Stop Sabotaging Your Success

Cindy Esliger
  • 4.8 (4)
  • Careers
  • Updated Weekly

The podcast for ambitious, professional women who are tired of playing small and ready to overcome the invisible barriers that are holding us back at work.

  1. 1d ago

    229 - Dreaming Bigger When You're Surrounded By Small Thinkers

    Cindy Esliger examines what happens when we have a bigger vision for our career than our current work environment supports. Bold ideas can disappear into the ether when colleagues are more comfortable following the agenda, protecting the status quo, or doing things the same way they’ve always been done. Wanting to think outside the box is not a flaw, and Cindy points out that dreaming bigger is a practice, especially when fear, limited thinking, and workplace pressure make safety feel more responsible than possibility. Cindy identifies three fears that often shape career decisions: 1. Fear of failure, 2. Fear of rejection, and 3. Fear of instability. These fears are real, but they’re data instead of instructions to stop. Cindy contrasts safety-driven decisions, which ask what will keep us comfortable, with aligned decisions, which ask what we need to do the work we actually came to do. She encourages us to consult our future selves by asking three questions: 1. Who have we become?, 2. What did we have to let go of to get here, and 3. What is the one thing we would tell ourselves today that would save us two years of hesitation? Cindy also challenges us to get honest about what we truly want, without requiring a business case or immediate proof that it’s possible. When the answer feels buried, she offers four questions to help us uncover it: 1. If we already knew the answer, what would it be? 2. In a perfect world with no constraints on possibility, what would we want? 3. What is the thing we’ve always wanted but never said out loud, and 4. If nobody in our lives had an opinion about it, what would we do? Specific wants create something to plan around. The goal isn’t to wait for permission from small thinkers, but to deliberately seek out generous and curious people who are willing to think bigger, explore possibilities, and support meaningful career growth. Resources discussed in this episode: Guide to Dreaming Bigger Astronomic Audio Confidence Collective — Contact Cindy Esliger  Career Confidence Coaching: website | instagram | facebook | linkedin | email Hosted by Simplecast, an AdsWizz company. See pcm.adswizz.com for information about our collection and use of personal data for advertising.

    229 - Dreaming Bigger When You're Surrounded By Small Thinkers

  2. Jul 23

    228 - Accountability as Power, not Punishment

    Cindy Esliger explores why accountability has earned such a negative reputation and reframes it as one of the most empowering tools we can develop in our careers. Rather than treating accountability as punishment or as another way to criticize ourselves, she explains how it shifts our focus away from waiting for recognition and toward building confidence and control. In workplaces where expectations are often unclear and recognition is inconsistent, accountability becomes a way to reclaim personal power rather than relying on external validation. Cindy explains that many of us associate accountability with being harder on ourselves, admitting failure, or trying to earn recognition in systems that may never reward our efforts fairly. She distinguishes accountability from punishment by showing that accountability is forward-looking and rooted in growth, while punishment keeps us trapped in shame and self-criticism. She also explores how accountability applies not only to ourselves but also to creating clarity with others by setting expectations, documenting agreements, and encouraging follow-through. Cindy highlights how developing internal standards strengthens self-worth, improves decision-making, and helps us identify when to advocate for ourselves or move on from environments that no longer serve us. Cindy identifies five workplace warning signs that make healthy accountability difficult: 1. Vague expectations without clear deliverables, 2. Lack of consequences when others don’t deliver, 3. Credit stealing goes unnoticed, 4. Shifting goalposts, and 5. Isolation when we are the only woman or one of very few. She also shares five practical strategies for building accountability in an empowering way: 1. Control the controllables, 2. Take care of our foundation, 3. Make small controllable changes, 4. Create rituals and routines, and 5. Encourage accountability in others. Accountability is not about working harder for someone else's approval. It is about building the confidence, evidence, and self-trust to create the career you truly want. Resources discussed in this episode: Guide to Reclaiming Your Power Through Accountability Astronomic Audio Confidence Collective — Contact Cindy Esliger  Career Confidence Coaching: website | instagram | facebook | linkedin | email Hosted by Simplecast, an AdsWizz company. See pcm.adswizz.com for information about our collection and use of personal data for advertising.

