Hope After Child & Sibling Loss/the empty chair endeavor

Greg Buffkin/Trauma Recovery & Healing Journey Host
  • 4.9 (32)
  • Christianity
  • Updated Biweekly

This is where grief is allowed to be brutally honest, faith is allowed to wrestle with hard questions, and hope doesn't mean forgetting after the unthinkable loss of a child or sibling, from a Christ centered perspective. Our conversations are real and often raw as we talk about what happens to faith, family, identity and purpose when the empty chair becomes permanent … and how GOD can meet us there. When someone we love dies, life changes forever. Faith can become complicated. Questions about GOD can become unavoidable, joy can feel disloyal, and the empty chair at the table can remain painfully real. This podcast doesn't offer easy answers or ask you to "move on." Instead we walk together through the hard questions of grief -- anger, doubt, faith, marriage, family, surviving siblings, holidays, anniversaries, and what it means to build a life you never imagined living. Through personal stories and conversations with bereaved parents and siblings, as well as honest reflections about GOD and scripture, we explore what it means to grieve deeply while still holding on to hope. Because hope doesn't forget the empty chair! Hope After Child & Sibling Loss is part of the Empty Chair Endeavor - a place where grief is welcomed, faith is allowed to wrestle with difficult questions, and those who have lost someone they love can discover that they are not alone. The host, Greg Buffkin, brings his personal experience with grief into this role, after he and his wife Cathy experienced the devastating loss of their 26 year old son Ryan to suicide in October 2015. DISCLAIMER: The views, beliefs, and opinions expressed by our guests may not necessarily be shared by this podcast or its host. We believe there is only one triune GOD: the Father, His son Jesus Christ, and His Holy Spirit. We believe that  Jesus humbled himself to become fully human, conceived by the virgin Mary through the Holy Spirit, retained his divine character and identity, lived a sinless life, executed on a Roman cross as an atonement for the sinfulness of mankind, buried, and raised back to life three days later to offer the hope of eternal life to all who would receive his free gift by grace through faith. Jesus tells us in John 14:6 "I am the way and the truth, and the life. No one comes to the Father except through me."  * Reaching over 100 countries with messages of hope.

  1. Aug 4

    Leaning on Faith And Community After Losing Annie, with Cheri Fletcher

    Thirteen days can change an entire family’s history. We sit down with Cheri Fletcher to remember her daughter Annie, a 29-year-old singer-songwriter, social worker, and photographer whose sudden decline ended in an unthinkable goodbye. With honesty and tenderness, Cheri walks us through what it’s like to lose an adult child to an aggressive cancer she did not even know was there, and how shock lingers long after the hospital.  We also get practical about what grief really does. Cheri describes grief brain, the fog that makes reading hard and memory unreliable, the physical exhaustion that settles into daily life, and the way fear can spike when another loved one is late to return a call. We talk marriage and family dynamics, why counseling can help couples grieve in different ways without turning on each other, and how giving space and grace becomes a daily decision.  A major thread is faith in suffering. When prayer feels impossible, Cheri shares how God met her through friends who kept sending scripture and personalized prayers, and how she learned to see God’s presence without minimizing pain. She also offers a perspective that stopped her in my tracks: God misses watching Annie too.  Finally, we dig into the moment so many people dread: “I don’t know what to say.” Cheri created “Beyond I Don’t Know What To Say” grief cards to help friends and churches show up with courage, ask meaningful questions, and keep a child’s name present. Listen regularly for more hope-filled conversations, and share this with someone walking through loss, and leave a review so more grieving families can find this support. https://cherifletcher.com/ Share any comments here *** If you have an Apple account, please take a minute to leave a review on Apple Podcasts if you enjoy this podcast by clicking the link below. By doing so you help increase our visibility and discoverability for others, and we value your feedback! https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/hope-after-child-sibling-loss-the-empty-chair-endeavor/id1654053256 **** You can also opt to leave a review or rating on Podchasers by clicking the link below. Your opinions matter and mean so much to us! https://www.podchaser.com/HopeAfterChildSiblingLossTheEmptyChairEndeavor You can contact us by email at: hope@emptychairendeavor.com If you would like to share your story on an upcoming episode, please send us an email so that we can talk with you about it. Thank you for listening!

