Thrive While Loving an Addict | Addiction | Sobriety | Recovery | Relapse

KL Wells
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More than 50% of American families have a loved one or close relative who is an addict or alcoholic. Although there are ample resources to help these individuals recover, their families suffer, too. Parents, spouses, children, and friends need help navigating this unexpected, challenging disease. Welcome to Thrive While Loving an Addict with KL Wells. She brings together loved ones and family members of addicts and alcoholics. Their insights and perspectives create a community of healing, connecting, and rebuilding. While your addict may be working hard to make themselves better, you may feel left behind to face a different kind of battle. The negative stigma of having a loved one as an addict causes a lot of pain. How are you dealing with loneliness, fear, and shame? There are quick fixes for these difficult moments in your life. Now you can get real and raw advice from people who are walking and dealing with the path you’re on. This podcast highlights the vulnerable and courageous voices of these families. Listen to real-life stories of people who have addicted loved ones, and discover how they addressed the hardships. Also, hear the experiences of recovering addicts that share what is, and isn't, working in their journey towards healing. Gather useful tools and practical advice to alleviate your own journey by delving into these touching and inspiring stories. Contemplate what may not be working, and discover what it takes to face the challenges along the way. This podcast offers a safe platform for the loved ones of addicts. Rise to the challenge, and become a key player in being a part of this fresh community. There are also episodes that will widen your knowledge about addiction recovery. Get educated by real life experiences of people who reveal their journey to help addicts and alcoholics jump back on their feet. In addition to breaking down their practice, they bring a glimmer of hope for what can be done for individuals who may have given up on themselves. KL Wells is a community leader and influential speaker who led initiatives with senior executives, trustees, and board directors of various non-profit organizations. For more than twenty years, she focused on empowering leaders to create extraordinary human impact. Spending time with these people inspired her to do more, and start the company Voices InCourage. Most importantly, KL understands how painful it is to have an addicted loved one. She was married to an alcoholic, her current partner is recovering from alcohol addiction, and her son is an active addict. The mission of this podcast is not just advocacy. It hits very close to home to KL. Her reflections as a wife and mother are something you should not miss. Seeing your loved ones pulled down by drugs and alcohol is truly heartbreaking. As a result, you may feel miserable and isolated. You also have to deal with negative opinions from others, and it is up to you to fend for yourself. Nobody deserves to be treated this way. No one should go through this challenging episode of life alone. This is what KL offers in this podcast: the strength to move forward and guidance to have the courage to change. If you have the courage to use your voice, you can become an inspiration for your friend, spouse, parent, or child as they overcome their addictive behavior. Ultimately, it’s about transforming the lives of loved ones from surviving to thriving in the midst of chaos. Listen to Thrive While Loving an Addict with KL Wells at https://voicesincourage.com/podcast.

  1. 1d ago

    Can You Grieve the Child You Lost and Still Feel Joy?

