The Gift of Help: For yourself & each other

Ashley Usiskin
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  • MENTAL HEALTH
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How do we encourage more of us to accept help when it’s offered, and ask for help when they need it? As I deal with the challenge of living with a lymphoma and chemotherapy, I’ve encountered some life-changing lessons about the gift of help. The transformative realisation that accepting help is a gift since you give the chance for the help giver to experience joy, pride and/or the feel good factor of supporting someone they care about. So I’m now on a mission to transform us all from a world of help rejectors to help receivers. So we can all revel in the Gift of Help. This first season features conversations with people who share their inspiring health journey stories of how they’ve overcome cancer, concussion, ankle reconstructions, blindness. We discuss their raw and honest experience of asking for and accepting help and how this has changed and supported them. And then importantly we reveal some ways that they find useful to get over mental blocks to accept and ask for help.

  1. Ep. 17 What changed when Sam asked for help: Escaping shame to feeling enough, liberated & genuinely successful

    12/17/2025

    Ep. 17 What changed when Sam asked for help: Escaping shame to feeling enough, liberated & genuinely successful

    In this deeply honest and moving episode, Ashley sits down with Sam Thomas, a Brighton-based entrepreneur, podcast host, mental health advocate and founder of the Y'Alright Mate? campaign. Sam shares, with remarkable openness, the moments that brought him to his knees, from nearly losing his daughter at birth, to the self-worth challenges that led him to thoughts of suicide in his late 30s. What unfolds is not just a story of survival, but a powerful reflection on why asking for help is so hard, and why it can be life-saving.  And transformative from shame and feeling “I’m not enough” to believing “I am enough”, we discuss how how asking for help transforms self-worth, dissolves inadequacy and opens the door to genuine support Together, Ashley and Sam explore: How early childhood narratives shape our relationship with vulnerabilityWhy men are often taught to “get on with it”, and the cost of that silenceFrom shame and feeling “I’m not enough” to believing “I am enough” - how asking for help transforms self-worth, dissolves inadequacy and opens the door to genuine supportHow outdated definitions of success quietly damage mental healthWhy and how two emotions can coexist: strength and fear, optimism and griefHow asking for help can become a life-changing gift, not a burdenThis episode is a raw, human conversation about shame, identity, masculinity and the courage it takes to let others in - especially when you’ve spent your life being the strong one.   Key Themes & Moments Growing up working-class and learning to survive without asking for helpBecoming a father, and navigating three weeks of terrifying uncertaintyToxic positivity and emotional suppressionHitting rock bottom and questioning whether life was worth continuingRedefining success as love, relationships and alignmentLearning to say: “I need help”  and letting others respondWhy reframing help as a gift changes everythingThe power of a simple question: “You Alright, mate?”About Sam Thomas Sam is a social entrepreneur and mental health advocate based in Brighton. He is the founder of the You Alright Mate? campaign, encouraging men to check in on each other and normalise honest conversations around mental health and suicide prevention. A Simple Ask Sam’s invitation is beautifully simple: Check in on someone this week and ask "You Alright mate?" One message. One question. One moment of connection. Because sometimes, that question really can save a life. Links & Resources You Alright Mate? Campaign - https://www.different-hats.co.uk/you-alright-mateThe Gift of Help mission and services - www.thegiftofhelp.orgIf this conversation resonated with you, please consider sharing it with someone who might need it, and remember: asking for help is not weakness, it’s courage. You can contact me on: Email: ashley@thegiftofhelp.org Facebook: Ashley Usiskin Instagram: @gift_of_accepting_help_podcast Linked: https://www.linkedin.com/in/ashleyusiskin/

    1h 12m

  2. 04/21/2024

    Ep. 16: Getting over your fears: Harnessing the power of help to launch a game-changing business

