Five Aside

Five-aside
  • 5.0 (2)
  • Soccer
  • Updated Weekly

This is the Five-a-side pod, essentially a futbol podcast although once in a while we will delve into other topics such as lifestyle, social/political issues, history etc

  1. 16h ago

    Money Can’t Buy Spurs Happiness 💸😭 | AK & Dalu’s EPL Takes — Gameweek 2

    AK & Dalu are back with the Five Aside EPL Takes, and Gameweek 2 brought goals, chaos and plenty of ammunition for the agenda. They break down Man City’s latest statement performance and the excitement around Cherki, Liverpool dropping points again against Nottingham Forest, and Tottenham’s rough start continuing despite spending big. Chelsea and Brighton serve up a seven-goal thriller, Cole Palmer reminds everyone what a fully fit version of him can do, and Bruno Fernandes leads Manchester United’s five-goal demolition job. Plus: FPL pain, tactical debates, transfer talk, Spurs slander, and AK & Dalu hand out their Player, Underrated Player and Team of the Week. Timestamps 00:00 — Intro: “All I do is win!” & Gameweek 2 chaos 02:43 — Man City & the Cherki hype train 05:03 — City’s spending & transfer talk 06:18 — Why Cherki is bringing the fun back 07:42 — Liverpool held 2–2 by Nottingham Forest 09:06 — Should Liverpool fans be worried? 11:02 — Liverpool’s intensity, Gakpo & squad questions 13:52 — Tottenham: money can’t buy happiness 😭 14:30 — Newcastle expose Spurs 16:24 — Newcastle’s grit gets its flowers 17:59 — Chelsea 4–3 Brighton: absolute cinema 20:19 — Chelsea’s counterattack & Brighton’s threat 21:00 — Cole Palmer is BACK 23:28 — What’s changed tactically for Palmer? 25:24 — What actually makes a natural striker? 27:52 — João Pedro delivers again 28:28 — Can Chelsea genuinely compete for the title? 29:45 — Manchester United 5–2 Ipswich 30:31 — Ipswich chose bravery…and paid for it 32:34 — Bruno Fernandes masterclass 34:50 — Five Aside Fantasy League prizes 35:59 — Arsenal vs Aston Villa predictions 37:10 — Player of the Week debate 38:21 — Cherki, Bruno & Mccatee get their flowers 38:43 — Team of the Week 39:12 — Outro

    Money Can’t Buy Spurs Happiness 💸😭 | AK & Dalu’s EPL Takes — Gameweek 2

  2. 6d ago

    Three Point Lane! Chelsea Win, Palmer’s Back & London Is Blue

    Chelsea start with three points — and AK & Inii are already feeling dangerous. The lads break down a hard-fought London derby win, the early goal, Cole Palmer finding his rhythm, Romeo Lavia’s encouraging display, the midfield control issues without the preferred pairing, and why Robert Sánchez remains a major concern. Plus: Pedro’s 20-goal challenge, “JP Morgan”, new-signing first impressions, and why everyone might want to keep sleeping on Chelsea. Timestamps 00:00 – Chelsea fans can finally smile again 01:24 – Lineup reaction & pre-match panic 02:03 – Why Chelsea lose this game last season 03:02 – Lavia, Reece James & the makeshift midfield 04:18 – Is Cole Palmer finding his rhythm again? 05:16 – Sánchez has GOT to go?! 06:56 – Inii responds: three points are three points 07:26 – Lineup concerns & the lightning-fast opener 08:51 – The 20-goal challenge & attacking chemistry 09:32 – Why Fulham away is always a nightmare 10:45 – Rivals struggling & the value of three points 11:13 – Chelsea’s biggest problem: midfield control 12:14 – Why it’s too early to hit the panic button 13:09 – “The pressure is on Arsenal!” 13:38 – Standout players & debut performances 14:19 – Palmer combinations & “JP Morgan” 😂 14:38 – $200 bet won: stop sleeping on Chelsea 15:07 – Title talk?! Final thoughts & Up The Chels

