REFS NEED LOVE TOO

David Gerson
  • 4.8 (51)
  • SOCCER
  • UPDATED WEEKLY

An honest perspective from the 3rd team on the pitch... the referees. Through humor, analysis and education, we are slowly changing how people view referees and officials in all sports. We care and have a love for the game as much as any player or coach. Sometimes even more. Youth soccer (proper football) is a multi-billion $ industry in the US. Tremendous money is spent on players, competitions, travel etc., but almost nothing spent on developing the next generation of referees. I hope that this Podcast inspires, educates and humanizes the next generation of referees for their own development and appreciation from the players, coaches and spectators they need to work alongside. 

  1. APR 25

    Update! Bouncing Back After A Mistake

    Send us Fan Mail A single referee mistake can hijack your confidence for days, especially when it happens in a high school playoff match with a crowd watching. I share a raw update on a procedural error I had to admit publicly, including the moment I took a go-ahead goal off the board and how heavy that felt after the final whistle. If you’ve ever walked to your car replaying one decision on repeat, you’ll recognize the mix of pride, guilt, and the need to keep showing up anyway.  From there, we pivot to the quick reset that every soccer referee needs: an easy assistant referee night that still had its own challenge (yes, you can get cooked by the sun even at a “night” game). Then we get into a competitive Georgia high school soccer matchup between 6A teams where game management matters on every touch. We talk injuries, five yellow cards, delays of restart, reckless challenges, and how using comms with a strong crew helps us spot flashpoints and keep players from boiling over.  We close with the small details that make officials better: smarter positioning on goal kicks, opening your body to read the long ball, and why over-apologizing (“I’m sorry”) can actually make dissent worse. There’s also a quick referee gear update with new referee socks and the latest on grip socks restocking and why they sell out so fast. If this helped you, subscribe, share it with a ref friend, and leave a review so more officials can find it. Support the show

    6 min

  2. APR 23

    Integrity Over Ego: Why I Took a Goal Off the Board

    Send us Fan Mail A playoff match can feel perfect for 50 minutes and then unravel in 10 seconds. That’s what happened to me in Georgia, and I’m not proud of it. I’m sharing the full, raw story of a high school postseason game where I made a procedural mistake on a restart, saw the consequences hit the scoreboard, and then had to make the hardest choice a referee can make in public: admit it and fix it. We talk through the whole arc, from pregame prep and crew dynamics to why comms can help when things get fast. I break down a clear DOGSO handball moment on a corner kick that leads to a penalty and a red card, then the decision that changed everything: allowing a quick free kick when the ball was still moving. When that restart turns into a goal, the match explodes. I consult the crew, swallow my ego, disallow the goal, and deal with the reality that doing the “right” procedural thing can still look terrible to players, coaches, and fans. If you care about soccer officiating, NFHS rules, playoff game management, referee mindset, and getting back up after a rough night, this one is for you. Subscribe, share it with a referee friend, and leave a review with the toughest lesson you’ve learned on the field. Support the show

    29 min

  3. APR 16

    Brand New at 42 with Holly Jimenez - It's Never Too Late To Be Great!

    Send us Fan Mail The hardest part of picking up a whistle as an adult isn’t learning the signals, it’s walking onto the field while everyone assumes you’ve done this forever. Holly Jimenez knows that feeling firsthand. She starts refereeing at 42, feels the nerves at U9 games, makes the kind of mistakes that haunt you on the drive home, and still keeps showing up until her experience builds and the confidence grows. We get into how she goes from local youth soccer to top level assignments like MLS NEXT environments and semi-pro matches in the WPSL and UPSL, including what changes when you’re in a stadium with real crowds and veteran officials. Holly breaks down the pieces that accelerate referee development: mentors who give honest feedback, assigners who challenge you at the right pace, and the mindset shift of treating mistakes as part of referee training rather than proof you don’t belong. Holly also brings a unique edge to soccer officiating: she’s a longtime Spanish teacher, and her ability to speak Spanish can instantly cool down dissent, build rapport, and even catch the sideline when people assume the referee won’t understand. We also talk directly about the reality of being a female referee, the sexism that still shows up on touchlines, and why communities like the Female Referee Organization of Georgia matter for retention, safety, and growth. If you care about better game management, stronger support for referees, and getting more women into officiating, you’ll take something practical from this conversation. Subscribe, share this with a referee friend, and leave a review so more officials can find the show. Support the show

