Love Is Us: Real Conversations About Love and Change

Karin Calde
  • 5.0 (15)
  • RELATIONSHIPS
  • UPDATED WEEKLY

Love Is Us is a podcast about rebuilding connection where it matters most: with yourself, with your intimate partners, and with the people and communities you care about. Hosted by Karin Calde, PhD, CPC, a former therapist and current relationship coach, the show features thoughtful conversations with experienced practitioners and guides exploring love, attachment, intimacy, and the inner work that supports lasting relationships. Many episodes focus on the unique questions that arise in midlife, when long-standing patterns surface and the desire for deeper authenticity grows stronger. Karin also brings her experience facilitating legal, guided psychedelic work in Oregon into the conversation, offering a grounded, ethical perspective on how expanded states of awareness can support insight, healing, and relational growth when approached with care, integrity, and integration. You'll hear honest, nuanced discussions about long-term partnership, dating, sex, and self-development, with an emphasis on depth, responsibility, and real-world application.

  1. 2D AGO

    When Love is Stable but Desire is Gone, with Xanet Pailet

    In this episode we talk about what happens when long-term couples still care deeply for one another but sex and erotic connection have faded. My guest shares her own experience with a sexless marriage, why intimacy is about far more than sex, and how resentment, trauma, and changing bodies can slowly shut desire down. We explore the role menopause really plays (and when it's not the whole story), why many men stop initiating sex, and why talking honestly about sex is so hard even for couples who have a solid relationship. Xanet describes for us a tool she created to help get couples talking about this sensitive topic. Plus, a lot more.  Xanet Pailet is a nationally recognized Sex and Intimacy Coach, bestselling author of Living an Orgasmic Life and The Sex & Intimacy Repair Kit, and the founder of Passionate Intimacy Retreats, where she has led over 100 couples' intimacy retreats. After leaving a 26-year sexless marriage and a high-powered legal career, Xanet now helps committed couples who feel stuck, disconnected, or in conflict transform their relationships into ones filled with intimacy, safety, passion, and joy. Through private and international group retreats, she shows couples how to create emotional and sexual connection that lasts. If you've ever wondered what it takes to truly reignite your relationship and keep the flame alive, this is a conversation you won't want to miss.   Learn more about Xanet: Website: https://www.passionateintimacyretreats.com YouTube: The Power of Pleasure Instagram: Xanet Pop LinkedIn: Xanet Pailet   Learn more about Karin: Website: https://drcalde.com YouTube: Midlife Magic with Karin Instagram: karincalde.relationships LinkedIn: Karin Calde

    44 min

  2. FEB 3

    Finding Your Way Back to Yourself: Life After Emotional Abuse, with Kristen Crabtree

    In this first episode back from a sabbatical, Karin explores the role of self-connection in healing and growth. She's joined by Kristen Crabtree, who shares her experience of leaving an emotionally abusive relationship and the quiet inner work that helped her find her way out. Together, they talk about learning to slow down enough to listen to yourself, rebuilding self-trust through meditation, and finding joy and meaning after abuse. Kristen reflects on the practices that supported her, including different forms of meditation and the influence of Joe Dispenza, and offers a hopeful reminder: there is a good life to be had on the other side. Kristen Crabtree is an author and Certified Divorce Coach whose work is grounded in lived experience — not theory. She's the creator of Paramour Paradox, a self-recovery ecosystem helping seekers rediscover who they are, and Destination: True You 2.0, where she supports lesbian women leaving psychologically abusive marriages. Through her own journey of self-recovery, Kristen helps others move from invisibility to authenticity — reminding us it's never too late to feel alive again. Learn more about Kristen: Website: Paramour Paradox IG: https://www.instagram.com/paramourparadox Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/paramourparadox   Learn more about Karin: Website: https://drcalde.com Karin's not on Instagram much these days, but she does check her messages periodically: https://www.instagram.com/karincalde.relationships

    38 min

  3. 01/01/2025

    The Second Worst Thing

    In this episode Karin explains the reason why she took a break from publishing podcasts during this past month. She describes the personal health crisis that struck her family but focuses mostly on what she's discovered to be helpful during this time. She also offers some advice on what to do if you have someone in your life who is going through a personal tragedy or is struggling with a life-threatening disease (see episode #15). She closes with a story about replacing judgment with curiosity in the face of life events, even when it seems obvious that that they are good or bad. Karin doesn't know when she'll be back to her regular podcasting schedule, but will publish episodes when she can over the next few months. Thank you for listening!   Learn more about Karin: website: www.drcalde.com Instagram: @theloveandconnectioncoach

    23 min

  4. 11/26/2024

    Friendships in Midlife, with Brooke Ledbetter

    Listen to Karin and Brooke discuss the importance of friendships and how to bring more of them into your life. Friendships - including intimate relationships - fortify our mental health and, consequently, our physical health. When we don't have these relationships, it can have a negative effect on our brain and can become harder to deal with stress and adversity. Hear Brooke talk about how to attract new friendships into your life and why having one deep relationship, such as with a romantic partner, isn't enough. She and Karin also discuss how women in midlife can manage the discomfort that comes up when trying to make new friends at a time when their lives are changing and have more available time.  Developing new friendships isn't easy. Brooke and Karin discuss the importance of patience, intentionality, persistence, and the need to take risks and be vulnerable. And, possibly, most importantly, the need to be a friend to yourself first so you have a healthy, balanced foundation to start from. Brooke Ledbetter is a writer, coffee professional, dog mom, and aspiring plant mom. She enjoys writing about mental health, spirituality, relationships, and above all, hope. After a seismic displacement of her core group of friends, she began to ask the question: is there a better way to do friendship? Through a lot of searching, healing, praying, and research, her debut book, "Closer than a Brother," was born. It is a celebration of friendship and an invitation to grow in being a friend. Its estimated release date is March 6, 2025 and will be available for purchase wherever books are sold. She lives in Lewisville, Texas with her mini aussie Juniper, where she is actively involved in her church and community. When not writing, you can find her at various coffee shops reading, or at home, trying desperately to keep her plants alive. Success rate is currently 50/50. Learn more about Karin: website: www.drcalde.com Instagram: @theloveandconnectioncoach Learn more about Brooke: IG: @brooke.e.ledbetter Follow her on Substack

