Why Didn’t They Tell Us? Self-Confidence Coaching For Teen Girls

Leslie Randolph
  • 5.0 (24)
  • SELF-IMPROVEMENT
  • UPDATED BIMONTHLY

Leslie Randolph is a self-confidence coach for teenage girls and the self-confidence coach you wish you had as a teen. In fact, she’s the self-confidence coach she wishes SHE had as a teen because she knows she could’ve avoided a whole lotta heartache, if only she knew the secrets she shares in “Why Didn’t They Tell Us?” Leslie didn’t know she could love her body at any size. No one told her that self-confidence was a choice she could choose to make (and one she was worthy of choosing). She didn’t know self-love and self-compassion were more motivating than emotionally beating herself up every time she missed the mark on achieving a goal. No one told her that guilt was an optional emotion, even for “nice Jewish girls” like her. From tips for cultivating self-confidence and combatting imposter syndrome to learning strategies for self-love and silencing negative self-talk, “Why Didn’t Tell Us?” is a gift of love and wisdom for the insecure teenage girl that still exists in all of us.

  1. FEB 4

    Why High Achievers Struggle With Confidence

    High achievers often look confident from the outside while quietly running on fear, urgency, and the belief that their worth depends on never slipping up.   Leslie Randolph is joined by Pooja Venkatraman, an executive coach, former management consultant, and self-described recovered stressed-out high achiever, to unpack a pattern many confident teens and confident women recognize but rarely question. Self-confidence becomes conditional. Perform well and it feels intact. Miss the mark and it starts to wobble. Grades, praise, titles, and approval quietly become proof of worth rather than outcomes of effort. Pooja explains why high-achievers often operate in fight-or-flight mode, where overworking, procrastination, freezing, and perfectionism make sense when the brain believes mistakes threaten belonging or value. These beliefs often form early and follow confident teens into adulthood, shaping confident women at work and at home.   The conversation offers a healthier framework for achievement and self-confidence rooted in flow rather than fear. Flow supports focused effort without panic, rest without guilt, and decisions without self-punishment. Instead of chasing confidence through constant performance, listeners are invited to rethink where self-confidence really comes from. What would change if it were a skill you could return to again and again, rather than something you had to earn through relentless achievement?   Episode Breakdown: 00:00 Why High Achievers Struggle With Self-Confidence 08:15 Fight or Flight and the Hidden Cost of Perfectionism 15:10 Flow vs. Fear-Based Achievement 20:42 Why External Validation Never Creates Lasting Confidence 25:21 Mission-Driven Success Without Burnout 32:38 Shifting Out of Fight or Flight as a High Achiever Connect with Pooja Venkatraman: Learn More About Pooja's Work Connect with Pooja on IG Follow Pooja on LinkedIn Connect With Leslie: Help Your Teen Cultivate Confidence Website Instagram Facebook Podcast production and show notes provided by HiveCast.fm

    43 min

  2. JAN 21

    How Ordinary Moments Shape Self-Confidence with Rin-rin Yu

    Self-confidence is built in the moments no one applauds, the awkward missteps and quiet choices that shape how girls learn to trust themselves long before anyone is watching.   Leslie Randolph sits down with journalist and author Rin-rin Yu for a grounded conversation about where confidence actually comes from and why the ordinary moments of childhood matter more than the polished highlights. Drawing from Rin-rin’s debut novel Goodbye French Fry, they talk about bullying, belonging, embarrassment, and the internal shift that happens when a girl realizes she can handle hard things. What changes when confidence grows from self-trust instead of approval? How do everyday experiences quietly shape a girl’s sense of who she is?   The conversation also explores identity, representation, and the pressure to fit in during the tween years. Rin-rin reflects on growing up without seeing herself in books and why normal stories deserve just as much space as extraordinary ones. Leslie connects these ideas to her work with teens and parents, offering a clear reminder that confidence is learned through experience, reflection, and support rather than perfection.   This episode invites parents to slow down and notice the small wins that rarely make headlines. What moments are shaping your daughter right now? And how might honoring the ordinary help her build confidence that lasts? Episode Breakdown: 00:00 Why Self-Confidence Is a Skill Teen Girls Can Learn 03:05 Goodbye French Fry and the Ordinary Moments That Build Self-Confidence 04:39 Why Representation in Books Shapes Identity, Self-Worth, and Belonging 07:56 Bullying and Self-Confidence: Standing Up for Yourself at Age 10 12:35 Embarrassment, Mistakes, and Resilience as Core Confidence Skills 14:54 Cultural Identity and Name Mispronunciation: Helping Kids Feel They Belong 21:55 Journaling and Daily Reflection as a Confidence-Building Practice 30:56 Curiosity vs Mockery: Teaching Kids to Respect Differences 38:49 Perfection Pressure and Self-Forgiveness in a High-Achievement World Connect with Rin-rin Yu: Website Instagram Connect With Leslie: Help Your Teen Cultivate Confidence Website Instagram Facebook Podcast production and show notes provided by HiveCast.fm

