10 episodes

Real, raw, honest, delicious. The Radical Intimacy Podcast is a series of conversations rooted in deep connection—with ourselves, each other, and with life itself. Our guests are a collection of brilliant individuals from a variety of disciplines. Hosted by sex and intimacy coach Zoë Kors, author of Radical Intimacy: Cultivate the Deeply Connected Relationships You Desire and Deserve.

The Radical Intimacy Podcast Zoë Kors - Author, Sex and Intimacy Coach

    • Society & Culture
    • 5.0 • 11 Ratings

Real, raw, honest, delicious. The Radical Intimacy Podcast is a series of conversations rooted in deep connection—with ourselves, each other, and with life itself. Our guests are a collection of brilliant individuals from a variety of disciplines. Hosted by sex and intimacy coach Zoë Kors, author of Radical Intimacy: Cultivate the Deeply Connected Relationships You Desire and Deserve.

    E09: Chapter One: More Than Sex (Solo Episode)

    E09: Chapter One: More Than Sex (Solo Episode)

    In my first solo episode of The Radical Intimacy Podcast, I read the first Chapter of my upcoming book, Radical Intimacy: Cultivate the Deeply Connected Relationships You Desire and Deserve. In this first chapter, "More Than Sex," I share my perspective of intimacy by drawing two important distinctions: 1. That intimacy is much more complex and dimensional than just sex. Of course, sex is one part of intimacy, but there's more. 2. That our limited understanding of intimacy has the achievement of it dependent on someone or something outside of ourselves. In actuality, the nature of intimacy is vast and readily accessible to each and every one of us individually. I also talk about my own sexless ten year marriage in my 20s, and how that set me on a lifelong exploration and understanding of all kinds of intimacy on all levels. If you like what you hear in this episode, there are thirteen more chapters and a collection of exercises and practices which will help you create the deeply connected life you desire and deserve.

    BUY THE BOOK HERE

    Zoë Kors’ Links:
    Zoë’s Website
    The Radical Intimacy Podcast
    Coral: Sexual Wellness App

    • 26 min
    E08: Rewrite Your Sex Script with Dr. Ian Kerner

    E08: Rewrite Your Sex Script with Dr. Ian Kerner

    Welcome to another episode of the Radical Intimacy podcast! Today we are joined by licensed psychotherapist, sexuality counselor, and best-selling author, Dr. Ian Kerner to talk about sex scripts. We find out what a sex script is, exactly, and how the structure of it makes room for spontaneity in the bedroom. Dr. Kerner shares his approach to encouraging couples to rewrite their sex scripts in therapy, and what his clients typically find challenging. We discuss the power of psychological arousal, open communication, and shared fantasy, as well as the important distinction between consensual and non-consensual objectification. Furthermore, Dr. Kerner shares his insight into the damaging repercussions of pornography, and the principal differences between mainstream and ethical porn. Tune in to find out how to rewrite your sex script! 
     
    Key Points From This Episode:
    •    What inspired Dr. Ian Kerner to write So Tell Me About The Last Time You Had Sex and what the title signifies, in terms of his sex therapy approach.
    •    What a sex script is and why it’s important to structure your sex life.
    •    The power of psychological arousal.
    •    The benefits of sexual dialogue and shared fantasy.
    •    What it means to have safety in a sexual relationship.
    •    Face-to-face psychological arousal versus side-by-side experiences.
    •    The ethical erotica available to us!  
    •    How people are yet to exercise and explore their erotic imagination.
    •    The difference between consensual objectification and non-consensual objectification.
    •    The damaging repercussions of pornography.
    •    The difference between mainstream porn and ethical porn.
    •    Sex as a resource for positivity in a relationship.
    •    The importance of communication with yourself and your partner.