    Can you experience the heartbreak of losing a child and still find moments of genuine joy? Five months after losing his daughter, Alana, Sal Guarino is learning to live with a truth that many people struggle to understand: grief and joy don't have to exist separately. He can feel the pain of losing his daughter while also feeling immense gratitude for who she was and the life they shared. But Sal's story goes far beyond grief. Having spent decades navigating gambling addiction, family trauma, and recovery, he understands what it means to lose yourself in something you cannot control and what it takes to find your way back. In this deeply personal conversation, KL Wells and Sal explore the complicated emotions of loving someone through addiction, the courage it takes to step back without abandoning them, and the possibility of finding connection, gratitude, and joy even in life's most painful moments. Episode Summary What happens when grief and joy show up at the same time? And how do you continue living fully when addiction has touched nearly every generation of your family? In this episode of Thrive While Loving an Addict, KL Wells welcomes Sal Guarino, a recovery advocate, gambling addiction survivor, and father navigating the recent loss of his daughter, Alana. Growing up in a close Italian-American family in Brooklyn, Sal was surrounded by gambling from an early age. His father struggled with sports betting, and by 15, Sal had developed his own gambling addiction. Although he attended his first Gamblers Anonymous meeting at 18, it would take decades of relapse, reflection, and personal growth before he fully committed to recovery in his mid-40s. Sal shares the turning points that changed his relationship with gambling, including a brief relapse that revealed addiction was never simply about financial consequences. He describes how addiction acts like a dimmer switch, gradually reducing your connection to relationships, purpose, and the things that once brought meaning to your life. The conversation also explores profound personal loss. Sal reflects on the murder of his oldest brother when he was just 20 and the recent death of his daughter, Alana, a gifted flute player who had struggled with substance use and mental health challenges. About a year before Alana died in a bicycle accident, Sal made the difficult decision to stop pursuing her while remaining available whenever she needed him. He shares what that decision taught him about love, boundaries, and accepting what we cannot control. Together, KL and Sal discuss the unexpected emotions that can accompany loss, including relief, guilt, sadness, and gratitude. Their conversation offers a compassionate reminder that recovery isn't only about the person struggling with addiction. It is also about the family members learning to reclaim their own lives. Key Discussion Points Growing Up Around Addiction: How Sal's family environment, his father's gambling addiction, and his own early experiences shaped a decades-long struggle.The Turning Point in Recovery: Why a relapse without financial consequences helped Sal understand the deeper emotional and psychological nature of addiction.The Dimmer Switch of Addiction: How addictive behaviors gradually disconnect us from relationships, personal values, and everyday joy.Loving Without Chasing: What Sal learned from stepping back from his daughter while keeping the door open for connection.When Grief and Relief Coexist: Why losing someone who struggled with addiction can bring conflicting emotions, including sadness, relief, guilt, and love.Finding Joy After Loss: How Sal continues to experience joy through memories of Alana while acknowledging the pain of her absence.Gratitude and Connection in Recovery: Why meaningful relationships and daily gratitude practices have become essential to Sal's recovery.Choosing to Thrive: How recovery can create space for purpose, fun, emotional freedom, and a more fulfilling life. Questions I Ask Where did the generational patterns of addiction begin in your family, and what were the turning points in your own experience?What finally helped you commit seriously to recovery in your 40s?How did your understanding of addiction change when you realized it wasn't just about losing money?What did stepping back from pursuing Alana look like, and how did you remain connected to her?How do you hold grief and joy in the same space after losing your daughter?What role do gratitude and meaningful connection play in your daily recovery?What else is important to you in your practice of thriving and joy? In This Episode, You Will Learn How biological, psychological, and environmental influences can contribute to generational patterns of addiction.Why addiction is often about more than the visible consequences, such as financial loss or damaged relationships.How comparing external outcomes can distract from the emotional impact of addictive behaviors.Why stepping back from a loved one's addiction doesn't necessarily mean abandoning them.How grief, relief, guilt, and gratitude can coexist after losing someone you love.Why there is no single correct way to grieve or experience joy after a profound loss.How gratitude, connection, and personal recovery practices can help family members rebuild their own lives.What it means to view joy as an expectation of good, even when life remains uncertain. Resources Mentioned Recovery and Support Evive - A free app and online community supporting people who want to change their relationship with gambling.The Recovery Partners - Recovery coaching and support for individuals and families affected by gambling harm.Gamblers Anonymous - Peer support for individuals seeking recovery from gambling addiction.Alcoholics Anonymous - A fellowship supporting individuals seeking recovery from alcohol addiction.Twelve Steps and Twelve Traditions - A book exploring the principles of Alcoholics Anonymous.SMART Recovery - A recovery support approach focused on practical tools and self-management. Books and Authors The Prophet by Kahlil GibranMan's Search for Meaning by Viktor FranklAlan Watts, philosopher and writerEat, Pray, Love by Elizabeth Gilbert Notable Insight From the Episode One of the most meaningful ideas Sal shares is that grief and joy are not opposites. For him, grieving Alana means remembering the daughter he loved, the music she played, the moments they shared, and everything she brought into his life. The pain of losing her doesn't erase those memories, just as the joy of remembering her doesn't diminish his grief. His experience challenges the expectation that grieving parents must look or behave a certain way. It also offers an important perspective for families affected by addiction: loving someone deeply does not mean you must lose yourself in their struggle. Sometimes, choosing to live fully is part of how we continue to honor the people we love. About the Guest Sal Guarino is the Community Engagement Manager at Evive, a free app and online community supporting individuals who want to address their relationship with gambling. Through his work, Sal fosters meaningful connections, facilitates recovery meetings, and encourages peer-led conversations that help people feel supported and understood. Having experienced gambling addiction and recovery firsthand, Sal brings decades of lived experience to his work. His perspective goes beyond abstinence, emphasizing the importance of emotional well-being, authentic relationships, gratitude, and creating a fulfilling life in recovery. Sal is also the co-founder of The Recovery Partners, where he provides coaching and support to individuals and families affected by gambling harm. Through his personal experiences with addiction, family loss, and grief, he encourages others to discover that recovery is not simply about leaving destructive behaviors behind. It is about building a life worth living. Connect With the Guest Email: salguarino@gmail.com Evive:...

    Can You Grieve the Child You Lost and Still Feel Joy?

