Stop Sabotaging Your Success

Cindy Esliger
  • 4.8 (4)
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The podcast for ambitious, professional women who are tired of playing small and ready to overcome the invisible barriers that are holding us back at work.

  1. 209 - When Loyalty Becomes a Liability

    3D AGO

    209 - When Loyalty Becomes a Liability

    In this episode, Cindy explores the difficult but important truth that sometimes professional relationships that appear supportive are actually holding us back. She discusses how loyalty, especially in competitive or male-dominated industries, can quietly become a trap. As professionals, we pride ourselves on being dependable team players, but over time, that loyalty can keep us stuck in roles or environments that no longer align with who we’ve become. Instead of encouragement, we may receive concern or subtle pressure that discourages us from growing or taking risks, and keeps the status quo intact. Cindy unpacks how manipulation can hide behind mentorship or investment in someone’s success. When colleagues or mentors question our loyalty for considering new opportunities or frame our ambitions as risky or unrealistic, it can create self-doubt and hesitation. Cindy describes four real consequences of staying loyal and not making changes for ourselves: 1. Slow burn of resentment, 2. Erosion of self-trust, 3. Missing opportunities, and 4. Ending up in a state of high-functioning misery. Cindy discusses how to recognize when loyalty has crossed the line into liability and what we can do about it. She outlines key warning signs in professional relationships, offers strategies for setting boundaries around advice, and highlights ways to make career decisions based on alignment rather than guilt. Cindy emphasizes that growth often requires difficult conversations and the courage to choose a path others may not understand. Letting go of relationships that keep us playing small isn’t about ingratitude; it’s about honoring personal growth and trusting the ability to move forward. Resources discussed in this episode: Guide to Building Your Challenge Network Astronomic Audio Confidence Collective — Contact Cindy Esliger  Career Confidence Coaching: website | instagram | facebook | linkedin | email Hosted by Simplecast, an AdsWizz company. See pcm.adswizz.com for information about our collection and use of personal data for advertising.

    22 min
  2. 208 - You Need Challengers Not Just Cheerleaders

    MAR 5

    208 - You Need Challengers Not Just Cheerleaders

    In this episode, Cindy Esliger challenges the conventional advice that building a strong support network is essential for career success. While cheerleaders who validate our experiences and celebrate our wins are important, they can also unintentionally keep us stuck. When everyone around us agrees with our perspective, we risk creating an echo chamber, one that reinforces our frustrations without pushing us to try new strategies. Being “right” about workplace bias or systemic challenges doesn’t automatically move us closer to goals if our approach isn’t evolving. Cindy introduces the concept of a Challenge Network, a small group of thoughtful, invested people who care enough about our success to question our assumptions and expose blind spots. These are not critics who tear us down, but strategic thinkers who stretch perspectives. She outlines six practical steps to build and use this kind of network effectively: 1. Think like a scientist, 2. Assemble a challenge network intentionally, 3. Create distance from our own thinking, 4. Know when to rethink and when to commit, 5. Manage the identity shift, 6. Use feedback without becoming a people pleaser.  Ultimately, Cindy reframes confidence not as certainty in what we already know, but as confidence in our ability to learn. In male-dominated or complex workplaces, cognitive flexibility becomes a competitive advantage. The professionals who advance aren’t just talented, they’re willing to rethink their strategies when the evidence demands it. If we want to stop sabotaging our success, it may be time to surround ourselves with people who challenge us to grow, not just those who applaud us for staying the same. Resources discussed in this episode: Guide to Building Your Challenge Network Astronomic Audio Confidence Collective — Contact Cindy Esliger  Career Confidence Coaching: website | instagram | facebook | linkedin | email Hosted by Simplecast, an AdsWizz company. See pcm.adswizz.com for information about our collection and use of personal data for advertising.

    25 min

  3. FEB 26

    207 - Adapt or Get Left Behind

    In this episode, Cindy Esliger explores why adaptation is no longer optional in today’s workplace. Often, we double down on working harder, believing our results will eventually speak for themselves. Instead, we become boxed into narrow specialties while others move ahead into broader, more visible roles. Cindy explains how staying the same can quietly become the bigger risk, especially as industries evolve and organizations reward flexibility over loyalty to the status quo.    Cindy unpacks the hidden beliefs that keep us stuck, including the idea that it is too late to change or that permission must come from a boss or colleague. She explains that the costs of waiting are being pigeonholed and overlooked, or bored and undervalued. Rather than complaining or waiting for validation, she challenges us to take ownership of our growth and stop sacrificing our evolution to keep others comfortable. Adaptive thinking is a learnable skill that can transform a career. Adaptive thinkers stay curious and revise their opinions when new information emerges; they’re able to take action before they feel fully ready. Cindy shares practical ways to build this mindset, from asking better questions to embracing discomfort as part of growth. The message is clear. We are not stuck. We have agency. The real question is whether we are willing to adapt and take the first step toward the careers we actually want. Resources discussed in this episode: Guide to Adaptive Thinking in Your Career Astronomic Audio Confidence Collective — Contact Cindy Esliger  Career Confidence Coaching: website | instagram | facebook | linkedin | email Hosted by Simplecast, an AdsWizz company. See pcm.adswizz.com for information about our collection and use of personal data for advertising.

