It's Not That Deep

Adrienne Kirk and Lucy Ranger
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  • MENTAL HEALTH
  • UPDATED BIWEEKLY

In each episode Adrienne Kirk, a Psychotherapist and Lucy Ranger (was Woods), a Mindfulness Specialist bring some lightness to often difficult subjects, helping to navigate through the messiness of life's challenges. With a real emphasis on how to move towards flourishing, It's Not That Deep, looks at what it really is to be human, and offers some tools and strategies that help to support our wellbeing. Find us at: www.adriennekirk.uk or www.presenceofmind.life Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

  1. FEB 24

    Why are we so focused on the end result?

    In this episode, we explore how much enjoyment we miss if we are only focused on the end product. It is so important to focus on the process rather than the end result in various aspects of life as there is so much pleasure to be got from the journey! We discuss how mindfulness and engagement in activities can enhance enjoyment and fulfilment, emphasising the need to be present and savour each moment. Our conversation also touches on the significance of experiential learning and the joy found in mundane experiences, ultimately advocating for a shift in perspective towards appreciating the journey of life. Takeaways We often rush through life, focusing on the end result. Enjoying the process can lead to greater fulfilment. Mindfulness enhances our engagement in activities. Striving for perfection can detract from enjoyment. Being present allows us to savour experiences. Life's joy can be found in mundane moments. Experiential learning is more valuable than outcomes. Grief reflects the love we had for someone. We should not define ourselves by our achievements. Life happens in the present, not in future expectations. Adrienne and Lucy can be contacted through their websites: www.presenceofmind.life (Lucy) www.adriennekirk.uk (Adrienne) Find us at: www.adriennekirk.uk or www.presenceofmind.life Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

    31 min

  2. FEB 9

    Why don't we say what we mean?

    In this episode, we delve into the complexities of communication, particularly focusing on why people often fail to express their true thoughts and feelings. We explore various reasons for this behaviour, such as the fear of upsetting others or the desire to be liked. Our conversation highlights the tension between honesty and kindness, emphasizing that while it’s important to be truthful, it’s equally crucial to consider the feelings of others. We discuss the challenges of navigating these conversations, especially in personal relationships, and the importance of finding a balance between being clear and being considerate. We also touch on the concept of 'mind reading' in relationships, where individuals expect their partners or friends to understand their feelings without explicit communication. we stress the significance of clarity in communication and the need for practice in having difficult conversations. As usual, we conclude with practical advice on how to approach these discussions, including the importance of timing and the potential benefits of being honest while remaining kind. Takeaways We often avoid saying what we mean due to fear of upsetting others. Finding a balance between honesty and kindness is crucial. Mind reading in relationships can lead to misunderstandings. Clear communication can prevent unnecessary conflict. Practicing assertiveness in small matters can build confidence for bigger conversations. Adrienne and Lucy can be contacted through their websites: www.presenceofmind.life (Lucy) www.adriennekirk.uk (Adrienne) Find us at: www.adriennekirk.uk or www.presenceofmind.life Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

    31 min

  3. JAN 27

    Why do we see things as black or white?

    In this episode, we explore the tendency we all have to perceive situations in black and white terms, often overlooking the nuanced middle ground. This is a natural process, our brains are hard-wired to keep us safe and a part of that is to categorise things as safe or unsafe.  We discuss how this thinking can lead to unrealistic expectations, particularly in relationships and personal experiences, and how we can work to pull ourselves back to the messy middle. Our conversation emphasises the importance of emotional regulation, effective communication, and the need to lower expectations to find balance, ease and happiness in life. Takeaways We have a tendency to see things in extremes. Our brains categorise experiences to keep us safe. Judgment stems from a need for survival. Catastrophising can ruin otherwise good days. Expectations can lead to disappointment during holidays. Communication is key in relationships. Self-care is not selfish; it's necessary. Emotional regulation helps in avoiding black and white thinking. Finding the middle ground is essential for happiness. Lowering expectations can lead to greater satisfaction. Adrienne and Lucy can be contacted through their websites: www.presenceofmind.life (Lucy) www.adriennekirk.uk (Adrienne) Find us at: www.adriennekirk.uk or www.presenceofmind.life Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

    31 min

  4. JAN 13

    Why don't we feel like a grown up?

    In this episode, we explore the complexities of feeling grown up, whether we feel different than we did when we were younger, the impact of our inner child, and the cultural perceptions of ageing, particularly for women.   We discuss the challenges of defining ourselves beyond societal labels, the responsibilities of adulthood, and the generational differences in perceptions of growing up. We also emphasise the importance of embracing eccentricities and finding joy in ageing while navigating the messinesses of grown-up life. Takeaways Many people feel they haven't changed much since their twenties. The inner child often feels neglected in adulthood. Cultural expectations can pressure women regarding ageing. Ageing is often associated with loss of freedom and increased responsibility. Generational differences affect perceptions of adulthood. Maintaining friendships across generations can help to blur age boundaries. Embracing eccentricities can lead to a more fulfilling life. Defining oneself beyond societal roles is challenging but necessary. The fear of ageing often stems from societal pressures. Finding joy in ageing requires a shift in perspective. Adrienne and Lucy can be contacted through their websites: www.presenceofmind.life (Lucy) www.adriennekirk.uk (Adrienne) Find us at: www.adriennekirk.uk or www.presenceofmind.life Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

    29 min

  5. 12/30/2025

    Why do we think we know best?