  2. Oct 20

    Accused of Killing the Woman He Loved Most

    What does it take to survive being suspected of the very crime that destroyed your life? Michael Melton's wife was murdered in 2009. He was the one who found her. In the days and years that followed, instead of being allowed to grieve her, he found himself treated as the prime suspect in her death. In this deeply personal conversation, KL Wells sits down with Michael to explore the years of grief, suspicion, and alcoholism that followed, and the recovery journey that eventually helped him find a new sense of purpose. Episode SummaryMichael Melton spent years carrying two things at once: unbearable grief and the suspicion of the very people meant to find his wife's killers. What followed was a six-year investigation, a trial, and a deepening struggle with alcohol that had begun long before the tragedy. In this episode of Thrive While Loving an Addict, Michael shares how drinking became a way to escape anxiety, insecurity, grief, and trauma. He reflects on the denial that kept him from recognizing the severity of his addiction, the difficult honesty that changed his recovery, and the process of making amends and finding forgiveness. Today, as a recovery counselor and author, Michael draws on his experiences to help others navigate addiction and discover that purpose can exist beyond profound loss. Key Discussion PointsGrief Under Suspicion: How Michael navigated the loss of his wife while being treated as the prime suspect in her murder.The Early Signs of Addiction: How drinking to manage anxiety and insecurity during college gradually became a harmful coping mechanism.When Trauma and Addiction Intersect: How unresolved grief and emotional pain contributed to Michael's increasing dependence on alcohol.The Trap of Comparison: Why comparing his drinking to someone else's more severe experiences delayed his recognition of his own addiction.Honesty in Recovery: How taking a rigorous personal inventory helped Michael confront the harm caused by his drinking.Making Amends and Finding Forgiveness: What it meant to acknowledge his own actions while also processing the ways others had hurt him.Finding Purpose Through Service: How helping others in recovery gave Michael a renewed sense of meaning and direction. Some QuestionsWhat happened on the morning Michael discovered his wife's murder, and how did his life change afterward?How did being treated as a suspect affect his ability to grieve?When did alcohol first become a way for Michael to manage uncomfortable emotions?How did he justify his drinking as it became more destructive?What happened during treatment that helped him begin confronting his addiction honestly?How did making amends change his understanding of responsibility and forgiveness?What has working with others in addiction recovery taught him about finding purpose after trauma? In This Episode, You Will LearnHow using alcohol to manage anxiety and insecurity can establish patterns of dependence long before a major life crisis.Why comparing your substance use to someone else's experiences can make it harder to recognize when you need help.How grief, trauma, and addiction can reinforce one another and make recovery more complicated.Why a rigorous and honest inventory of personal actions can become a meaningful turning point in recovery.How making amends can involve examining your own expectations of people who have also caused you pain.Why forgiveness and accountability can coexist during the healing process.How service to others can help create a renewed sense of purpose in recovery. Resources MentionedBooks From Pain to Purpose by Michael Melton, a memoir exploring his wife's murder, the years he spent under suspicion, his struggle with alcoholism, and his recovery journey. Available on Amazon.Alcoholics Anonymous (the "Big Book"), a foundational text associated with the Alcoholics Anonymous recovery program. Notable Insight From the EpisodeMichael's story explores how recovery can require more than simply stopping the use of alcohol. For him, it meant confronting painful experiences, recognizing the harm caused by his own actions, and learning to live with honesty, forgiveness, and accountability. His journey offers a perspective on how purpose can emerge through service to others, even after years marked by grief, trauma, and addiction. About the GuestMichael Melton is an author and recovery counselor at New Hope in New Jersey. He is the author of From Pain to Purpose, a memoir sharing his experience following his wife's murder in 2009, the years he spent under suspicion, and his personal struggle with alcoholism. After navigating profound grief, trauma, and addiction, Michael found a new direction through recovery and service to others. Today, he works in addiction counseling, drawing from his personal experiences to support individuals facing substance use challenges and the difficult process of rebuilding their lives. Through his writing and counseling work, Michael shares a message centered on honesty, accountability, forgiveness, and the possibility of finding meaning after devastating circumstances. Connect With the GuestInstagram: @frompaintopurpose_ Facebook: Mike Melton Book: From Pain to Purpose by Michael Melton, available on Amazon.