    Links Mentioned in Today’s Episode:
    Dr. Ian Kerner
    Dr. Ian Kerner on Twitter
    She Comes First: The Thinking Man's Guide to Pleasuring a Woman
    So Tell Me About the Last Time You Had Sex Our Love Lives
    Ian Kerner TED Talk


    Zoë Kors’ Links:
    Zoë’s Website
    Zoë’s Book: Radical Intimacy
    The Radical Intimacy Podcast
    Coral: Sexual Wellness App

    • 36 min
    E07: Thriving After Sexual Trauma with Dr. Holly Richmond

    E07: Thriving After Sexual Trauma with Dr. Holly Richmond

    There are plenty of misconceptions out there about what constitutes a sexual transgression, but the truth is that your experience doesn’t need to be violent for it to be a violation. The term sexual trauma is deliberately broad and all-encompassing and includes any non-consensual act. Yet, for many survivors, it takes them years before they can recognize that their experiences were a violation. Today on the show, we get together with Dr. Holly Richmond to help us take a closer look at sexual trauma and unpack how our minds and bodies react to these experiences. Holly is a somatic psychotherapist, a licensed marriage and family therapist, as well as a certified sex therapist. She is also the author of Reclaiming Pleasure: A Sex-Positive Guide for Moving Past Sexual Trauma and Living a Passionate Life. In our conversation with Holly, we discuss her work as a therapist, why so many of her patients have taken years to recognize and seek help for their trauma, and the reasons behind why so much of sexual trauma is tied up with feelings of shame and low self-worth. We also dive into the dissonance between our mind and body after experiencing sexual trauma, and how survivors can begin to move from a state of surviving to thriving. Today’s conversation is both hugely informative and deeply empathic. It sheds valuable light on the experiences of so many individuals and ultimately shares an empowering message of self-actualization, sex positivity, and pleasure!
     
    Key Points From This Episode:
     
    ●      The definition of sexual trauma and the importance of having an all-encompassing term.
    ●      Why sexual trauma isn’t necessarily violent, but always non-consensual and violating.
    ●      The role that shame and low self-worth play in repeated instances of sexual trauma.
    ●      Why it takes many survivors years before they recognize and seek help for sexual trauma.
    ●      The dissonance between mind and body after a traumatic event.
    ●      How society has conditioned us to ignore our trauma in order to stay productive.
    ●      Some of the initial steps that survivors can take in addressing their trauma.
    ●      The four types of trauma response: fight, flight, freeze, or fawn.
    ●      A definition of the lesser-known response fawn, and why it’s described as 'freeze with a smile on your face'.
    ●      The distinction between surviving and thriving, and the role that pleasure plays in thriving.
    ●      The role of eroticism and sexual fantasy and how that can be nourishing and healthy.
    ●      How Holly’s book addresses issues around sexual fantasy, trauma, and integration.
    ●      Holly’s advice on how to find a sex-positive therapist.


    Links Mentioned in Today’s Episode:

    Dr. Holly Richmond
    Holly Richmond on LinkedIn
    Reclaiming Pleasure: A Sex-Positive Guide for Moving Past Sexual Trauma and Living a Passionate Life
    The American Association of Sexuality, Educators, Counselors, and Therapists



    Zoë Kors’ Links:
    Zoë’s Website
    Zoë’s Book: Radical Intimacy
    The Radical Intimacy Podcast
    Coral: Sexual Wellness App

    • 38 min
    E06: Breaking the Trauma Bond with Kate Anthony

    E06: Breaking the Trauma Bond with Kate Anthony

    When we are trauma-bonded, it's nearly impossible to see the truth. By design, isolation and self-doubt are an intrinsic part of a trauma bond, which is why it's so hard to extract ourselves from the patterns of toxicity and abuse. Today’s guest on the Radical Intimacy Podcast is Kate Anthony, host of the critically acclaimed New York Times-recommended podcast, The Divorce Survival Guide Podcast, and creator of the groundbreaking online coaching program, Should I Stay or Should I Go? in which she helps women make the most difficult decision of their lives using coaching tools, relationship education, geeky neuroscience, community support, and deep self-work. Kate empowers women to find their strength, passion, and confidence, even in the most disempowering of circumstances, helping them move forward with concrete plans and see that they can put their children at the center of their decisions, not in the middle. In this episode, we talk about trauma bonding, an emotional attachment formed by a cycle of abuse, devaluation, and positive reinforcement, and how to break free.
     
