Habits for Your Happily Ever After: Relationship Communication Advice

Rebecca Mullen
  • 5.0 (28)
  • Self-Improvement
  • Weekly

Each episode offers a date-night-discussion to foster conversation, as well as a tiny habit to keep you and the one you love connected: Because happily ever after isn’t a destination, it’s a journey. Habits for Your Happily Ever After is a place to get clear about your marriage communication. Because when your relationships are strong, you’re able to concentrate at work, reduce conflict at home, and receive support for your dreams so you have courage to live your best life. Relationship Coach, Rebecca Mullen, hosts the show filled with stories about relationship struggles and successes.

  1. 1d ago

    More Please: How Pleasure Refills Your Draining Reservoir

    Is it easy for you to notice the things that feel good to you? Do you know your favorite texture of sheets against your skin? Do you know what weather makes you take a deep inhale when you step outside? Today let’s discuss how pleasure is the antidote to your exhaustion. You’ll hear: Five simple clues that help you recognize what pleasure feels like in your body.How to tell the difference between pleasure that fills you vs numbing that leaves you empty.How following your tiny “more, please” signals can guide you toward what makes you feel alive. Habit for Your Happily Ever After This week’s habit for your happily ever after is to practice with the 5 pleasure prompts: Ooh! Ahh, mmm, ha! and more please. These days many people take a break and mindlessly scroll, shop, or eat. We do these things because we just need a break. Sometimes you don’t care if you’re numbing out: the break feels good. But numbing out isn’t restorative the way pleasure is. Date Night Discussion I’ve collected 11 situations. Present each situation to your partner and ask them to respond with one of the prompts we discussed. You can also add words like eww or nope! if one of the scenes is a hard no for you. You might think I’m asking, “Do you like this or not,” but my question is a little more subtle. I’m wondering about the flavor of your response. When you notice flavors, you get a more nuanced connection to yourself and to your partner. That sort of noticing will build your pleasure muscles. Want more? Listen to this interview with Dr. Kirstin Hotelling Zona about how to cultivate pleasure Connect to Improve Your Relationship Communication Visit the show notes. Buy my book. Listen to my book. Please subscribe to my newsletter here. This unlocks personal invitations from me only available to my subscribers. Follow me on Tik Tok. Follow me on Instagram. Reach me at 970-210-4480

  2. Oct 22

    It Won’t All Fit: How to Prioritize When Everything Feels Important

    Life is full. Maybe too full. So, how do you choose what to let go? What things are optional? What things are impossible to let go? How do you know the difference? Today we’re discussing how to choose what to let go when life is too full. You’ll learn: Why resisting the reality that it won’t all fit makes exhaustion worse.How your WHY can help you identify what matters most during this season of your life.How to choose what stays, what goes, and what you may need from your partner to make that choice work. Habit for Your Happily Ever After This week’s habit for your happily ever after is to find your WHY. If you are feeling too-much-tired and you realize something has to give, take a moment and think about all the things you do in a typical day. Then tell me WHY each of those things matters. When you hear yourself articulate WHY something is important to you, you will hear why some things are more important than others. Dig deeper with your WHY question. Here is an episode I did several years ago that uses this WHY question to discover deeper and deeper layers. Date Night Discussion In our discussion today we had a progression: Accept reality: because it won’t all fitUse WHY questions to help you identify what matters most to youFinally, I invite you to choose: what stays? What goes? What will you need to talk with your partner about in order for you to successfully let something go? Do you need to ask for help? Do you need to discuss how your change will impact your family? Want more? Listen to this interview with Monica Packer to hear more about how to value your needs Connect to Improve Your Relationship Communication Visit the show notes. Buy my book. Listen to my book. Please subscribe to my newsletter here. This unlocks personal invitations from me only available to my subscribers. Follow me on Tik Tok. Follow me on Instagram. Reach me at 970-210-4480

  3. Oct 15

    What Do You Taste? How to Make an Everyday Moment Feel Like an Adventure

    How do you zhuzh up your life if you have no time and no energy? I had the BEST time tasting things recently with my daughter, Kaitlin Pettit, and I want to share the adventure with you, because it’s amazing how little it takes if you know what to be mindful about. Have you ever stopped and asked yourself, “What do you taste?” You will eat completely differently if you do. Noticing is this unbelievably powerful ability you have to change your experience of the world. When you slow down and pay attention not only to what you’re tasting but also to the other sensations that influence the flavor, you elevate your experience. It’s an adventure! My daughter has two little kids—a four year old and a one year old. She is a busy mom. A date night with her husband is…well, let’s just say they don’t go out. So how does she keep a spark of electricity alive in her marriage? She has these “tastings” with her children and her husband. Because this is a season where adventure in the classical sense is harder to find, she has literally spiced up her Friday afternoons by slowing down to really taste the moment unfolding. Want more? Discover how your relationship will change when you notice without judgment Connect to Improve Your Relationship Communication Visit the show notes. Buy my book. Listen to my book. Please subscribe to my newsletter here. This unlocks personal invitations from me only available to my subscribers. Follow me on Tik Tok. Follow me on Instagram. Reach me at 970-210-4480 Connect with my guest Kaitlin Pettit is the CEO of Toilet Equity. Visit their website here.

