In this episode, I talk with business coach and servant leadership educator Debbie Heiser about why risky conversations are often the doorway to our greatest freedom, fulfillment, and financial growth. We explore how subconscious “loyalty pacts,” double binds, and competence-as-survival strategies keep high-achieving women over-functioning, under-receiving, and burning out. Debbie also shares how she helps clients work with their nervous systems, embrace play over hustle, and step into an aligned “lit up life” where clarity truly becomes currency. What you'll learn: How risky conversations can lead to deeper, more meaningful relationships, personal freedom, and major professional turning points (e.g., Debbie telling her boss/friend she could no longer afford to stay as CFO, which catalyzed her full‑time coaching business and significant revenue growth).Why subconscious beliefs and “loyalty pacts” matter: Debbie explained concepts like double binds (conflicting desires such as security vs entrepreneurship) and loyalty pacts (feeling disloyal if you “prove someone wrong”), and how early family stories and cultural conditioning shape subconscious beliefs about worth, safety, and what’s possible—often limiting women and people socialized as women.How competence can become a survival strategy (and a trap): We discussed how many high-achieving women over-rely on competence—constant certifications, over-preparation, over-functioning—as a way to feel safe, which masks deeper issues of self-worth and receiving (including receiving money) and keeps them stuck in burnout rather than aligned, confident leadership.How Debbie coaches clients to work with their nervous system and beliefs: Debbie uses tools like nature walks, perspective-taking frameworks (inspired by indigenous medicine wheel concepts), deep exploration of family-of-origin stories, and gratitude practices to help clients slow down, surface subconscious narratives, and then unwind and rewrite those beliefs.Why play and presence are essential antidotes to hustle and burnout: We contrasted “hustle” (pressure, urgency, victim-y to-do lists) with an approach where play, fun, and presence are central. Debbie argued that work is never “done,” especially for entrepreneurs, so tying play to “after the work” guarantees burnout; instead, integrating joy and play into life and business actually attracts more clients, money, and sustainable success.Featured: Join Debbie's free monthly masterclass called The Embodied CEO: https://thelituplife.com/attractionBook a free 1:1 consultation for executive coaching with Jamie Lee: https://www.jamieleecoach.com/applyText me your thoughts on this episode! Enjoy the show? Don't miss an episode, listen and subscribe via Apple Podcasts or Spotify. Leave me a review in Apple Podcasts. Connect with me Book a free hour-long consultation with me. You'll leave with your custom blueprint to confidence, and we'll ensure it's a slam-dunk fit for you before you commit to working with me 1:1. Connect with me on LinkedIn Email me at jamie@jamieleecoach.com
