The Grit Podcast: with Dr. Ben Peery

Ben Peery MD
  • 4.9 (39)
  • MEDICINE
  • UPDATED WEEKLY

A series of discussions with front line responders about trauma and mental health.

  1. 02/27/2025

    Episode 79: The 20-Year War

    I speak with Josh Moore, combat Marine, former SWAT and law enforcement officer with Orange County Police Department, husband and father of two young girls and head of sales of a tech startup company called INVI Mindhealth™.  Josh and I formed a friendship over the past year when I joined INVI as their medical director.  I first heard Josh's story as he spoke last summer in front of a large SWAT audience, recounting a series of horrific firefights at a forward operating base in Afghanistan, where he suffered the loss of two of his friends Geno Mills and Hunter Hogan.  Josh joins us to share his full story, from leaving home after high school, graduation from the Marine Corps, and deployment to Afghanistan in 2012.  During the months of deployment, he details the ominous buildup of enemy forces around their outpost culminating in a sudden series of ambushes against an overwhelming force.  With terrifying granularity, he describes each crystalized second of the attack, enemy bullets snapping over his head, returning machine gun fire to protect his team mates, and how in the span of 3 minutes, his platoon was nearly overrun and Geno Mills was mortally wounded.  Then, already reeling from grief, the following day, while leading his platoon on patrol, Josh and his team are attacked again, and Hunter Hogan was killed by sniper fire. Josh was 19 years old.  The ghosts of that deployment in Afghanistan haunted him, and struggling with severe depression, Josh left the Marine Corps.  He tried to balance reentry into the civilian world, a young family, and a new career in law enforcement and SWAT.  But like so many veterans of combat, Josh fought a 20-year war with PTSD, depression and substance dependence.  His incredible narrative is a journey of loss, reckoning, and ultimately of healing.   Thanks for listening to and supporting our podcast!  Please follow the podcast in Instagram: @thegritwithdrbenpeery Please reach out to with any feedback to: @drben0636 on Instagram. Check out these resources from previous podcast guests for assistance with tracking your mental health, and reaching out for therapeutic assistance: 1. Jonathan Wilson and INVI MindHealth™ have developed an App using smart watch technology to track your daily mental health and wellness: https://www.invimh.com/ You can check out Jonathan's episode as a guest on the Shawn Ryan Show podcast here: https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/shawn-ryan-show/id1492492083?i=1000646864307   2. From Raul Rivas and his Trauma Behind the Badge podcast episode he shared the online resource therapy resource: https://www.lighthousehw.org/ Available on the App Store or on Google Play.  Lighthouse Health & Wellness is an in-hand, on-demand, 100% confidential health and wellness platform available at no cost to our nation's public safety agencies. Lighthouse was designed to provide your employees and their families anonymous access to your agency's existing health and wellness programs, along with a growing library of the latest educational health and wellness information and tools that have been tailored to the unique needs of those working in public safety. 3.  Please support Spike's K9 Fund helping the training, care and preservation of working dogs: https://spikesk9fund.org/?gclid=Cj0KCQiAo7KqBhDhARIsAKhZ4uji-HOepJMLAJF8H96Ncth_rySZeZXBt7bc1TtS2czEo_vOwpba9acaAv81EALw_wcB

    2h 28m

  2. 01/31/2025

    Episode 78: Here Comes Easy

    This is an episode with two hunting friends, local law enforcement officer Cam Daniels and financial advisor Matt Cova.  We recap our elk hunting season, from the planning, strategy, tactics to the deep relationships we share with our hunting partners.  Cam and Matt discuss harvesting a bull elk this November that Cam killed in the deep Colorado backcountry and called Matt late in the day to help him, and what that whole process entailed.  We discuss the pact that we share during hunting season- willing to drop everything, grab a pack filled with survival gear, drive into a winter snowstorm, hike into a deep canyon to help each other process and bushwack out with 100 lb of elk meat on our backs.  We reflect on the imperative of friendship, trust and resilience and how the saturation of our lives with stressors must be counterbalanced by grounding elements.  There is something deeply impactful about how we feel transformed and cleansed by chasing elk with a bow or rifle, the austerity, concentration, and ancient connection with our ancestors and how we regret when the hunt finally ends and we must step back into our comfortable worlds.     Thanks for listening to and supporting our podcast!  Please follow the podcast in Instagram: @thegritwithdrbenpeery Please reach out to with any feedback to: @drben0636 on Instagram. Check out these resources from previous podcast guests for assistance with tracking your mental health, and reaching out for therapeutic assistance: 1. Jonathan Wilson and INVI MindHealth have developed an App using smart watch technology to track your daily mental health wellness: https://www.invimh.com/ 2. From Raul Rivas and his Trauma Behind the Badge podcast episode he shared the inline resource therapy resource: https://www.lighthousehw.org/ Available on the App Store or on Google Play.  Lighthouse Health & Wellness is an in-hand, on-demand, 100% confidential health and wellness platform available at no cost to our nation's public safety agencies. Lighthouse was designed to provide your employees and their families anonymous access to your agency's existing health and wellness programs, along with a growing library of the latest educational health and wellness information and tools that have been tailored to the unique needs of those working in public safety. Please support Spike's K9 Fund helping the training, care and preservation of working dogs: https://spikesk9fund.org/?gclid=Cj0KCQiAo7KqBhDhARIsAKhZ4uji-HOepJMLAJF8H96Ncth_rySZeZXBt7bc1TtS2czEo_vOwpba9acaAv81EALw_wcB   Follow Doc Askins' podcast, purchase his book and join his Anti-Hero Journey: https://www.antiherosjourney.com/podcast/episode/2806cc05/dr-matthew-wall-phd-mri-rock-star   1

