SensitiveSlut Podcast

Miriam Diana

SensitiveSluts yearn for intimacy — both sexual adventure and lifetime partnerships. But we SensitiveSluts have such big hearts and deep passion that we feel desperate when we don't get what we desire. Worse, SensitiveSluts despair when a date or relationship doesn't pan out. Enter trauma-informed dating coach Miriam Diana! She has the practical tools to help you move through your pain, toward a vibrant love life. Tune in for advice related to attachment theory, as well as healing practices like self-cuddle meditations, sexmagic rituals, aspecting, and parts work/Internal Family Systems (IFS).

  1. Why Sluts are Oppressed and What to Do About It

    12/03/2025

    Why Sluts are Oppressed and What to Do About It

    To understand the oppressive nature of the word slut and the social concept behind it, we have to understand how its meaning evolved. Slut began like many English words: neutral, then pejorated into a slur for girls and women. Linguist Amanda Montell, in Wordslut, traces how gender-neutral or positive words shift into insults for women. Bitch once referred to g******s or animals before narrowing to “bossy woman.” Hauswif (female head of household) became housewife and then hussy. Meanwhile, terms for men — sir, mister — stayed honorable, while madam and mistress became sexualized. Middle English slutte meant a slovenly person of any gender. By the 1700s it signified a messy girl or wife; by the 1900s it became sexual. Use of slut soared in the 1970s, paralleling the rise of mass-market porn. The pattern is clear: men historically controlled communication — pulpits, presses, publishing, and porn — shaping language to reflect patriarchal norms. Today’s meaning centers the accuser: an allegedly immoral woman who has “too much” sex or simply looks sexual. It frames sexual freedom as a lack of self-respect and dehumanizes girls and women, especially women with intersecting marginalized identities. Meanwhile, patriarchal cultures reward male promiscuity while condemning women’s. Why? Because controlling women’s sexuality once meant controlling reproduction — and therefore property and power. As societies shifted to agriculture, paternity certainty upheld male dominance. Punishing “promiscuous” women maintained that control. So why does this persist today? Sociolinguistics shows that language reflects and reinforces power. Montell highlights sexist defaults across English: female doctor, male nurse, manslut versus slut. The unmarked norm is male; women are the deviation. Feminist philosopher Marilyn Frye defines oppression through double binds: whatever women choose, they lose. Dress attractively and risk slut-shaming; dress modestly and risk dismissal. Iris Marion Young expands this into the “five faces of oppression”: exploitation, marginalization, powerlessness, cultural imperialism, and violence. The slut stereotype intersects with all five. Violence appears in misogynist mass murders by Elliot Rodger, Chris Harper-Mercer, and others who blamed women’s sexual autonomy. Powerlessness shows up in everyday self-censorship around clothing, behavior, and ambition. Online, weak legal protections for revenge porn and deepfakes disproportionately harm girls and women, sometimes forcing them to uproot their lives. Cultural imperialism — or hegemonic “mind colonization” — surfaces when people internalize the attitudes that oppress them. As Allan Johnson argues, patriarchy is a system we all absorb: expectations about sexual availability, male entitlement, and female self-doubt seep into everyone raised within it. So what do we do? One approach is reclamation. SlutWalks, sparked after a Toronto officer said women should “avoid dressing like sluts,” challenge rape culture and victim blaming. Activist Amber Rose argues reclaiming slut helps dismantle it. And frankly, it’s fun to say — a plosive, punchy word. Montell notes slurs fade only when the beliefs behind them fade. Ways to address this issue: • Get cishet men to call themselves sluts — not mansluts — and to do it vulnerably, without demeaning partners.• Reintroduce slutte as a gender-neutral term, like heaux for ho/whore.• Teach kids media literacy about porn and bodily autonomy. When teens use gendered insults, ask what they really mean; encourage ungendered ones like “butthole” or naming specific behaviors.

    33 min
  2. 09/20/2024

    Dating 🚩Red Flags🚩

    Red flags in sports are thrown when a player behaves badly. Red flags in dating are known as indicators of someone who is bad for you. How do you know when a red flag arises? On a date, you know you’ve encountered a red flag if you have any of these somatic markers: your stomach turns, you freeze up, or you feel uncomfortable yet pressured to play it cool. The following may be red flags that indicate your date is avoidant of attachment: ​You reveal something about yourself, and they ignore it ​You can’t tell if they like you​You have to work to keep them interested​Their recent dating experiences are focused on uncommitted, casual sex If you’re looking for a committed relationship and you encounter these things — and along with them you feel ill-at-ease — then these are red flags that this person won’t be available for a relationship. However, red flags in dating are not some long list of no-no’s that you keep in your head. Conscious dating is about getting OUT of your head! Besides, people can have all sorts of lists in their heads for things they SHOULD do that they don’t listen to. Red flags are often ignored because they come in a sexy package. The only way to see red flags and get yourself to turn the other way when you see them is to listen to yourself. Note how you feel with your best friend, or how you felt when you met someone who later became a good friend. Go for that feeling of ease! That’s the best way to avoid the feeling of, “Dang, I should have heeded those red flags.” Still: We all miss red flags. And we all see red flags but choose to ignore them. Beating yourself up is never helpful. Give yourself a break, and just try to cultivate safety next time. The goal is to keep feeling good, or at least neutral — as opposed to an up-up and down-down-crash roller coaster!

    31 min
  3. 07/06/2023

    Pre-Date Emergency Toolkit (Part #2): "Put on Your Crown" — Guided Meditation

    Freaking out before a date? Pick up this toolkit! After a story*, you'll hear a transformative visualization exercise that will calm the stressed-out part of you and EMPOWER your inner queen/king/nonbinary sovereign. This practice will help you feel grounded in your dignity. That means you can take a deep sense of peace and confidence to your date, showing up with your natural vibrancy and magnetism. *Before the guided imagery practice, conscious dating coach Miriam Diana will share a bad date story! Although the date ended awkwardly, it shows Miriam Diana's approach to dating: to see dating as life's biggest self-love challenge. If you like this meditation, be sure to listen to "Pre-Date Emergency Toolkit (Part #1): 3 tools to Nix Nervousness and Boost Confidence" (sptfy.com/LZYu). More on the self-love philosophy to dating: Swiping on dating apps and going out with people brings a lot of mishegoss (that's Yiddish for wacky sh*t!). If you can see any challenge that comes your way as an opportunity to choose to love yourself — to choose the thing that lands in love — then you're doing it right. 

Seeing dating as an educational obstacle course that teaches you how to be compassionate to yourself will help you set better boundaries AND enjoy dating. Plus, it will help you have compassion for the people you're dating when they're actin' a fool (and not take it personally). ♡ ♡ ♡ Miriam Diana is a trauma-informed, love-life coach. She helps people of all genders use their imagination and their gut feelings to have more fulfilling love lives. ♡ ♡ ♡ Are you looking for growth in the areas of sex, sexual expression, love, dating, and relationships? Go to ⁠https://miriamdiana.com⁠!

    44 min
4.3
out of 5
6 Ratings

About

SensitiveSluts yearn for intimacy — both sexual adventure and lifetime partnerships. But we SensitiveSluts have such big hearts and deep passion that we feel desperate when we don't get what we desire. Worse, SensitiveSluts despair when a date or relationship doesn't pan out. Enter trauma-informed dating coach Miriam Diana! She has the practical tools to help you move through your pain, toward a vibrant love life. Tune in for advice related to attachment theory, as well as healing practices like self-cuddle meditations, sexmagic rituals, aspecting, and parts work/Internal Family Systems (IFS).