    Accused of Killing the Woman He Loved Most

  3. Oct 6

    Jim Horton: Finding Joy Again After Losing a Son to Overdose

    What happens when staying busy becomes the only way you know how to survive grief? After losing his son Zachary to an overdose in January 2020, Jim Horton kept moving. He read more than 50 books a year, worked out almost every day, taught skiing, and devoted 60 to 80 hours a week to the foundation he created in Zachary's memory. For years, staying busy helped keep the grief at a distance. But when Jim's wife retired and he began slowing down too, there was suddenly space for everything he had been carrying. Jim has joined KL several times over the years. In their last conversation, he couldn't imagine ever feeling joy again. This time, something is different. Episode Summary In this deeply personal conversation, KL Wells welcomes Jim Horton back to Thrive While Loving an Addict to talk about what has changed in his grief since losing his son Zachary to an overdose. Jim shares how constant activity became part of his survival. Between exercise, reading, teaching skiing, and pouring himself into the Zachary Horton Foundation, there was little room left to sit with the pain. When life finally began to slow down, Jim found himself confronting grief he had kept at arm's length for years. KL and Jim also explore an experience that often receives far less attention: how fathers grieve the death of a child. After more than six years of co-facilitating groups for parents who have lost children, Jim has repeatedly seen rooms filled predominantly with mothers, often with only two or three fathers among a group of twelve. They discuss the messages many men receive about being strong, returning to work, protecting their families, and keeping painful emotions private. Jim also shares how a four-day retreat with other grieving fathers at a farm for rescued animals gave him a different way to understand and experience his grief. Most importantly, this conversation offers something Jim once wasn't sure he would experience again: the possibility of joy. Not because the grief disappeared or Zachary became less important, but because Jim began learning that grief, love, and joy can exist alongside one another. Key Discussion Points Losing Zachary to an overdose and living through the years that followedHow Jim used constant activity to keep grief at a distanceWhat happened when retirement created more space and fewer distractionsWhy grief doesn't follow a predictable or linear timelineThe difference between moving forward and being told to "move on"The particular challenges fathers can face after losing a childCultural expectations that encourage men to suppress vulnerabilityWhat Jim learned during a four-day retreat with other grieving fathersRecognizing a grief trigger and asking, "What do I need right now?"The fear that allowing yourself to cry means you may never stopLearning to experience painful emotions rather than immediately escaping themWhy grief and love can sit beside one anotherFinding people who understand the path instead of trying to walk it aloneHelping children understand that saying "I'm hurting" is safeJim's continued work through the Zachary Horton FoundationDiscovering that joy can return without diminishing the love for the person who died Some Questions KL Asks What changed since the last time Jim and KL spoke?How did staying constantly busy affect Jim's grieving process?What happened when Jim finally had enough space to experience his grief?Why do so few fathers participate in grief support groups?What messages do men receive about how they are "supposed" to grieve?What did Jim learn from spending four days with other grieving fathers?What happens when we stop running from painful emotions?Can grief and joy exist at the same time?How can parents teach children that vulnerability and asking for help are signs of strength? In This Episode, You Will Learn Why constant busyness can keep grief at arm's length for years without resolving itHow grief after losing a child can feel more like a rollercoaster than a series of linear stagesWhy many fathers may feel they don't have permission to openly grieveHow asking "What do I need right now?" during a triggering moment can create a different relationship with griefWhy the fear that "if I start crying, I'll never stop" often keeps people from allowing themselves to feelHow grief and love can exist side by sideWhy finding people who understand your experience can make grief feel less isolatingHow vulnerability and asking for help can become important lessons to model for childrenWhy joy returning does not mean forgetting the person you lost Notable Insight From The Episode Grief does not have to disappear for joy to return. For years, Jim stayed in motion because motion helped him survive. But slowing down eventually gave him the opportunity to experience what had been waiting underneath all that activity. His story is a reminder that grief doesn't operate according to a schedule. There may be periods of functioning, distraction, intense pain, connection, laughter, and even joy. One does not necessarily erase the others. The love remains. The grief may remain too. But over time, there can also be room for life again. About the Guest Jim Horton is the founder of the Zachary Horton Foundation in Fresno, California, which he created in memory of his son, Zachary, after Zachary died of an overdose in January 2020. Through the foundation, Jim works to connect people with support for substance use disorder and mental health challenges. He gives drug-awareness presentations to middle school, high school, and college students, provides community education on the use of Narcan, and helps fund scholarships for people transitioning from inpatient treatment into sober living. For more than six years, Jim and his wife have also co-facilitated a support group for parents who have experienced the death of a child. Resources Mentioned Zachary Horton FoundationHinds Hospice, Center for Grief and Healing in Fresno, CaliforniaSelah Care FarmOn Death and Dying by Elisabeth Kübler-RossBrené BrownLewis HowesEd MylettNarcan (naloxone) Connect With Jim Horton Jim invites listeners who need support or would like to learn more about the foundation's work to reach out through the contact information available on the Zachary Horton Foundation website. Zachary Horton Foundation