    Key Points From This Episode:
    ·   The physiological and emotional addictions inherent in trauma bonding.
    ·   Some questions to ask yourself to determine if you’re in an abusive relationship.
    ·   Understanding the difference between narcissists and abusers.
    ·   Kate highlights the trauma bond in the story of Beauty and the Beast.
    ·   What Kate believes the ‘men’s movement’ is missing: women’s voices and doing the work.
    ·   How trauma bonds go both ways and the difference between ‘reaction abuse’ and trauma.
    ·   How your childhood trauma informs your chances of ending up in an abusive relationship.
    ·   Find out why Kate believes that abusers can’t change.
    ·   The first step you can take to get out of an abusive relationship: educate yourself!
    ·   The value of finding a therapist or coach who specializes in emotional abuse recovery.
    ·   Kate’s advice for victims of abuse: remember how many times this has happened.
    ·   What to do if you are the victim of physical violence and where you can get help.
    ·   Tips for survivors of an abusive relationship: do the Self-recovery work.
    ·   The importance of going where the energy feels good; where feels like home?


    Links Mentioned in Today’s Episode:
    Kate Anthony
    The Divorce Survival Guide Podcast
    Should I Stay or Should I Go? Program
    Should I Stay or Should I Go? Facebook Group
    Kate Anthony on Twitter
    Kate Anthony on instagram
    Kate Anthony on TikTok
    Why Does He Do That?
    The Good Men Project
    Am I the Abuser? with Rhian Lockard


    Zoë Kors’ Links:
    Zoë’s Website
    Zoë’s Book: Radical Intimacy
    The Radical Intimacy Podcast
    Coral: Sexual Wellness App


    Resources:

    National Domestic Violence Hotline

    • 48 min
    E05 Ghana: Return to the Door of No Return with Natalie Patterson (Part Two)

    E05 Ghana: Return to the Door of No Return with Natalie Patterson (Part Two)

    Welcome to Part 2 of our deeply meaningful conversation with poet, activist, teaching artist, mental health advocate, and general queen, Natalie Patterson. Join us as we discuss the inevitability of death, how generational wealth is hoarded in already privileged families, and where the journey of unlearning needs to begin for white people. Natalie invokes a call to action for white women that aren't being curious enough about the Black experience, before sharing the anchor of compassion and tenderness that teaches us all so much about life; when we can be a witness and hold space for others. We talk about the importance of making conscious decisions with your short time here and how Instagram can be a teaching tool for self-growth and pushing your threshold of discomfort if used intentionally. We then dive into the urgency of teaching critical race theory, and how pervasive denial around the horrific reality of slavery keeps American citizens and leadership “comfortable” while blindly signing children up to a false reality. You'll also hear our discussion around white guilt versus the need to be disruptive and Natalie’s comments on the ability of technology to distract us from what matters most. Finally, we hear some parting quick-fire questions so we can get to know Natalie even better; and her answers don't disappoint! We hope you can join us for Part 2 of this crucial conversation!
     
    Key Points From This Episode:
    •   Natalie starts with optimism that modern humans are capable of doing what needs to be done. 
    •   There actually are enough awake white people to shift the tide: they just aren't bold enough. 
    •   How the steps of uncomfortable learning don't compare to the constant discomfort of living as a Black person in America. 
    •   A call for white women to be mindfully curious about the vastly different Black lives and experiences around them. 
    •   How just witnessing and holding space for others teaches you so much about life.
    •   Addressing the redistribution of wealth, hoarding, and the nature of family.
    •   Talking about the inevitability of death and making conscious decisions while you are alive.
    •   Using Instagram to stay teachable by challenging your thoughts and judgments.
    •   The importance of tenderness and having sounding boards internally and in our communities.
    •   How we can create environments where BIPOC feel a sense of safety and belonging.
    •   Why teaching critical race theory is vital to stop denial about the horrifying truth of slavery. 
    •   Enduring distrust of leadership in America, who pretend these issues aren't significant.
    •   Touching on white guilt versus the need to be disruptive. 
    •   How having more compassion means that everybody wins. 
    •   Some closing questions on Natalie's best and worst words, how community and tenderness turn her on, and what she'll hear the Pearly Gates.
     
