The Reluctant Leader Podcast with Paul Jenkins

Paul Jenkins
  • 5.0 (15)
  • Christianity
  • Weekly

Throughout the years, I've come to believe two truths: one, everyone leads someone, and two, no one really feels qualified to lead anyone. Add the pressure put on us by culture to have all the answers in a world full of confusion, and you've got a recipe for reluctant leaders.Thankfully, when it comes to leading in the Bible and in life, the most qualified aren't always the most obvious. This podcast is a conversation for all of us who want to lead well but never feel like we are. New episodes are released on the 2nd and 4th Tuesdays of each month.

  1. Oct 27

    TRLP 081: My Story of Leading While Grieving

    Got questions or comments? Text them to me! The finale of the "Strength in the Cracks" series — exploring vulnerability in leadership as a place of God's power, not human weakness. Episode Summary Everything this series has argued for — power made perfect in weakness, identity before performance, the difference between vulnerability and oversharing — gets tested in real life. In this finale, Paul tells his own story: leading worship through the deaths of his mother and brother within twenty days of each other, being honest with his congregation in the middle of it ("I may just start crying up here — if I do, just keep worshipping"), and what he learned a year later when a woman told him how watching him grieve had impacted her whole family. What We Cover Why vulnerability isn't always a choice you get to plan or timeLeading worship publicly through the sudden loss of two family members in twenty daysLiving right on the line between vulnerability and oversharing — and not always knowing which side you're onWhat it meant to hear, a year later, that an unhidden, unpolished season of grief had impacted another familyClosing out the series: power made perfect in weakness isn't theory — it's livedThis Week's Challenge If you're in a season you didn't choose, one you can't hide from public view: you don't need a polished version of honesty to be helpful to people. True is enough. Quotable Moments "I may just start crying up here. And if I do — just keep worshipping.""True was enough.""Not the bulletproof leader. The honest one. The one who's still standing there, still leading, even when the armor's completely gone."The Full Series — "Strength in the Cracks" The Myth of the Bulletproof PastorPower Made Perfect in WeaknessWhat Your Brain Does When You Fake StrengthIdentity Informs Activity — Leading From BelovednessVulnerability vs. OversharingLeading Through Grief in Public⬇️  ⬇️  ⬇️  ⬇️  ⬇️ Thanks for listening to The Reluctant Leader Podcast with Paul Jenkins! Find me on Twitter, Facebook, and Instagram, and be sure to read the stuff I'm writing on my blog. Rather watch the video? Head over to The Reluctant Leader Podcast on my YouTube channel.

    TRLP 081: My Story of Leading While Grieving

  2. Oct 13

    TRLP 080 - Vulnerability vs Oversharing

    Got questions or comments? Text them to me! Part five of the "Strength in the Cracks" series — exploring vulnerability in leadership as a place of God's power, not human weakness. Episode Summary Being "real" from the stage can go wrong — and Paul's been on the wrong side of that line himself. In this episode, he draws a clear distinction between vulnerability and oversharing: vulnerability serves the listener, oversharing serves the speaker. From there, he walks through how to tell the difference in real time, why vulnerability from the stage should usually be processed somewhere smaller first, and three practical questions to ask before sharing something publicly. What We Cover The simple test: vulnerability serves the listener, oversharing serves the speakerWhy your congregation, staff, or kids can't be your primary source of emotional processingThe difference between vulnerability that's been metabolized first and oversharing as raw, real-time processingThree questions to ask before sharing something vulnerable publiclyWhy "the crack in the armor is the opening, not the leak" only holds true when the hard work happens somewhere smaller firstThis Week's Challenge Before sharing something vulnerable publicly, ask: Who is this for? Have I processed this somewhere smaller first? If nobody responds the way I need them to, am I still okay? If the last answer is no, it's not ready for the stage yet. Quotable Moments "Vulnerability serves the listener. Oversharing serves the speaker.""Oversharing is raw processing happening in real time, in public, with people who didn't consent to be your processing partners.""That's not failure — that's wisdom."Coming Up Next The series finale — Paul tells his own story of a season where vulnerability wasn't a choice he got to plan. About the Series Strength in the Cracks is a mini-series exploring how pastors and leaders can experience vulnerability not as a liability to manage, but as a place where God's power shows up most clearly — drawn from Paul's ongoing D.Min. research in Spiritual Formation and Relational Neuroscience. ⬇️  ⬇️  ⬇️  ⬇️  ⬇️ Thanks for listening to The Reluctant Leader Podcast with Paul Jenkins! Find me on Twitter, Facebook, and Instagram, and be sure to read the stuff I'm writing on my blog. Rather watch the video? Head over to The Reluctant Leader Podcast on my YouTube channel.

