Fragmented to Whole: Life Lessons from 12 Step Recovery

Barb Nangle
  • 4.7 (12)
  • MENTAL HEALTH
  • UPDATED WEEKLY

Tired of feeling fragmented and overwhelmed? Fragmented to Whole: Life Lessons from 12-Step Recovery is your guide to creating a life of wholeness, authenticity, and healthy boundaries. Join Barb Nangle, a boundaries  coach and speaker, as she shares raw and honest insights from her own journey and the principles of 12-step recovery. Discover how to set boundaries without guilt or shame, overcome people-pleasing tendencies, manage your emotions effectively, cultivate a stronger sense of self, and build healthier relationships. Barb's approach is raw, honest, and sometimes a little bit (okay, a lot) sweary.   Barb doesn't speak for or endorse any particular 12 step program of recovery. Though she's a huge fan of 12 step recovery, and a member of two 12 step fellowships, she cannot speak for them. If you're ready for real talk and practical tools for transformation, tune in! To learn more about Barb, go to https://higherpowercc.com/

  1. 3D AGO

    How to Build Emotional Boundaries That Keep You Whole | Episode 339

    Send a text In this week’s episode of the Fragmented to Whole Podcast, I’m exploring what it really means to be whole and how emotional boundaries are what make that wholeness possible. Inspired by the image of a plant that is always changing yet never fragmented, we look at the difference between being unfinished and being fractured. Wholeness is not about being calm all the time or having everything figured out. It’s about integration. It’s about not abandoning yourself as you evolve. Some of the talking points I go over in this episode include: Why wholeness does not mean finished, but integratedThe difference between fragmentation and changeHow emotional boundaries allow feelings to move through you without taking you overWhy outgrowing identities like “the responsible one” or “the peacemaker” can feel like dyingHow internal safety allows you to stay with yourself through anger, grief, fear, and growthWholeness is not the absence of emotion. It’s the absence of self-abandonment in the presence of emotion. You don’t need to be finished to be whole. You don’t need to be stable in every moment to be unshakable. You are allowed to evolve without losing yourself. Be sure to tune in to all the episodes for grounded insight on emotional maturity, boundaries, and building a life that feels integrated instead of fragmented. Thank you for listening. If this episode resonated, take a screenshot and share it in your stories, tag me, and let me know what stood out. And don’t forget to follow, rate, and review the podcast. Learn more about Fragmented to Whole at: https://higherpowercc.com/podcast/ Feeling drained? Take my free Boundaries Drain Quiz to find out where your energy is leaking and how to reclaim it: https://higherpowercc.com/drain/ CONNECT WITH BARB NANGLE: Subscribe to “Friday Fragments” weekly newsletter Linkedin Work with Barb!  Book a “Say No Without Guilt” Session

    12 min

  2. FEB 9

    Why Avoiding Discomfort Keeps You Stuck and How to Get Unstuck | Episode 338

    Send us a text In this week’s episode of the Fragmented to Whole Podcast, I’m unpacking a topic that sits at the core of emotional healing and change: discomfort. Not all discomfort is the same, and confusing them is one of the main reasons people stay stuck far longer than they need to. One form of discomfort is the kind that keeps us trapped, the other is the kind that helps us grow. This episode is about learning how to tell the difference between chronic, soul-draining discomfort and the finite discomfort that leads to real healing, and how internal safety and support make all the difference. Some of the talking points I go over in this episode include: The difference between the endless discomfort of staying stuck and the temporary discomfort that comes with growth and changeWhy experiential avoidance numbs not only pain, but also joy, meaning, and alivenessHow manageable discomfort creates learning, flow, and forward movement instead of shutdownWhy a “safe base,” internally and externally, is essential for sustainable growthHow boundaries, emotional regulation, and support systems create the safety needed to tolerate changeDiscomfort isn’t the enemy. But unsupported, overwhelming discomfort keeps us frozen. When you choose the finite discomfort of growth and pair it with enough safety, healing becomes possible and sustainable. Be sure to tune in to all the episodes for grounded insights, emotional tools, and practical guidance on living a more whole and connected life. Thank you for listening. If this episode resonated, take a screenshot and share it in your stories, tag me, and let me know what stood out. And don’t forget to follow, rate, and review the podcast. Learn more about Fragmented to Whole at: https://higherpowercc.com/podcast/ Feeling drained or stuck? Take my free Boundaries Drain Quiz to find out where your energy is leaking and how to reclaim it: https://higherpowercc.com/drain/ Katja Cahoon’s website CONNECT WITH BARB NANGLE: Subscribe to “Friday Fragments” weekly newsletter Linkedin Work with Barb!  Book a “Say No Without Guilt” Session

