Dates, Mates and Babies with the Vallottons

Jason and Lauren Vallotton
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We’re the Vallottons, and we’re passionate about people! Every human was created for fulfilling connections in relationship and family, but it’s not always what comes easiest! We know this because of our wide range of personal experiences as well as years of working with people. So we’re going to crack open topics like dating, marriage, family and parenting to encourage, entertain and equip you for a deeply fulfilling life of relational health.  Support us at on Patreon at patreon.com/datesmatesbabies 

  1. 5H AGO

    141. When Life In Your 30's Doesn't Go As Planned

    In this deeply honest episode, Jason and Lauren Vallotton talk about the quiet disorientation that can surface in your 30s — especially when life doesn’t look the way you thought it would. They open with a vulnerable admission: you can have the life you once prayed for… and still feel unsettled inside it. Lauren shares how her 30s revealed something unexpected — it wasn’t that she needed a better plan. She needed a different version of herself. Together, they explore how what feels like breakdown is often actually recalibration. This episode is for the woman who has checked the boxes, carried responsibility well, made thoughtful decisions… and still feels like something doesn’t quite fit. You are not failing. You are becoming. IN THIS EPISODE, THEY DISCUSS: The Disorientation No One Prepared You For | “This isn’t a breakdown. It’s a recalibration.”  Jason and Lauren unpack the “picket fence” script many of us subconsciously follow — the belief that if we do X, life will look like Y. What happens when you do the right things… and it still doesn’t feel the way you expected? They talk about why this tension often surfaces in your 30s — when decisions carry weight, comparison gets louder, and responsibility leaves less room for fantasy. The Three Griefs Nobody Names | “Sometimes the pain isn’t your life… it’s the funeral of the life you expected.” Lauren gives language to three quiet griefs many women carry: The grief of the timeline — the life you thought would have happened by nowThe grief of identity — when the version of you that worked in your 20s doesn’t work anymoreThe grief of outcomes — when you did the “right things” and life still got hardTogether, they gently ask the question many women haven’t stopped long enough to consider: What are you grieving that you’ve been calling “just stress”? This conversation is tender, grounding, and full of hope. Because sometimes what feels like disorientation isn’t failure — it’s reorientation. And letting go of the dream life might be the very thing that makes room for a truer one. If this episode resonates, share it with a friend who’s navigating her own season of becoming. Patreon If you've enjoyed this podcast, would you consider financially supporting the show? Every donation, big and small, helps the Vallottons continue to prioritize making this content for you. Click this link to support! Thank you! For information on the Marriage Intensive and other resources, go to jasonandlaurenvallotton.com ! Connect with Lauren: Instagram Facebook Connect with Jason: Jay’s Instagram Jay’s Facebook BraveCo Instagram www.braveco.org

    23 min

  2. FEB 11

    140. God's Plan for Forming Men

    This episode is a live recording of Jason Vallotton’s message at Bethel Church on November 30, 2025—a raw, clarifying teaching on God’s Plan for Forming Men, shared in the context of the upcoming BraveCo Rite of Passage Event in Jacksonville February 28, 2026. God has a blueprint for forming men who carry strength, humility, and responsibility into their homes, marriages, and work. That blueprint is both simple and demanding—formed, filled, and finished—and it unfolds through the stages of calling, testing, equipping, and commissioning. In this message, Jason unpacks why being made from dust matters, why being filled with the Spirit is non-negotiable, and why testing isn’t punishment but refinement. Marriage becomes a mirror. Work becomes a training ground. Feedback becomes the tool that confronts ego head-on. Equipping looks like delayed gratification—showing up when you don’t feel like it, choosing peace over pride, and learning to carry responsibility without collapsing under it. Commissioning comes when failure is no longer hidden, but redeemed into testimony that helps other men walk free. The turning point is mentorship. Jesus didn’t say, “Follow me and figure it out.” He said, “Follow me, and I will make you.” Jason brings this home through the powerful rite-of-passage story of Caleb, a young man born with club feet who completed a brutal course because a tribe refused to let him walk alone. This is the heart behind BraveCo: men formed in community, forged through challenge, and released with clarity and purpose. This episode is a call to movement—not theory. You’ll hear a practical vision for how men can get connected, equipped, challenged, and sent, and why identity is forged best in brotherhood. Great men aren’t born. They’re built—together. Next Steps Subscribe so you don’t miss future conversationsShare this episode with a man who needs brotherhoodLeave a review to help others find the podcastAnd we’d love to hear from you: Where are you in the journey—calling, testing, equipping, or commissioning? Patreon If you've enjoyed this podcast, would you consider financially supporting the show? Every donation, big and small, helps the Vallottons continue to prioritize making this content for you. Click this link to support! Thank you! For information on the Marriage Intensive and other resources, go to jasonandlaurenvallotton.com ! Connect with Lauren: Instagram Facebook Connect with Jason: Jay’s Instagram Jay’s Facebook BraveCo Instagram www.braveco.org

