Girl, Just Feel Podcast with Dr. Ajene Gailliard

Dr. Ajene M. Gailliard
  • 5.0 (2)
  • Mental Health
  • Updated Semiweekly

What if the very thing you’ve been trying to suppress is actually where your healing begins? You’ve learned how to be strong. You carry it all, show up, and keep going, no matter what’s happening inside. Your faith matters to you. You’ve prayed. You’ve trusted God. You’ve believed His Word, but if you’re honest, the peace you’ve been believing for still feels just out of reach. And somewhere along the way, you started to believe that if you really had faith, you wouldn’t feel this way at all. But what if your emotions aren’t the problem? What if they’ve never been? On the Girl, Just Feel Podcast, I’m inviting you into a different way of healing. One that doesn’t require you to silence your or control your emotions to prove your faith. I’m Dr. Ajene Gailliard, a licensed mental health professional, minister, sacred social scientist, and your big sister. Each episode, I walk with you through the truth about emotions, faith, and healing, while bringing together biblical wisdom and psychological insight in a way that finally makes sense. Here, you’ll begin to understand that healing isn’t about getting rid of pain. It’s about learning how to navigate and integrate all your feelings, without fear. We’re going to challenge the belief that you have to control your emotions and confront the lie that emotional pain means spiritual failure. I want to help you experience what it actually looks like for your faith and your emotional life to work together and no longer be at war. If you’ve mastered showing up for everyone else, but still feel disconnected from yourself, you’re in the right place.

  1. 4d ago

    EP 042: What’s Really Keeping You From Becoming Who You Were Created to Be?

    Have you ever known there was more in you, but for some reason, you keep holding yourself back? You know God has given you gifts. You know there are things you’re capable of doing. You may even have opportunities right in front of you, but something inside keeps telling you that you’re not quite good enough, ready enough, talented enough, or whatever enough. I know that feeling. In this episode, I’m sharing something I’ve been recognizing in my own life through my relationship with music and singing. I’ve been singing practically my whole life, and yet somewhere along the way, I started believing that other people were better than me. No one necessarily told me that. It was a story I told myself, believed, and eventually started living from. And that story did more than affect how I saw my talent. It affected the opportunities I was willing to accept. I actually auditioned for a lead role in high school, got the part, and turned it down because being in the background felt safer than being seen. Sometimes what keeps us from becoming who God created us to be isn’t what’s happening around us. It’s what’s happening within us. The lies we’ve believed. The wounds we’ve buried. And the tactics we’ve learned to protect ourselves that may have once felt safe, but are now keeping us small. This episode is about beginning to recognize those patterns and asking whether the identity you’ve been living from is actually who you are, or simply who you learned to be. Because maybe you really are enough. Maybe you really do have enough. And maybe God really has created you for more. Life Work Identify three things: One lie you’ve been telling yourself. One wound you’ve been hiding. One tactic you’ve been using to protect yourself that may no longer be serving you. Then see if you can find the thread connecting them. What have they caused you to believe about who you are? And what might change if you started believing that you really are enough, you really do have enough, and God has actually created you for more?

  2. Sep 20

    EP 041: I Trust God, But I’m Still Anxious: Can Faith and Feelings Coexist?

    I have a confession. After spending the last few episodes talking about pain and learning to pay attention to what I need, I had to actually live it. And it wasn’t nearly as easy as I made it sound. I found myself dealing with a situation I couldn’t fix, couldn’t control, and honestly just wanted to be over. I was frustrated. I was angry. I was anxious. But what surprised me most was that I felt ashamed for feeling any of it. Somewhere along the way, I had picked up this idea that if I really trusted God, I shouldn’t be anxious. I should just pray, believe His Word, and be okay. But what I’m learning is that both things can be true. I can trust God and still be concerned. I can know He is good and still be disappointed with what’s happening. I can have faith and still have feelings. So this episode is me living out what I’ve been sharing with you. No pretending. No rushing past what hurts to get to “God is good.” Just learning that God is good even when I’m hurt, even when I’m frustrated, and even when I don’t know how things are going to work out. You're right. I left out the Life Work, which we've been consistently including. And the transcript gives us exactly what it should be: identifying one place where you've been ashamed to admit what you actually feel. Life Work: Think about one area of your life where you’ve been afraid to face what you really feel because you’ve told yourself you shouldn’t feel that way. Just choose one. Maybe you’re angry. Maybe you’re disappointed. Maybe you’re anxious, sad, frustrated, or afraid. Instead of judging it or trying to make yourself feel something different, acknowledge it. Be honest with yourself about what you feel, and then be honest with God about it. You don’t have to pretend with Him. And you don’t have to be ashamed of what you feel.