    Jim Horton: Finding Joy Again After Losing a Son to Overdose

  4. Sep 22

    Loving a Brother Through Addiction: Justin Burgy's Story

    What does it mean to become the "fixer" in your family, and what happens when fixing stops working? In this episode, KL Wells sits down with Justin Burgy, an author from Youngstown, Ohio, whose novel Not My Brother's Keeper grew from his family's generational experience with addiction. Justin first watched his father struggle with cocaine addiction. Roughly a decade later, he found himself confronting addiction again when his younger brother, the sibling he describes as his "shadow" growing up, began traveling a similar path. Episode Summary Justin and KL explore an experience many families affected by addiction recognize: beginning with advice, financial help, and attempts to solve the problem, then gradually realizing that love does not provide control over another person's choices. Justin shares how his understanding of helping and enabling changed over time and why he eventually learned to love his brother from a distance. Their conversation also explores the enormous strain addiction can place on an entire family. Justin reflects on supporting his mother through his brother's addiction while she was battling breast cancer, the night his brother nearly died from an overdose in her living room, and the guilt and helplessness he carried afterward. Writing eventually became one way for Justin to process those experiences and give language to emotions he struggled to express elsewhere. Key Discussion Points Growing up in a family already affected by addictionWatching addiction move from one generation of the family to anotherJustin's role as the "fixer" sibling and the responsibility that came with itWhy advice and reasoning may have little impact during active addictionHow genuine attempts to help can gradually become enablingGiving money and other forms of support before understanding their potential consequencesThe repeated cycle of treatment, relapse, and returning to treatmentRecognizing that someone you love may not yet be ready for recoverySupporting his mother through her son's addiction while she was also facing breast cancerThe night Justin's brother nearly died from an overdose in their mother's living roomGrieving for someone who is still aliveReaching the point where Justin realized he could not fix or control his brother's addictionLearning to love someone from a distance without viewing that distance as abandonmentThe guilt that can accompany stepping backWriting and storytelling as an outlet for helplessness and unresolved emotionsDiscovering a wider community after speaking openly about family addictionWhy rebuilding trust after repeated relapse takes timeRemaining open to relationships even after trust has been broken Some Questions I Ask What did helping look like for you in the beginning, before you understood what you were dealing with?Was there a point when you realized you couldn't fix or control what was happening?How do you continue loving someone from afar?What did you learn about yourself while trying to save someone you couldn't save?How do you carry the guilt associated with the times you needed to pull away? In This Episode, You Will Learn Why reasoning with someone during active addiction may not create the change families hope forHow enabling can begin from a place of genuine love and concernWhy repeated treatment and relapse can be emotionally exhausting for the entire familyWhat someone's lack of readiness for recovery can look like to the people who love themWhy creating distance can sometimes become part of loving someone through addictionHow family members can experience grief even while their loved one is still aliveWhy speaking openly about addiction can reveal that families are less alone than they may believeHow writing and storytelling can provide an outlet for difficult emotionsWhy boundaries do not have to be rooted in punishmentWhy trust often needs to be rebuilt gradually after addiction and repeated relapse Resources Not My Brother's Keeper by Justin Burgy Evolve From Empathy Notable Insight From The Episode Sometimes loving someone means accepting that you cannot be the person who fixes what they are going through. For family members who have spent years trying to help, stepping back can bring grief and guilt of its own. Justin's experience explores the possibility that distance and love can coexist, and that setting a boundary does not necessarily mean closing the door on the person behind the addiction. About the Guest Justin Burgy is an author from Youngstown, Ohio, whose writing explores addiction, family relationships, empathy, and the complicated experience of loving someone through substance use. His novel, Not My Brother's Keeper, draws from his family's generational experience with addiction, including his experiences watching both his father and younger brother struggle with substance use. Through his writing, Justin gives voice to the perspective of family members who may find themselves caught between wanting to help and recognizing the limits of what they can control. Justin also writes about addiction and family life through his blog, Evolve From Empathy, where he shares reflections shaped by his experience loving a brother through active addiction. Connect With the Guest Evolve From Empathy

    Loving a Brother Through Addiction: Justin Burgy's Story

  5. Sep 8

    Why Good News Can Be Just as Dangerous for a Relapse as a Crisis

    What happens when the good news carries its own emotional weight? Three and a half years into her son Sam's recovery, KL Wells is watching him experience milestones that once felt far away: a new home, a new job, and the possibility of a promotion. These are moments worth celebrating. They have also taught KL something she did not initially expect. Recovery is not only about learning how to move through pain. It can also mean learning how to experience joy, pride, change, and possibility without returning to old ways of coping. Episode Summary In this episode of Thrive While Loving an Addict, producer Steve Cary turns the microphone around and interviews KL Wells about what she continues to learn as her son Sam moves through three and a half years of sustained recovery. KL reflects on why positive milestones can bring complicated emotions to the surface and why families may need to remain emotionally present during the good seasons as well as the difficult ones. Together, Steve and KL explore what it means to redefine success in recovery, move beyond "he stopped using" as the finish line, and recognize the quiet worry families may continue to carry even when life appears stable. KL also shares how she interrupts her own worry loops, asks more meaningful questions, and makes room for grief and joy to exist together. Key Discussion Points Why active addiction can numb joy alongside painThe emotional complexity of experiencing positive change in recoveryHow milestones such as a new home, job, promotion, or relationship can bring unexpected emotions to the surfaceThe question of worthiness that may emerge when life begins going wellWhy KL now asks more layered questions instead of checking in only during difficult momentsMoving beyond "he stopped using" as the definition of successRedefining recovery as an ongoing process rather than a finish lineThe invisible emotional cost of persistent, low-grade worryHow KL recognizes and interrupts her own worry loopsChoosing gratitude while still acknowledging difficult emotionsThe relationship between addiction and griefMaking space for grief and joy to exist on the same dayWhat continuing to show up can look like years into a loved one's recovery Some Questions I Ask What are you still paying attention to now that everything looks good?Why can a joyful moment carry emotional risk alongside a crisis?How do you check in with someone who is finally allowing themselves to feel proud?What does it mean to redefine success in recovery rather than stopping at "they got clean"?How do you hold grief and joy in the same day without allowing either one to take over? In This Episode, You Will Learn Why recovery can involve relearning how to experience positive emotions as well as difficult onesHow good news and major life changes may bring complicated feelings to the surfaceWhy feelings of worthiness can become relevant during positive milestonesHow families can remain connected during stable periods rather than waiting for a crisisWhy stopping substance use may be one part of a much longer recovery processHow KL approaches the worry that can remain even after years of stabilityWhy redefining success can help families recognize growth beyond a single outcomeHow gratitude, grief, and joy can coexistWhat it can mean to continue supporting a loved one without allowing their recovery to determine your own emotional well-being Notable Insight From The Episode Recovery does not only ask someone to learn how to survive the difficult moments. It can also ask them to learn how to receive the good ones. For families, that can mean expanding what support looks like. Showing up may involve being present not only during relapse, fear, or crisis, but also during the moments when a loved one is learning how to experience stability, accomplishment, and joy. About KL Wells KL Wells is the creator and host of Thrive While Loving an Addict, a podcast and platform supporting parents, partners, and families navigating a loved one's addiction. Her work is informed by her own experience loving her son Sam through addiction, multiple relapses, and now three and a half years of sustained recovery. Through the podcast, KL shares conversations about addiction, boundaries, grief, recovery, family dynamics, and what it means for loved ones to pursue their own healing and well-being alongside someone else's recovery journey. Resources Connect with KL Wells and Thrive While Loving an Addict: https://voicesincourage.com