    46 min

  3. JAN 14

    139. How to Set Yourselves Up for 2026: Positioning Yourself to Win

    In this episode, Jason and Lauren Vallotton invite listeners into a practical and intentional conversation about preparing for the year ahead. As 2026 approaches, they challenge couples and families to move beyond vague hopes and instead position themselves to win through clarity, reflection, and aligned action. This episode is about slowing down long enough to ask the right questions—and taking ownership of what truly matters. In This Episode:   • Why having a clear plan is essential for long-term success   • How to assess whether you—and your family—are actually set up for success   • The importance of defining a target before trying to hit it   • Why reflection on the past year is a necessary step before planning the next one   • How intentional, dedicated time with a spouse creates alignment and shared vision   • Why time is the greatest investment families make—and the importance of knowing where it’s going   • The value of shared calendars and shared expectations   • How identifying the one thing to do this week can create meaningful momentum Key Questions Jason and Lauren Encourage Listeners to Ask:   • Are we living reactively, or are we intentionally aiming at something?   • Where is most of our time going—and does that reflect our priorities?   • What kind of family culture are we building right now?   • What is the one practical step that can be taken this week to move forward? Episode Takeaway:   Jason and Lauren believe that success doesn’t happen accidentally—it’s the result of clarity, alignment, and intentional investment. This episode helps listeners reflect on where they’ve been, assess where they are, and take a meaningful step toward building a healthier, more connected 2026. Patreon If you've enjoyed this podcast, would you consider financially supporting the show? Every donation, big and small, helps the Vallottons continue to prioritize making this content for you. Click this link to support! Thank you! For information on the Marriage Intensive and other resources, go to jasonandlaurenvallotton.com ! Connect with Lauren: Instagram Facebook Connect with Jason: Jay’s Instagram Jay’s Facebook BraveCo Instagram www.braveco.org

    22 min

  4. JAN 7

    138. 2025 Year End Podcast Update: Holiday Break, Big Dreams, New Year Plans

    As 2025 comes to a close, Jay and Lauren sit down to reflect on a full and meaningful year—both personally and professionally. From holiday time with family, to celebrating their daughter’s engagement, to the launch of Lauren’s book, and the powerful impact of the BraveCo Rite of Passage event in Florida, this episode is an honest year-end update. They also share what listeners can expect from the podcast in the new year—how their focus is evolving, what they’re excited to explore, and the kinds of conversations they feel most called to lead in the season ahead. Patreon If you've enjoyed this podcast, would you consider financially supporting the show? Every donation, big and small, helps the Vallottons continue to prioritize making this content for you. Click this link to support! Thank you! For information on the Marriage Intensive and other resources, go to jasonandlaurenvallotton.com ! Connect with Lauren: Instagram Facebook Connect with Jason: Jay’s Instagram Jay’s Facebook BraveCo Instagram www.braveco.org

    24 min

  5. 12/03/2025

    137. Raising Sons into Men: The “Cop” Phase & Parenting Little Kids with Boundaries and Protrction

    This week’s episode is taken from the BraveCo podcast as the Vallotton’s  believe the message is SO important for the Dates, Mates, & Babies audience too! From Jason on the BraveCo Podcast: THE BRAVECO RITE OF PASSAGE: https://www.braveco.org/riteofpassage As a pastor, counselor, and dad, I have watched so many young men stumble their way into manhood without a clear pathway. In this episode of the Brave Co Podcast, I break down the stages our sons move through and what it looks like to call them out of boyhood and into manhood with intention. From the “cop” phase with little kids, to mentoring teens, to coaching young men who are 18, 19, and 20 and still living at home, I share real stories from my own life and conversations I have with fathers all the time. I talk about how to shift from controlling your son’s every move to training him to make wise decisions, carry real responsibility, and discover his God-given purpose. You will hear how my dad prepared me for puberty, identity, and independence, why I had to start fighting my own battles, and how those milestones shaped me. Then I walk you through what to do when your son wants to stay at home as an adult, how to set clear expectations, and how to stop enabling him so he can grow into a man who produces more than he consumes. If you are a dad of a teenage or young adult son, this conversation will give you language, courage, and a practical roadmap. I also share why we created the BraveCo Rite of Passage, a 30-hour weekend where fathers and sons encounter God together, push their limits, and mark the moment a boy is called into manhood. Join us February 28 – March 1, 2026 in Jacksonville, Florida. Get all the details and grab your spot at braveco.org, and do not forget to subscribe, share this episode with another dad, and drop a comment with your biggest takeaway. Patreon If you've enjoyed this podcast, would you consider financially supporting the show? Every donation, big and small, helps the Vallottons continue to prioritize making this content for you. Click this link to support! Thank you! For information on the Marriage Intensive and other resources, go to jasonandlaurenvallotton.com ! Connect with Lauren: Instagram Facebook Connect with Jason: Jay’s Instagram Jay’s Facebook BraveCo Instagram www.braveco.org