    This episode is with Nicolette Lazarus, a self-described midlife woman, solo female founder  with  a 100% record of getting through bad days.   Her life has been quite a  journey - growing up in an immigrant family in the early 70s, having her attitude to help inadvertently imprinted by an incident with her younger smarter brother, battling to have a successful career in advertising, a post-divorce transformational solo  adventure through Australia’s outback,  through to a deeply challenging time during her 40’s navigating perimenopause.   All of this has led her to follow her purpose and start Womanship, a game-changing help each other community for women and wellness providers.    Some themes we cover: The influence on her attitude to help of a seemingly innocuous encounters in ur childhood Eldest child syndrome and expectation to help other people  Needing to prove we can do things and as good as other people prevent us from us asking for help How self-acceptance is vital to getting comfortable to have the self-worth to ask for help. Holding space for people to talk is a priceless form of offering help  Difficulty to talk about the very private experience of miscarriage  The importance of asking for help you become the person that you know you have the potential to become. The historical negative cognation of therapy and help can hold people back from seeking support The easier approach to ask for help on behalf of your passion project versus asking explicitly for yourself. Being specific with your ask is a great way to  increase your success at getting a successful outcome to your request. Telling yourself what’s the worst that can happen will help get over your fears of asking. Want to get  early access  to Nicolette's Womanship platform?   You can sign up at www.womanship.co and/or follow  @_Womanship on Instagram for inspirational content and exclusive updates.  #sharemoreworryless You can contact me on: Email: ashley@thegiftofhelp.org Facebook: Ashley Usiskin Instagram: @gift_of_accepting_help_podcast Linked: https://www.linkedin.com/in/ashleyusiskin/

    58 min

  3. 01/13/2024

    Ep. 15: Priceless lessons about ‘Help’ from surviving skin cancer and starting up your own business

    This episode is with Greg Allon, father of 3, Chief Operating Officer at a TV Production company, enthusiastic runner, blog writer and aspirational author 15 years ago he was diagnosed with malignant melanoma whilst his youngest of three kids was 9 months old.  And then a couple of years later, he started a spinning studios business with his sister and brother-in-law. We discuss his insights on help from these life-changing experiences and how they have fundamentally changed his outlook on life. How they’ve acted as a reminder of how priceless the help from his wife, family and friends was during those tough times, and even now as he takes on new challenges including writing a novel.   Some of themes we cover are: Children naturally ask for help, as we become adults we overthink it.Hierarchy of help - the multiple ways it can be offered, publicly or anonymously help, accepted and asked forThe challenge help offerers experience in asking for help themselvesThe resistance to asking for help, and the reliance on your partner to be one’s ‘help crutch’The importance of asking for help for emotional and mental support as much as for practical, logistical support The closer you are to your family and friends the easier to ask for help Illness is more straight forward to ask for help, but it’s other less obvious situations that are nearly as valuable to ask for help, but it’s harder because it’s less obvious you need it.  The partner needs as much if not more help and support than the person who’s sick.  When starting a business how important it is consider what happens if it just goes, ok and to keep going only if you maintain your current job commitment.  Not just consider if it’s a failure or a great success. Starting and running a business has inevitable waves of crisis and low points, where you’re verging on being desperate and forced to ask for helpHow one particular friend went way beyond expectations to help and find ways to keep Greg’s  business goingAsking people for favours, help, advice and intros historically didn’t come naturally, but the harsh start up experience has now made that much more natural.  The more times you now practise asking for help and make it become a habit, the more proficient and comfortable you becomeThe Benjamin Franklin effect - by asking a favour and advice can reframe an adversarial relationship to a trusting and valued one. How giving help is part of self-fulfilment and as such can be considered the top of Maslow’s Hierarchy of Needs  You can contact me on: Email: ashley@thegiftofhelp.org Facebook: Ashley Usiskin Instagram: @gift_of_accepting_help_podcast Linked: https://www.linkedin.com/in/ashleyusiskin/

    56 min

  4. 08/27/2023

    Ep. 14: 6 Life-enhancing take-aways from meeting Simon Sinek

    Recently I had the remarkable experience of meeting Simon Sinek, the renowned author,  inspirational speaker and podcast host.  It represented a  wonderful reminder of you how when we dare to ask for help amazing things can happen.  In this episode I share how the experience has underlined and highlighted so many life enhancing themes I'm increasingly now living my life by, ones that will hopefully help and inspire you on your journey to live the life you want. 1. Manifesting: Things don’t just happen by chance, we can make them happen.  Being clear as to what you want in life - both the feeling and the and that you feel it and deserve it, it will happen.  2. Meeting the universe half way:  Be receptive to and recognise opportunities when they present themselves and why it happens in that moment and and in that way.  3. Journey not the destination:  Liberating to let go of expecting or being driven by certain outcomes.  To embrace each moment, encounter and opportunity that can then let the surprising magic happen.  4. Authenticity: being authentic enables game-changing things to happen.  It creates stronger connections, a sense of trust that can only enrich your life 5. Gratitude: simple but important reminder that it boosts your own mindset and mood.  For help when it’s offered, for opportunities the universe gives you, and for the people that in your life. And to be grateful for yourself, who you are, how you show up and what you give the world.    6. Purpose: Benefit of being able to capture your purpose, and then tap into and live and breathe it. With this Gift of Help project I feel like I’m doing so.  You can contact me on: Email: ashley@thegiftofhelp.org Facebook: Ashley Usiskin Instagram: @gift_of_accepting_help_podcast Linked: https://www.linkedin.com/in/ashleyusiskin/