    42 min

  3. JAN 7

    Your Most Confident Year Yet

    Self-confidence is not a personality trait you either have or lack but a skill you can choose to build and strengthen starting right now.   This conversation reframes self-confidence as something you practice through daily choices rather than something reserved for confident women or naturally confident teens. Leslie Randolph invites listeners to see confidence as a skill built with intention through how you speak to yourself, how you follow through and how you respond when discomfort shows up. The message is practical and grounded with reassurance that becoming more self-confident is possible at any stage of life.   Listeners are guided to consider what a truly confident year would look like in real terms. What decisions might change if self-confidence led the way? What would you stop tolerating? What would you try if fear did not get the final vote? Leslie breaks confidence into three core foundations: thinking highly of yourself, building self-trust and allowing uncomfortable emotions without letting them control your actions.   This episode speaks directly to moms of teens as well as the teens themselves with a reminder that confidence is learned through modeling and repetition. When adults practice self-confidence out loud young people learn how to do the same. The takeaway is clear and empowering. Self-confidence grows when you keep promises to yourself, trust your inner voice and take action even when doubt is present.    Episode Breakdown: 00:00 What Self-Confidence Really Is and Why It Matters 09:57 The Three Foundations of Self-Confidence 14:51 How to Build Self-Confidence Through Intentional Goals 20:14 Choosing Confidence and Taking Courageous Action Connect With Leslie: Help Your Teen Cultivate Confidence Website Instagram Facebook Podcast production and show notes provided by HiveCast.fm

    21 min

  4. 12/24/2025

    The Year’s Best Self-Confidence Advice: Lessons for Moms Raising Confident Girls

    Raising confident girls starts with how moms regulate emotions, make decisions under pressure and talk to themselves when parenting gets hard.   This year-end episode reflects on self-confidence through the lens of motherhood, offering insight for raising self-confident girls who grow into confident teens and confident women. Drawing from conversations with Dr. Lisa Klein, Nina Badzin, Abby Gagerman, Emily Gordon, Heather Redisch, and Simone Knego, these moments stayed with me long after the mic turned off because they speak to what actually shapes confidence in real life, especially during the emotionally charged seasons of raising teens.   Again and again, the conversation returns to the same truth. Kids are still figuring themselves out emotionally and neurologically, which makes the intensity make sense even when it feels overwhelming. Belonging matters, but tying worth to approval creates fragile self-confidence. Painful moments do not need to be erased to be survivable. When we lead with regulation, patience, and repair, we give our kids something far sturdier than quick solutions.   The lens also turns inward. What happens when we release the pressure to make the perfect call every time? How does parenting shift when self-trust replaces second-guessing? The way we speak to ourselves quietly teaches our children how to respond to their own doubt, disappointment, and discomfort.   As the year comes to a close, this episode offers a steadier way to think about self-confidence. Not something to manufacture or guard, but something practiced daily through presence, perspective, and self-respect.   Episode Breakdown: 00:00 Reflections on 2025: Lessons and Growth 02:26 Understanding Tween and Teen Development 06:38 The Importance of Friendships and Community 13:51 Navigating Social Struggles and Emotional Resilience  19:40 Deciding When to Let Kids Quit  25:59 Building Real-World Skills for Independence 30:14 Practicing Self-Confidence Daily Connect With Leslie: Help Your Teen Cultivate Confidence Website Instagram Facebook Podcast production and show notes provided by HiveCast.fm

