we're diving into a summary of Chapter 2 from Terri Cole's incredible new book, Too Much: A Guide to Breaking the Cycle of High-Functioning Codependency. If you've ever felt that relentless push to do more, give more, and be more, often leaving you feeling drained and unseen, then this is for you. Chapter 2 is a real game-changer, laying out the subtle ways we might be sacrificing our own peace, even when we think we're just being "good" or "helpful." We'll be looking at what high-functioning codependency truly means, how to tell the difference between healthy caring and codependent patterns, and a really insightful concept So, let's get into the highlights of Chapter 2 and uncover some powerful truths that can genuinely shift how you relate to yourself and others. Segment 1: What is High-Functioning Codependency? Host: In the book, Terri Cole makes it clear that high-functioning codependency, or HFC, isn't what most people think of when they hear "codependent." It's not about being helpless or unable to function. Quite the opposite! HFCs are often the most capable, reliable, and successful individuals – they're the ones everyone turns to. But the core of HFC, as explained in Chapter 2, is an over-investment in the external world. This means being overly focused on the feelings, situations, and circumstances of others, usually to the detriment of your own internal peace. This constant outward focus uses up immense time, energy, and emotional bandwidth. It's often an unconscious drive to manage, fix, or please others, even if it's disguised as genuine care. Segment 2: Caring vs. Codependent – The Key Difference Host: This chapter also draws a really crucial line between healthy caring and codependent behavior. We're all wired to care, and that's a beautiful thing. But Terri suggests the biggest differentiator lies in your motivation and your boundaries. Healthy caring comes from a place of genuine desire to support, with respect for the other person's autonomy. You give from a place of abundance, you maintain your boundaries, and you don't expect a specific outcome. Codependent "caring," conversely, often springs from fear, obligation, or a deep need to be needed. You might be "helping" to avoid conflict, to get approval, or out of a fear of what might happen if you don't step in. This often leads to over-investment in another's outcomes, blurring your personal boundaries. Terri encourages us to ask ourselves: "Why am I doing this? How do I truly feel after? Am I expecting something in return? Did they even ask for my help?" These questions help reveal the true driver behind our actions. Need a therapist? Check us out at www.strideforwardcounseling.com
