Turn it Up! Marriage Tips and Tools

by Kelly DuPée
  • 5.0 (5)
  • Relationships
  • Updated Weekly

Turn it Up! Marriage Tips and Tools Podcast provides practical and easy to learn tools and tips so you can have the lifelong marriage that you really want. Each episode offers suggestions that address the various challenges all marriages face. If your marriage is struggling, if you're engaged, or newly married, this podcast will help you learn how to be married and avoid making the mistakes a lot of couples make. If you've been married for a while, it also will help you grow closer to each other and address issues that could be causing you problems.

  1. Sep 22

    Control your Anger

    Trying to control your anger before it damages your marriage? I'm Kelly DuPee, a Christian marriage coach and police chaplain, and in this video I break down Ephesians 4:26-27 and give you ten practical, Biblical ways to overcome an anger problem before it hurts the people you love most.------------------------------------------------In this video you will learn:- What Ephesians 4:26-27 actually means by "be angry and do not sin," and why anger itself isn't the problem- Why unresolved anger gives the enemy a foothold in your marriage, and why the timing matters- How to notice the early warning signs of anger in your own body before you're already out of control- Ten Biblical, practical steps to control your anger, from surrendering it to Jesus to calmly confronting the real issue with an "I" statement- How to tell the difference between reacting out of anger and responding with self-controlIf you've ever said something in anger you wish you could take back, or you're tired of anger quietly wearing down your marriage, this video will show you a better way forward.------------------------------------------------Scriptures referenced: Ephesians 4:26-27, John 10:10, Luke 9:23, Proverbs 29:11------------------------------------------------For personalized help, book your free 30-minute strategy call, visit turnitup.coach or call or text 626-804-1731 or schedule online at https://tidycal.com/kdupee1/30-minute-strategy-callGet your free digital copy of my book, Turn It Up, How to Have the Lifelong Marriage That You Really Want: https://turnitup.coach/75Download my free Couples Communication Guide: https://www.turnitup.coach/communicationguideWatch my video, How to Respond to an Angry Person, for the bucket of gasoline vs. bucket of water idea mentioned in this video: https://youtu.be/REJ3kJ_Tk9A------------------------------------------------ABOUT KELLYKelly DuPee is a Christian marriage coach, ordained pastor, and author who helps couples avoid the pain of divorce so that they can have the marriage God wants them to have. He holds a Master's degree in theology and a Bachelor's degree in psychology, a combination that allows him to offer both Biblically grounded and research-based solutions to marriage challenges. After 35 years serving as an associate pastor at a megachurch, Kelly stepped into full-time Christian marriage coaching while continuing his ministry as an ordained pastor and active police chaplain serving his local department and community. His chaplaincy work has equipped him to help couples and individuals process traumatic experiences, de-escalate conflict, communicate more effectively, and grieve loss. Married to his wife for almost 39 years, Kelly has coached hundreds of couples from across the United States and internationally. His approach is practical, faith-based, and built on nearly four decades of walking with real people through real marriage struggles.#christianmarriage #christianmarriagecoach #marriageadvice #marriagehelp #marriagecommunication #biblicalmarriage #christiancouple #relationshipadvice #marriagetips #christianliving#angermanagement #howtocontrolanger #ephesians4 #controlyouranger

  2. Sep 16

    Spouse Stonewalling?