  3. Aug 9

    Ep 040: PAIN: Pay Attention, I Need Part 2

    Where have you ignored what you actually needed and called it strength? Many of us have learned to look capable, productive, dependable, and strong while silently suffering underneath it all. We keep performing, providing, protecting, and taking care of everyone else, but we rarely stop long enough to ask what is driving all that striving. I'm sharing how my desire to create a safe and stable home for my family was connected to needs from my own childhood that I had never fully faced. Wanting a home was not wrong. But because I did not understand the pain underneath that desire, I began treating the outcome as proof of whether I was a good wife, mother, and provider. And when I could not make it happen as quickly as I wanted, I felt like a failure. Sometimes we overperform because we are trying to make up for something we never received. We pursue the home, degree, promotion, relationship, success, or recognition, hoping it will finally satisfy a need we have not identified or addressed. But pain is not the problem. Pain is communication. Pain is inviting us to pay attention to what is missing, what has gone unaddressed, and what we actually need. There is nothing wrong with having a need. The problem comes when we ignore it, judge ourselves for it, or try to compensate for it through constant striving. In This Episode We’re talking about the difference between genuine strength and silent suffering, how unmet needs can fuel overachievement, and why our accomplishments do not always come from a healthy place. I share how my need for safety and security influenced the way I pursued housing, cared for my family, and judged myself during a difficult season. We also explore how emotional, physical, and relational pain can reveal needs for rest, support, boundaries, safety, connection, and healing. Healing begins when we stop confusing strength with striving. Life Work Where have you been showing up as “the strong one”? Where have you continued to perform, produce, protect, or provide for others when you did not have what you needed yourself? Write down what you have been carrying and ask yourself: Was this ever mine to carry alone?

  4. Jul 26

    EP 039: PAIN: Pay Attention, I Need Part 1

    What if pain is not the problem? So many of us have learned to treat pain like an enemy. We try to fix it, suppress it, medicate it, pray it away, or escape whatever we believe is causing it. We assume that if we are hurting, something must be wrong with us, our relationships, our faith, or our lives. But in this episode, I’m inviting you to see pain differently. Pain is not always proof that something is broken. Sometimes pain is communication. It is an invitation to pay attention to a need that has not yet been met. P.A.I.N. Pay Attention, I Need I share how this revelation has changed the way I understand chronic physical pain, marriage, parenting, unmet expectations, stress, trauma, and emotional healing. We also talk about why the presence of pain does not automatically mean you are in the wrong place, doing the wrong thing, or failing God. The gospel itself is not a story without pain. It is a story of God entering pain, meeting us there, and bringing life through it. Pain may not be the interruption we thought it was. It may actually be the pathway to healing, growth, deeper connection, and the provision we need. In This Episode: We talk about the expectations that make pain feel like failure, especially in marriage, health, parenting, finances, and faith. I unpack the difference between trying to eliminate pain and becoming curious about what it is communicating. I also share why unmet needs can sometimes be more damaging than the painful event itself, how pain can act as a protector, and why meeting the need often changes our relationship with the pain. This episode is not asking you to glorify suffering or remain in harmful situations. It is an invitation to stop judging yourself for having needs and begin listening for what your pain may be trying to reveal. Life Work: Ask yourself two questions: What pain am I in? What does that pain tell me I need? Look at your body, relationships, faith, finances, parenting, work, and the other areas of your life. Do not judge what you find. Do not rush to fix it. Just pay attention.

  5. Jul 12

    EP 038: Girl, I Didn't Want to Get Married

    What if the difficulty you’re facing is not proof that something has gone wrong? What if it’s part of how God is growing you? In this episode, I’m sharing honestly about marriage, motherhood, obedience, and the pain that made me want to avoid all three. I didn’t grow up dreaming about getting married and having children. In fact, I had already decided that the safest way to avoid being hurt—or hurting anyone else—was not to enter those relationships at all. But then God asked me to say yes. What I didn’t understand was that saying yes to God would not protect me from challenges. I thought obedience meant everything should work out easily. So when marriage, parenting, finances, health, and life became difficult, I began questioning whether I had made the wrong decision. But sometimes difficulty doesn’t mean you are in the wrong place. Sometimes it means God is using the very place you are in to expose the lies you believe, stretch your capacity, mature you, and heal the parts of you that pain taught to hide. We’re talking about the difference between consequences and growth, the need to control outcomes, and the lie that says, “If I want it done right, I have to do it myself.” We’re also looking at how pain can lead us to create counterfeit solutions that feel safe but keep us from the relationships and experiences God designed us to have. Life Work: What counterfeits have you created in your own life? What have you decided you will or will not do because you are trying to avoid pain, protect yourself, or control an outcome? Write it down. Sit with it. Pray over it. And ask God to show you whether the thing you created to keep yourself safe is also keeping you from the life He is calling you to live.