    40 min

  6. 11/13/2025

    136. Q&A (Long-Distance Dating, Sexual Disconnection, Co-Parenting)

    In this Q&A episode, Lauren and Jason tackle four raw and relatable listener questions that hit at the heart of modern relationships — from rebuilding trust to navigating intimacy, distance, and co-parenting. In this episode, they discuss: 💔 When words cut deep: A wife is struggling to heal after learning her husband once fantasized about other women. Though he’s showing empathy and doing the work, she can’t shake the fear of abandonment. Lauren and Jay unpack how to rebuild safety after emotional betrayal and what healing looks like when your partner’s change feels real — but your heart still hurts. 🌍 Long-distance love: What does it take to make a relationship thrive when you’re miles apart? The Vallottons share their best tips for staying connected across distance — from setting rhythms of communication to keeping emotional intimacy alive (even when FaceTime freezes mid-sentence). 🔥 When sex becomes a struggle: He thinks more sex will fix the problem; she feels pressured and disconnected. Lauren and Jason explore how couples can move from obligation to connection, and why true intimacy starts with emotional safety, not frequency. 👩‍👦 Co-parenting with disrespect: A single mom is raising her son alongside a dad who doesn’t treat her with respect. She’s worried about what her son is learning from their dynamic. The Vallottons discuss how to model dignity, set boundaries, and protect your child’s sense of honor — even when the other parent won’t play fair. Patreon If you've enjoyed this podcast, would you consider financially supporting the show? Every donation, big and small, helps the Vallottons continue to prioritize making this content for you. Click this link to support! Thank you! For information on the Marriage Intensive and other resources, go to jasonandlaurenvallotton.com ! Connect with Lauren: Instagram Facebook Connect with Jason: Jay’s Instagram Jay’s Facebook BraveCo Instagram www.braveco.org

    30 min

  7. 10/30/2025

    135. The Three C’s of Leading Your Family Well

    In this episode, Lauren and Jason sit down to talk about what it really looks like to lead your family well while carrying leadership responsibilities in ministry, business, and life. Whether you’re parenting toddlers or launching teens, this conversation will help you build a home that’s healthy, connected, and grounded in vision. They share what they learned from blending their family and why the long game of parenting matters so much. Together, the Vallottons unpack the Three C’s that have shaped their own family: 1️⃣ Culture — Build belonging through identity. Every family has a culture. Are you building yours on purpose? Learn how to establish a shared language that gives your kids identity and belonging.  2️⃣ Consistency — Play the long game. Family is formed through repetition, not reaction. Discover how small, faithful rhythms create stability and character over time — even when you can’t see the fruit yet. 3️⃣ Capacity — Lead from health, not hustle. Your home doesn’t need your title; it needs your presence. Jason and Lauren share how they’ve learned to create space for rest, connection, and emotional honesty so their home stays full of life — not burnout. Enjoy! Patreon If you've enjoyed this podcast, would you consider financially supporting the show? Every donation, big and small, helps the Vallottons continue to prioritize making this content for you. Click this link to support! Thank you! For information on the Marriage Intensive and other resources, go to jasonandlaurenvallotton.com ! Connect with Lauren: Instagram Facebook Connect with Jason: Jay’s Instagram Jay’s Facebook BraveCo Instagram www.braveco.org

    26 min

  8. 10/09/2025

    134. Blending Families: Grieving What You Thought It Would Be

    Blending a family isn’t just about making schedules work or learning each other’s habits. It’s about entering into an already-formed culture — one that existed before you. For the stepparent, that often means grieving what you imagined family life would look like, while choosing to restrain yourself from immediately reshaping the environment into “yours.” In this episode, Jason and Lauren Vallotton talk candidly about: Why grief is a normal and healthy part of the step-parenting journeyThe tension between honoring the existing family culture and slowly helping build a new oneThe unspoken expectations that every stepparent carries — and what to do with themWhy building a new “normal” takes years (Ron Deal says seven, and it often feels true!)Encouragement for couples to stay connected in the long process of blendingIf you’re in the thick of a blended family dynamic, you are not crazy and you are not alone. Healing, belonging, and love can grow in the middle of the mess — but it takes time, patience, and a lot of grace. Patreon If you've enjoyed this podcast, would you consider financially supporting the show? Every donation, big and small, helps the Vallottons continue to prioritize making this content for you. Click this link to support! Thank you! For information on the Marriage Intensive and other resources, go to jasonandlaurenvallotton.com ! Connect with Lauren: Instagram Facebook Connect with Jason: Jay’s Instagram Jay’s Facebook BraveCo Instagram www.braveco.org

    29 min
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4.9
out of 5
299 Ratings

About

We’re the Vallottons, and we’re passionate about people! Every human was created for fulfilling connections in relationship and family, but it’s not always what comes easiest! We know this because of our wide range of personal experiences as well as years of working with people. So we’re going to crack open topics like dating, marriage, family and parenting to encourage, entertain and equip you for a deeply fulfilling life of relational health.  Support us at on Patreon at patreon.com/datesmatesbabies 

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