Five Aside

Five-aside
  • 5.0 (6)
  • Soccer
  • Updated Weekly

This is the Five-a-side pod, essentially a futbol podcast although once in a while we will delve into other topics such as lifestyle, social/political issues, history etc

  1. 4d ago

    Nigeria Needs Open-Heart Surgery, City in the Dock & Ronaldo Won’t Let Go 😭

    International break was supposed to give us peace. Instead, Nigeria broke hearts again, Manchester City gave football another courtroom saga, and Cristiano Ronaldo reminded everyone that even legends struggle with knowing when it’s time to step aside. The Five Aside crew gets into the state of the Super Eagles — from the NFF and player development to whether Nigerian football genuinely needs to be rebuilt from the ground up. Then the conversation turns to Manchester City: punishment, relegation, title stripping, the psychological effect on the squad, and whether what happens off the pitch can really be separated from what City achieved on it. Then comes Ronaldo. Should Portugal still accommodate one of the greatest players ever, or has CR7 reached the point where his role has to change? And to finish it off: Lamine Yamal, Mbappé, Harry Kane, Rodri — who actually deserves the Ballon d’Or? Plus, the Five Aside jersey makes an appearance. 👀 Everything Ball Knowledge. Sept 30 Timestamps 00:00 — Intro & Five Aside jersey teaser 02:00 — Nigeria have broken our hearts AGAIN 🇳🇬 03:00 — Has supporting the Super Eagles become numb? 05:00 — Nigeria have lost their fear factor 07:00 — “Disband the Super Eagles for five years” 😭 08:00 — Is the real problem the NFF? 10:00 — Pride, cliques & Nigeria’s national-team culture 14:00 — How bad is this generation of Nigerian players? 16:00 — Are we overrating the Super Eagles squad? 18:00 — Nigeria’s missing youth-development pipeline 21:00 — Infrastructure, pitches & the deeper Nigerian football crisis 27:00 — What Nigeria actually needs to rebuild 30:00 — “Nigerian football needs open-heart surgery” 31:00 — Manchester City: the case takes over the show 34:00 — Can City’s success be separated from the allegations? 38:00 — “Accounting Yahoo Yahoo” 😭 42:00 — Should Manchester City lose their titles? 47:00 — Relegation, points deductions & what punishment could mean 49:00 — Will the City situation affect Haaland and the players? 53:00 — Can Manchester City create a siege mentality? 56:00 — Cristiano Ronaldo enters the chat… SIUUU 😭 57:00 — Is Ronaldo becoming a problem for Portugal? 59:00 — “Sometimes you’re the last person to know the game has passed you” 1:00:00 — Is Ronaldo actually being DISRESPECTED? 1:03:00 — Can any manager really drop Ronaldo? 1:05:00 — What Ronaldo’s Portugal role should be now 1:06:00 — “Does Ronaldo respect Portugal?” 1:07:00 — Ballon d’Or debate begins 🏆 1:08:00 — Kane vs Mbappé vs Lamine Yamal 1:10:00 — Does PR influence the Ballon d’Or? 1:12:00 — Why aren’t we talking about Haaland? 1:14:00 — How much should the World Cup matter? 1:16:00 — Rodri vs truly dominant World Cup performances 1:17:00 — Five Aside jersey reveal 👕🔥 1:19:00 — Outro: Everything Ball Knowledge