    15 min
  3. How Internal Safety Changes Your Emotional World | Episode 337

    FEB 2

    How Internal Safety Changes Your Emotional World | Episode 337

    Send us a text In this week’s episode of the Fragmented to Whole Podcast, I’m exploring what actually shifts when emotional safety stops coming from outside of you and starts being built internally. We talk about how our relationship with emotions changes when we stop using them as evidence about other people and start listening to them as information about ourselves. Some of the talking points I go over in this episode include: Why emotions are not verdicts about other people, but internal signals pointing to our needs, limits, and values.How growing up without emotional guidance leads us to scan the outside world for safety instead of developing self-trust.Why resentment, anxiety, guilt, and numbness are forms of information, not character flaws or signs that something is wrong with you.How repeatedly asking yourself “What do I want or need?” builds self-trust and internal safety over time.Why internal safety quiets emotional chaos and allows you to respond instead of react.When emotions stop being emergencies and start becoming messages, everything changes. You no longer need to fix others, suppress yourself, or abandon your needs to feel okay. Internal safety allows you to turn inward, listen, and respond from alignment instead of fear. Be sure to tune in to all the episodes to receive tons of practical tools for building emotional safety, setting boundaries, and living a more whole, grounded life. Thank you for listening. If this episode resonated, take a screenshot and share it in your stories. Tag me and let me know what stood out for you. And don’t forget to follow, rate, and review the podcast. Learn more about Fragmented to Whole at: https://higherpowercc.com/podcast/ Feeling emotionally drained or overwhelmed? Take my free Boundaries Drain Quiz to find out where your energy is leaking and how to reclaim it: https://higherpowercc.com/drain/ CONNECT WITH BARB NANGLE: Subscribe to “Friday Fragments” weekly newsletter Linkedin Work with Barb!  Book a “Say No Without Guilt” Session

    14 min
  4. Learn to Tolerate Ease: How Compassion Softened What Pressure Never Could | Episode 336

    JAN 26

    Learn to Tolerate Ease: How Compassion Softened What Pressure Never Could | Episode 336

    Send us a text In this week’s episode of the Fragmented to Whole Podcast, I’m sharing a deeply personal realization about how long I treated myself like a project instead of a person, and how learning to tolerate ease required far more courage than pushing ever did. This episode isn’t about productivity, optimization, or mindset. It’s about what happens when compassion reaches places that pressure never could, and how shame begins to release when the nervous system finally feels contextualized and safe. Some of the talking points I go over in this episode include: How treating yourself like a project quietly creates an internal atmosphere of evaluation and self-judgmentThe difference between using practices to support yourself versus using them to correct yourselfWhy avoidance and procrastination are often protection, not self-sabotageHow fear is information, not prophecy, and why it doesn’t get to run your lifeWhat changes when something that lived wordlessly in the body is finally met with language, compassion, and boundariesYou’re not failing at ease. You’re learning to tolerate it. And that learning isn’t about doing more or getting it right faster. It’s about creating enough internal safety to inhabit your own life without urgency, self-attack, or shame. Be sure to tune in to all the episodes for reflections, recovery insights, and gentle reminders that real change happens through context, not force. Thank you for listening. If this episode resonated, take a screenshot, share it in your stories, and tag me. And don’t forget to follow, rate, and review the podcast and share your key takeaways. Learn more about Fragmented to Whole at https://higherpowercc.com/podcast/ Feeling drained? Take my free Boundaries Drain Quiz to see where your energy is leaking and how to reclaim it: https://higherpowercc.com/drain/ CONNECT WITH BARB NANGLE: Subscribe to “Friday Fragments” weekly newsletter Linkedin Work with Barb!  Book a “Say No Without Guilt” Session

    15 min

  5. JAN 19

    The Art of Listening: How to Break Free from Chronic Conflict Loops | Episode 335