    Are you struggling with stonewalling in your marriage because your husband goes silent and won't respond, even when you ask him directly? I'm Kelly DuPee, a Christian marriage coach and police chaplain, and in this video I'll show you what's really behind his silence and the five-step tool that finally gets him to respond.------------------------------------------------In this video you will learn:- The four patterns that leave a wife feeling unheard: getting flooded, shutting down to avoid failing, hijacking the conversation, and going completely silent- Why silence and stonewalling in marriage can look like peace and still be avoidance- How to identify what's actually driving your silence, whether it's fear of rejection, verbal abuse, or shame- A five-step tool for finally responding instead of going silent, starting with a simple prayer for boldness- The five R's of a real apology: repeat, take responsibility, express remorse, repent, and request forgivenessIf your husband takes notes and says "no, I'm good" instead of responding, this video will show you both what's underneath that and how to change it.------------------------------------------------Scriptures referenced: Ecclesiastes 3:7, James 1:19, Proverbs 15:23, 2 Timothy 1:7------------------------------------------------For personalized help, book your free 30-minute strategy call, visit turnitup.coach or call or text 626-804-1731 or schedule online at https://tidycal.com/kdupee1/30-minute-strategy-callGet your free digital copy of my book, Turn It Up, How to Have the Lifelong Marriage That You Really Want: https://turnitup.coach/75Download my free Couples Communication Guide: https://www.turnitup.coach/communicationguideWatch the other videos in this series on why wives don't feel heard and husbands shut down: He Shuts Down, She Gives Up - how to break this cycle: https://youtu.be/qIzXtakEKfgWhy Your Husband Shuts Down When He Can't Fix It: https://youtu.be/P8-G0whTlwwHow to Stop your Husband from Hijacking the conversation: https://youtu.be/JIchEvZOXZA------------------------------------------------ABOUT KELLYKelly DuPee is a Christian marriage coach, ordained pastor, and author who helps couples avoid the pain of divorce so that they can have the marriage God wants them to have. He holds a Master's degree in theology and a Bachelor's degree in psychology, a combination that allows him to offer both biblically grounded and research-based solutions to marriage challenges. After 35 years serving as an associate pastor at a megachurch, Kelly stepped into full-time Christian marriage coaching while continuing his ministry as an ordained pastor and active police chaplain serving his local department and community. His chaplaincy work has equipped him to help couples and individuals process traumatic experiences, de-escalate conflict, communicate more effectively, and grieve loss. Married to his wife for almost 39 years, Kelly has coached hundreds of couples from across the United States and internationally. His approach is practical, faith-based, and built on nearly four decades of walking with real people through real marriage struggles.------------------------------------------------#christianmarriage #christianmarriagecoach #marriageadvice #marriagehelp #marriagecommunication #biblicalmarriage #christiancouple #relationshipadvice #marriagetips #christianliving#stonewalling #silenttreatment #christianmarriageadvice #howtoapologize

  3. Sep 9

    Husband Hijacks Your Conversation

    Struggling with communication in marriage because your husband turns every hard conversation into one about him? I'm Kelly DuPee, a Christian marriage coach and police chaplain, and in this video I'll show you why he does it and the simple tool that stops it.------------------------------------------------In this video you will learn:- The three patterns that shut down real communication in marriage: getting defensive, going silent, and taking over the conversation- Why your husband hijacks the moment you pause to take a breath, and what's actually driving it- Why listening isn't something you do while waiting for your turn, it's how your spouse actually feels understood- The talking stick: a simple, practical tool for finally being heard without interrupting each other- Four steps to use the talking stick the next time you feel the pull to take over- The three types of listeners (empathetic, problem-solving, and hijacker) and how to ask your spouse for what you needIf you've ever felt like you can't finish a sentence before it becomes about him, this video will change how you talk to each other.------------------------------------------------Scriptures referenced: Proverbs 18:13, Philippians 2:3-4, James 1:19, Proverbs 20:5, Matthew 7:12------------------------------------------------For personalized help, book your free 30-minute strategy call, visit turnitup.coach or call or text 626-804-1731 or schedule online at https://tidycal.com/kdupee1/30-minute-strategy-callGet your free digital copy of my book, Turn It Up, How to Have the Lifelong Marriage That You Really Want: https://turnitup.coach/75Download my free Couples Communication Guide: https://www.turnitup.coach/communicationguideWatch the other videos in this series on why wives don't feel heard and husbands shut down: He Shuts Down, She Gives Up - how to break this cycle: https://youtu.be/qIzXtakEKfgWhy Your Husband Shuts Down When He Can't Fix It: https://youtu.be/P8-G0whTlww------------------------------------------------ABOUT KELLYKelly DuPee is a Christian marriage coach, ordained pastor, and author who helps couples avoid the pain of divorce so that they can have the marriage God wants them to have. He holds a Master's degree in theology and a Bachelor's degree in psychology, a combination that allows him to offer both biblically grounded and research-based solutions to marriage challenges. After 35 years serving as an associate pastor at a megachurch, Kelly stepped into full-time Christian marriage coaching while continuing his ministry as an ordained pastor and active police chaplain serving his local department and community. His chaplaincy work has equipped him to help couples and individuals process traumatic experiences, de-escalate conflict, communicate more effectively, and grieve loss. Married to his wife for almost 39 years, Kelly has coached hundreds of couples from across the United States and internationally. His approach is practical, faith-based, and built on nearly four decades of walking with real people through real marriage struggles.------------------------------------------------#christianmarriage #christianmarriagecoach #marriageadvice #marriagehelp #marriagecommunication #biblicalmarriage #christiancouple #relationshipadvice #marriagetips #christianliving#communicationinmarriage #activelistening #christianmarriageadvice #howtolisten