    Nigeria Needs Open-Heart Surgery, City in the Dock & Ronaldo Won’t Let Go 😭

  2. Sep 26

    115 Problems, But a Point Ain't One? Man City's Day of Reckoning! ⚖️💰

    Manchester City are in the hot seat, and Nnamdi is NOT sweating! 😂 Dalu and Nnamdi go head-to-head over City's reported financial-rule verdict, the prospect of massive points deductions, transfer bans, relegation and even stripped Premier League titles. Could City's lawyers drag this out for years? Is the Premier League really prepared to punish one of its biggest money-makers? Plus, what does it all mean for Pep Guardiola's legacy? Would Arsenal, Liverpool or Manchester United ever see those lost titles again? And why does Nnamdi think City could survive even a 50-point deduction? We wrap up with international-break banter, Nigeria and Erling Haaland's pursuit of 1,000 goals. Disclaimer: This episode discusses the hosts' understanding of reported developments and their opinions on possible sanctions. Their statements about a guilty verdict and specific charges have not been independently verified. Timestamps Time Chapter 00:00 Emergency Pod: Man City's 115 Problems 01:01 Nnamdi's Not Worried: City's Appeal Strategy 02:39 Breaking Down the Financial Allegations 05:10 Is Man City Too Valuable to Punish? 07:02 Appeals, Lawyers and the Waiting Game 09:17 Should City Lose Their Premier League Titles? 11:13 Points Deductions, Transfer Bans and Relegation 13:27 Money Talks: Can Rich Clubs Get Away With It? 16:10 Would Arsenal, Liverpool or United Get Their Titles? 17:05 A £150 Million Fine and a 50-Point Deduction? 17:41 Does This Tarnish Pep Guardiola's Legacy? 20:53 International Break: Haaland and Nigeria 21:56 Haaland's 1,000-Goal Ambition 22:16 Five Aside Jerseys and Outro

    115 Problems, But a Point Ain't One? Man City's Day of Reckoning! ⚖️💰

  3. Sep 24

    Ballon d’Or Campaigns 🏆 | Madrid in Crisis, Barça Hype & Premier League Propaganda

    The international break is here, and the agendas are cooking! 🍳⚽ This week on Five Aside, we dive into the Ballon d'Or campaign madness. Is Lamine Yamal's hype justified? Is Harry Kane being disrespected despite his ridiculous numbers? And has football learned absolutely nothing from the Messi vs. Ronaldo era? Then things get heated as we settle into the Premier League vs. La Liga debate. Could Barcelona really dominate England the way they dominate Spain, or would the Premier League humble them? We also examine Real Madrid's growing problems, Xabi Alonso's rebuilding challenge, and whether individual brilliance can still carry Los Blancos. Finally, we get nostalgic about the Premier League legends we'd bring back to fix today's teams. Expect hot takes, shameless agendas, football nostalgia, and plenty of banter. Subscribe to Five Aside and let us know: Who deserves the Ballon d'Or, and which league actually runs football? Timestamps 0:00 — Intro & Agenda Season 1:25 — International Break: Too Long? 4:41 — Players Pulling Out of International Duty 7:49 — Ballon d'Or Campaigning: Mbappé vs Lamine Yamal 8:25 — Black Superstars & Media Scrutiny 11:18 — Does Harry Kane Deserve the Ballon d'Or? 15:00 — Messi vs Ronaldo Ballon d'Or Bias 22:30 — La Liga vs Premier League Debate 23:13 — Could Barcelona Survive in the Prem? 27:41 — Real Madrid's Decline & Rebuild 36:24 — Best Right Wingers in the World 39:43 — Legendary Players to Complete Our Team 45:59 — Nigeria & AFCON Qualifiers 47:19 — Outro & Subscribe

    Ballon d’Or Campaigns 🏆 | Madrid in Crisis, Barça Hype & Premier League Propaganda

  4. Sep 21

    United Are STARVING, Arsenal Get Humbled & Spurs Fans Still Believe 😭 | Fan Interviews

    Manchester United drop more points as the Carrick debate heats up, Bruno Fernandes divides opinion, and questions grow over United’s urgency, mentality and recruitment. Meanwhile, Brighton stun Arsenal with a tactical masterclass, raising questions about Saka’s form and Arsenal’s attacking depth. Plus, a Spurs fan explains why £400M and De Zerbi-ball might just need a little patience. Premier League chaos before the international break. Timestamps 00:00 — Man United drop points: win, loss or just frustrating? 01:00 — United’s final-third problems & lack of urgency 02:00 — Is United’s biggest problem actually the personnel? 03:00 — Carrick IN or Carrick OUT? 04:00 — Can Manchester United really finish Top 4? 05:00 — Bruno Fernandes: the problem AND the solution? 06:40 — Arsenal vs Brighton: what went wrong? 08:00 — How Brighton tactically exposed Arsenal 09:00 — Should Arteta have changed the midfield? 10:30 — Arsenal’s attack wastes its big moments 12:00 — Did Arsenal make a mistake selling Martinelli & Trossard? 14:00 — Does Arsenal lack a true 1v1 difference-maker? 16:00 — What’s going on with Bukayo Saka? 17:30 — Does Arsenal need a marquee January signing? 19:00 — Arsenal’s transfer strategy & the “big club aura” debate 20:00 — Spurs’ £400M rebuild: trust the process? 21:00 — How long should Spurs give De Zerbi-ball? 23:00 — What should Spurs realistically achieve this season? 24:00 — Man United vs Spurs: the real test 25:40 — Breaking down United’s own goal vs Fulham 28:00 — Can United keep building around Bruno Fernandes? 29:00 — What United are missing from the Pogba-Bruno era 31:00 — Why United’s attack looks so predictable 32:00 — Spurs or United: who looks better right now? 33:00 — Do Man United players lack hunger? 34:00 — Where did the “fight for the badge” go? 35:00 — How Carrick can fix Manchester United 36:00 — January transfer needs & season expectations