  4. Oct 8

    Too-Little-Tired: When More Rest Isn’t What You Need

    Do you feel tired even when you’re not doing that much? Last week I introduced you to the distinction between too-much-tired and too-little-tired. Today we’ll talk more about too-little-tired—the exhaustion that comes when you don’t have enough meaning, focus, or purpose in your life. You’ll learn: That when you get clarity on your flavor of exhaustion, you can do a better job with the cure.Why having more time and fewer responsibilities can sometimes leave you feeling even more exhausted.Three things that can help you find your way out of the dark cave of too-little-tired. Date Night Discussion I’m inviting you to create space in your calendar to have the following discussion. If you don’t feel tired, ask your sweetheart if they feel tired. If neither you nor your sweetheart feels tired, maybe you would be willing to look around your world and find a person who is tired. I remember the people who invited me to join them when I was too-little-tired and felt untethered. A movie night at our local community center. An invitation to take yoga. Those invitations, while difficult to accept, invited me back to myself and helped me emerge from my cave. If, however, you are the one that feels too-little-tired, ask your sweetheart if they would just listen to you for a bit. If you sense that your sweetheart is too-little-tired as well, invite them into the discussion we have today. If you want to use one of my scripts, you'll find them on this blog page. Just scroll down. Check out the whole 4-part series: Part 1: Too-Much-Tired | Listen to the episode | Read it on my blog Part 2: Too-Little-Tired | Listen to the episode | Read it on my blog Part 3: How to Prioritize (available 10/29/26) Part 4: How Pleasure Refills You (available 11/5/26) Want more? Discover why real self care is built on capacity and nourishment Connect to Improve Your Relationship Communication Visit the show notes. Buy my book. Listen to my book. Please subscribe to my newsletter here. This unlocks personal invitations from me only available to my subscribers. Follow me on Tik Tok. Follow me on Instagram. Reach me at 970-210-4480

  5. Oct 1

    Too-Much-Tired: When Your Reservoir Is Running Dry

    When you view all flavors of tired the same, it’s difficult to address your symptoms. So how do you distinguish too-much-tired from too-little-tired? Today we’re discussing too-much-tired—what happens when life drains your reservoir faster than you can fill it. You’ll learn: How to recognize too-much-tired and distinguish it from the emptiness of too-little-tired.How to identify what’s draining your reservoir—and the downstream consequences of running too low.How to find the “river” that can begin filling your reservoir again. Although we’ll define both types of tired, today’s episode is more heavily focused on too-much tired. Next week we’ll talk more specifically about too-little-tired and in the coming weeks we’ll address ways to cope with both flavors of tired. Date Night Discussion I’m inviting you to create space in your calendar to have the following discussion. If you don’t feel tired, ask your partner if they feel tired. If neither you nor your partner feels tired, maybe you would be willing to look around your world and find a person who is tired. I invite you to pay it forward. After you’ve identified that tired person, ask them if you can watch their kids while they have this discussion with their partner. Or take over dinner. Or a soft scented soap. Be grateful that you are getting the sleep you need and your reservoir is full. If, however, you are the one that feels tired, ask your partner if they would just listen to you for a bit. If you sense that your partner is tired, ask them the questions included in this episode. You'll find them written down on this page of my blog. Check out the whole 4-part series: Part 1: Too-Much-Tired | Listen to the episode | Read it on my blog Part 2: Too-Little-Tired (available 10/1/26) Part 3: How to Prioritize (available 10/29/26) Part 4: How Pleasure Refills You (available 11/5/26) Want more? Next week, I’ll be back with another episode about too-little-tired. Make sure to subscribe so you don’t miss it!Until then, try listening to this episode about 3 types of rest to relaunch you. Connect to Improve Your Relationship Communication Visit the show notes. Buy my book. Listen to my book. Please subscribe to my newsletter here. This unlocks personal invitations from me only available to my subscribers. Follow me on Tik Tok. Follow me on Instagram. Reach me at 970-210-4480

  6. Sep 24

    Why Laughter is Better for Your Relationship

    How does laughter impact your relationship communication? It comes easily to my son, Logan. It’s his superpower. He was a guest on the 50th episode of this podcast, and today I’m bringing you his episode from the archives. You’ll hear: Logan’s elopement story and the advantages and disadvantages that come with elopingWhy laughter is a great choice for your relationship conflict resolutionHow our pets teach us about unconditional love Want more? Hear more about how humor connects you to your partner in this interview with Chris DuffyCould a practical joke save your marriage? Find out in this episode. Connect to Improve Your Relationship Communication Visit the show notes. Buy my book. Listen to my book. Please subscribe to my newsletter here. This unlocks personal invitations from me only available to my subscribers. Follow me on Tik Tok. Follow me on Instagram. Reach me at 970-210-4480