    1h 59m
  3. Episode 77: Letting Go

    01/09/2025

    Episode 77: Letting Go

    Thrilled to be back sharing podcasts with you all! I reflect on stepping away from the podcast, the processes of reflection, seeking validation and letting go.  I am deeply grateful to my guests and listeners for their constant support, and cannot wait for this year's lineup of amazing people, bravely sharing their insights.  We walk this road together. Thanks for listening to and supporting our podcast!  Please follow the podcast in Instagram: @thegritwithdrbenpeery Please reach out to with any feedback to: @drben0636 on Instagram. Check out these resources from previous podcast guests for assistance with tracking your mental health, and reaching out for therapeutic assistance: 1. Jonathan Wilson and INVI MindHealth have developed an App using smart watch technology to track your daily mental health wellness: https://www.invimh.com/ 2. From Raul Rivas and his Trauma Behind the Badge podcast episode he shared the inline resource therapy resource: https://www.lighthousehw.org/ Available on the App Store or on Google Play.  Lighthouse Health & Wellness is an in-hand, on-demand, 100% confidential health and wellness platform available at no cost to our nation's public safety agencies. Lighthouse was designed to provide your employees and their families anonymous access to your agency's existing health and wellness programs, along with a growing library of the latest educational health and wellness information and tools that have been tailored to the unique needs of those working in public safety.

    31 min
  4. Episode 76: The Inner Army

    05/09/2024

    Episode 76: The Inner Army

    Dr. Sudip Bose joins us, ED physician, Iraq war combat veteran, medical director, professor and entrepreneur to share his insights about the experience of going to war as a doctor.  Sudip reflects on how he managed the strain of his work under enemy fire by focusing on a powerful voice that he calls his "inner army." That voice stepped into the half-space between fear and action to help him complete his mission of saving lives.  We discuss mental health, and the paradox in the first responder and military communities of focusing on post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD) as the expected outcome of the work, while ignoring the isolation that is the root of depression and suicide.  Dr. Bose is featured in a new Amazon Prime TV series about working as an ED doctor in a busy West Texas trauma center called "Desert Doc."  The show highlights his journey from the deserts of Iraq to the desert background of Odessa, Texas and blends video from his combat deployments with the incredible footage of actual emergencies in one of the busiest trauma centers in the US.  Sudip talks about the imperative of seeking balance, de-emphasizing outcomes, finding happiness in habituation and focusing on the broader mission of helping others to balance stress.   Please enjoy the trailer for the new Amazon TV series "Desert Doc" featuring Dr. Sudip Bose and watch full episodes to support his front line work! https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WTcJPmhwpCc Thanks for listening to and supporting our podcast!  Please follow the podcast in Instagram: @thegritwithdrbenpeery Please reach out to with any feedback to: @drben0636 on Instagram. Check out these resources from previous podcast guests for assistance with tracking your mental health, and reaching out for therapeutic assistance: 1. Jonathan Wilson and INVI MindHealth have developed an App using smart watch technology to track your daily mental health wellness: https://www.invimh.com/ 2. From Raul Rivas and his Trauma Behind the Badge podcast episode he shared the inline resource therapy resource: https://www.lighthousehw.org/ Available on the App Store or on Google Play.  Lighthouse Health & Wellness is an in-hand, on-demand, 100% confidential health and wellness platform available at no cost to our nation's public safety agencies. Lighthouse was designed to provide your employees and their families anonymous access to your agency's existing health and wellness programs, along with a growing library of the latest educational health and wellness information and tools that have been tailored to the unique needs of those working in public safety.   Please support Spike's K9 Fund helping the training, care and preservation of working dogs: https://spikesk9fund.org/?gclid=Cj0KCQiAo7KqBhDhARIsAKhZ4uji-HOepJMLAJF8H96Ncth_rySZeZXBt7bc1TtS2czEo_vOwpba9acaAv81EALw_wcB   You can find Jimmy Hatch's incredible book Touching the Dragon here and on Amazon: https://spikesk9fund.org/products/touching-the-dragon-and-other-techniques-for-surviving-lifes-wars https://www.amazon.com/Touching-Dragon-Other-Techniques-Surviving-ebook/dp/B0755ZYGRK