    Leaning on Faith And Community After Losing Annie, with Cheri Fletcher

  2. Jul 21

    Wrestling With GOD Through the Loss of Three Children, with Roxanne Hutchison

    We sit down with Roxanne Hutchison to talk through the unthinkable reality of losing three children and a son-in-law and what it takes to keep living when your family feels shredded. We explore honest faith, the loneliness of stillbirth and child loss, and the slow work of learning to grieve with hope instead of pretending you’re fine. • how Roxanne and Craig’s early faith and marriage foundation shape their endurance • the trauma of stillbirth and why neonatal loss is often dismissed or misunderstood • grief as a roller coaster and why isolating silence can hurt as much as words • the myth of “do everything right and life works” and what a broken world exposes • mental health, rare diagnoses, and the long shadow of medical crises • what life looks like after the funeral when routine tasks become triggers • what grieving parents actually need from friends: presence, listening, practical help • lament, the Psalms, and rebuilding trust in God over time • the Romans 8 promise that becomes a lifeline I hope that you'll rejoin us again in two weeks to hear another story of hope and healing in the life of another grieving parent. Share any comments here *** If you have an Apple account, please take a minute to leave a review on Apple Podcasts if you enjoy this podcast by clicking the link below. By doing so you help increase our visibility and discoverability for others, and we value your feedback! https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/hope-after-child-sibling-loss-the-empty-chair-endeavor/id1654053256 **** You can also opt to leave a review or rating on Podchasers by clicking the link below. Your opinions matter and mean so much to us! https://www.podchaser.com/HopeAfterChildSiblingLossTheEmptyChairEndeavor You can contact us by email at: hope@emptychairendeavor.com If you would like to share your story on an upcoming episode, please send us an email so that we can talk with you about it. Thank you for listening!

    Wrestling With GOD Through the Loss of Three Children, with Roxanne Hutchison

  3. Jul 7

    Cultivating a Grief Garden with Ron & Nan Deal, Connor’s parents

    A sudden illness can take a child in days, but the grief can echo for decades and it changes far more than most people realize. I’m joined by Ron and Nan Deal as they share the story of losing their 12-year-old son, Connor, and what 17 years of child loss grief has taught them about love, memory, triggers, and the hard work of continuing to live. We talk about a mom’s experience of loss, including the moment Nan describes leaving the hospital and feeling like she’s losing part of herself. We also get painfully practical about grief triggers, why “sweet without bitter” becomes a normal tension, and how grief intensity can shift over time without ever fully ending. If you’re a bereaved parent, or you love someone who is, you’ll hear language that makes the invisible parts of grief easier to name. Then we go straight at marriage after the death of a child: the scary divorce statistic people repeat, what the actual research suggests, and how couples can protect their connection when one spouse needs words and the other needs quiet. We also discuss surviving siblings, fear and hypervigilance, and why honesty at home matters more than pretending to be strong. Ron and Nan share two memorable tools: protecting a “grief garden” with healthy boundaries, and “grieving between the rails” where sadness and hope run parallel, just like biblical lament. We end with the Scriptures they’ve clung to, including Proverbs 3:5–6 and the raw honesty of Psalm 22. I’ll include the Focus on the Family video link they reference in the episode notes. If this conversation helps you, subscribe, share it with someone who needs language for their pain, and leave a review so more grieving families can find it. Click the link below to view Ron and Nan’s Focus on the Family video: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jwC0xmKjccs Share any comments here *** If you have an Apple account, please take a minute to leave a review on Apple Podcasts if you enjoy this podcast by clicking the link below. By doing so you help increase our visibility and discoverability for others, and we value your feedback! https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/hope-after-child-sibling-loss-the-empty-chair-endeavor/id1654053256 **** You can also opt to leave a review or rating on Podchasers by clicking the link below. Your opinions matter and mean so much to us! https://www.podchaser.com/HopeAfterChildSiblingLossTheEmptyChairEndeavor You can contact us by email at: hope@emptychairendeavor.com If you would like to share your story on an upcoming episode, please send us an email so that we can talk with you about it. Thank you for listening!

