This episode marks a new segment where Caroline and Linda respond directly to listener calls. This week, they address a heartfelt voice message from a listener grappling with the recent loss of her husband and the profound impact it's had on her and her two dogs. This episode delves into the complex interplay of grief in both humans and their canine companions following a significant loss. Caroline and Linda offer compassionate guidance and practical advice, emphasising self-kindness for the grieving human and understanding the dogs' perspective during this challenging time. Understanding Grief's Impact on Humans and Dogs: Grief often manifests as a "heavy feeling," making it hard to think clearly or plan. Dogs are highly attuned to human emotions and can sense shifts in their human's emotional well-being and predictability. Dogs also experience grief for a lost family member. Releasing Guilt: The hosts strongly advocate for letting go of guilt over your emotions impacting your dogs. It's important to remember that life must continue, even with difficult adjustments. Letting Your Dog Help You: Instead of feeling solely responsible for "helping" your dog, allow them to comfort you. The Power of Touch: Physical contact with your dog can be incredibly therapeutic. If your dog is comfortable, stroke them. Looking and Talking: If touch isn't comfortable for your dog, looking lovingly into their eyes and talking to them can also release bonding hormones and provide comfort. Practical Support for You and Your Dogs: Community Support: Don't be afraid to ask friends, family, or neighbours for help with your dogs, such as walks or short visits, to alleviate guilt and provide your dogs with companionship. Professional Help: Consider a dog walker or sitter, even a few times a week, if financially possible. Filming Your Dogs: If you're concerned about how your dogs are coping when home alone, consider filming them to assess their behaviour. Morning Routines: Give yourself permission to take mornings easier when grief can be most challenging. Daily Walks: Even short walks can provide structure, a sense of accomplishment, and opportunities to connect with others. Adjusting Living Arrangements (The "Bedroom Rule"): Consider allowing your dogs to sleep closer to you, even in your bedroom, if it brings you comfort and doesn't create other issues (e.g., guarding). This can provide extra companionship during a time of loneliness. This marks a "change in privilege" for your dog during a significant life change. Addressing Specific Dog Behaviours: Vet Checks: For older dogs exhibiting new demanding behaviours, a vet check is always recommended to rule out any underlying medical or cognitive issues. Calming Support: For younger dogs showing fear or excessive barking, natural calming supplements might offer short-term support. Mental Enrichment: Simple, quick mental enrichment activities like food scatters, hide-and-seek with food, or "free work" (doggy obstacle courses) can help tire your dogs out mentally without requiring a lot of effort from you. Maintaining Structure: While flexibility is important, maintaining some "cornerstones" or "pillars" of your day, such as consistent mealtimes and bedtimes, can provide comfort and predictability for your dogs. More frequent, smaller meals might also help dogs struggling with appetite due to sadness. Grief and Self-Kindness: Each loss is significant and painful; don't expect to "get used to grief." Practice patience and self-kindness during this time. Grief cannot be hurried and requires time to heal. Embrace support from your "village" when caring for your dogs. Call to Action: If you're struggling with challenges related to living with, training, or connecting with your dog, or any stresses and strains of life with your dog, please share your story by leaving a voice note at speakpipe.com/bothends. Caroline and Linda would love to help in a future episode!