    Why Good News Can Be Just as Dangerous for a Relapse as a Crisis

  6. Aug 25

    His Father's Death Sent Him Into Addiction, Then Jail.

    What happens when the person who taught you how to survive chaos is also part of the reason you never learned to feel safe? Richard Lynch spent his childhood learning to read his father's voice for warning signs, sometimes recognizing days in advance that another crisis was coming. He grew up quickly, did well in school, and eventually built a life that appeared to be working. Then his father died, and the grief that followed changed the direction of Richard's life. Episode Summary In this episode of Thrive While Loving an Addict, KL Wells sits down with Richard Lynch to explore a story that moves across generations of addiction, mental illness, grief, trauma, and recovery. Richard grew up with an alcoholic father who was later diagnosed with schizoaffective disorder. As a child, he learned to anticipate instability, take on responsibilities beyond his years, and navigate an environment where safety could change quickly. After his father's death, Richard's unresolved grief became intertwined with his own opioid addiction, eventually leading to incarceration. Today, he works within Kentucky's correctional system, helping train counselors to look beyond behavior and address the trauma that can exist beneath addiction. Richard shares what helped him rebuild his life, reconnect with his children, find faith, and use his lived experience to support others walking through recovery. Key Discussion Points Growing up with an alcoholic father who was also living with serious mental illnessHow children raised in chaotic environments can learn to anticipate danger before they understand what they are experiencingParentification and the impact of taking on adult responsibilities during childhoodHow seeing other families helped Richard recognize that what felt normal at home was not universalThe lasting impact of being told that his grief was too much for othersWhy Richard stopped allowing himself to cry for twelve yearsThe connection between his father's death, unresolved grief, and the beginning of Richard's opioid addictionRichard's experience with incarceration and how it changed the direction of his lifeThe difference between simply stopping substance use and addressing the underlying emotional painWhy Richard believes trauma-informed addiction treatment is essential within correctional settingsHis perspective that substance use can interrupt emotional development and leave unresolved pain beneath the addictionFinding faith while incarcerated and the role it has played in his long-term recoveryRebuilding relationships with his children after years of separationLearning to become the father his son needed in the present rather than remaining defined by missed yearsThe idea of becoming a "wounded healer" and using lived experience in service of others Some Questions I Ask What does it cost someone emotionally when they are taught that their grief is a burden?How do you begin forgiving yourself for the years when you were not able to be present?What does being a "wounded healer" mean to you?At what point can someone begin separating who they are from what happened to them? In This Episode, You Will Learn Why children growing up in chaotic homes may not recognize their environment as unusual until they experience something differentHow childhood hypervigilance can develop as a way of anticipating instabilityWhy silencing or minimizing grief can have lasting emotional consequencesHow unresolved grief became connected to Richard's own substance useWhy stopping substance use and healing the pain underneath it are not necessarily the same processHow trauma can influence emotional development and patterns of addictionWhy trauma-informed approaches may offer a deeper understanding of behavior within addiction treatmentHow faith and connection became meaningful parts of Richard's recoveryWhat rebuilding relationships with children can look like after addiction and separationWhy healing may involve learning to show up differently in the present rather than trying to undo the pastHow lived experience can become a source of empathy and purpose Resources & Guest Links QPR Institute: Question, Persuade, Refer Suicide Prevention Training QPR Institute Seeking Safety: Trauma and Addiction Treatment Model Developed by Lisa M. Najavits, PhD Seeking Safety Official Information The Body Keeps the Score by Bessel van der Kolk Bessel van der Kolk Official Website EMDR: Eye Movement Desensitization and Reprocessing EMDR International Association Internal Family Systems (IFS) and Parts Work IFS Institute Connect With Richard Lynch Facebook Richard Lynch on Facebook Instagram @leanonyourpeople on Instagram TikTok @leanonyourpeople on TikTok Email richard.lynch.jr@gmail.com

    His Father's Death Sent Him Into Addiction, Then Jail.