    Cultivating a Grief Garden with Ron & Nan Deal, Connor’s parents

  4. Jun 23

    From Sudden Traumatic Loss To Restored Hope with Linda Stirling, Jeff’s Mom

    One phone call can erase the world you thought you were living in. Greg Buffkin talks with Linda Stirling, president of Umbrella Ministries, about the sudden and unthinkable loss of her 19-year-old son, Jeff, who was killed in an airplane crash in the mountains of Idaho. Linda doesn’t sanitize the story. She names the shock, the scream, the days that don’t feel real, and the quiet moment after the memorial when everyone goes home and the true weight of child loss settles in. We also dig into what actually helps a grieving parent and what makes it worse. Linda shares why simple presence matters more than perfect words, why people often look away out of fear, and why saying their child’s name can feel like warmth on a cold day. If you’ve ever wondered what to say to someone who lost a child, this conversation offers practical do’s and don’ts grounded in real life, not theory, along with honest talk about guilt, regret, and the “shoulda, coulda, woulda” loop so many bereaved parents carry. Faith is woven through everything, not as a shortcut around pain, but as a lifeline in it. Linda describes how Psalm 23 became personal and daily, and how learning to walk with God looked different than simply believing. We close with hope you can act on: the power of community, taking the next small step, and finding support through Umbrella Ministries, including conferences, groups, and resources for grieving moms and couples. Learn more at https://umbrellaministries.org and for San Diego support at https://umbrellaministriessd.com. If this helped you, subscribe, share it with someone who’s hurting, and leave a review so more families can find hope. https://www.umbrellaministries.com/ https://janetteifonelife.wixsite.com/umbrellaministries/san-diego Share any comments here *** If you have an Apple account, please take a minute to leave a review on Apple Podcasts if you enjoy this podcast by clicking the link below. By doing so you help increase our visibility and discoverability for others, and we value your feedback! https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/hope-after-child-sibling-loss-the-empty-chair-endeavor/id1654053256 **** You can also opt to leave a review or rating on Podchasers by clicking the link below. Your opinions matter and mean so much to us! https://www.podchaser.com/HopeAfterChildSiblingLossTheEmptyChairEndeavor You can contact us by email at: hope@emptychairendeavor.com If you would like to share your story on an upcoming episode, please send us an email so that we can talk with you about it. Thank you for listening!

    From Sudden Traumatic Loss To Restored Hope with Linda Stirling, Jeff’s Mom

  5. Jun 9

    When “The Knock” Comes with Diane Grotberg, David’s Mom

    A midnight knock can split your life in two. Diane Grotberg remembers the moment two sheriff’s deputies told her their 19-year-old son, David, was dead, and how the first thing she felt was that everything had changed forever. David was a Baylor University sophomore, a gifted musician and friend, and a young man whose faith and compassion had already shaped people far beyond his hometown in Minnesota. We walk through the hard truth of the hit-and-run that killed him and the long, grinding wait for justice, including the reality of delay, denial, and a trial that didn’t arrive until years later. Diane also shares what grief looks like when you still have kids at home, schedules to keep, and a mind that feels like it’s turned to fog. If you’ve experienced child loss, traumatic grief, or you love someone who has, you’ll recognize the private sobbing behind public “strength,” and the exhaustion that comes when the shock wears off. We also talk candidly about support and faith: what helped, what hurt, and why silence from church communities can feel like a second wound. Diane contrasts that with the people who showed up, including the Baylor community that honored David’s life, stayed connected, and made space for stories. You’ll hear simple, practical guidance for helping bereaved parents, plus grief resources like “Lament For A Son” and the search for hope that points beyond tragedy. If this conversation matters to you, please share it with someone who needs it, and leave a review so more grieving families can find real support. Share any comments here *** If you have an Apple account, please take a minute to leave a review on Apple Podcasts if you enjoy this podcast by clicking the link below. By doing so you help increase our visibility and discoverability for others, and we value your feedback! https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/hope-after-child-sibling-loss-the-empty-chair-endeavor/id1654053256 **** You can also opt to leave a review or rating on Podchasers by clicking the link below. Your opinions matter and mean so much to us! https://www.podchaser.com/HopeAfterChildSiblingLossTheEmptyChairEndeavor You can contact us by email at: hope@emptychairendeavor.com If you would like to share your story on an upcoming episode, please send us an email so that we can talk with you about it. Thank you for listening!