    1h 5m

  5. 04/19/2024

    Episode 75: Extrication

    George Gjersfold is a veteran firefighter and engineer, lifeguard and movie set safety officer who reflects on years of service in the chaos of urban Los Angeles.  George reflects on an incredible array of lifeguard and fire service work and the accumulated scars, from the tragic loss of his mother to suicide while working a shift, to the horrific traumatic death of an infant.  SHADE is a firefighter mneumonic for how George learned to approach an emergency which stands for: Stabilization, Hazard, Access/Assist, Disentanglement and Extrication, and became a mantra for surviving his work as a first responder.  But, a threat assesment mindset also creates endless hypervigilance which can impact our life outside of the work.  George shares how by staying connected, imbedding small spiritual rituals and focusing on gratitude, he learned how to extricate himself from that hypervigilance and years of imbedded trauma.      Thanks for listening to and supporting our podcast!  Please follow the podcast in Instagram: @thegritwithdrbenpeery Please reach out to with any feedback to: @drben0636 on Instagram. Check out these resources from previous podcast guests for assistance with tracking your mental health, and reaching out for therapeutic assistance: 1. Jonathan Wilson and INVI MindHealth have developed an App using smart watch technology to track your daily mental health wellness: https://www.invimh.com/ 2. From Raul Rivas and his Trauma Behind the Badge podcast episode he shared the inline resource therapy resource: https://www.lighthousehw.org/ Available on the App Store or on Google Play.  Lighthouse Health & Wellness is an in-hand, on-demand, 100% confidential health and wellness platform available at no cost to our nation's public safety agencies. Lighthouse was designed to provide your employees and their families anonymous access to your agency's existing health and wellness programs, along with a growing library of the latest educational health and wellness information and tools that have been tailored to the unique needs of those working in public safety. Follow Doc Askins' podcast, purchase his book and join his Anti-Hero Journey in the exploration of mental resiliency: https://www.antiherosjourney.com/podcast/episode/2806cc05/dr-matthew-wall-phd-mri-rock-star Please support Spike's K9 Fund helping the training, care and preservation of working dogs: https://spikesk9fund.org/?gclid=Cj0KCQiAo7KqBhDhARIsAKhZ4uji-HOepJMLAJF8H96Ncth_rySZeZXBt7bc1TtS2czEo_vOwpba9acaAv81EALw_wcB

    1h 13m

  6. 03/23/2024

    Episode 74: Backburn

    With flames from a massive forest fire closing in, young volunteer firefighter Zach Holmes and his partner lay down in the ashes of their backburn, certain that they were going to die.  What does it feel like to face your own death as a first responder?  Zach takes us through the incredible experience of how he survived this fire.  During a 14-year career as a paramedic and firefighter with Cheney Fire Department, Zach faced two more near-death experiences.  But his survival had just begun. First responders, front line workers and military veterans are asked to place themselves in imminent danger all the time, often sacrificing their own safety to save the lives of those they are asked to serve.  Such a sacrifice comes at an immense cost, as these men and women suffer severe depression, PTSD and substance use disorder.  With bravery and deep insight, Zach guides us through his own healing journey from severe PTSD.  As a single father of four, he realized he was reacting with irrational anger with his children and in a deep crisis.  He tried unsuccessfully to seek therapy and finally in desperation, called his Battalion Chief for help.  Together, they were able to locate a support group of other fire fighters and police officers who met regularly with a trauma-base therapist.  In that safe environment, Zach began to heal.  Zach and I discuss how first responders often suppress their mental health decline, and the imperative of reaching out for help before it is too late.   Thanks for listening to and supporting our podcast!  Please follow the podcast in Instagram: @thegritwithdrbenpeery Please reach out to with any feedback to: @drben0636 on Instagram. Check out these resources from previous podcast guests for assistance with tracking your mental health, and reaching out for therapeutic assistance: 1. Jonathan Wilson and INVI MindHealth have developed an App using smart watch technology to track your daily mental health wellness: https://www.invimh.com/ 2. From Raul Rivas and his Trauma Behind the Badge podcast episode he shared the inline resource therapy resource: https://www.lighthousehw.org/ Available on the App Store or on Google Play.  Lighthouse Health & Wellness is an in-hand, on-demand, 100% confidential health and wellness platform available at no cost to our nation's public safety agencies. Lighthouse was designed to provide your employees and their families anonymous access to your agency's existing health and wellness programs, along with a growing library of the latest educational health and wellness information and tools that have been tailored to the unique needs of those working in public safety. 3. Survive First is a 501(c)3 nonprofit organization, whose mission is to assist active duty and retired first responders and families who need mental health support from the impact of Post Traumatic Stress Disorder, depression, and substance abuse.  https://survivefirst.us/get-help/