  4. Aug 26

    Husband Shuts Down when He Can't Fix It

    This is Christian marriage advice for the moment your husband goes silent because he can't fix what's hurting you. I'm Kelly DuPee, a Christian marriage coach and police chaplain, and in this video I'll show you why so many husbands shut down when they can't fix your problem, and what they can do instead.In this video you will learn:The two things every one of us reaches for when someone we love is hurting: a wrench or a blanket.Why husbands understand wrenches but were never taught what a blanket is for.Why listening isn't something you do while you wait to actually help her. Listening is helping.The "Ministry of Presence" I learned as a police chaplain, and how it applies to your marriage.Five practical steps for the next time your spouse brings you something you can't fixIf you've ever gone quiet because you didn't know what to say, this video will change how you show up for your spouse.Scriptures referenced: Proverbs 29:20, Romans 12:15, 2 Corinthians 1:3-4, James 1:19, Proverbs 20:5, Galatians 6:2, Matthew 5:4For personalized help, book your free 30-minute strategy call, visit turnitup.coach or call or text 626-804-1731 or schedule online at https://tidycal.com/kdupee1/30-minute-strategy-call Get your free digital copy of my book, Turn It Up, How to Have the Lifelong Marriage That You Really Want: https://turnitup.coach/75 Download my free Couples Communication Guide: https://www.turnitup.coach/communicationguide Watch my video on how to improve your listening: https://youtu.be/6j_LXfKKLCU

  5. Aug 18

    He Shuts Down, She gives Up

    He goes quiet. You push him to keep talking, and somehow that turns into a fight. You finally give up, exhausted, still never having said what was really on your heart. Sound familiar? In this video, Christian marriage coach Kelly DuPée breaks down why husbands emotionally shut down during hard conversations, why trying to push through it only escalates things, and gives you a practical, biblically grounded tool to break the cycle, the "pause and return."This isn't about excusing shutdown or silent treatment in marriage. It's about understanding what's happening underneath it (emotional flooding, not indifference) and giving both spouses a way to stay engaged, him without disappearing, her without losing her voice.If you're dealing with stonewalling in your relationship, a husband who won't open up, or you feel like every hard conversation turns into a fight you can't win, this video is for you.In this video you'll learn: ✅ Why husbands flood and shut down during emotional conversations, and why pushing back turns it into a fight ✅ The exact script to call a healthy pause without it becoming avoidance ✅ How to set a return time that actually rebuilds trust ✅ Why you should both be praying during the pause, not just calming down ✅ Why internal processors (who need quiet to think) and external processors (who talk to think) clash during hard conversations — and how to work with it instead of against it ✅ How to lead with one clear thing instead of a flood of words, so your husband can actually hear you ✅ A simple challenge to practice this tool in your marriage this week.📞 Book your free 30-minute strategy call: turnitup.coach or by by calling or texting 626-804-1731or go to https://tidycal.com/kdupee1/30-minute-strategy-call📘 Get a free digital copy of my book, Turn It Up — How to Have the Lifelong Marriage That You Really Want: https://turnitup.coach/75📩 Type GUIDE in the comments for my free Couples Communication Guide or go to https://www.turnitup.coach/communicationguide🎥 Related video — Fight or Flight? Here's a Better Way: https://youtu.be/tjUE0sOHhbU📖 Scriptures referenced in this video (NIV, unless noted): Proverbs 18:13, James 1:19, 2 Timothy 1:7 (NKJV), Proverbs 20:3, Ecclesiastes 5:5, Matthew 5:37, Psalm 46:1, Proverbs 31:26, Ecclesiastes 5:2, 1 Peter 3:7I'm Kelly DuPée — ordained pastor, police chaplain, and Christian marriage coach with a Master's in Theology and a Bachelor's in Psychology. After 35 years as an associate pastor, I now coach couples across the U.S. and internationally, helping them avoid the pain of divorce and build the marriage God wants them to have. I'm the author of Turn It Up: How to Have the Lifelong Marriage That You Really Want, and I've been married to my wife Carrie for almost 39 years.🔔 Subscribe for weekly marriage tips and tools like this one.#ChristianMarriage #MarriageAdvice #StonewallingInRelationships #EmotionalFlooding #MarriageCoach #ChristianCouples #RelationshipAdvice #marriagecommunication