    When “The Knock” Comes with Diane Grotberg, David’s Mom

  6. May 26

    When Your Darkest Loss Becomes Your Ministry, with Samantha Watson

    Miscarriage can shatter your world in minutes, and sometimes it happens in a place you never expected. I sit down with Samantha Watson, a military wife and mom, as she tells the story of her 2015 pregnancy loss while stationed far from family and still building community. She shares the moment joy turned to grief, the trauma surrounding the miscarriage, and the faith in Jesus Christ that held her up when she had no strength left. We also talk about the part people rarely prepare you for: how others respond. Some want to help but freeze because they do not know what to say, while others unintentionally minimize early pregnancy loss. Samantha and I unpack why miscarriage grief is real, what “grief brain” feels like, and why “text me if you need anything” can be impossible for a grieving parent. You will hear practical ways to support someone after child loss, including simple acts like meals, childcare, and steady presence. Samantha explains the worship and Scripture habits that helped her survive those early days, including listening to the Bible when reading felt overwhelming. She also shares how she talked with her children about the loss using John 10:10, and how God later redeemed her pain into purpose. That purpose includes her new podcast, Simple Devotions for Children, created to help Christian moms and families build faith at home with easy, engaging devotionals. If this conversation helps you, share it with a friend who needs hope, and leave a rating or review so more grieving parents and supporters can find it. Share any comments here *** If you have an Apple account, please take a minute to leave a review on Apple Podcasts if you enjoy this podcast by clicking the link below. By doing so you help increase our visibility and discoverability for others, and we value your feedback! https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/hope-after-child-sibling-loss-the-empty-chair-endeavor/id1654053256 **** You can also opt to leave a review or rating on Podchasers by clicking the link below. Your opinions matter and mean so much to us! https://www.podchaser.com/HopeAfterChildSiblingLossTheEmptyChairEndeavor You can contact us by email at: hope@emptychairendeavor.com If you would like to share your story on an upcoming episode, please send us an email so that we can talk with you about it. Thank you for listening!

    When Your Darkest Loss Becomes Your Ministry, with Samantha Watson

  7. May 12

    Navigating Life After Suicide with Melissa & Todd Shaffer, Tristan’s Parents

    A teen can look like he is just “being a teenager” while he is privately fighting for his life. We talk with Todd and Melissa Shaffer about the loss of their 18-year-old son, Tristan, to suicide after a long, confusing road that included isolation, anger, depression, and warning signs nobody around them could clearly name. Their story is honest about what it feels like to miss what you did not know how to see, and what happens to a family when clinical depression and suicide risk finally break into the open. We also dig into the complicated realities behind mental health diagnoses, including how OCD can fixate on a person, how bipolar symptoms can be overlooked, and why emergency rooms and short evaluations often fail families in crisis. From antidepressant warnings to the stigma that still lingers in our culture, we discuss the tension many Christian families feel between “spiritual bandaid”  advice and the need for counseling, specialists, and wise medical care. If you care about teen mental health, suicide prevention, or supporting bereaved parents, this conversation offers language and perspective you can carry into real life. Most of all, we talk about the grief journey after suicide loss and what actually helps: finding other parents who understand, living one day at a time, and learning to pray again when words disappear. Todd and Melissa share how Scripture, journaling, and the often-neglected practice of lament became lifelines, and how they now serve others through ministries like Christian Suicide Loss and Surviving Child Loss while building Sparrow Falls Ministry. Tune in for more conversations like this, share this with someone who needs it, and leave a review with one thing you want the church to understand about mental health and grief. https://sparrowfalls.org/podcast/ Share any comments here *** If you have an Apple account, please take a minute to leave a review on Apple Podcasts if you enjoy this podcast by clicking the link below. By doing so you help increase our visibility and discoverability for others, and we value your feedback! https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/hope-after-child-sibling-loss-the-empty-chair-endeavor/id1654053256 **** You can also opt to leave a review or rating on Podchasers by clicking the link below. Your opinions matter and mean so much to us! https://www.podchaser.com/HopeAfterChildSiblingLossTheEmptyChairEndeavor You can contact us by email at: hope@emptychairendeavor.com If you would like to share your story on an upcoming episode, please send us an email so that we can talk with you about it. Thank you for listening!