    27 min
  4. 206 - Thriving When You're The Only One

    FEB 19

    206 - Thriving When You're The Only One

    In this episode, Cindy Esliger dives into what it’s like being the only woman in a room full of men, and the unique challenges that present to our careers. When there’s no other woman, it creates a kind of professional loneliness that’s hard to explain. But worse, with nobody like us to gauge our progress against, compare notes with, and validate our experiences, we end up isolated and self-doubting. Cindy gets into how to celebrate our own progress even when we have nobody to reflect it back to us, and why creating a community outside our work is a necessity for success. Being the only woman, or one of very few, in a workplace often means our feedback ranges from vague to contradictory. We’re told we’re doing great, but aren’t promoted. We’re told to speak up, but when we do, we’re labeled aggressive. Without a support system to validate these experiences and help us remember our strengths, we second-guess ourselves and miss out on opportunities for growth. Cindy explores what validation really means and how to get it for ourselves when we’re alone in an organization.  There are ways to make things easier on ourselves, to focus on what we can control and define our own success. Cindy outlines them in five points: 1. Find and create community outside our organization, 2. Turn vague feedback into a growth opportunity, 3. Create our own developmental roadmap, 4. Recenter ourselves with personal metrics for success, 5. Learn from others without diminishing ourselves, 6. Build resilience by focusing on becoming stronger, and 7. Consistent actions build momentum. We have the power to define success on our own terms and make our own growth opportunities even when we’re alone. Resources discussed in this episode: Guide to Thriving When You're The Only OneAstronomic AudioConfidence Collective— Contact Cindy Esliger  Career Confidence Coaching: website | instagram | facebook | linkedin | email Hosted by Simplecast, an AdsWizz company. See pcm.adswizz.com for information about our collection and use of personal data for advertising.

    19 min
  5. 205 - You Don't Notice Your Growth Until Someone Points It Out

    FEB 12

    205 - You Don't Notice Your Growth Until Someone Points It Out

    Cindy Esliger addresses the reality that we often fail to recognize our own growth and why that matters to our careers. Our brains are wired to overlook wins, and Cindy explores why this is, as well as what cognitive biases are eroding our confidence. When we can’t see our own progress, we tend to focus on our perceived failures and don’t hold onto praise as long as we hold onto negativity. Why this impacts our careers and what strategies we can use to retrain our brains to notice our growth are the key things Cindy shares in this episode. If we can’t see how much we grow, we lose faith in our own ability to take the next big step in our careers. Cindy outlines five big consequences of being blind to our progress: 1. Erosion of self-trust, 2. Being stuck in imposter syndrome, 3. Setting ourselves up for burnout and resentment, 4. Missing opportunities, and 5. Damaging our professional reputation. There is a real cost that we need to avoid by breaking the cycle of downplaying our achievements and missing our own development. Cindy shares what to look for in ourselves to identify our need to pause and take stock. Simply identifying that we dismiss praise and compliments is not enough, however. We need to take actionable steps to retrain our brains so we can build self-trust and accept our own achievements. The practical strategies Cindy advises are: 1. Keep a progress file or brag folder, 2. Set up quarterly check-ins on our past selves versus our present selves, 3. Practice evidence-based self-talk, 4. Celebrate small wins in real time, and 5. Reframe ‘not enough’ as ‘not yet’. We’ve come farther than we think, and Cindy wants us to build up the habit of owning our accomplishments.  Resources discussed in this episode: Guide to Tracking Your GrowthAstronomic AudioConfidence Collective— Contact Cindy Esliger  Career Confidence Coaching: website | instagram | facebook | linkedin | email Hosted by Simplecast, an AdsWizz company. See pcm.adswizz.com for information about our collection and use of personal data for advertising.