  6. Jun 28

    EP 037: He Covered Us

    I’m sharing something a little more personal in this episode. I talk about how God meets us in the middle of our pain, shame, fear, and unanswered questions. We’re looking at Genesis 3 and the fall of man, but not just from the perspective of sin and separation. I want us to pay attention to how God responded after Adam and Eve hid themselves in shame. He questioned them, corrected them, challenged them. But He also covered them. And that matters. Because so many of us are carrying pain we think we should not still have. Pain in our bodies. Pain in our relationships. Pain in our families. Pain in our finances. Pain in places where we prayed, believed, worked hard, did what we knew to do, and still did not get the outcome we hoped for. But pain does not mean God has abandoned you. And pain does not mean you are not enough. In this episode, I share honestly about living with chronic physical pain, the shame that can come with still needing help, and the comfort I find in knowing that God understands exactly where we are. He knows how He made us. He knows our limits. He knows our bodies, our emotions, our systems, our relationships, and our needs. And just like He covered Adam and Eve, He still covers us. Life Work:Write a prayer of thanksgiving for the ways God has cared for you and covered you. It can be a few lines or a few pages. Just be honest. Where have you seen Him cover you? Where has He cared for you? Where has He met you, even while you were still carrying pain?

  7. Jun 15

    EP 036: Are Emotions Bad?

    In this episode, we’re talking about one of the biggest myths many of us have believed about emotions: that they are either good or bad. But what if emotions aren’t good or bad at all? What if they’re simply information? Today, I’m unpacking why emotions and feelings should not be judged as positive or negative, and why that kind of language can actually make us afraid of the very thing God gave us to help us pay attention. Emotions are bodily responses. Feelings are the meaning we assign to those responses. And neither one is sinful, shameful, or something we have to run from. Instead of calling feelings good or bad, I want to invite us to see them as pleasurable or painful. Pleasurable feelings often show us where a need has been met. Painful feelings often show us where a need has not been met yet. And that changes everything. Because pain does not always mean something is wrong. Sometimes pain simply means there is something we need. In this episode, I also talk about hunger pains, emotional needs, anger, boundaries, grief, and how Jesus modeled the full spectrum of feelings without sin. This is an invitation to stop judging what you feel and start getting curious about what your feelings may be communicating. Life Work: Write down every feeling word you can think of. Excited. Angry. Sad. Frustrated. Joyful. Hurt. Peaceful. Disappointed. Whatever comes to mind. Don’t judge the words. Don’t separate them into good or bad. Just write them down and begin noticing the full spectrum of feelings God created you to experience.

  8. Jun 7

    EP 035: Is That Trauma?

    Today we’re talking about trauma. What it is, what it isn’t, and why so many of us misunderstand it. Trauma is not simply the worst thing that happened to you. It’s not measured by how tragic the event was, and it’s not a competition over who had it worse. Trauma is what happens inside of you as a result of what happened to you. It’s how overwhelming stress changes your body, your beliefs, your nervous system, your relationships, and even your sense of safety. In this episode, I’m unpacking why two people can go through the same event and walk away with completely different internal experiences. We’ll talk about the difference between a difficult event and a traumatic response, why some of what we call “personality” may actually be survival adaptation, and how things like high achievement, people-pleasing, hyper-independence, emotional numbness, and perfectionism can sometimes be responses to overwhelming stress. I also share pieces of my own story, including how early experiences shaped my sense of safety, my achievement patterns, and the way I learned to survive. But this conversation is not about staying stuck in what happened. It’s about hope. Because if something changed you once, healing can change you again. Life Work: If there is something traumatic that happened in your life that still feels unresolved, I want to gently encourage you to seek support. Find a qualified, trained mental health professional who can help you process, heal, and begin to move forward. You do not have to stay captive to your past. Healing is possible. Growth is possible. And what overwhelmed you does not have to define the rest of your story.

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What if the very thing you’ve been trying to suppress is actually where your healing begins? You’ve learned how to be strong. You carry it all, show up, and keep going, no matter what’s happening inside. Your faith matters to you. You’ve prayed. You’ve trusted God. You’ve believed His Word, but if you’re honest, the peace you’ve been believing for still feels just out of reach. And somewhere along the way, you started to believe that if you really had faith, you wouldn’t feel this way at all. But what if your emotions aren’t the problem? What if they’ve never been? On the Girl, Just Feel Podcast, I’m inviting you into a different way of healing. One that doesn’t require you to silence your or control your emotions to prove your faith. I’m Dr. Ajene Gailliard, a licensed mental health professional, minister, sacred social scientist, and your big sister. Each episode, I walk with you through the truth about emotions, faith, and healing, while bringing together biblical wisdom and psychological insight in a way that finally makes sense. Here, you’ll begin to understand that healing isn’t about getting rid of pain. It’s about learning how to navigate and integrate all your feelings, without fear. We’re going to challenge the belief that you have to control your emotions and confront the lie that emotional pain means spiritual failure. I want to help you experience what it actually looks like for your faith and your emotional life to work together and no longer be at war. If you’ve mastered showing up for everyone else, but still feel disconnected from yourself, you’re in the right place.

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