    Send us a text In this week’s episode of the Fragmented to Whole Podcast, I’m talking about why so many couples get stuck having the same arguments over and over, and how real listening isn’t about communication techniques, but about the assumptions we bring into the conversation before we ever open our mouths. This episode explores how internal safety, meaning-making, and unmanaged expectations quietly fuel chronic conflict loops in long-term relationships. Some of the talking points I go over in this episode include: Why chronic conflict is usually about exhaustion and meaning, not poor communication skillsHow collapsing disagreement into disrespect escalates fights and shuts down listeningThe danger of assigning meaning to behavior before actually communicatingWhy difference is not a boundary violation and does not need to be “fixed”How internal safety allows you to tolerate difference without panic or controlIf you find yourself stuck in chronic conflict loops, I want you to gently ask yourself a few questions. Where am I assuming disrespect instead of difference?What meaning am I assigning before I’ve actually communicated?Am I trying to be understood, or am I trying to change who my partner is?Listening doesn’t mean agreement. It doesn’t mean sameness. It means making room for difference without turning it into a problem that needs to be solved. When we stop trying to win and start trying to understand, connection becomes possible again. Be sure to tune in to all the episodes for practical tools, recovery insights, and real-life examples of what it means to live a more whole life. Thank you for listening. If this episode resonated, take a screenshot, share it in your stories, and tag me. And don’t forget to follow, rate, and review the podcast and share your key takeaways. Learn more about Fragmented to Whole at https://higherpowercc.com/podcast/ Feeling drained? Take my free Boundaries Drain Quiz to see where your energy is leaking and how to reclaim it: https://higherpowercc.com/drain/ CONNECT WITH BARB NANGLE: Subscribe to “Friday Fragments” weekly newsletter Linkedin Work with Barb!  Book a “Say No Without Guilt” Session

    13 min

  6. JAN 12

    How to Change Your Love Life by Becoming Emotionally Available | Episode 334

    Send us a text In this week’s episode of the Fragmented to Whole Podcast, I’m sharing a powerful realization from my own recovery journey: the pattern of emotionally unavailable partners wasn’t just about who I was choosing, it was about my own emotional availability. For years, I believed I was unlucky in love. Through ACA recovery and a deep relationship inventory, I discovered how my nervous system, conditioning, and avoidance of emotions were shaping my relationships far more than I realized. Some of the talking points I go over in this episode include: Why attracting emotionally unavailable partners is often a sign of emotional unavailability within yourself.How ACA Step Four and the concept of causes and conditions revealed my relationship patterns.The role of emotional avoidance, numbing, and codependence in romantic dynamics.How emotions like resentment are signals, not verdicts, and what they’re really telling you.Why boundaries are about clarity and self-responsibility, not control.If you want healthier, more secure relationships, the work doesn’t start with finding better partners. It starts with becoming emotionally available to yourself. Learning to feel, listen, speak honestly, and set boundaries is where real change happens. Relationship inventory categories: PersonWhat I expectedWhat I gotMy dependent behaviorHow relationship ended Additional categories I tracked: Who was I in love with?Who was I in relationship wth where we both knew “we’re boyfriend and girlfriend?”Which relationships included massive substance use?Which relationships included infidelity with either of us?Which ones were friends with benefits?Who did I break up with and who broke up with me?Be sure to tune in to all the episodes for practical tools, recovery insights, and real-life examples of what it means to live a more whole life. Thank you for listening! If this episode resonated, take a screenshot, share it in your stories, and tag me. And don’t forget to follow, rate, and review the podcast and share your biggest takeaway. Learn more about Fragmented to Whole at https://higherpowercc.com/podcast/ Feeling drained? Take my free Boundaries Drain Quiz to see where your energy is leaking and how to reclaim it: https://higherpowercc.com/drain/ CONNECT WITH BARB NANGLE: Subscribe to “Friday Fragments” weekly newsletter Linkedin Work with Barb!  Book a “Say No Without Guilt” Session

    11 min
  7. How Boundaries Create Secure Attachment in Romantic Relationships | Episode 333