    TRLP 080 - Vulnerability vs Oversharing

  3. Sep 22

    TRLP 079: Letting Our Identity Inform Our Activity

    Got questions or comments? Text them to me! Part four of the "Strength in the Cracks" series — exploring vulnerability in leadership as a place of God's power, not human weakness. Episode Summary If a bad week can quietly shrink your sense of who you are, whose identity are you actually operating from? In this episode, Paul turns the corner from diagnosis to formation, unpacking the principle "identity informs activity" — using Jesus's baptism and wilderness temptation to show what it looks like to lead from a settled, beloved identity instead of a performed one, and why that shift is what actually makes vulnerability possible. What We Cover Why most of us let activity build our identity, instead of the other way aroundJesus's baptism — belovedness declared before any ministry activity happensHow the wilderness temptations are really one temptation: perform your way into an identity instead of resting in one already givenWhy you can't afford to be vulnerable if your identity depends on approval of your performanceA practical shift: naming "I'm not walking in here to become beloved, I'm walking in here beloved" before a hard momentScripture Referenced Matthew 3:17 (and parallels) — "This is my beloved Son, in whom I am well pleased"Matthew 4:1-11 — The wilderness temptations following Jesus's baptismThe Challenge Before walking into something that usually makes you perform — a hard conversation, a sermon, a dreaded meeting — pause and remind yourself: "I'm not walking in here to become beloved. I'm walking in here beloved. Whatever happens in this room doesn't get to decide that." Quotable Moments "If your sense of being a good leader only exists on the other side of performance, you will never stop performing.""Vulnerability stops being a threat. It's just honesty. It's just what a settled person sounds like when they talk.""Identity first. Activity second. Always in that order."About the Series Strength in the Cracks is a mini-series exploring how pastors and leaders can experience vulnerability not as a liability to manage, but as a place where God's power shows up most clearly — drawn from Paul's ongoing D.Min. research in Spiritual Formation and Relational Neuroscience. ⬇️  ⬇️  ⬇️  ⬇️  ⬇️ Thanks for listening to The Reluctant Leader Podcast with Paul Jenkins! Find me on Twitter, Facebook, and Instagram, and be sure to read the stuff I'm writing on my blog. Rather watch the video? Head over to The Reluctant Leader Podcast on my YouTube channel.

    TRLP 079: Letting Our Identity Inform Our Activity

  4. Sep 8

    TRLP 078: What Your Brain Does When You Fake Strength

    Got questions or comments? Text them to me! Part three of the "Strength in the Cracks" series — exploring vulnerability in leadership as a place of God's power, not human weakness. Episode Summary That feeling right before you walk into a hard meeting or step on stage and consciously arrange your face, posture, and tone — it's not just a mental trick. In this episode, Paul draws on his doctoral research in relational neuroscience to explain what's actually happening in a leader's nervous system when they perform strength instead of being known, and why that cost is physical, not just spiritual. What We Cover Why "managing perception" registers in the body as a low-grade threat stateCo-regulation: what happens physiologically when we're genuinely safe with another person — and why pastors who are always the "steady one" rarely get to receive itShame vs. grace at the physiological level — how shame shuts the body down and safety opens it back upHow this connects to "identity informs activity" — a settled, beloved identity means the body isn't burning fuel managing a threat that isn't realThe real cost of armored leadership: exhaustion that shows up in marriage, friendships, and a leader's own stillness with GodThis Week's Challenge Pick one moment — a meeting, a conversation, a moment in a sermon — and instead of managing how you're perceived, just be present. Notice the difference in your body when you do. Quotable Moments "You're pouring out a resource you're never getting refilled.""The armored version of leadership isn't just spiritually costly. It is physically, literally exhausting.""Your body isn't burning fuel managing a threat that isn't real."Coming Up Next Episode 4 turns the corner from diagnosis to formation — what it actually looks like to lead from belovedness instead of performance. About the Series Strength in the Cracks is a mini-series exploring how pastors and leaders can experience vulnerability not as a liability to manage, but as a place where God's power shows up most clearly — drawn from Paul's ongoing D.Min. research in Spiritual Formation and Relational Neuroscience. ⬇️  ⬇️  ⬇️  ⬇️  ⬇️ Thanks for listening to The Reluctant Leader Podcast with Paul Jenkins! Find me on Twitter, Facebook, and Instagram, and be sure to read the stuff I'm writing on my blog. Rather watch the video? Head over to The Reluctant Leader Podcast on my YouTube channel.