    In this conversation, we explore the theme of why we often believe our way of thinking is superior to others'. We discuss everyday examples of perceived efficiency, the comfort of familiarity, and the challenges of accepting different perspectives. We are always changing, evolving our beliefs, thoughts and the way in which we do things and engage with the world and other people. And can we allow that we therefore might change our minds completely on something, and can that be okay. This conversation emphasises the importance of flexibility in our beliefs and the value of learning from others, especially younger generations. We also touch on the role of science in shaping our opinions and the necessity of being open to new information. Takeaways: We often believe our way is the best way. Everyday examples highlight our perceptions of efficiency. Understanding different perspectives can enhance relationships. Familiarity provides comfort but can hinder growth. Change can be uncomfortable but is necessary for learning. Flexibility in beliefs allows for personal growth. Younger generations can teach us valuable lessons. Science evolves, and so should our beliefs. Being open and curious fosters better communication. Navigating relationships requires understanding and acceptance. Adrienne and Lucy can be contacted through their websites: www.presenceofmind.life (Lucy) www.adriennekirk.uk (Adrienne) Find us at: www.adriennekirk.uk or www.presenceofmind.life Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

    32 min

  6. 12/16/2025

    Why do we find it easier to help others rather than ourselves?

    In this episode we explored why it seems so much easier to find a solution to other peoples problems that it is our own. We discuss the importance of self-compassion and mindfulness and getting a bigger picture perspective, particularly in challenging situations. We reflected on the tendency we have to hold ourselves to a much higher standard than we do for others, that we are less likely to show ourselves understanding and compassion. We emphasised the need to reflect on the advice we would give to others, particularly those we love, and apply it to ourselves. We talked about giving ourselves a moment of stillness and presence rather than seeking immediate solutions. Trust that self-support and solutions will emerge from a soothed system, rather than the hard time we give ourselves when we are in fight or flight mode! Takeaways Can we think about what advice would we give to others we care about? Can we apply that advice to ourselves. In difficult times, we often need compassion, not solutions. Taking a moment to breathe can be beneficial. Mindfulness helps us to just be in the moment. It's important to reflect on our feelings. We often bombard ourselves with solutions when we need support. Self-compassion is crucial during tough times. Being present can help alleviate stress. We should treat ourselves with the same kindness we offer others. Adrienne and Lucy can be contacted through their websites: www.presenceofmind.life (Lucy) www.adriennekirk.uk (Adrienne) Find us at: www.adriennekirk.uk or www.presenceofmind.life Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

    29 min

  7. 12/02/2025

    Why do we view some emotions as negative?

    In this episode we explore why we view some emotions as negative. It is natural to categorise our feelings as good or bad; wrong or right. The negative ones we experience feel unpleasant and so we have a tendency to push them away. We consider the importance of facing these emotions and starting to see them as unpleasant rather than bad or negative. All our feelings are data or information about our current state, so it can be helpful to develop a curiosity about them and what they are telling us about ourselves. We emphasise the need to manage difficult emotions rather than suppressing them, highlighting the impact of avoidance on mental health. Takeaways: When faced with unpleasant emotions, we often seek distractions.Substance abuse and busyness can be unhealthy coping mechanisms.Avoiding difficult emotions can lead to negative consequences.It's important to face and manage our emotions directly.Suppressing feelings can result in them resurfacing later.Healthy emotional management is crucial for mental well-being.Understanding our emotional responses can lead to better coping strategies.Emotional tolerance is a skill that can be developed.Facing emotions can lead to personal growth and resilience.Support systems can aid in managing difficult feelings. Adrienne and Lucy can be contacted through their websites: www.presenceofmind.life (Lucy) www.adriennekirk.uk (Adrienne) Find us at: www.adriennekirk.uk or www.presenceofmind.life Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

    31 min

  8. 11/18/2025

    Why do we replay the past?

    In this episode, we explore the reasons behind why individuals replay past events and the patterns of behaviour that emerge from these experiences. We discuss the impact of fixed identities, sedimented beliefs, the weight of regret and shame, and the importance of self-compassion in navigating these feelings. The conversation emphasises the need for understanding our decision-making processes and the illusion of right choices, while also highlighting the significance of seeking help and support when feeling overwhelmed. We hope that this discussion provides insights into breaking the cycle of overthinking and fostering personal growth. Takeaways We often replay the past due to ingrained patterns of behaviour. Fixed identities can limit our perception of choices. Shame and regret can lead to self-torture in our thoughts. Decisions made in the past were based on available evidence at the time. Self-compassion is crucial for personal growth and healing. Thoughts are not facts; they can be observed and challenged. Seeking help is not a weakness but a necessary step for recovery. We take our existing patterns with us into new situations. It's important to learn from the past without harsh judgment. Acceptance of where we are now is the first step to change. Adrienne and Lucy can be contacted through their websites: www.presenceofmind.life (Lucy) www.adriennekirk.uk (Adrienne) Find us at: www.adriennekirk.uk or www.presenceofmind.life Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

    32 min
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About

In each episode Adrienne Kirk, a Psychotherapist and Lucy Ranger (was Woods), a Mindfulness Specialist bring some lightness to often difficult subjects, helping to navigate through the messiness of life's challenges. With a real emphasis on how to move towards flourishing, It's Not That Deep, looks at what it really is to be human, and offers some tools and strategies that help to support our wellbeing. Find us at: www.adriennekirk.uk or www.presenceofmind.life Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Information

  • Creator
    Adrienne Kirk and Lucy Ranger
  • Years Active
    2022 - 2026
  • Episodes
    97
  • Rating
    Clean
  • Copyright
    © Lucy Ranger and Adrienne Kirk
  • Show Website
    It's Not That Deep