  6. Aug 12

    Resolving Conflict

    Do you avoid conflict in your marriage because every time you try to work through it, it turns into a fight? Christian marriage coach and police chaplain Kelly DuPee teaches a biblical approach to conflict resolution in marriage — 7 steps for having a calm, confrontational conversation and saying the hard thing with love, clarity, and without starting a war.------------------------------------------------In this video you will learn:- Why avoiding conflict isn't "keeping the peace" — it's keeping score, and how buried hurt eventually explodes- The biggest lie about confrontation (and why avoidance, not honesty, is really the opposite of love)- A simple, biblical framework for conflict resolution in marriage — how to prepare your heart before you say a word- An "I statement" formula that names the hurt without throwing a weapon- How to make a clear, respectful request — and the difference between forgiveness and reconciliationWhether you are dealing with ongoing conflict in your marriage, a recurring argument, or something you have been afraid to say for months — this video will give you a practical, faith-based path forward.------------------------------------------------Scriptures referenced: Proverbs 27:5, Ephesians 4:15, Ephesians 4:26, 1 Corinthians 13:4-5, Proverbs 15:1, James 1:19, Matthew 7:7, Colossians 3:13------------------------------------------------For personalized help, book your free 30-minute strategy call — visit turnitup.coach or call or text 626-804-1731 or schedule online at https://tidycal.com/kdupee1/30-minute-strategy-callGet your free digital copy of my book, Turn It Up — How to Have the Lifelong Marriage That You Really Want: https://turnitup.coach/75Download my free Couples Communication Guide: https://www.turnitup.coach/communicationguideWatch my video on the 4 levels of communication (the volume knob): https://youtu.be/n-kOO3BfeU0------------------------------------------------ABOUT KELLYKelly DuPee is a Christian marriage coach, ordained pastor, and author who helps couples avoid the pain of divorce so that they can have the marriage God wants them to have. He holds a Master's degree in theology and a Bachelor's degree in psychology — a combination that allows him to offer both biblically grounded and research-based solutions to marriage challenges. After 35 years serving as an associate pastor at a megachurch, Kelly stepped into full-time Christian marriage coaching while continuing his ministry as an ordained pastor and active police chaplain serving his local department and community. His chaplaincy work has equipped him to help couples and individuals process traumatic experiences, de-escalate conflict, communicate more effectively, and grieve loss. Married to his wife for almost 39 years, Kelly has coached hundreds of couples from across the United States and internationally. His approach is practical, faith-based, and built on nearly four decades of walking with real people through real marriage struggles.---------------------------------------------#christianmarriage #christianmarriagecoach #marriageadvice #marriagehelp #marriagecommunication #biblicalmarriage #christiancouple #relationshipadvice #marriagetips #christianliving#conflictresolution #conflictinmarriage #confrontation #forgiveness