    45 min

  4. APR 5

    What Elite FIFA Officials Can Teach Grassroots Referees with Jan Aravirtra, Referee Academy

    Send us Fan Mail The fastest way to level up as a soccer referee is not learning one more obscure law, it is learning how to handle people when the match te. I’m joined by Jan Aravitra, a former FIFA international referee from Finland with nearly two decades at the top level, including UEFA competitions and World Cup qualifiers. We get into the behind-the-scenes reality of working with different crews, different cultures, and different communication styles, especially from the perspective of an elite assistant referee. We talk about focus in hostile environments, and how you can “block out the noise” without ignoring the emotional temperature of the benches and spectators. Jan explains why players care so much about being treated fairly, how repeated moments can snowball into dissent, and what experienced officials do to keep the game balanced and under control. We also dig into practical man management: when to build rapport, when to stay composed, why yelling back never works, and how the best referees set clear borders without turning the match into a debate. Then we shift into referee education and development. Jan shares why he built the Referee Academy, how video feedback and live clip discussions accelerate learning for grassroots referees, and why community is a key factor in referee retention and mental health. If you’re a new ref trying to survive your first seasons or a veteran trying to mentor others, you’ll take away specific habits you can use on your very next match. If this helps you, subscribe for more conversations like this, share it with a referee who needs support, and leave a review so more officials can find the show. Support the show

    48 min

  5. MAR 13

    Premier League Referee Scott Ledger on Longevity, Learning and Love of the Game

    Send us Fan Mail A soldier-turned-official sets a six-year goal to reach the Premier League—and makes it! Then he does an even rarer thing: he stays for over 15 years! We sit down with Scott Ledger, a 500+ appearance Premier League Assistant Referee and FA Cup Final appointee, to unpack the craft behind elite officiating—how preparation, humility, and sharp eyes under pressure create credibility when tens of thousands are judging every move. Scott takes us inside the modern toolkit: pre-match data packs that map set-piece patterns and passing lanes, film study to anticipate offside traps and screens, and the small human edge of knowing players’ first names to defuse tension. He breaks down why “looking switched on” matters as much as getting the call right, especially for assistant referees who spend long stretches semi-active but must sell a complex decision in a heartbeat. We also explore the mental game of VAR: delayed flags, instant feedback, and the rubber-band reset that helps him let go of the last check and lock in for the next one. From fitness to field craft, Scott explains the lateral speed work, GPS targets, and position resets that keep him aligned with lightning-fast wingers. He shares the culture shock of moving from Sunday League to the Premier League’s event-level logistics, plus a fan encounter that turned into a mini laws seminar. And he pitches a smart IFAB tweak to curb time-wasting on goalkeeper “injuries” by forcing a teammate to leave—small changes that could protect game flow without gimmicks from goalkeepers. It’s a candid, practical masterclass for referees, coaches, and football obsessives who want to see the game with clearer eyes. If you value preparation, composure, and the pursuit of marginal gains, this conversation will sharpen how you watch—and how you work. If you've enjoyed it, please follow the show, share with a ref friend, and leave a quick review to help more people find us. Support the show

    49 min

  6. FEB 25

    Respect The Call, Change The Game with Kari Seitz, VP of Referees for US Soccer

    Send us Fan Mail Abusive sidelines don’t fix bad calls—and they’re driving referees out of the game. We sat down with U.S. Soccer’s Vice President of Referees, Kari Seitz, to break down how “Respect the Call” and Policy 531-9 are changing that story with clear standards, real accountability, and education designed for today’s crews. We start with the foundation: knowing the difference between a raw emotional reaction and dissent. That clarity matters because early, consistent action keeps matches from spiraling. Kari explains the new video series that teaches practical skills most officials never learn in class—how to read tone and proximity, how to set boundaries, and even how to show a card with presence so your message lands the first time. You’ll hear why empowering young and new referees to act decisively is the single best way to prevent escalation and protect the flow of the game. From there, we zoom out to the system. Kari walks us through centralized reporting for abuse, fair and age-appropriate sanctions, and league adoption that extends to parents on the touchline. We also explore the U.S. Refereeing Way, a national push to unify instruction and mechanics so referees in California and Georgia get the same guidance on AR positioning, dissent management, and match control. Think modern training modules, shareable vertical videos, and a future “referee passport” to track experience, education, and progression—less guesswork, more support. If you’ve ever wondered how to stop the churn of officials, this conversation shows the roadmap: consistent definitions, confident enforcement, and a culture that treats referees as essential to soccer. Watch the new Respect the Call videos, share them with your club, and put the standards into practice. We need your help! Support the show

