A Stogie for the Road

Shawn Dirksen aka Stogie

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A Stogie for the Road Raw. Real. Redeemed. A Stogie for the Road is a no-fluff podcast for men who’ve been through hell and are ready to rise. Hosted by a man who lost it all and built it back, this show dives into mental health, masculinity, fatherhood, addiction, and finding purpose — one hard conversation at a time. Light up, tune in, and walk the road toward something better.

Aug 23

WASHINGTON STATE ....They Banned the Cigar and Protected the Needle.

Washington State might be the perfect example of what the hell happened to masculinity in America. Because apparently a bunch of grown-ass men sitting in leather chairs, smoking cigars, talking business, fatherhood, motorcycles and life is some kind of f*****g public-health crisis. Washington effectively wiped out the traditional indoor cigar lounge. God forbid ten men get together with a good cigar, bust each other's balls, talk through their problems and build some actual brotherhood. But at the same time, this state embraces harm-reduction programs that distribute clean syringes. Just think about the f*****g symbolism of that. THE CIGAR HAS GOT TO GO — BUT MAKE SURE THE NEEDLE IS CLEAN. And while they were regulating the room, culturally we started doing something else too: We started feminizing the definition of an acceptable man. Be strong — but not too strong. Be confident — but make sure nobody feels intimidated. Lead — but don't be too dominant. Compete — but don't be aggressive. Speak your mind — but soften your tone. And God forbid a bunch of men want a space where they can just be men without constantly translating themselves into something more socially comfortable. Because this isn't really about tobacco. It's about what the cigar lounge represents. The lodge. The clubhouse. The garage. The barbershop. Places where men gathered, mentored younger men, told stories, made connections, challenged each other and belonged to something bigger than themselves. Somewhere along the way, Washington decided every traditionally masculine space needed to be regulated, sanitized, softened or explained away. They didn't just come after the smoke. They came after the f*****g room. And then they started telling the men inside it how they were supposed to act.
Aug 19

YOUR PHONE IS PISSING YOU OFF ON PURPOSE !!!!

Your phone knows exactly what pisses you off—and it keeps feeding it to you. Fighting videos. Rage bait. Men-vs-women b******t. “Signs she’s a narcissist.” “Signs he’s toxic.” Suddenly everybody with Instagram and 15 minutes of free time has a f*****g psychology degree. In this episode of A Stogie for the Road Podcast, we dig into how algorithms learn our fears, anger and insecurities—and then serve them back to us until we start confusing our feed with reality. Maybe everybody isn't toxic. Maybe every relationship isn't abusive. Maybe men and women don't actually hate each other. Maybe your f*****g phone is just really good at pissing you off.
Aug 9

They Never Knew You — They Knew What You Could Do for Them

How many people in your life actually know you—and how many just know what you provide? Your money. Your advice. Your connections. Your ability to fix shit. Your willingness to listen. Your opportunities. Your generosity. Your time. In this episode of A Stogie for the Road, I go after a side of friendship nobody wants to examine: the invisible economy between people. We keep receipts for money, but there's no f*****g accounting system for the years somebody spends absorbing another person's problems, financing their experiences, opening doors, providing professional advice, or becoming their permanent emotional emergency department. And there's an uncomfortable second half to this conversation: users need rescuers. Sometimes being needed feels so much like being loved that capable, generous people unknowingly build an identity around being everybody's fixer. Then they wonder why their lives are filled with people who always need fixing. We get into envy, resentment, why success changes old friendships, why longevity doesn't equal loyalty, and why some people become uncomfortable the moment you grow beyond the role they assigned you. The real test of friendship isn't only who stays when you're struggling. It's who can tolerate you becoming somebody they no longer have leverage over. And maybe the hardest question of all: If you stopped being the counselor, the financier, the fixer, the connection, the rescuer, and the person who always says yes... what relationship would actually be left? Light one up. This one might make you rethink who's sitting at your table.
Aug 2

The Board of Directors : How Outsiders Slowly Take Over Your Relationship

Who really runs your relationship? Is it you and your partner...or the committee sitting behind the scenes? In this episode of A Stogie for the Road, I dive into something almost nobody talks about: how friends, family, coworkers, therapists, social media, and internet "experts" slowly become the unofficial board of directors of your relationship. We break down the difference between concern and manipulation, loyalty and betrayal, boundaries and control, and why dragging your partner's name through the mud might be the very thing destroying the relationship you're trying to save. We'll also tackle the rise of internet psychology, why everyone suddenly thinks they're qualified to diagnose everyone else, how chaotic people become self-appointed life coaches, and why protecting your partner's reputation during conflict says more about your character than how you treat them when everything is going well. If you've ever wondered why so many relationships feel like they're being run by everyone except the two people in them, this episode is for you. Topics include: The "Board of Directors" phenomenonConcern vs. manipulationProtecting your partner's nameBoundaries vs. controlInternet psychology and weaponized labelsWhy chaotic people love giving adviceLoyalty without self-betrayalLearning to trust your own judgment againLight a cigar, pour a drink, and join me for one of the most honest conversations I've had yet.
Jul 18

Do We Miss Yesterday... or Ourselves?