    38 min

  5. 12/10/2025

    How to Stop Caring What Other People Think

    What if the loudest voice shaping your confidence has never belonged to “them” at all but to the stories you’ve been telling yourself about their opinions?   This throwback episode takes a fresh look at validation and why so many of us treat other people’s opinions as the final verdict on our worth. Leslie Randolph breaks down how this instinct forms, why it feels so compelling, and how it quietly chips away at self-confidence when we rely on external cues to decide who we can be. She invites you to question the idea of “everyone” watching or judging and to notice how often those fears come from your own inner dialogue rather than real people with real thoughts. What shifts if you stop assuming the worst? What new moves become possible when your own approval matters more than imagined commentary from the sidelines?   This episode offers a practical path back to self-confidence through stronger self-trust. Confidence expands when you give yourself the validation you keep seeking elsewhere and take action anyway—whether that means pitching the idea, wearing the loud dress, trying something new, or choosing a path that feels true to you. It’s a reminder that the most powerful relationship you build is the one you build with yourself.   Episode Breakdown: 00:00 The  Core Idea of Self-Confidence 06:09 How Others’ Opinions Shape Confidence 09:06 Why We’re Wired to Seek Validation 15:09 Caring About Opinions Without Losing Yourself 17:52 Identifying Who “They” Really Are 20:46 How to Challenge Assumed Judgments 23:56 Strengthening Self-Trust and Personal Confidence   Connect With Leslie: Help Your Teen Cultivate Confidence Website Instagram Facebook Podcast production and show notes provided by HiveCast.fm

    37 min

  6. 11/26/2025

    Why Positivity Feels Hard (And How to Make it Easier)

    Positivity turns out to be less of a lucky personality trait and more of a skill you can shape with intention.   At the center of this conversation is a simple idea: confidence grows when you learn to guide your attention instead of letting your brain run on autopilot. Leslie Randolph explains why teens often slip into negative thinking and why women who want stronger self-confidence feel the same pull. The mind naturally scans for what feels hard, yet the ability to shift toward positivity is always available once you understand that this habit can be trained.   From there, Leslie highlights the practices that make optimism feel real rather than forced. Catching yourself in a spiral, pausing long enough to ask a better question, and using gratitude as a grounding tool help confident teens and confident women build a steadier inner voice. Even small changes in daily conversation, like naming what went well, create a mindset that notices good moments with more clarity. The heart of her message is simple: positivity becomes a powerful part of your life when you choose it with intention, and that choice strengthens self-confidence in ways that last.   Episode Breakdown: 00:00 The Quest for Positivity 03:45 Genetics vs. Choice: Understanding Positivity 09:29 Shifting Perspectives Through Mindfulness 15:13 Building a Daily Habit of Positivity 19:11 Positivity and Reality: Finding the Balance Connect with Leslie Randolph: Help your teen cultivate confidence! Visit Leslie’s website Follow Leslie on Instagram Follow Leslie on Facebook Podcast production and show notes provided by HiveCast.fm