    23 min
  6. 204 - One Chance to Make a First Impression

    FEB 5

    204 - One Chance to Make a First Impression

    Cindy Esliger unpacks the reality about first impressions and how they can quietly make or break a professional trajectory at work. While we tell ourselves that what’s on the inside is what matters, the uncomfortable truth about first impressions can’t be ignored. In a work setting, the way we carry ourselves, our posture, expression, and even choice of clothing can all determine how seriously we are taken. Cindy explores the subtle cues we may send without realizing it, the consequences of neglecting our professional presence, and shares strategies for taking back control without acting.      It’s simply a fact that it takes less than 30 seconds for people to form opinions about us based solely on a first glance. That’s not enough time to say hello or learn anything about us. So neglecting how we present ourselves can have long-term consequences. Cindy outlines five of those consequences when we ignore how we are perceived: 1. We get underestimated, 2. We get overlooked, 3. We get misunderstood, 4. We send mixed signals, and 5. We miss our chance to connect if we’re closed off.  Everything from our posture and facial expressions contributes to first impressions. Body language is a key part of communication. We want to be authentic, but aware of how we are seen. Do we fidget? Avoid eye contact? Dress to hide? Cindy shares five strategies for refining our presence: 1. Start with one small change, 2. Let our clothes work for us, not against us, 3. Use eye contact, posture, and a smile as tools, 4. Use our hands with purpose, and 5. Don’t perform confidence, build it.  Resources discussed in this episode: Guide to Making A Powerful First ImpressionAstronomic AudioConfidence Collective— Contact Cindy Esliger  Career Confidence Coaching: website | instagram | facebook | linkedin | email Hosted by Simplecast, an AdsWizz company. See pcm.adswizz.com for information about our collection and use of personal data for advertising.

    17 min
  7. 203 - Always Ready For a Fight

    JAN 29

    203 - Always Ready For a Fight

    Cindy Esliger addresses defensiveness at work, that tendency that some of us have to walk into work already braced for a fight. We assume criticism is coming even when it isn’t and tend to perceive questions directed at us as personal attacks. We probably don’t even realize we’re doing it. Cindy breaks down why we assume a defensive posture and how to identify those patterns, and she shows what it looks like to shift from reacting to responding. Ultimately, self-awareness is a much more powerful tool than justifying and deflecting.     Heading into work on the defensive isn’t a case of everything being wrong at all times, but it is often a learned behavior. We’re always bracing ourselves for criticism as a survival strategy. But it’s mentally exhausting and can be a career liability. Cindy describes five common risks we encounter when our default is defensiveness: 1. Damaged relationships, 2. Missed learning opportunities, 3. Reinforcing negative perceptions and stereotypes of women in male-dominated spaces, 4. Emotional overload, and 5. Stalled career progress.  Cindy explains that shifting from defensive reacting to actual responding can take time, and we often mistake compliance for commitment. Compliance means doing what we’re told just because we have to. Many of us fear that. But commitment means doing things because we believe in them. That’s our goal. Cindy offers five practical ways to help us shift out of defensive mode: 1. Before any high-stakes conversation, breathe, 2. Ask reflective questions in real time, 3. Create a pause buffer between emotion and reaction, 4. Name the emotion, and 5. Choose curiosity over certainty. It’s time to lay down our armor and be intentional about our presence at work.  Resources discussed in this episode: Guide to Letting Go of DefensivenessAstronomic AudioConfidence Collective— Contact Cindy Esliger  Career Confidence Coaching: website | instagram | facebook | linkedin | email Hosted by Simplecast, an AdsWizz company. See pcm.adswizz.com for information about our collection and use of personal data for advertising.

    16 min
  8. 202 - What It's Really Like to Work With You

    JAN 22

    202 - What It's Really Like to Work With You

    Cindy Esliger discusses the difference between being good at our jobs and being easy to work with in this episode. Self-awareness is the key to career growth, and it’s not just about knowing our strengths or how we like to work. It’s about understanding how our behavior impacts others and how we’re perceived. Cindy breaks down exactly what true self-awareness looks like and why it matters more than ever. The value of accepting feedback and being easy to work with are things many of us underestimate, but which will open more doors in the long run.     There are two types of people in the world: those who think they’re self-aware and those who actually are. Those who only think they are tend not to have any idea of the impact of their actions on others. Behavior blindness is real. Cindy outlines five unpleasant consequences of not paying attention to what it’s like to work with ourselves: 1. Stalled career growth, 2. Damaged relationships, 3. Lack of critical feedback, 4. Reputational damage, and 5. Missed opportunities. If we want people to want to work with us, we have to make it a painless experience. Being easy to work with involves following instructions, being on time, and not making things harder than they should be. External self-awareness, knowing how we’re perceived, is just as important as internal self-awareness and knowing ourselves. Cindy shares five strategies to make self-awareness easier to build: 1. Compare perceptions with actual outcomes, 2. Ask for feedback early and often, 3. Be coachable, 4. Challenge our assumptions, and 5. Practice perspective-taking. We have the power to build reputations that open doors and make people want to work with us.  Resources discussed in this episode: Guide to Understanding Your ImpactAstronomic AudioConfidence Collective— Contact Cindy Esliger  Career Confidence Coaching: website | instagram | facebook | linkedin | email Hosted by Simplecast, an AdsWizz company. See pcm.adswizz.com for information about our collection and use of personal data for advertising.

    14 min
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About

The podcast for ambitious, professional women who are tired of playing small and ready to overcome the invisible barriers that are holding us back at work.

Information

  • Creator
    Cindy Esliger
  • Years Active
    2022 - 2026
  • Episodes
    210
  • Rating
    Clean
  • Copyright
    © 2026 Stop Sabotaging Your Success
  • Show Website
    Stop Sabotaging Your Success