    Navigating Life After Suicide with Melissa & Todd Shaffer, Tristan’s Parents

  8. Apr 28

    A Mother’s Story Of Grief, Depression, and Hope After Her Son’s Suicide with Anne Starke, David’s Mom

    A suicide can leave a family with a thousand questions and zero satisfying answers. I sat down with Anne Starke, a nurse, wife, and mom, to talk about the day her 16-year-old son, David, died by suicide and what it’s like to live with the shock of finding your child and realizing there is nothing you can do to undo it. Ann shares the subtle changes she noticed in David over time and why teen depression can be impossible to “logic away,” even when a kid is loved, talented, and surrounded by friends. We talk honestly about suicide loss grief, the guilt that follows, and how exposure to another suicide can affect a young person who is already struggling. We also discuss the social fallout many families experience, when friends avoid you at church or in the grocery store because they don’t know what to say. The story doesn’t skip the darkest parts: Anne’s shattered faith, anger at God, and the moment her husband had to step in because she didn’t know if she could survive. We get practical about mental health support, including therapy, trauma work, and antidepressants like Prozac, not as a “fix,” but as a tool that can steady you enough to keep breathing and keep going. Anne also explains why community with other suicide loss survivors matters so much, how prolonged grief can feel like being stuck, and how purpose slowly returned through starting Hearts of Hope and serving other grieving parents. You’ll also hear how GOD patiently and compassionately restored Anne’s faith and helped her embrace joy again. If you’re walking through child loss, suicide bereavement, or supporting someone who is, this conversation offers real language, real hope, and permission to be honest. Share this with someone who needs it, and leave a review so more grieving families can find these stories when they feel most alone. Share any comments here *** If you have an Apple account, please take a minute to leave a review on Apple Podcasts if you enjoy this podcast by clicking the link below. By doing so you help increase our visibility and discoverability for others, and we value your feedback! https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/hope-after-child-sibling-loss-the-empty-chair-endeavor/id1654053256 **** You can also opt to leave a review or rating on Podchasers by clicking the link below. Your opinions matter and mean so much to us! https://www.podchaser.com/HopeAfterChildSiblingLossTheEmptyChairEndeavor You can contact us by email at: hope@emptychairendeavor.com If you would like to share your story on an upcoming episode, please send us an email so that we can talk with you about it. Thank you for listening!

    A Mother’s Story Of Grief, Depression, and Hope After Her Son’s Suicide with Anne Starke, David’s Mom
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About

This is where grief is allowed to be brutally honest, faith is allowed to wrestle with hard questions, and hope doesn't mean forgetting after the unthinkable loss of a child or sibling, from a Christ centered perspective. Our conversations are real and often raw as we talk about what happens to faith, family, identity and purpose when the empty chair becomes permanent … and how GOD can meet us there. When someone we love dies, life changes forever. Faith can become complicated. Questions about GOD can become unavoidable, joy can feel disloyal, and the empty chair at the table can remain painfully real. This podcast doesn't offer easy answers or ask you to "move on." Instead we walk together through the hard questions of grief -- anger, doubt, faith, marriage, family, surviving siblings, holidays, anniversaries, and what it means to build a life you never imagined living. Through personal stories and conversations with bereaved parents and siblings, as well as honest reflections about GOD and scripture, we explore what it means to grieve deeply while still holding on to hope. Because hope doesn't forget the empty chair! Hope After Child & Sibling Loss is part of the Empty Chair Endeavor - a place where grief is welcomed, faith is allowed to wrestle with difficult questions, and those who have lost someone they love can discover that they are not alone. The host, Greg Buffkin, brings his personal experience with grief into this role, after he and his wife Cathy experienced the devastating loss of their 26 year old son Ryan to suicide in October 2015. DISCLAIMER: The views, beliefs, and opinions expressed by our guests may not necessarily be shared by this podcast or its host. We believe there is only one triune GOD: the Father, His son Jesus Christ, and His Holy Spirit. We believe that  Jesus humbled himself to become fully human, conceived by the virgin Mary through the Holy Spirit, retained his divine character and identity, lived a sinless life, executed on a Roman cross as an atonement for the sinfulness of mankind, buried, and raised back to life three days later to offer the hope of eternal life to all who would receive his free gift by grace through faith. Jesus tells us in John 14:6 "I am the way and the truth, and the life. No one comes to the Father except through me."  * Reaching over 100 countries with messages of hope.

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