  7. Sep 17

    5 Thinking Traps Your Brain Feeds to Your Kitchen Sink Voice

    Do you ever use your resentment (or your doubt, or your fear) to write the history of your relationship? Today, we’re exploring 5 cognitive distortions that feed your Kitchen Sink Voice all the resentment it needs to thrive. I’ll offer you a definition of cognitive distortions and help you see how they’re poisoning your relationshipWe’ll explore where and why these cognitive distortions arise, so you can head them off at the passAnd I’ll help you see how to access curiosity and compassion to turn your relationship around Complaint > Criticism > Curiosity > Compassion > Connection This is the path from alienation to happily ever after. The trick is: don’t believe everything your Kitchen Sink Voice tells you. We’ve all made up stories in our head about our partners. He forgets the ice cream at the grocery store, and you tell yourself the lie, it’s because he thinks I’m fat. It’s not that your brain is broken. Far from it. We all want to fill in any incomplete information with certainty. Psychologists call these patterns cognitive distortions. In this week’s episode, I walk you through five of the ones I see most often in relationships: Mindreading: I know exactly what you’re thinking.Catastrophizing: You create the worst-case-scenario.All-or-nothing thinking: You always… You never…Personalizing: It’s all my faultDisqualifying the positive: Nevermind all the clean counters. Look at the one crumb you left behind. Habit for Your Happily Ever After This week’s habit for your happily ever after is to notice when you experience the hiccough of a cognitive distortion. But it's not to catch yourself having a cognitive distortion and then beat yourself up. Instead, the goal is to become curious. Am I mindreading and certain I know what my partner is thinking?When am I most likely to catastrophize?Am I turning “sometimes” into “always” or “never?”When am I likely to take responsibility for things that aren’t mine?Do I overlook the positive to see what’s still wrong? When you get curious about your Kitchen Sink Voice, you take away its omniscient and omnipotent power. You expose the wizard behind the curtain. Date Night Discussion This week I invite you to find a moment to say to your partner, “The story I’m telling myself is…” This is a great way to introduce your Kitchen Sink Voice to your partner. Want more? Discover another cognitive distortion: compare and despair Links I Mention Explore The Work of Byron KatieHow to stay in your own business in your relationship Connect to Improve Your Relationship Communication Visit the show notes. Buy my book. Listen to my book. Please subscribe to my newsletter here. This unlocks personal invitations from me only available to my subscribers. Follow me on Tik Tok. Follow me on Instagram. Reach me at 970-210-4480

  8. Sep 10

    The Art of Getting Unstuck with Ramona Ausubel

    When you got married, did you have a basic outline of what marriage was supposed to look like? I did. And for a long time, that outline felt like a kind of safety net. But eventually, a safety net can become a cage. Marriage is messy: give it roomWhat if the goal isn’t to get marriage RIGHT, but rather to stay engaged with what your marriage is becoming? To keep discovering who you are becoming and who your sweetheart is becoming. To notice when the old agreement no longer fits and get curious about what might fit now? Ramona asks a question in her newest book: Where is the energy? What is alive here now? That question can change everything. Instead of: you were supposed to… Try: What is exciting to each of us now?What’s most intriguing to me now?How can we make room for what’s true for both of us? After decades of marriage, questions like these led me to see that every struggle, every change, every surprise, every ordinary Tuesday morning became part of our shared story. Has your marriage become something you couldn’t possibly have outlined in the beginning? Maybe that’s the point. Your happily ever after isn’t a destination. It’s your willingness to keep discovering the relationship you’re actually in. This is one of the ideas I loved most when I got to talk with writer Ramona Ausubel, author of The Last Animal, No One Is Here Except All of Us, and her newest book: Unstuck: 101 Doorways Leading From the Blank Page to the Last Page. Connect with my guest Visit Ramona's website here. Connect on social media here. Want more? Listen to Ramona Ausubel’s interview on the Emerging Form Podcast. If you enjoy that, Christie Aschwanden and Rosemerry Wahtola Trommer also interviewed me on the same show. Connect to Improve Your Relationship Communication Visit the show notes. Buy my book. Listen to my book. Please subscribe to my newsletter here. This unlocks personal invitations from me only available to my subscribers. Follow me on Tik Tok. Follow me on Instagram. Reach me at 970-210-4480

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Each episode offers a date-night-discussion to foster conversation, as well as a tiny habit to keep you and the one you love connected: Because happily ever after isn’t a destination, it’s a journey. Habits for Your Happily Ever After is a place to get clear about your marriage communication. Because when your relationships are strong, you’re able to concentrate at work, reduce conflict at home, and receive support for your dreams so you have courage to live your best life. Relationship Coach, Rebecca Mullen, hosts the show filled with stories about relationship struggles and successes.

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