    Three Point Lane! Chelsea Win, Palmer’s Back & London Is Blue

  3. Aug 24

    WE ARE SO BACK… SOME TEAMS AREN’T 😂 | AK & Dalu’s EPL Takes

    The Premier League is BACK — and some clubs clearly missed the memo. 😂 AK and Dalu break down the opening weekend, from Arsenal looking like the most complete squad in the league to Tottenham proving that money can’t buy everything. We get into City’s resilience, Brighton doing Brighton things, Manchester United’s worrying start under Carrick, and why fitness and mentality are already separating teams. Plus: #FreeMartinelli, Myles Lewis-Skelly hype, Sangaré’s impressive showing, some outrageous early-season predictions, and enough hot takes to get us cancelled before Matchweek 2. New season. Same Five Aside chaos. ⚽🔥 Timestamps 00:00 — New season, new studio & the Premier League is BACK 02:30 — Arsenal start strong: is this finally their year? 03:20 — Saliba, Lewis-Skelly & Arsenal’s new-look squad 05:00 — “The most complete squad in the league” 06:15 — Tottenham: money can’t buy everything 😂 07:00 — Spurs spending gets VERY suspicious 👀 07:40 — Why preseason fitness is already showing 08:00 — How far can Tottenham actually go? 09:15 — Brighton cook Aston Villa 10:00 — Brighton: Chelsea’s “academy away” 😂 11:30 — Man City survive Bournemouth 12:00 — Haaland means business again 13:00 — Can City challenge for the title? 14:30 — The Maresca slander begins 😭 16:00 — Manchester United: we need to talk 16:45 — The Bruno Fernandes problem 17:40 — Wild Top 4 prediction: Crystal Palace?! 19:00 — Why United struggle when they have to dominate 20:30 — Is Carrick really the man for Manchester United? 22:15 — #FreeMartinelli: what is Arsenal doing? 24:00 — Has Arsenal outgrown Martinelli? 25:30 — Player of the weekend: Sangaré 26:10 — Teams to watch: Brentford & Brighton 27:00 — Final takes & outro

    WE ARE SO BACK… SOME TEAMS AREN’T 😂 | AK & Dalu’s EPL Takes

  4. Aug 23

    21 Assists & No Control: Bruno Mars United Again

    Manchester United are back… and so is the pain. 😭 After another frustrating performance, the Five Aside crew breaks down why United still struggle to create against teams sitting deep, whether Michael Carrick deserves patience, and why the club’s problems go far beyond the manager. Then comes the main event: Bruno Fernandes discourse. Is United’s reliance on Bruno’s goals and assists actually holding the team back? The crew debates his lack of control, the Ødegaard comparison, Tielemans’ struggles, and whether the Messi-Ronaldo era has completely cooked the way fans judge footballers. Plus: United’s ownership problem, the Amorim decision, Carrick Out shouts already, and why rebuilding properly might mean accepting some serious suffering first. Timestamps 00:00 — The Manchester United hate-watch begins 00:55 — Why United dominate possession but create nothing 01:30 — Is Bruno only elite in transition? 02:15 — Does United have to build everything around Bruno? 03:00 — Carrick, the owners & United’s endless cycle 05:30 — David joins: United still can’t defend crosses 06:10 — Carrick’s questionable lineup decisions 06:45 — Tielemans and United’s midfield system 07:25 — United’s midfield lacks physicality 08:05 — Is it already time for “Carrick Out”? 08:30 — Why United might need to be bad before getting good 09:20 — United fans, patience & chasing instant results 10:00 — Did United make a huge mistake sacking Amorim? 10:35 — Does United need to move on from Bruno Fernandes? 11:00 — Bruno as United’s Aubameyang 11:45 — The biggest problem with Bruno’s game 12:20 — Are goals & assists ruining football analysis? 13:30 — The Ronaldo/Juventus comparison 14:20 — Did Messi & Ronaldo break our expectations? 15:05 — Modern Ballon d’Or debates beyond G/A 15:35 — Tielemans, Palhinha & United’s new midfield 16:15 — Ødegaard vs Bruno: control vs chaos 17:00 — Why Carrick deserves a genuine chance 18:00 — Final thoughts & Five Aside sign-off

    21 Assists & No Control: Bruno Mars United Again

  5. Aug 21

    Game Week Won Already? 😂 EPL Predictions, Upsets & 3-Point Audacity

    The Premier League is BACK, which means the Five Aside prediction table is officially open — and the agendas have started immediately. 😂 The boys predict EPL Game Week 1, with 1 point for the correct result and 3 points for the exact score. Arsenal get plenty of love against Coventry, United’s new firepower gets backed against Hull, Spurs are tipped to start flying — while some absolutely shameless upset predictions enter the chat. Then it’s Newcastle vs Liverpool, Chelsea’s Monday-night trip to Fulham, City vs Bournemouth and more. Plus, we introduce the Five Aside FPL league, tease the upcoming jersey/merch drop and lay down predictions that will either look genius or absolutely horrific by Monday. Screenshot the receipts. We’re keeping score all season. ⚽😂 Timestamps 00:00 — Cold Open: Chelsea 1-1?! 00:17 — Welcome to Five Aside: Prediction competition rules 00:55 — Arsenal vs Coventry predictions 01:35 — Hull City vs Manchester United 02:08 — Everton vs Crystal Palace 02:40 — Brentford vs Tottenham 03:10 — Dortmund vs Bayern predictions 03:35 — Brighton vs Aston Villa 04:35 — Newcastle vs Liverpool 05:35 — Fulham vs Chelsea: Monday FC 😂 06:35 — Manchester City vs Bournemouth 07:20 — Five Aside FPL league announcement 07:40 — Five Aside merch & watch-along tease 08:00 — Football is BACK!