    TRLP 078: What Your Brain Does When You Fake Strength

  5. Aug 25

    TRLP 077: Power Made Perfect in Weakness

    Got questions or comments? Text them to me! This is part two of the "Strength in the Cracks" series — exploring vulnerability in leadership as a place of God's power, not human weakness. Why do we edit the "thorn" out of our bios? In this episode, Paul digs into 2 Corinthians 12 — Paul the apostle's thorn in the flesh, his three prayers for its removal, and God's answer: "My power is made perfect in weakness." This episode makes the case that weakness isn't an obstacle grace works around — it's the location where God's power actually shows up, and unpacks what that means for where leaders locate their confidence. What We Cover: Why our public bios and platforms only ever show the "strong" version of usA walkthrough of 2 Corinthians 12:1-10 — Paul's thorn, his three prayers, and God's responseThe difference between preaching this text as consolation versus what it actually claims as methodWhy Paul boasts in his weaknesses instead of just enduring themWhere leaders locate their confidence — in the thorn being removed, or in grace being sufficient with the thorn still thereAn important caveat: this isn't permission to avoid getting help for something you can actually work on Scripture Referenced: 2 Corinthians 12:1-10 — Paul's thorn in the flesh, and "My power is made perfect in weakness" Quotable Moments: "Weakness isn't the obstacle grace has to get around. It's the location where the power shows up.""That's not a consolation prize. That's a method.""Is your confidence built on the thorn being gone? Or is it built on grace being sufficient with the thorn still there?" This Week's Challenge: Name your thorn — not necessarily out loud to your congregation, but honestly to God. Not "fix this so I can lead better." Just: "here it is. Be sufficient here." Coming Up Next: Episode 3 gets practical with the neuroscience behind exposure vs. armor — what's actually happening in a leader's nervous system when they choose honesty over performance. About the Series: Strength in the Cracks is a mini-series exploring how pastors and leaders can experience vulnerability not as a liability to manage, but as a place where God's power shows up most clearly — drawn from Paul's ongoing D.Min. research in Spiritual Formation and Relational Neuroscience. Enjoyed this episode? Like and share it with another leader who needs to hear it — keep doing your best, and trust God with the rest. ⬇️  ⬇️  ⬇️  ⬇️  ⬇️ Thanks for listening to The Reluctant Leader Podcast with Paul Jenkins! Find me on Twitter, Facebook, and Instagram, and be sure to read the stuff I'm writing on my blog. Rather watch the video? Head over to The Reluctant Leader Podcast on my YouTube channel.

    TRLP 077: Power Made Perfect in Weakness

  6. Aug 11

    TRLP 076: Why the Bulletproof Pastor is a Myth

    Got questions or comments? Text them to me! We've been taught that strong leaders don't get shaken — they absorb the chaos, keep the smile on, and never let the cracks show. But is that strength, or just armor? In this episode, Paul kicks off a new series drawn from his doctoral research in Spiritual Formation and Relational Neuroscience, naming the myth of the "bulletproof pastor" and making the case that exposure — not invulnerability — might be exactly where God does his best work. What We Cover Why church culture quietly equates leadership maturity with emotional invulnerabilityHow Jesus modeled leadership through visible grief and honest exposure (Lazarus's tomb, Gethsemane)The apostle Paul's claim that God's power is "made perfect" in weakness — and why that's stronger than just "tolerating" struggleThe real cost of chasing the bulletproof-leader image — for your marriage, your staff, and your credibilityWhy "the crack in the armor isn't the leak — it's the opening" Scripture Referenced Mark 14:34 — "My soul is overwhelmed to the point of death" (Jesus to Peter, James, and John)John 11:35 — Jesus weeps at Lazarus's tomb2 Corinthians 12:9 — "My power is made perfect in weakness" Quotable Moments "Armor and strength are not the same thing.""The bulletproof pastor is a myth, and chasing it will cost you.""The crack in the armor isn't the leak. It's the opening." Coming Up Next Episode 2 digs into 2 Corinthians 12 — the theological foundation for the whole series. About the Series Strength in the Cracks is a mini-series exploring how pastors and leaders can experience vulnerability not as a liability to manage, but as a place where God's power shows up most clearly — drawn from Paul's ongoing D.Min. research in Spiritual Formation and Relational Neuroscience. ⬇️  ⬇️  ⬇️  ⬇️  ⬇️ Thanks for listening to The Reluctant Leader Podcast with Paul Jenkins! Find me on Twitter, Facebook, and Instagram, and be sure to read the stuff I'm writing on my blog. Rather watch the video? Head over to The Reluctant Leader Podcast on my YouTube channel.