    43 min

  5. 11/12/2024

    Why Love Isn't Enough, with Matt Marquez

    This heartfelt conversation starts with how Karin and Matt are coping with the results of the election, which occurred two days prior, including how they are managing the difficult emotions and taking care of themselves during challenging times like these. Then, because when we take care of ourselves we are also taking care of our relationships, the heart of the conversation focuses on how to build strong, loving relationships.  Hear Matt and Karin talk about how being in love isn't enough, the importance of understanding ourselves and what we need, the Nonviolent Communication (NVC) framework, how he and his partner overcame some significant life challenges, and how that all informs how Matt helps his coaching clients have strong, healthy relationships. Learn more about Karin: website: www.drcalde.com Instagram: @theloveandconnectioncoach Learn more about Matt: FB: @growingmorejoy IG: @growingmorejoy The Real, Messy Relationship Podcast (Spotify) Freebie: Get Your Partner to Open Up Guide

    42 min

  6. 10/29/2024

    Confident Communication, with Tara Alexander

    Tara and Karin have a lively conversation about how people, especially women and people-pleasers, can learn assertiveness, deal with conflict, set boundaries, and confidently communicate their thoughts and needs so they can live the life they want. Tara talks though the tools she uses to help her clients assert themselves effectively in real time when under stress, including how to identify and regulate their emotions, and practice conflict in a safe, low-risk environment. Hear Tara talk through how she helped a client struggling with burnout learn to say "no" and reclaim their life, and another to overcome the guilt associated with setting those kinds of boundaries. Listen to this episode to help you get on the path of living your life, not the life that was prescribed to you. Tara Alexander, Ph.D, worked as a Licensed Clinical Social Worker for 25 years and a college professor for eight. She is now a certified coach who values curiosity, growth, courage, integrity, social justice and play. When not coaching, she enjoys a number of activities, including martial arts, dance, rock-climbing, and paddleboarding.  Learn more about Tara here: website: https://www.conquerconflict.com/ Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/ConquerConflictCoach/ Learn more about Karin here: website: https://drcalde.com/ Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/theloveandconnectioncoach/

    39 min

  7. 10/15/2024

    Trauma, Somatic Healing, and Your Relationships, with Robyn Smith

    Unaddressed trauma can impact all areas of a person's life, but the impact is felt perhaps most acutely in one's relationships. Today we talk about different kinds of trauma, how it gets stuck in the body, and how it shows up in our relationships. My guest, Robyn Smith, explains how somatic coaching can help and what somatic work is like.    Learn more about Karin: Website: https://drcalde.com Instagram: @theloveandconnectioncoach   Learn more about Robyn: Website: https://consciousthrivingrelationships.com/ YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCprnkDKhwO6Nr1YR5rasnBA/videos Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/robyn.smith.relationshipcoach/ *Join her Rock Your Relationships Facebook Group Here:
https://www.facebook.com/groups/consciousthrivingrelationships *Grab the FREE Ultimate Communication Checklist here:https://consciousthrivingrelationships.com/ultimate-communication-checklist/

    43 min

  8. 10/01/2024

    How the Energy in Your Home Impacts Your Relationships, with Suzanne Roynon

    Do you want more opportunities, love, and wealth in your life? An interiors therapist can help! My guest today uses feng shui to change the energy in your home so that you can make a shift and invite a different energy into your life. Suzanne Roynon is an Interiors Therapy expert and member of the International Feng Shui Guild, based in the UK and working internationally. She will help you look differently at the possessions and clutter you keep around you to understand how they can actively harm your relationship, health, wealth, success, happiness and home life. She shares hints and tips to create a home and office space to love and propel you forward, rather than keeping you tied to the past.   In addition to her Interiors Therapy and Feng Shui consultancy and teaching, Suzanne is the author of award-winning bestseller 'Welcome Home, How Stuff Makes or Breaks your Relationship'. Learn more about Suzanne and her book: www.interiorstherapy.com Instagram: @interiors_therapy Learn more about Karin: https://drcalde.com Instagram: @theloveandconnectioncoach

    52 min
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5
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15 Ratings

About

Love Is Us is a podcast about rebuilding connection where it matters most: with yourself, with your intimate partners, and with the people and communities you care about. Hosted by Karin Calde, PhD, CPC, a former therapist and current relationship coach, the show features thoughtful conversations with experienced practitioners and guides exploring love, attachment, intimacy, and the inner work that supports lasting relationships. Many episodes focus on the unique questions that arise in midlife, when long-standing patterns surface and the desire for deeper authenticity grows stronger. Karin also brings her experience facilitating legal, guided psychedelic work in Oregon into the conversation, offering a grounded, ethical perspective on how expanded states of awareness can support insight, healing, and relational growth when approached with care, integrity, and integration. You'll hear honest, nuanced discussions about long-term partnership, dating, sex, and self-development, with an emphasis on depth, responsibility, and real-world application.

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