    44 min

  7. FEB 15

    Inside Video Review with Greg Barkey, Head of VAR for PRO

    Send us Fan Mail Ever wonder what “clear and obvious” actually means when the stakes are high and the clock is running? We bring you a rare, candid look inside MLS video review with Greg Barkey, the head of VAR at PRO. Greg shares how the system was built in the United States—from early scrimmages with eight cameras at a local park to the first monitor review at Red Bull Arena—and why the guiding principle remains simple: to correct clear and obvious errors without re-refereeing the match. We dig into the humanity officiating: game management over pure decision making, context over freeze frames, and game management considerations on red cards. Greg explains the concise language that keeps the booth calm and fast—kick point, point of contact, APP, and the all-important “check complete”—and why MLS sends referees to the monitor even on offside. You’ll hear why PRO avoids drawn lines, how their crews judge offside with geometry and field cues, and how that choice protects the flow and preserves goals. We also talk pressure in the booth, the shift to a centralized “Varlington” hub in Texas, and the weekly clip sessions that calibrate judgment across hundreds of games. If you’ve ever argued about soft penalties, complained about slow-mo making fouls look worse, or wondered why one hold is called and another isn’t, this conversation brings clarity. Greg even floats a provocative idea for changing offside around advantage and impact rather than millimeters—aiming for simpler calls and more goals. Along the way, we trade stories about respect for referees, the small thanks that keep people in the game, and the balance between technology and trust. Enjoy the deep dive, share it with a soccer friend who lives in the comments, and help us grow by subscribing and leaving a quick review. What would you change about VAR or offside tomorrow? Tell us. Support the show

    1h 3m

  8. FEB 10

    Inside Sunday League with Eric Edge from "Behind The Whistle"

    Send us Fan Mail Ever wonder what a referee actually says to defuse tenssions—or how it feels to make a split-second call with no assistants and 22 players demanding an answer? We sit down with Eric Edge, the former semi-pro goalkeeper behind the viral channel Behind The Whistle, to unpack the real craft of Sunday League officiating: honesty that cools tempers, foul selection that protects the game, and transparency that turns critics into collaborators. Eric explains why he films every match and posts full breakdowns, not as a highlight reel but as a learning lab. We explore safe refereeing—giving the decision football expects in high-risk areas—without smothering the flow, and how early, consistent thresholds prevent escalation. From the sin bin’s deterrent power to the difference between a quick outburst and persistent dissent, Eric shows how calm language, private chats, and a little humor can steer volatile adult matches back on course. We go inside the unique chaos of club linesmen: when they elevate credibility by flagging against their own team, and when poor positioning or bias forces tough overruls. We talk fitness demands that rival box-to-box midfielders, the mental bandwidth needed to keep angles and advantage straight, and the way tech—video, body cams, and, where allowed, comms—can protect officials and teach the next generation the “gold” of game management dialogue. Elite support, from former UEFA and World Cup officials, highlights a broader shift toward accountability and empathy. If you’re a player on the fence about refereeing, Eric makes a compelling case: you’ll rediscover the buzz, build community, and use your feel for contact to excel with the whistle. We also share practical resources—from gear that saves your feet to smarter assigning tools—that make long Saturdays workable and safer. Subscribe, share this story with a teammate who argues every call, and leave a review with your biggest officiating takeaway—what part of the referee’s job do you see differently now? Support the show

    1h 2m
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4.8
out of 5
51 Ratings

About

An honest perspective from the 3rd team on the pitch... the referees. Through humor, analysis and education, we are slowly changing how people view referees and officials in all sports. We care and have a love for the game as much as any player or coach. Sometimes even more. Youth soccer (proper football) is a multi-billion $ industry in the US. Tremendous money is spent on players, competitions, travel etc., but almost nothing spent on developing the next generation of referees. I hope that this Podcast inspires, educates and humanizes the next generation of referees for their own development and appreciation from the players, coaches and spectators they need to work alongside. 

Information

  • Creator
    David Gerson
  • Years Active
    2022 - 2026
  • Episodes
    105
  • Rating
    Clean
  • Copyright
    © 2026 REFS NEED LOVE TOO
  • Show Website
    REFS NEED LOVE TOO

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