    Links Mentioned in Today’s Episode:
    Natalie Patterson
    Natalie Patterson on Twitter
    Natalie Patterson on Instagram
    Natalie Patterson on YouTube

     
    Zoë Kors’ Links:
    Zoë’s Website
    Zoë’s Book: Radical Intimacy
    The Radical Intimacy Podcast
    Coral: Sexual Wellness App

    • 41 min
    E04 Ghana: Return to the Door of No Return with Natalie Patterson (Part One)

    E04 Ghana: Return to the Door of No Return with Natalie Patterson (Part One)

    For the Black community, the impact of centuries of unaddressed trauma still manifests today. And while part of that is certainly due to ongoing social injustice, some of the impact might very well be inherited. Today’s guest is Natalie Patterson, a poet, teaching artist, mental health advocate, and diversity, equity, and inclusion leader. She uses her dynamic range and expertise to masterfully make abstract concepts tangible, bridging personal experience with larger cultural occurrences using art, performance, talking circles, and custom workshops. Natalie is known for her integrity, passion, social activism, and her ability to work with people of all ages, genders, races, and cultures by showing up fully and inviting folks to remember that who they are is enough. In today’s deeply personal episode, we address intergenerational trauma through the lens of a trip that Natalie took to Cape Coast Castle in Ghana, one of the most famous trading posts in Ghana’s dark history of slavery. Natalie shares her candid reflections on the delusion of the human spirit, why knowing where you come from should be a birthright, not a privilege, and the relationship between generational trauma, disenfranchisement, and belonging, as well as how she seeks to deconstruct and humanize these experiences through her work. This is a deeply insightful and difficult conversation, but one that is critically important for understanding the blueprint of historical cruelty that still exists in our systems today, so make sure to join us for part one of our discussion with Natalie Patterson.


    Key Points From This Episode:
    •    What led Natalie to take an ultimately extraordinary trip to Ghana.
    •    The deep, visceral impact of the tour she took of Cape Coast Castle.
    •    Natalie shares her experience of the rooms where slaves were held before being shipped off.
    •    The immense grief and overwhelm she felt while bearing witness to the inconceivable horror of what occurred in these spaces.
    •    Our reflections on the intolerable and mind-blowing cruelty that occurred in the castle.
    •    Why Natalie believes that returning to the place of your ancestors should be a birthright.
    •    What the water led her to understand about Black intergenerational trauma and swimming.
    •    Hear about her experience of being othered by a local in a bustling, outdoor market.
    •    Generational trauma, disenfranchisement, and belonging; how Natalie fights for comfort.
    •    Understanding the blueprint for this kind of horror that still exists in our systems today.
    •    How Natalie seeks to deconstruct and humanize these narratives through her work.
     
    Links Mentioned in Today’s Episode:
    Natalie Patterson
    Natalie Patterson on Twitter
    Natalie Patterson on Instagram
    Natalie Patterson on YouTube


    Zoë Kors’ Links:
    Zoë’s Website
    Zoë’s Book: Radical Intimacy
    The Radical Intimacy Podcast
    Coral: Sexual Wellness App

    • 50 min

Customer Reviews

5.0 out of 5
11 Ratings

11 Ratings

askpang ,

Like a horny Ira Glass, in a good way

I was lucky to see an early preview of Zoe’s book RADICAL INTIMACY, and this podcast really captures her distinctive voice, curiosity about the human condition, and the radical intimacy project. The mix of guests is thoughtful and eclectic (like the book), and she has a knack for getting people talking thoughtfully about topics that are too rarely the subject of serious conversation.

Top Podcasts In Society & Culture

The Viall Files
Nick Viall
MeSsy with Christina Applegate & Jamie-Lynn Sigler
Wishbone Production
Stuff You Should Know
iHeartPodcasts
Unlocking Us with Brené Brown
Vox Media Podcast Network
This American Life
This American Life
Shawn Ryan Show
Shawn Ryan | Cumulus Podcast Network

You Might Also Like