    228 - Accountability as Power, not Punishment

  3. Jul 16

    227 - Overfunctioning is Killing Your Career

    Cindy Esliger looks into why being the most reliable, hardest-working person in the room can quietly become one of the biggest obstacles to career success. While overfunctioning often earns praise and makes us feel indispensable, it also keeps us trapped in tactical work and limits opportunities to develop the strategic thinking and leadership skills needed for career advancement. Cindy examines why the cycle of constantly fixing problems is so appealing, why it’s especially common for women in technical fields, and how tying self-worth to productivity creates an exhausting pattern that ultimately leads to burnout and career stagnation. Cindy explains how overfunctioning becomes self-reinforcing through perfectionism, expectation escalation, and the belief that constantly saying yes is what makes someone valuable. She outlines three major consequences of staying trapped in this pattern: 1. Burnout, 2. Career stagnation, and 3. Erosion of confidence. She also challenges several limiting beliefs, including the idea that boundaries are a sign of weakness, that being the gold-star employee leads to leadership, and that burnout is always a personal failure rather than a signal that something needs to change. Rather than focusing on what can’t be controlled, Cindy shares five practical strategies for starting small in breaking free from the overfunctioning trap: 1. Single-tasking as opposed to multitasking, 2. Set small boundaries when saying no, 3. Dedicate one hour per week to mental well-being and career reflection, 4. Create a system to manage workload that isn’t simply keeping everything in our heads, and 5. Audit internal standards regularly. By stepping away from playing the role of everyone else's safety net, we create space to lead more strategically, build genuine confidence, and pursue careers that are both successful and sustainable. Resources discussed in this episode: Guide to Breaking Free from the Overfunctioning Trap Astronomic Audio Confidence Collective — Contact Cindy Esliger  Career Confidence Coaching: website | instagram | facebook | linkedin | email Hosted by Simplecast, an AdsWizz company. See pcm.adswizz.com for information about our collection and use of personal data for advertising.

    227 - Overfunctioning is Killing Your Career

  4. Jul 9

    226 - Your Belief In Yourself Is Powerful

    Cindy Esliger explores the real cost of losing belief in ourselves and how self-doubt quietly limits career growth, especially for women in STEM and other male-dominated workplaces. Staying silent, downplaying achievements, and waiting for permission can feel like the safer path, but those choices create invisibility over time and prevent us from pursuing opportunities we’ve already earned. Cindy explains why self-confidence is not a fluffy concept but a critical skill for building a successful career. Drawing on the unique challenges women face in technical fields, Cindy explains how repeated microaggressions, vague feedback, and being overlooked can slowly erode confidence. She highlights six warning signs that lack of self-belief is costing us: 1. Asking permission instead of taking initiative, 2. Working harder and later than everyone else to prove worth, 3. Attributing success to luck, timing, or other people while owning every failure, 4. Staying quiet in meetings or minimizing ideas with apologies, 5. Declining opportunities because of feeling underqualified, and 6. Apologizing excessively even when nothing is wrong. She also challenges common beliefs that keep us stuck and explains the difference between confidence built on external evidence and self-confidence that comes from trusting ourselves. Cindy closes with four practical strategies to strengthen self-confidence from the inside out: 1. Understand the difference between confidence and self-confidence, 2. Use our voices effectively and powerfully, 3. Stop relying on other people’s belief in us, and 4. Manage our thoughts deliberately. Believing in ourselves is not about arrogance. It’s about trusting that we can handle whatever happens, continuing to take action despite uncertainty, and creating the career and life we truly want. Resources discussed in this episode: Guide to Reclaiming Your Self-Confidence Astronomic Audio Confidence Collective — Contact Cindy Esliger  Career Confidence Coaching: website | instagram | facebook | linkedin | email Hosted by Simplecast, an AdsWizz company. See pcm.adswizz.com for information about our collection and use of personal data for advertising.