    United Are STARVING, Arsenal Get Humbled & Spurs Fans Still Believe 😭 | Fan Interviews

  5. Sep 18

    Alonso? I’ve Seen Enough.

    Chelsea’s honeymoon is officially looking shaky. After a frustrating defeat to Brentford, Akan unloads on Alonso’s tactics, substitutions and in-game management — questioning whether individual brilliance has been covering up much bigger problems all season. From the Quenda vs Estevão decision to Brentford’s second-half tactical adjustments, the boys break down where Chelsea lost control and why patience with Alonso is already wearing dangerously thin. Timestamps 00:00 — What went wrong for Chelsea? 00:44 — Warning signs in Alonso’s starting XI 01:20 — Brentford change the game after halftime 02:05 — Is Alonso getting exposed? 02:47 — Chelsea’s attack stops clicking 03:39 — Why doesn’t Alonso trust Estevão? 04:07 — “I’ve seen enough” — Akan loses patience 05:00 — Individual brilliance masking tactical problems? 05:50 — Chelsea “escaped” earlier results 06:22 — The Alonso rant goes nuclear 😂 07:00 — Outcoached by Brentford’s manager 08:03 — The Estevão debate continues 08:51 — Worst possible defeat before the international break 09:23 — It’s not losing — it’s how Chelsea lost 10:12 — Breaking down the three-at-the-back problem 11:10 — Alonso’s in-game decisions under fire 11:42 — “You gotta go, bro!” 😭

    Alonso? I’ve Seen Enough.

  6. Sep 18

    Quadratic Predictions: Arsenal Flex, United Stress & Madrid Derby Madness

    The Five Aside boys are back with another round of fearless predictions—and apparently Q’s government name is now Quadratic. 😭 We break down Brentford vs Chelsea, Brighton vs Arsenal, City vs Sunderland, Spurs vs Villa, Fulham vs Man United, Bournemouth vs Liverpool, Barcelona’s latest five-goal agenda, and the Madrid Derby. Expect questionable scorelines, Arsenal confidence, United slander, Barcelona propaganda, FPL Haaland doubts, and a potential Five Aside watch party. Who’s cooking this weekend, and whose prediction is getting clipped for all the wrong reasons? Timestamps 00:00 — Welcome to Five Aside + the birth of “Quadratic” 01:40 — Brentford vs Chelsea: upset incoming? 03:35 — Brighton vs Arsenal: champions ready to flex 06:35 — Man City vs Sunderland + Haaland/FPL doubts 08:40 — Spurs vs Aston Villa: battle of the disappointments 10:20 — Fulham vs Man United: the United entertainment tour 12:40 — Bournemouth vs Liverpool + storyline predictions 14:55 — Sevilla vs Barcelona: the five-goal agenda 16:35 — Atlético Madrid vs Real Madrid: game of the weekend 18:20 — Madrid Derby watch-party talk + free-drink chaos 19:45 — Five Aside jerseys, socials & outro