    TRLP 076: Why the Bulletproof Pastor is a Myth

  7. Jul 14

    TRLP 075: A Tarot Reader Meets Jesus!

    Got questions or comments? Text them to me! Are we expecting Jesus to change lives as much as the people who are desperately searching for Him? In this episode of The Reluctant Leader Podcast, Paul reflects on the powerful story of blind Bartimaeus in Mark 10:46-52 and what it reveals about faith, desperation, and the surprising places where God is at work today. Using the recent testimony of a former TikTok tarot reader ("Alex Reads Tarot"), who publicly gave her life to Jesus and walked away from the occult, Paul explores a challenging question: Have those outside the church become more expectant than those inside it? Bartimaeus couldn't see Jesus—but he believed Jesus could change everything. While the crowd tried to silence him, Jesus stopped, called him forward, and restored his sight. What if the Church's greatest calling today isn't to quiet desperate people, but to encourage them to keep calling out to Jesus? In this episode: Why Bartimaeus' story still speaks to our cultural momentWhat recent conversion stories reveal about spiritual hungerHow disappointment can quietly erode our expectation of God's powerWhy desperate people have always been drawn to JesusHow followers of Jesus can become encouragers instead of gatekeepersKey Scripture: Mark 10:46-52 "Many rebuked him and told him to be quiet, but he shouted all the more, 'Son of David, have mercy on me!' Jesus stopped..." Memorable Quote: "Once, the church was desperate and the world was doubting. Today, it sometimes feels like the world is desperately searching while the church has quietly lowered its expectations." Reflection Questions: Who in your life have you quietly assumed is too far from God? What would it look like to believe that Jesus is still stopping for people who are desperately calling His name? ⬇️  ⬇️  ⬇️  ⬇️  ⬇️ Thanks for listening to The Reluctant Leader Podcast with Paul Jenkins! Find me on Twitter, Facebook, and Instagram, and be sure to read the stuff I'm writing on my blog. Rather watch the video? Head over to The Reluctant Leader Podcast on my YouTube channel.

  8. Jun 23

    TRLP 074: How to Deal with Distraction

    Got questions or comments? Text them to me! Dallas Willard once described Jesus with a word that feels almost impossible in today's world: relaxed. Not careless. Not disengaged. Not indifferent. Relaxed. Meanwhile, many of us feel pulled in a dozen different directions at once. Responsibilities, relationships, ministry, work, finances, notifications, expectations—the pressure is real. The Apostle Paul understood that pressure. He wrote that he faced the daily weight of concern for the churches (2 Corinthians 11:28). Yet beneath all of that responsibility was one clear focus: that Christ would be formed in God's people (Galatians 4:19). In this episode, we explore the connection between Paul's concern for the churches, Martha's distraction in Luke 10, and the invitation to return to the love of God as our primary anchor. Because the goal isn't to care less. It's to stop being pulled apart by everything that competes for our attention. When we truly believe we are loved by God, we discover the freedom to carry responsibility without being crushed by it. In This Episode: Why Dallas Willard described Jesus as "relaxed"The hidden meaning behind Paul's "daily concern" for the churchesHow distraction literally means being pulled in different directionsWhat Mary and Martha teach us about focus and formationWhy spiritual pressure is different from spiritual purposeThe question that may summarize the entire gospelMemorable Quote: "We don't overcome distraction by caring less. We overcome it by becoming anchored in the love of God." Reflection Question: What concern or responsibility has been pulling you in different directions lately—and what might change if you carried it from a place of being deeply loved by God rather than striving for His approval? ⬇️  ⬇️  ⬇️  ⬇️  ⬇️ Thanks for listening to The Reluctant Leader Podcast with Paul Jenkins! Find me on Twitter, Facebook, and Instagram, and be sure to read the stuff I'm writing on my blog. Rather watch the video? Head over to The Reluctant Leader Podcast on my YouTube channel.

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Throughout the years, I've come to believe two truths: one, everyone leads someone, and two, no one really feels qualified to lead anyone. Add the pressure put on us by culture to have all the answers in a world full of confusion, and you've got a recipe for reluctant leaders.Thankfully, when it comes to leading in the Bible and in life, the most qualified aren't always the most obvious. This podcast is a conversation for all of us who want to lead well but never feel like we are. New episodes are released on the 2nd and 4th Tuesdays of each month.

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