    226 - Your Belief In Yourself Is Powerful

  5. Jul 2

    225 - Build Relationships to Create Opportunities

    In this episode of Stop Sabotaging Your Success, Cindy Esliger dives into why building professional relationships can feel uncomfortable, especially for women working in engineering, STEM, and other male-dominated environments. While technical competence matters, Cindy explains that career growth is also shaped by the informal networks we build through interaction. She discusses keeping everyone at arm’s length to protect professional credibility and becoming the person everyone relies on emotionally, showing how both extremes can limit career opportunities, making a case for true connection. Cindy shares six common pitfalls that quietly undermine our success: 1. confusing boundaries with walls, 2. becoming everyone’s person without receiving support in return, 3. dismissing connection as frivolous or unproductive, 4. showing up as all business and wondering why people think we’re cold, 5. Letting fear of seeming weak prevent us from being human, and 6. assuming others will not reciprocate our first offer of connection. She also reframes three limiting beliefs that keep many professionals isolated. Strength is not handling everything alone. Workplaces are not always unsafe for authentic connection. Enduring is not the same as thriving. Cindy then shares practical strategies for building stronger relationships. Cindy emphasizes that engaging with colleagues is not a distraction from the work. It’s part of the work. Strong professional relationships improve team dynamics, encourage innovation, create opportunities, and provide the reciprocal support needed to prevent burnout. She challenges listeners to begin with one simple action by asking a colleague a genuine question before their next meeting and listening with curiosity. Building meaningful professional relationships is a skill that grows with practice, and taking the first step can transform both career success and everyday work life. Resources discussed in this episode: Guide to Building Professional Connections Astronomic Audio Confidence Collective — Contact Cindy Esliger  Career Confidence Coaching: website | instagram | facebook | linkedin | email Hosted by Simplecast, an AdsWizz company. See pcm.adswizz.com for information about our collection and use of personal data for advertising.

    225 - Build Relationships to Create Opportunities

  6. Jun 25

    224 - Stop Trusting The Wrong People

    In this episode of Stop Sabotaging Your Success, Cindy Esliger explores a difficult truth about career growth: not everyone in a professional circle is invested in seeing someone succeed. She explains how women in engineering and other male-dominated workplaces can mistake politeness for genuine support, especially when supportive relationships feel scarce. Cindy challenges us to stop assuming that proximity equals loyalty and instead become intentional about who we trust, who we seek advice from, and who we allow to influence important career decisions. Cindy outlines how to see five warning signs that someone may not be the ally they appear to be: 1. Watch how people react to our wins, 2. Notice who only reaches out when they need something, 3. Pay attention to chronic interrupters and dismissals, 4. Watch what people do when we show vulnerability, and 5. Watch for the people who introduce us as one of the boys, not as unique. She also challenges several flawed beliefs that keep us stuck in unhelpful relationships, including the idea that any mentor is better than no mentor, that networking means being nice to everyone, and that toxic relationships should be maintained because they might be useful someday.  To build a stronger support system, Cindy encourages us to create a career board of directors intentionally made up of five key roles: 1. Cheerleaders, 2. Allies, 3. Mentors, 4. Advocates, and 5. Supporters. She also shares six practical strategies for evaluating current relationships, creating distance from energy-draining connections, building honest feedback loops, and ensuring a support network evolves alongside career goals. Her message is clear: a carefully curated inner circle is not just a nice-to-have. It can become a powerful competitive advantage. Resources discussed in this episode: Guide to Auditing Your Career Circle Astronomic Audio Confidence Collective — Contact Cindy Esliger  Career Confidence Coaching: website | instagram | facebook | linkedin | email Hosted by Simplecast, an AdsWizz company. See pcm.adswizz.com for information about our collection and use of personal data for advertising.