  7. Aug 5

    Angry Spouse? How to Respond

    Do you know what to do when your spouse is angry at you? Christian marriage coach, pastor, and police chaplain Kelly DuPée uses a simple picture — the water bucket and the gasoline bucket — to show why most of us make an angry moment worse without even realizing it, and gives you seven biblical steps to respond instead of react.In this video you will learn:* Why your brain treats a spouse's anger as a threat, and what that does to your response* The difference between the "gasoline bucket" (defensiveness, shutting down) and the "water bucket" (a gentle answer)* Seven practical steps to respond, not react, when your spouse is upset — including calling a time-out the right way* How to listen to understand, repeat back what you heard, and empathize before you speak* The five Rs of an effective apology: repeat, responsibility, remorse, repent, and request forgivenessWhether your marriage is dealing with a recurring blowup or you just want to handle conflict with more wisdom, this video will give you a practical, faith-based path to putting the fire out for good.📖 Scriptures referenced: Proverbs 15:1, James 1:19, Proverbs 29:11, Proverbs 18:13, Romans 12:15, Proverbs 20:5, Matthew 5:23-24, James 5:16📞 For personalized help, book your free 30-minute strategy call — visit turnitup.coach or call or text 626-804-1731 or schedule online at https://tidycal.com/kdupee1/30-minute-strategy-call📘 Get your free digital copy of my book, Turn It Up — How to Have the Lifelong Marriage That You Really Want: https://turnitup.coach/75📩 Download my free Couples Communication Guide: https://www.turnitup.coach/communicationguide🎥 Watch my video on Apologizing Using the Five Rs: https://youtu.be/kKUgGgV2M9cKelly DuPée is a Christian marriage coach, ordained pastor, and author who helps couples avoid the pain of divorce so they can have the marriage God wants them to have. He holds a Master's degree in theology and a Bachelor's degree in psychology — offering both biblically grounded and research-based solutions. After 35 years as a megachurch associate pastor, Kelly stepped into full-time coaching while continuing as an ordained pastor and active police chaplain. His chaplaincy work has equipped him to help couples process trauma, de-escalate conflict, communicate effectively, and grieve loss. Married to Carrie for almost 39 years, he has coached hundreds of couples across the US and internationally.#christianmarriage #christianmarriagecoach #marriageadvice #conflictresolution #angermanagement #christiancouples #marriagehelp #biblicalmarriage #gentleanswer #healthycommunication

  8. Jul 30

    Stop Being His Mom

    Do you want to be your husband's wife or his mom? Join me as I explain the “mothering” (parent-child) dynamic that can develop in marriage when one spouse manages and the other checks out, leading to resentment, lost respect, and fading intimacy. I emphasize that neither spouse is the villain and that change starts by naming the pattern without blame and owning each partner’s role. Learn practical steps to change this: the managing spouse stops correcting and allows autonomy (and reasonable consequences), while the passive spouse takes consistent initiative and responsibility. I address husbands specifically with “leave and cleave,” share my own commitment to stop saying “I forgot,” encourage redefining household roles together, rebuilding respect through consistency and appreciation, and inviting God into the process through prayer.Are you struggling with marital resentment? Learn how to stop over-managing tasks and create healthier decision making in marriage.This video is designed for partners who feel burdened by constantly taking control or for those who feel stifled by a controlling spouse. When one person manages every detail of the relationship, it often leads to deep frustration and imbalance. We examine why this pattern develops and how it affects your connection.By applying the Action Steps, you can begin to shift these habits. This approach encourages you to step back from unnecessary management, allowing space for your partner to contribute and fostering a more equal partnership. You will learn practical ways to implement healthy marriage boundaries that reduce conflict and improve communication.Understanding these marriage dynamics is the first step toward a more balanced life together. If you want to stop the cycle of resentment and build a stronger foundation, these shifts are essential to practice.00:00 The Big Question01:36 Meet Kelly DuPée02:55 Parent Child Dynamic04:12 Why It Happens05:45 Romance Starts Dying06:21 Action Step One09:21 Stop Managing11:27 Step Up Initiative13:56 Leave And Cleave15:56 Redefine Roles Together17:13 Rebuild Respect19:01 Invite God In20:47 Final EncouragementHere's the link to download my free couples communication guide: https://www.turnitup.coach/communicationguideI'm also offering a free 30-minute strategy call for personalized help. Schedule your free Strategy call today at by calling or texting 626-804-1731or go to https://tidycal.com/kdupee1/30-minute-strategy-callHere's the link to get your free copy of my book, Turn it Up - how to have the lifelong marriage that you really want: https://turnitup.coach/75Here's the link to my video on How to Earn your Wife's Respect: https://youtu.be/VKeHro7TqHQ

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Turn it Up! Marriage Tips and Tools Podcast provides practical and easy to learn tools and tips so you can have the lifelong marriage that you really want. Each episode offers suggestions that address the various challenges all marriages face. If your marriage is struggling, if you're engaged, or newly married, this podcast will help you learn how to be married and avoid making the mistakes a lot of couples make. If you've been married for a while, it also will help you grow closer to each other and address issues that could be causing you problems.

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