  7. Aug 11

    Grief Doesn't Get to Decide Who You Become

    What happens when life changes in an instant? Within just ten days, Elizabeth Grandinetti lost both her grandfather and her fiancé while recovering from major surgery. The losses were overwhelming, and for a time, grief became the center of her world. This conversation explores what came next: the slow work of healing, rediscovering herself, and learning that while grief changes us, it does not have to define who we become. Episode Summary In this episode of Thrive While Loving an Addict, KL Wells sits down with Elizabeth Grandinetti to talk about navigating profound loss, rebuilding trust in herself, and finding hope after addiction and grief reshaped her life. Elizabeth shares the story of losing her fiancé to an overdose after his relapse following years of recovery, just days after losing the grandfather who helped raise her. Together, KL and Elizabeth explore the importance of community, stillness, self-trust, and the small daily choices that gradually make healing possible. This conversation offers encouragement for anyone grieving a loved one or trying to reconnect with themselves after life has been turned upside down. Key Discussion Points Losing multiple loved ones within days of each otherGrieving the loss of a partner to addiction and overdoseRecovering physically while navigating overwhelming emotional lossThe role of grief support groups and community in healingFriends who showed up with consistent care during difficult seasonsHow busyness can become a form of emotional avoidanceLearning to trust yourself and your instincts againRebuilding life after profound lossLeaving a successful career to pursue a more meaningful pathReconnecting with joy through intentional daily practicesChoosing how grief will shape, but not define, your future Some Questions I Ask What are three to five things you would share with someone who feels lost in grief or in someone else's addiction?When did you begin to realize that the strength you were looking for was already within you?What helped you learn to trust yourself again after everything you experienced?What patterns do you commonly see in the women you coach today? In This Episode, You Will Learn Why grief does not have to determine the rest of your lifeHow community and support groups can provide hope during difficult seasonsWhy slowing down can reveal what constant busyness often hidesHow rebuilding trust in yourself happens one step at a timeWhy reconnecting with joy can become part of the healing processHow childhood memories can help reconnect you with feelings of hope and possibilityWhy major life changes can sometimes lead to greater clarity about purposeHow healing can create space for new relationships, new experiences, and a renewed sense of self Resources Learn more about This Way to Joy http://www.elizabeth-grand.com Notable Insight From The Episode "Grief doesn't get to decide who you become." Grief can change the course of our lives, but it does not have to define our identity. Healing often begins through small, intentional choices that gradually help us reconnect with hope, purpose, and ourselves. About the Guest Elizabeth Grandinetti is a Tampa-based coach and founder of This Way to Joy, where she helps women reconnect with themselves after seasons of grief, overwhelm, and life transition. Drawing from her own experiences with profound loss, Elizabeth encourages others to cultivate self-trust, embrace stillness, and intentionally reconnect with joy. Her coaching focuses on helping women move beyond survival and create lives rooted in authenticity, resilience, and purpose. Connect With the Guest Website http://www.elizabeth-grand.com Facebook Elizabeth Grandinetti Instagram @coach_elizabeth_g