    2h 29m

  7. 03/11/2024

    Episode 73: Dropping In

    I am headed back to work as an Emergency Physician after a 2-year hiatus and discuss some of the interventions that have made that possible.  I recount what it felt like on my first shift, and how dropping in on a difficult airway case reminded me that some things never change. I discuss numerous adaptations I made to my mindset, diet, daily practices and spiritual homeostasis to be able to return to work.  I review how psychedilics, trauma-based therapy, and supplements have been helpful as healing tools along with the absolute imperatives of imbedding gentleness, gratitude and connection in my life.   Thanks for listening to and supporting our podcast!  Please follow the podcast in Instagram: @thegritwithdrbenpeery Please reach out to with any feedback to: @drben0636 on Instagram. Check out these resources from previous podcast guests for assistance with tracking your mental health, and reaching out for therapeutic assistance: 1. Jonathan Wilson and INVI MindHealth have developed an App using smart watch technology to track your daily mental health wellness: https://www.invimh.com/ Please listen to Joinathan's incredible story on the Shawn Ryan Show- he reveals deep insights about his mental health struggles and mission to bring objective measurement of mental health to the veteran and first responder communities.  The episode is imbedded here: https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/shawn-ryan-show/id1492492083?i=1000646864307 2. From Raul Rivas and his Trauma Behind the Badge podcast episode he shared the inline resource therapy resource: https://www.lighthousehw.org/ Available on the App Store or on Google Play.  Lighthouse Health & Wellness is an in-hand, on-demand, 100% confidential health and wellness platform available at no cost to our nation's public safety agencies. Lighthouse was designed to provide your employees and their families anonymous access to your agency's existing health and wellness programs, along with a growing library of the latest educational health and wellness information and tools that have been tailored to the unique needs of those working in public safety.

    50 min

  8. 02/22/2024

    Episode 72: Chasing Falcons

    I speak with Dr Kurt Pappenfus, rural emergency medicine physician, about his amazing 35-year medical career and adventures as an alpine expedition physician, medical team leader on a movie set, and master falconeer.  Kurt has worked in austere environments all over the world, from the peaks of the Himalayas and Alps, to the windswept mountains and plains of the American West, and shares his insights about the unique challenges of rural medicine.  In 2019, Kurt and his wife settled in Cheyenne Wells, on Colorado's Eastern plains where he worked as one of the only physicians caring for farming community patients across hundreds of square miles.  In 2020, Kurt was stricken with COVID pneumonia, and battled back from a prolonged ICU hospitalization with COVID pneumonia in 2020 and subsequent long-COVID syndrome.  The impact of his absence from the Cheyenne Wells community was deeply felt and highlights how much rural America depends on sparse medical resources and a dedicated medical corps.  Kurt has returned to his rural practice, and we talk about the imperatives of embracing gratitude, connectivity and spending time in the natural world for preserving longevity in medicine.  Dr Pappenfus' story and recovery from COVID was covered by NPR:  https://www.npr.org/2020/12/01/940697524/the-ripple-effect-of-1-rural-colorado-doctor-catching-the-coronavirus Thanks for listening to and supporting our podcast!  Please follow the podcast in Instagram: @thegritwithdrbenpeery Please reach out to with any feedback to: @drben0636 on Instagram. Check out these resources from previous podcast guests for assistance with tracking your mental health, and reaching out for therapeutic assistance: 1. Jonathan Wilson and INVI MindHealth have developed an App using smart watch technology to track your daily mental health wellness: https://www.invimh.com/ 2. From Raul Rivas and his Trauma Behind the Badge podcast episode he shared the inline resource therapy resource: https://www.lighthousehw.org/ Available on the App Store or on Google Play.  Lighthouse Health & Wellness is an in-hand, on-demand, 100% confidential health and wellness platform available at no cost to our nation's public safety agencies. Lighthouse was designed to provide your employees and their families anonymous access to your agency's existing health and wellness programs, along with a growing library of the latest educational health and wellness information and tools that have been tailored to the unique needs of those working in public safety.

    1h 7m
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A series of discussions with front line responders about trauma and mental health.

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