    21 min

  7. 11/12/2025

    Why Mindfulness Matters for Young Minds with Julie Freeman

    Mindfulness stops being a buzzword when kids learn to use it in real time to calm their bodies, name their feelings, and stay connected to their breath when life gets loud.   Leslie sits down with Julie Freeman, Executive Director of KNOWTICE, to talk about how mindfulness for kids can shape the kind of self-awareness that leads to genuine self-confidence. Julie shares how small, repeatable moments, like pausing to notice a feeling or grounding the body before reacting, help children manage stress, stay present, and access their best thinking. When mindfulness starts early, kids learn they have control over their reactions, which builds emotional strength that grows with them through adolescence and adulthood.   The conversation goes beyond quiet moments and breathing exercises to reveal how these early lessons create confident teens who trust themselves and understand their emotions. Leslie and Julie also reflect on how this work ripples forward into adulthood, showing up in the way confident women lead, parent, and care for themselves. By teaching kids mindfulness now, we give them tools to feel steady in uncertainty and connected to who they are - a foundation every confident person stands on.   Episode Breakdown: 00:00 Why Mindfulness Matters Now 05:28 KNOWTICE Origin Story and Julie Freeman’s Path 11:32 Why Start Early Mindfulness for Kids and Brain Development 16:54 Classroom Basics Mindful Body Stillness and Calming Techniques 22:23 Mindful Parenting and Raising Confident Teens 31:24 The 90-Second Rule and Managing Anxiety in Real Time 43:17 From Mindful Kids to Confident Women 45:42 How to Bring KNOWTICE to Your School Connect with Julie Freeman: Learn More About KNOWTICE Connect with Leslie Randolph: Help your teen cultivate confidence! Visit Leslie’s website Follow Leslie on Instagram Follow Leslie on Facebook Podcast production and show notes provided by HiveCast.fm

    46 min

  8. 10/22/2025

    REAL Self-Confidence with Simone Knego

    Confidence isn’t a personality trait you’re born with but a daily choice you make in the smallest moments.   Self-confidence doesn’t always show up with fireworks. Sometimes it starts as a mindset shift so small no one else can hear it, a quiet decision to replace old self-talk with something kinder. Leslie Randolph sits down with Simone Knego to redefine what it really means to become confident women and raise confident teens, not through perfection or performance but through daily honesty and courage.   Simone’s REAL framework (Respect yourself, Embrace failures, Ask for what you want, Live without limits) turns self-confidence into something you can build like a muscle. She shares stories from motherhood, adventure, and loss that reveal how mindset isn’t just what you think, but how you recover, reset, and speak to yourself when things get hard.    If your inner voice became a loudspeaker, would it motivate you or tear you down? Whether you’re working on your own self-confidence or trying to model it for someone watching, this episode is a reminder that confident women aren’t born - they’re built one thought, one ask, one brave moment at a time.   Episode Breakdown 00:00 Why Self-Confidence Matters for Women and Teens 02:23 Simone Knego’s REAL Method for Building Confidence 07:45 How Self-Talk Shapes Your Mindset 09:02 Modeling Confidence for Children and Confident Teens 15:05 Climbing Kilimanjaro to Overcome Fear 20:08 Asking for Help and Breaking People-Pleasing Habits 26:39 Control-Alt-Delete Mindset Reset 32:06 Moving Forward After Setbacks and Self-Doubt 37:01 Daily Confidence Practices: Affirmations and Gratitude   Connect With Simone Knego: Visit Simone’s website   Connect With Leslie Randolph: Help your teen cultivate confidence! Visit Leslie’s website Follow Leslie on Instagram Follow Leslie on Facebook Podcast production and show notes provided by HiveCast.fm

    42 min
See All (74)

5
out of 5
24 Ratings

About

Leslie Randolph is a self-confidence coach for teenage girls and the self-confidence coach you wish you had as a teen. In fact, she’s the self-confidence coach she wishes SHE had as a teen because she knows she could’ve avoided a whole lotta heartache, if only she knew the secrets she shares in “Why Didn’t They Tell Us?” Leslie didn’t know she could love her body at any size. No one told her that self-confidence was a choice she could choose to make (and one she was worthy of choosing). She didn’t know self-love and self-compassion were more motivating than emotionally beating herself up every time she missed the mark on achieving a goal. No one told her that guilt was an optional emotion, even for “nice Jewish girls” like her. From tips for cultivating self-confidence and combatting imposter syndrome to learning strategies for self-love and silencing negative self-talk, “Why Didn’t Tell Us?” is a gift of love and wisdom for the insecure teenage girl that still exists in all of us.

Information

You Might Also Like