    13 min

  5. 08/15/2023

    Ep 13: Meeting Simon Sinek: An inspiring story about daring to ask

    This episode tells the inspiring personal story of the life-changing benefits of practising what I’m preaching.  To be aware of and have the motivation to overcome your blockers and asking for help.   And for this to massively serve me when I recently met Simon Sinek, and how this has led to a massive step forward on my journey to increase the impact of my Gift of Help project. I hope this inspires you as much as it has me. You can contact me on: Email: ashley@thegiftofhelp.org Facebook: Ashley Usiskin Instagram: @gift_of_accepting_help_podcast Linked: https://www.linkedin.com/in/ashleyusiskin/

    14 min

  6. 07/09/2023

    Nugget #8: The benefits to you, and those around you, of accepting help unconditionally

    Here’s a few nuggets and insights from the clip of my conversation with Matt Black a colon cancer survivor and now charismatic campaigner. Accepting help with unconditional gratitude, can trigger not only an unexpected mood and energy boost for yourself, but also for the help giver and the wonderful ripple effect onto those around them.   And how this in general breeds a sense of love and gratitude, support and friendship. Plus also we talk about the power of a thinking of you reach out and offer to help out to not only the person who’s going through a health or life challenge  but to those close to them. You can listen to the full episode and Matt's story and his inspiring attitude here: https://www.thegiftofhelp.org/2075728/12711782   You can contact me on: Email: ashley@thegiftofhelp.org Facebook: Ashley Usiskin Instagram: @gift_of_accepting_help_podcast Linked: https://www.linkedin.com/in/ashleyusiskin/

    11 min

  7. 06/29/2023 · BONUS

    Nugget #7: Extraordinary power of human connection simply from accepting help

    In this short clip from my conversation with David Smith, the gold-winning Paralympian, we talk about the joy and priceless value of human connection from simply asking, offering and accepting help even with strangers.  Plus how his attitude of being curious, compassionate and courageous underpins all of this.  You can listen to the full episode and David's extraordinarily inspirational story and life philosophy here: https://www.thegiftofhelp.org/2075728/12726621 You can contact me on: Email: ashley@thegiftofhelp.org Facebook: Ashley Usiskin Instagram: @gift_of_accepting_help_podcast Linked: https://www.linkedin.com/in/ashleyusiskin/

    7 min

  8. 05/21/2023

    Nugget #6: The joy of being asked for help

    This clip is from conversation with Osher Günsberg. In the spirit of the joy of being asked for help, we talk about it being not the survival of the fittest, but more survival of the friendliest.  And that as a species we have succeeded because we are cooperative and our brains are hardwired to reward us when we help others. You can contact me on: Email: ashley@thegiftofhelp.org Facebook: Ashley Usiskin Instagram: @gift_of_accepting_help_podcast Linked: https://www.linkedin.com/in/ashleyusiskin/

    8 min
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Trailer

About

How do we encourage more of us to accept help when it’s offered, and ask for help when they need it? As I deal with the challenge of living with a lymphoma and chemotherapy, I’ve encountered some life-changing lessons about the gift of help. The transformative realisation that accepting help is a gift since you give the chance for the help giver to experience joy, pride and/or the feel good factor of supporting someone they care about. So I’m now on a mission to transform us all from a world of help rejectors to help receivers. So we can all revel in the Gift of Help. This first season features conversations with people who share their inspiring health journey stories of how they’ve overcome cancer, concussion, ankle reconstructions, blindness. We discuss their raw and honest experience of asking for and accepting help and how this has changed and supported them. And then importantly we reveal some ways that they find useful to get over mental blocks to accept and ask for help.

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