    Grief Doesn't Get to Decide Who You Become

  8. Jul 28

    Drugs Destroyed My Life, and I Wasn't Even Using Them with Mark Manderson

    What happens to the eight-year-old boy who finds his aunt collapsed on the floor, pills beneath his feet, and has to call for someone to help her? What happens when, years later, he discovers that the childhood memory he questioned was real? For Mark Manderson, that experience became part of a much larger story. His aunt died from a drug overdose when he was young, but the memory remained buried until therapy helped him revisit it years later. The grief and understanding that followed would eventually influence a career dedicated to helping people and families affected by addiction. Episode Summary In this episode of Thrive While Loving an Addict, KL Wells sits down with Mark Manderson, CEO and founder of Pacific Shores Recovery, to explore what more than two decades of working in addiction recovery have taught him about pain, substance use, family dynamics, and healing. Mark shares his belief that substance use often serves as an attempt to escape or numb deeper pain, and explains why focusing only on the substance can leave important underlying issues unaddressed. Together, KL and Mark discuss anger and grief, the limits of trying to control someone else's recovery, emotional literacy, generational patterns, and what it can mean to love someone without losing yourself in the process. Key Discussion Points Mark's childhood experience of losing his aunt to a drug overdose and how that loss influenced his life's workRevisiting a buried childhood memory through EMDR therapyWhy substance use can become a way of numbing or escaping deeper emotional painThe difference between pain that keeps someone stuck and pain that becomes a source of meaning or purposeWhy trying to control, fix, or change someone struggling with addiction can exhaust familiesThe grief that may exist underneath anger for parents and loved onesMark's five foundational freedoms and the patterns he observed among people who sustained recoveryAddiction as isolation and the importance of connection and community in recoveryEmotional literacy and why understanding feelings can be difficult when those skills were never taughtHow generational patterns can influence substance use and family relationshipsLoving someone with an open hand rather than attaching love to a specific outcomeHow the questions we repeatedly ask ourselves can shape our perspective and beliefsA Gestalt-based exercise Mark uses to explore guilt and shame carried by family members Some Questions I Ask Can you say more about the idea that pain may have something to teach or show us?What does "doing the work" actually look like for someone who has never begun that process?What might be a first step for a parent who feels trapped in anger?Do you see the addiction crisis as an invitation for people and families to become more aware of deeper patterns?How do you continue loving the person while struggling with what addiction is doing? In This Episode, You Will Learn Why addiction may be connected to an attempt to numb underlying emotional pain rather than simply a relationship with a substanceHow trying to control another person's choices can affect families emotionallyWhy grief may sit underneath anger, frustration, and exhaustionHow pain can be explored and integrated rather than continually avoidedThe five foundational freedoms Mark identified through his work with people in recoveryWhy connection and community can play an important role in recoveryHow emotional literacy can help people better understand what they are experiencingHow generational patterns may influence addiction and family dynamicsWhy the questions we ask ourselves can influence the answers and perspectives our minds repeatedly return toHow families can begin examining guilt and shame they may have taken on as their ownWhat it can mean to love someone without making your own well-being dependent on their recovery Resources The Recovery Way by Mark Manderson A New Earth by Eckhart Tolle TED Talk by Mark Manderson About the Guest Mark Manderson is the CEO and founder of Pacific Shores Recovery in Newport Beach, California, and has worked in addiction treatment for more than two decades. His work with individuals and families is informed by both professional experience and his own childhood experience of losing his aunt to addiction. Through his work, Mark focuses on understanding the pain and emotional patterns that can exist beneath substance use while helping individuals and families develop greater awareness, connection, and emotional understanding. His experience includes working with both veterans and civilians navigating addiction and recovery. Mark is also the author of The Recovery Way, a speaker, and a confidence coach who offers educational master classes for individuals and families navigating recovery. Connect With Mark Instagram @markcmanderson Pacific Shores Recovery Newport Beach, California

    Drugs Destroyed My Life, and I Wasn't Even Using Them with Mark Manderson
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Ratings & Reviews

4.1
out of 5
8 Ratings

About

More than 50% of American families have a loved one or close relative who is an addict or alcoholic. Although there are ample resources to help these individuals recover, their families suffer, too. Parents, spouses, children, and friends need help navigating this unexpected, challenging disease. Welcome to Thrive While Loving an Addict with KL Wells. She brings together loved ones and family members of addicts and alcoholics. Their insights and perspectives create a community of healing, connecting, and rebuilding. While your addict may be working hard to make themselves better, you may feel left behind to face a different kind of battle. The negative stigma of having a loved one as an addict causes a lot of pain. How are you dealing with loneliness, fear, and shame? There are quick fixes for these difficult moments in your life. Now you can get real and raw advice from people who are walking and dealing with the path you’re on. This podcast highlights the vulnerable and courageous voices of these families. Listen to real-life stories of people who have addicted loved ones, and discover how they addressed the hardships. Also, hear the experiences of recovering addicts that share what is, and isn't, working in their journey towards healing. Gather useful tools and practical advice to alleviate your own journey by delving into these touching and inspiring stories. Contemplate what may not be working, and discover what it takes to face the challenges along the way. This podcast offers a safe platform for the loved ones of addicts. Rise to the challenge, and become a key player in being a part of this fresh community. There are also episodes that will widen your knowledge about addiction recovery. Get educated by real life experiences of people who reveal their journey to help addicts and alcoholics jump back on their feet. In addition to breaking down their practice, they bring a glimmer of hope for what can be done for individuals who may have given up on themselves. KL Wells is a community leader and influential speaker who led initiatives with senior executives, trustees, and board directors of various non-profit organizations. For more than twenty years, she focused on empowering leaders to create extraordinary human impact. Spending time with these people inspired her to do more, and start the company Voices InCourage. Most importantly, KL understands how painful it is to have an addicted loved one. She was married to an alcoholic, her current partner is recovering from alcohol addiction, and her son is an active addict. The mission of this podcast is not just advocacy. It hits very close to home to KL. Her reflections as a wife and mother are something you should not miss. Seeing your loved ones pulled down by drugs and alcohol is truly heartbreaking. As a result, you may feel miserable and isolated. You also have to deal with negative opinions from others, and it is up to you to fend for yourself. Nobody deserves to be treated this way. No one should go through this challenging episode of life alone. This is what KL offers in this podcast: the strength to move forward and guidance to have the courage to change. If you have the courage to use your voice, you can become an inspiration for your friend, spouse, parent, or child as they overcome their addictive behavior. Ultimately, it’s about transforming the lives of loved ones from surviving to thriving in the midst of chaos. Listen to Thrive While Loving an Addict with KL Wells at https://voicesincourage.com/podcast.

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