    Quadratic Predictions: Arsenal Flex, United Stress & Madrid Derby Madness

  7. Sep 17

    Manchester United Need an Exorcism… and Real Madrid Might Be Next

    Manchester United are back in the group chat for all the wrong reasons. 😭 This week on Five Aside, the crew breaks down United’s chaos against Brighton, whether Bruno Fernandes is actually part of the solution or part of the problem, and why the club may need to finally abandon the “United Way.” Elsewhere, Liverpool keep getting results without convincing everyone, Arsenal’s youngsters get their flowers while one striker gets absolutely COOKED, and Real Madrid somehow inspire an actual threat involving kerosene. 🔥 Plus: is VAR fixing football or just giving us HD mistakes? And has the Premier League officially outgrown the Carabao Cup? Football analysis, agendas, slander and absolutely no emotional stability. Just another episode of Five Aside. ⚽️ Timestamps 00:00 — Cold Open: The agendas begin immediately 01:46 — Welcome to Five Aside 03:14 — Liverpool vs Spurs: Does playing well matter if you lose? 06:57 — What exactly is wrong with Liverpool? 10:12 — The Liverpool lineup debate gets spicy 11:33 — Arsenal vs Ipswich 12:08 — Arsenal’s youngsters are DIFFERENT 13:52 — Madueke gets his flowers 15:44 — Arsenal’s striker problem 17:36 — “Take the No. 14 off his back” 😭 19:54 — Manchester United vs Brighton 20:49 — United actually looked good… for a minute 23:07 — Shea Lacey deserves more minutes 23:20 — The Bruno Fernandes debate begins 24:15 — What is actually wrong with Manchester United? 25:03 — Why the “United Way” needs to die 27:38 — David accidentally delivers a TED Talk 28:08 — Can United ever move on from Bruno? 31:22 — Real Madrid enter the firing line 33:56 — “Real Madrid are lucky they don’t play in the Premier League” 35:00 — “THIS CLUB IS GOING TO BURN” 🔥 47:00 — VAR: What is even the point anymore? 53:47 — Bad decisions, agendas & football common sense 56:57 — Should referees actually face consequences? 58:00 — The VAR accountability debate continues 1:04:55 — Has the Premier League outgrown the Carabao Cup? 1:06:17 — Chelsea catch a completely unnecessary stray 1:07:08 — Five Aside announcements, jerseys & FPL banter

    Manchester United Need an Exorcism… and Real Madrid Might Be Next

  8. Sep 11

    MAN UTD TO SHOCK CITY?! 😳 | Our Premier League Predictions Get HEATED

    The Manchester Derby is here, and the Five Aside crew are already choosing violence. 😂 Can Manchester United survive City after a Thursday-night European game? Will Arsenal handle a physical trip to Sunderland? Can Liverpool’s shaky defence survive Fulham? And have Spurs become a team that simply tries hard and loses anyway? We go game-by-game with predictions for Manchester United vs Manchester City, Sunderland vs Arsenal, Liverpool vs Fulham, Tottenham vs Everton, Chelsea vs Hull City and Bournemouth vs Brentford, plus quick trips to Spain for Real Madrid vs Rayo Vallecano and Levante vs Barcelona. Expect questionable scorelines, Arsenal propaganda, United optimism, Spurs slander, Chelsea hate-watching and the usual Five Aside chaos. Drop your predictions in the comments — and tell us which one of ours is going to age horribly. 👀⚽ Timestamps 00:00 — Welcome to Five Aside + immediate Arsenal/United banter 00:44 — Manchester Derby preview: Man United vs Man City 01:15 — Arsenal fans supporting United?! 02:08 — If City win, make it 4–0 😂 03:00 — Can United handle Thursday–Sunday football? 04:35 — Man United squad depth & derby predictions 05:21 — Sunderland vs Arsenal 06:15 — Are people disrespecting Arsenal? 07:00 — Arsenal, set pieces & last season debate 08:00 — Can Sunderland make it physical? 08:48 — Sunderland vs Arsenal score predictions 09:05 — Liverpool vs Fulham 10:05 — Could Fulham actually get something at Anfield? 10:25 — Tottenham vs Everton 11:00 — Spurs problems + Marmoush debate 12:00 — “They’re a bad team that tries” 😭 12:40 — Everton upset predictions 13:05 — Real Madrid vs Rayo Vallecano 13:35 — Levante vs Barcelona 14:05 — Chelsea vs Hull City 14:40 — Are we getting another Chelsea disaster? 15:20 — Why Chelsea should respond 15:48 — Bournemouth vs Brentford 16:30 — Brentford are cooking 16:52 — Manchester Derby watch party + outro 17:35 — Bonus Ipswich slander & final United thoughts

    MAN UTD TO SHOCK CITY?! 😳 | Our Premier League Predictions Get HEATED
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Ratings & Reviews

5
out of 5
6 Ratings

About

This is the Five-a-side pod, essentially a futbol podcast although once in a while we will delve into other topics such as lifestyle, social/political issues, history etc

Information

  • Creator
    Five-aside
  • Years Active
    2022 - 2026
  • Episodes
    148
  • Rating
    Explicit
  • Copyright
    © Chukwudalu Fab-Ukozor 2022
  • Show Website
    Five Aside