There’s something strange happening. Every day, we tell ourselves we miss "the good old days." We watch nostalgic videos. We share old photos. We talk about how life was simpler. But was it? Or do we miss something else entirely? In this episode of A Stogie for the Road, Shawn takes a funny—and unexpectedly personal—look at nostalgia, Flock cameras, Facebook, growing older, and the quiet realization that maybe we don’t miss the past as much as we miss the version of ourselves who lived there. This isn’t an episode about the 1980s or the 1990s. It’s about time. About memory. About why ordinary moments become priceless only after they're gone. And it asks one question that just might stay with you long after the cigar goes out: Do we miss yesterday... because of what it was... or because of who we were while we were living it?
Jul 9

The Lake Stevens Community Page Is the Greatest Reality Show in America 😂

If you've ever opened the Lake Stevens Community Facebook page, this episode is for you. We're talking fireworks wars, e-bike Karens and Kens, helicopter conspiracy theorists, Ring Camera Randy, Roundabout Ron, pontoon DJs who think the entire lake requested their playlist, and the mysterious "suspicious person" whose biggest crime was... walking down the street. This isn't about calling anyone out—it's about laughing at all of us. Because let's be honest... every one of us has read the comments thinking, "These people are insane..." while scrolling for another twenty minutes. Grab a cigar, buckle up, and let's take a hilarious ride through the greatest reality show in America... The Lake Stevens Community Page. 🔥 Warning: If you've ever complained about fireworks, e-bikes, loud boats, helicopters, or roundabouts... you might accidentally be one of the characters in this episode.
Jul 5

STOP CHASING THE UPGRADE | Why Modern Love Keeps Failing

We've turned relationships into shopping carts. The second things get difficult... We convince ourselves someone better is waiting just one swipe away. We've been sold the lie that happiness is always in the next relationship, the next person, the next thrill. But what if the real tragedy isn't staying too long... It's walking away from someone who was actually willing to fight for you? In this episode, I go all in on the modern obsession with "upgrading" our partners, disposable relationships, dating apps, social media, and the fantasy that there's always someone better around the corner. We talk about why people confuse butterflies with love, why loyalty has become one of the rarest traits in modern society, and why so many people don't realize what they had until it's gone. Because here's the uncomfortable truth... The next person won't magically erase your problems. They'll just introduce you to a whole new set of them. If you think lasting love is about constantly finding someone better, this episode is going to challenge everything you've been told. Sometimes the greatest mistake you'll ever make isn't choosing the wrong person... It's giving up on the right one because real love stopped feeling new. Light up a cigar, buckle up, and let's have the conversation nobody wants to have. A Stogie for the Road Podcast — where accountability beats excuses, commitment still means something, and we say the things everyone's thinking but nobody wants to say.
Jun 21

THEY HATE ME... BUT THEY NEVER MISS AN EPISODE

They watch every clip. They listen to every episode. They know every detail. They can quote things I said six months ago better than I can. And they swear they can't stand me. Welcome to the strange world of modern outrage, where some people spend more time monitoring other people's lives than building their own. In this episode of A Stogie for the Road, Shawn dives headfirst into the bizarre culture of hate-watching, social media obsession, professional critics, and the people who seem to have unlimited time to analyze, investigate, screenshot, and obsess over complete strangers on the internet. What kind of person spends hours listening to somebody they claim to hate? What kind of person follows every post, every video, every comment, and every move while insisting they don't care? At what point does a hater stop being a critic and become your most dedicated fan? This episode is a hilarious, unapologetic, and brutally honest rant about the spectators of life—the people sitting safely in the stands while criticizing the people willing to step onto the field. We break down why successful people don't spend their lives obsessing over strangers, why critics often become accidental promoters, and why some people would rather monitor your progress than confront their own failures, fears, excuses, and missed opportunities. This isn't just about haters. It's about courage. It's about risk. It's about the difference between creating and criticizing. Building and complaining. Living and watching. Most importantly, it's about refusing to let the opinions of people who aren't doing anything stop you from becoming the person you're meant to be. If you've ever been judged for chasing a dream... If you've ever had people laugh at your goals... If you've ever had critics rooting for your downfall... If you've ever been told to sit down, shut up, and stay in your lane... This episode is for you. Because at the end of the day, the people spending their lives watching will never understand the people spending their lives doing. Light a cigar. Pull up a chair. And remember: The people trying to stop the train keep buying tickets.

5

out of 5

2 Ratings

A Stogie for the Road Raw. Real. Redeemed. A Stogie for the Road is a no-fluff podcast for men who’ve been through hell and are ready to rise. Hosted by a man who lost it all and built it back, this show dives into mental health, masculinity, fatherhood, addiction, and finding purpose — one hard conversation at a time. Light up, tune in, and walk the road toward something better.

Creator

Shawn Dirksen aka Stogie
Years Active

2023 - 2026
Episodes

60
Rating

Explicit
Copyright

© A Stogie for the road
Show Website

A Stogie for the Road