    JAN 5

    How Boundaries Create Secure Attachment in Romantic Relationships | Episode 333

    Send us a text In this week’s episode of the Fragmented to Whole Podcast, I’m exploring attachment from a different angle and sharing how boundaries and recovery can actually create secure attachment, even if you didn’t grow up with it. Instead of focusing on attachment labels, we look at how internal safety, self-trust, and boundaries change the way we show up in romantic relationships. Some of the talking points I go over in this episode include: The difference between anxious, avoidant, disorganized, and secure attachment and how they often show up in adult relationshipsHow self-abandonment fuels insecure attachment patterns like chasing, distancing, and resentmentWhy boundaries aren’t about pushing people away, but about staying connected to yourselfHow boundary work creates internal safety and builds self-trust over timeWhy secure attachment can be developed in adulthood through recovery and consistent boundary practiceSecure attachment isn’t something you either got in childhood or missed forever. When you stop abandoning yourself, you stop building abandonment into your relationships. Boundaries help you stay present, grounded, and connected to who you are, so relationships stop feeling like life or death and start feeling safe. Be sure to tune in to all the episodes to receive practical tools for building emotional safety, healthier relationships, and a more whole life. Thank you for listening. If this episode resonated, take a screenshot, share it in your stories, and tag me. And don’t forget to follow, rate, and review the podcast and share your key takeaways. Learn more about Fragmented to Whole at https://higherpowercc.com/podcast/ Feeling drained in your relationships? Take my free Boundaries Drain Quiz to see where your energy is leaking and how to reclaim it. Start here: https://higherpowercc.com/drain/ CONNECT WITH BARB NANGLE: Subscribe to “Friday Fragments” weekly newsletter Linkedin Work with Barb!  Book a “Say No Without Guilt” Session

    13 min
  8. Why Knowing Better Isn’t Enough and How to Train Your Nervous System Instead | Episode 332

    12/22/2025

    Why Knowing Better Isn’t Enough and How to Train Your Nervous System Instead | Episode 332

    Send us a text In this week’s episode 332 of the Fragmented to Whole Podcast, I’m discussing something I often observe, especially during family gatherings: knowing your boundaries, understanding your patterns, and gaining valuable insight, yet still getting triggered. In this episode, I explain why that happens, why it’s not a failure, and what actually helps when your body reacts faster than your thinking brain. Some of the talking points I go over in this episode include: Why your nervous system responds before your intellect, and why “knowing better” isn’t enough in the momentThe difference between insight and regulation, and why affirmations and reasoning often fail when you’re activatedWhy you don’t train your nervous system during an emergency — you train for emergenciesThe four common nervous system states (freeze, rage, fawn, and flight) and what actually helps each oneSimple, body-based practices that build internal safety and shorten recovery time when old patterns get activatedYou’re not weak. You’re not broken. You’re human. This work isn’t about never getting triggered — it’s about helping your body learn that now is different from then. When you train your nervous system ahead of time, you create more choice, more capacity, and a faster return to yourself when things get hard. Be sure to tune in to all the episodes to receive tons of practical tips on living a more whole life and to hear even more about the points outlined above. Thank you for listening! If you enjoyed this episode, take a screenshot of the episode to post in your stories and tag me! And don’t forget to follow, rate, and review the podcast and tell me your key takeaways! Learn more about Fragmented to Whole at https://higherpowercc.com/podcast/ Feeling drained? Take my free Boundaries Drain Quiz to find out where your energy is leaking and how to reclaim it. Start your quiz here: https://higherpowercc.com/drain/ CONNECT WITH BARB NANGLE: Subscribe to “Friday Fragments” weekly newsletter Linkedin Work with Barb!  Book a “Say No Without Guilt” Session

    14 min
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4.7
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About

Tired of feeling fragmented and overwhelmed? Fragmented to Whole: Life Lessons from 12-Step Recovery is your guide to creating a life of wholeness, authenticity, and healthy boundaries. Join Barb Nangle, a boundaries  coach and speaker, as she shares raw and honest insights from her own journey and the principles of 12-step recovery. Discover how to set boundaries without guilt or shame, overcome people-pleasing tendencies, manage your emotions effectively, cultivate a stronger sense of self, and build healthier relationships. Barb's approach is raw, honest, and sometimes a little bit (okay, a lot) sweary.   Barb doesn't speak for or endorse any particular 12 step program of recovery. Though she's a huge fan of 12 step recovery, and a member of two 12 step fellowships, she cannot speak for them. If you're ready for real talk and practical tools for transformation, tune in! To learn more about Barb, go to https://higherpowercc.com/

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