    Game Week Won Already? 😂 EPL Predictions, Upsets & 3-Point Audacity

  6. Aug 20

    2026/2027 Season Preview- Predictions, Pings & Pure Madness

    The boys are finally back together — and the new season hasn’t even properly kicked off before the agendas start flying. 😂 We lock in our 2026/27 Premier League predictions, debate whether Arsenal can defend their crown, hear the Chelsea title propaganda, rank the best transfer windows, and break down Arsenal and Manchester United’s latest moves. Then everything goes completely left: Is Joao Pedro really an R9 regen? Can he break Chelsea’s infamous No. 9 curse? And somehow that turns into an all-out Joao Pedro vs Gabriel Jesus war. Plus: Baleba to United, Arsenal building the Avengers of Premier League defences, Spurs’ transfer business, bold season expectations and plenty of takes that will absolutely come back to haunt us. New season. Same Five Aside chaos. ⚽🔥 Timestamps 0:00 Intro / banter 1:01 Premier League predictions 7:18 Best transfer window debate 18:41 Joao Pedro / Ronaldo "regen" debate 28:29 Chelsea's number 9 curse 34:35 Gabriel Jesus vs Joao Pedro argument 41:34 Arsenal defense (Konsa signing) 48:16 Man United's Baleba signing 66:37 Season expectations (per team) 70:32 Final thoughts / sign-off

    2026/2027 Season Preview- Predictions, Pings & Pure Madness

  7. Aug 17

    Gunner Be a Long Season! Arsenal Flex, Chelsea Dream & City Catch Strays

    The Premier League is almost back, and the agendas are already in mid-season form. Arsenal celebrate another statement performance over Man City, while AK explains why Chelsea’s once-a-week schedule could turn them into genuine title contenders. Dalu and AK put the bias on the table and make their Premier League predictions, debate whether Arsenal are actually dominant enough to retain the crown, assess Chelsea’s rebuild, question City and United, and take the prediction tour across Europe. Expect bold calls, questionable logic and enough receipts to ruin friendships by May. Timestamps 0:00 – Intro & 5ASIDE theme song 0:21 – Arsenal 3-0 Man City Community Shield recap 5:09 – Skelly, Ødegaard, Tzolis standout performances 10:14 – Will Chelsea actually win the Premier League? 12:13 – Premier League title predictions (top four & more) 33:34 – Top scorer predictions & Osimhen-to-Arsenal talk 39:42 – La Liga predictions 46:20 – Serie A predictions 46:50 – Can this Real Madrid team match Mourinho's 2011-12 side? 53:26 – Should Chelsea sell Enzo Fernández to Man City? 56:18 – Separating the man from the art (Enzo debate continues) 65:26 – Joao Pedro vs. Ronaldo de Lima (R9) hot take 66:03 – Outro & sign-off

    Gunner Be a Long Season! Arsenal Flex, Chelsea Dream & City Catch Strays

  8. Aug 13

    Trebles, Tactics & Terrorball: Is Luis Enrique Already in the GOAT Debate?

    The boys are back and the football banter is already in midseason form. Luis Enrique wants more Champions Leagues, but has he done enough to sit with Pep, Mourinho, Fergie and Ancelotti? Roberto Martinez catches another round of fraud-watch allegations, Xavi takes on the Netherlands job, and the lads make some ruthless Start, Bench or Drop calls featuring Henry, Ronaldinho, Hazard, Iniesta, KDB, Modrić, Van Dijk, Ramos and John Terry. Plus: Chelsea and Arsenal transfer talk, the Enzo price tag, Kelly’s future, Pedro Neto links, Madueke slander and the universal truth that Arsenal will get bantered no matter what they do. Proper Five Aside chaos. Timestamps 00:00 — Welcome Back + Is Preseason Football Dead? 01:00 — Super Cup Apathy & Football Fatigue 03:00 — Garnacho’s Awkward Aura Farming 04:40 — Luis Enrique Wants a Champions League Three-Peat 06:00 — Is Luis Enrique Already an All-Time Great Manager? 09:40 — Roberto Martinez: Football’s King of Failing Upwards? 12:00 — Did Martinez Waste Belgium’s Golden Generation? 13:30 — Brazil, Belgium & World Cup Underachievement 15:00 — Are Roberto Martinez’s Stats Actually Misleading? 16:30 — Xavi Takes Over the Netherlands 18:30 — Can Xavi Actually Coach at the Elite Level? 21:00 — Start, Bench or Drop: Henry, Ronaldinho & Hazard 22:45 — Start, Bench or Drop: Iniesta, KDB & Modrić 25:00 — Start, Bench or Drop: John Terry, Ramos & Van Dijk 26:30 — Is Sergio Ramos Overrated Defensively? 28:40 — Kelly to Chelsea? Arsenal Transfer Talk 30:30 — Enzo to Man City for £120M?! 31:40 — Balogun, Pedro Neto & Arsenal Shopping at Chelsea Again 32:45 — Madueke Slander & Preseason Overreactions 34:15 — Why Arsenal Will ALWAYS Get Bantered 35:00 — Outro

    Trebles, Tactics & Terrorball: Is Luis Enrique Already in the GOAT Debate?
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Ratings & Reviews

5
out of 5
2 Ratings

About

This is the Five-a-side pod, essentially a futbol podcast although once in a while we will delve into other topics such as lifestyle, social/political issues, history etc

Information

  • Creator
    Five-aside
  • Years Active
    2022 - 2026
  • Episodes
    136
  • Rating
    Explicit
  • Copyright
    © Chukwudalu Fab-Ukozor 2022
  • Show Website
    Five Aside

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