    224 - Stop Trusting The Wrong People

  7. Jun 18

    223 - Some Do Want You To Succeed Some Do Not

    In this episode of Stop Sabotaging Your Success, Cindy Esliger dives into an uncomfortable workplace reality: some people genuinely want to see us succeed, while others see us as a convenient stepping stone for their own advancement. She explains how many of us, especially women in male-dominated environments, are conditioned to be helpful and accommodating without questioning whether those relationships are reciprocal. Cindy discusses how misplaced loyalty, people-pleasing, and a lack of discernment lead us to invest valuable time and energy in relationships that drain our resources while advancing someone else's agenda. Cindy examines four limiting beliefs that keep us trapped in unhealthy workplace dynamics: 1. We should help everyone who asks because it’s the right thing to do. 2. If we’re too cautious about who we trust, we’ll seem paranoid or difficult. 3. We need to prove our worth by being selfless and accommodating. 4. Everyone is watching and judging us, so we can’t afford to be selective. She also shares six warning signs that someone may see us as a pawn rather than a valued colleague, including one-sided reciprocity, private support without public backing, credit and recognition issues, emotional manipulation, energy draining interactions, and gaslighting disguised as support. To help us build healthier professional relationships, Cindy outlines five overlooked insights. She encourages perspective taking, understanding the difference between commitment and compliance, paying attention to specific recognition, remembering that most people are focused on themselves, and recognizing that people get more of what they tolerate. She then details six practical strategies that help us focus on what we can control: 1. Develop a boundary script arsenal, 2. Address issues early, 3. Shift our self-talk, 4. Anticipate the testing of our boundaries, 5. Move beyond our fear of judgment, and 6. Follow through. Cindy challenges us to conduct an energy audit of our workplace relationships and invest intentionally in people who genuinely support our growth and long-term success. Resources discussed in this episode: Guide to Building Your Real Support System At Work Astronomic Audio Confidence Collective — Contact Cindy Esliger  Career Confidence Coaching: website | instagram | facebook | linkedin | email Hosted by Simplecast, an AdsWizz company. See pcm.adswizz.com for information about our collection and use of personal data for advertising.

    223 - Some Do Want You To Succeed Some Do Not

  8. Jun 11

    222 - Discomfort or Misalignment

    In this episode of Stop Sabotaging Your Success, Cindy Esliger explores why so many professionals achieve a goal only to immediately move the goalposts and focus on what is still not enough. She explains how productivity can become a form of self-soothing, especially in environments where recognition is scarce and we feel we need to constantly prove our value. Cindy examines the connection between achievement and self-worth, and why relying on external validation creates a cycle where success never feels satisfying. We need to learn to distinguish between productive discomfort and true misalignment. Productive discomfort signals growth and expansion into new territory, while misalignment feels like climbing a ladder that’s leaning against the wrong wall. Cindy challenges us to evaluate whether we’re pursuing goals that genuinely reflect our values or are simply chasing recognition that may never arrive. She also outlines five beliefs that keep us trapped in moving our own goalposts: 1. If we keep proving ourselves, we’ll finally be recognized, 2. Slowing down or setting boundaries will make us seem uncommitted, 3. We can’t afford to make mistakes or show vulnerability, 4. We need to do it all to prove we can handle it, and 5. Changing direction means we failed. Cindy outlines six workplace red flags that can normalize this pattern and seven practical strategies to regain control: 1. Design our own scorecard, 2. Distinguish between productive and performative work, 3. Set boundaries as strategic  career moves, 4. Channel anxiety into action, not affirmation, 5. Build selective vulnerability, 6. Create decision criteria for our career ladder before we pursue a new goal, and 7. Practice less control. Cindy’s message is that success should be measured by alignment with personal values, not by endlessly chasing validation. Sometimes the bravest career move is recognizing that a path no longer fits and giving ourselves permission to choose a different one.   Resources discussed in this episode: Guide to Recognizing When You're Moving Your Own Goalposts Astronomic Audio Confidence Collective — Contact Cindy Esliger  Career Confidence Coaching: website | instagram | facebook | linkedin | email Hosted by Simplecast, an AdsWizz company. See pcm.adswizz.com for information about our collection and use of personal data for advertising.

    222 - Discomfort or Misalignment
See All (230)

Trailer

4.8
out of 5
4 Ratings

About

The podcast for ambitious, professional women who are tired of playing small and ready to overcome the invisible barriers that are holding us back at work.

Information

  • Creator
    Cindy Esliger
  • Years Active
    2022 - 2026
  • Episodes
    230
  • Rating
    Clean
  • Copyright
    © 2026 Stop Sabotaging Your Success
  • Show Website
    Stop Sabotaging Your Success