Moms of Medicine

Alison Trainor
  • 5.0 (90)
  • Parenting
  • Updated Bimonthly

Stories from the women physicians who have paved the way and those who are in the thick of it now. Hosted by Dr. Alison Trainor

  1. 7h ago

    62. Writing, medicine, and the stories that shape us with Dr. Suzanne Koven

    Connect with Moms of Medicine: - Instagram @moms_of_medicine - Momsofmedicine@gmail.com Connect with Dr. Suzanne Koven: - Substack on writing - Instagram - Website Ali reconnects with Dr. Suzanne Koven to talk about the writing life, why clinicians feel compelled to tell stories, and how to start when the blank page feels intimidating. They also discuss the tension between medicine, humanity, and AI, plus the personal experience that became the basis of Suzanne’s upcoming memoir, The Mirror Box.In this episode:   Suzanne says the first step in writing is to honor the impulse and ask why a story matters now  She explains why the best entry point is often an unstable moment rather than a huge topic like childhood, equity, or doctor-patient relationships  She shares her approach to getting words onto the page: capture fragments, trust the unconscious, and do not wait for a perfect outline  Suzanne breaks down why she relies on deadlines instead of daily word-count routines  She and Ali talk about how creative thoughts show up during real life, like showering, parenting, walking, or seeing patients  They discuss the fear of sitting with not knowing, which medicine often trains clinicians to avoid  Suzanne argues that literature and the humanities belong in medicine because they teach ambiguity, grief, racism, injustice, love, and family dynamics  The conversation turns to AI, which Suzanne sees as impressive and seductive, but limited because it cannot replace human interpretation, intuition, or reading a patient’s cues  She describes how burnout can come from being forced to ignore the moments when a clinician wants to pay closer attention and be more human  Suzanne shares the central event behind The Mirror Box: a fall that ended her primary care practice, followed by a mysterious hand syndrome that changed how she understood herself and her patients  She reflects on chronic pain, chronic fatigue, disability, and how illness alters identity  Ali and Suzanne discuss how deeply personal writing becomes a mirror for readers, not a window into the author  Suzanne revisits Letters to a Young Female Physician and says many of the concerns in that book still feel urgent today, especially sexism, imposter syndrome, pregnancy, and career pressure Timestamps: (0:00) Catching up after a year and a half away from clinical medicine (1:15) Why clinicians want to write, and what blocks them at the start (2:45) Honoring the impulse before trying to write (4:27) Finding the real story inside a single unstable moment (5:55) Why writing from a full outline makes boring prose (7:20) Why writing is not like checking off chart notes (8:57) Deadlines, not daily quotas, as Suzanne’s writing method (9:56) John Hersey, notes on the nightstand, and trusting the unconscious (12:41) Building the reflex to follow a story you cannot yet name (13:28) The “s****y first draft” and tolerating not knowing (14:46) Why literature belongs in medical training (16:37) Suzanne’s concerns about AI in medicine (18:51) Medicine as more than facts and memorization (20:02) Burnout, billing, and ignoring the moments that matter (23:33) Introducing the memoir The Mirror Box (24:17) What a mirror box is and why the title matters (25:46) The fall, the broken wrist, and the end of primary care (27:25) Situation versus story in memoir (28:19) The strange hand syndrome and the deeper meaning of the diagnosis (31:43) Chronic pain, chronic fatigue, and difficult-to-diagnose illness (33:26) Looking back at how she may have practiced differently (38:32) Whether retirement and identity loss shaped the illness narrative (41:27) How disability and trauma alter identity (42:18) Why personal writing works as a mirror for readers (46:02) Publishing a deeply personal book without shame (47:23) Wanting the book to help patients and clinicians (48:25) What still feels urgent from Letters to a Young Female Physician (50:35) The Mirror Box publication date and preorder details (51:32) Suzanne’s new Substack, Practice, for health professionals who love stories (53:17) Closing thanks and final reflections Support the show

  2. Oct 1

    61. Solo episode - breastfeeding

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  3. Sep 17

    60. Reclaiming Joy with Dr. Shani Esparaz

    In this conversation, Ali and Shani revisit the realities of burnout, perfectionism, and rebuilding a career in medicine in a way that actually fits your life. Shani shares how closing her practice, going part time, and coaching women in medicine all connect to one idea: you do not have to wait for some future milestone to feel joy. We discuss practical mindset tools for handling difficult moments, how to reframe failure and sunk cost thinking, and why small daily actions matter more than waiting for the “right” time to change. Key topics Shani shares what has changed since her last visit, including selling her practice in January and continuing to work part time as a retina specialist.In this episode, she explains why closing a practice is not automatically a failure and how it can actually create more alignment and joy.We discuss the concept of duality and how two things can be true at once, like being worried about a patient complication and still being fully present with your kids at Disneyland.Shani breaks down a step-by-step approach for handling stressful moments: feel the feelingsseparate facts from fictioncreate a plantrust your decisionsShe explains the “arrival fallacy” and why so many physicians keep postponing joy until after the next exam, promotion, publication, or career milestone.We talk about making goals smaller and more specific so progress feels achievable and worth celebrating along the way.Shani reflects on her own burnout experience, including ending up in the ER, and uses The Gap and the Gain to show how the same story can be framed as shame or growth.In this episode, she emphasizes that burnout is largely system driven, but there is still a portion within your control, especially around boundaries, mindset, and rest.She shares practical ways she recovered, including slowing down, going part time, journaling, yoga, friendship, and creative work.We discuss why people know what would help them feel better yet still self-sabotage, often because of fear, guilt, perfectionism, or identity shifts.Shani closes with the idea that saying yes to yourself strengthens your boundaries and helps you show up better for patients, kids, and partners. Support the show

  4. Sep 4

    59. Dr. Susan McIlvaine returns to talk having a baby as a new attending, infertility, and more

    Key topics In this episode, Susan explains that getting pregnant with Nicholas took about a year, similar to her experience conceiving Maddie, but for different reasons.She shares that after Maddie’s birth she had prolonged bleeding, which led to a DNC after a retained piece of placenta was found.Susan describes how that earlier procedure likely contributed to Asherman syndrome, with significant scar tissue in the uterus discovered during fertility workup.We discuss the repeated procedures she needed to clear scar tissue, including use of a Foley balloon to keep the uterus open while it healed.Susan talks about the emotional stress of fertility treatment while starting her first attending job and trying to manage clinic schedules, OR time, and appointments.She reflects on how hard it was to feel like a responsible new attending while also dealing with fertility care and early pregnancy visits.Susan compares postpartum anxiety with her first baby to the second time around, saying she was less overwhelmed, less intrusive-thought driven, and more able to recognize hard phases as temporary.She talks how the second baby changed the logistics of parenting, especially with a toddler already at home and less free time to ruminate.We discuss the difference between emotional and logistical difficulty when returning to work, including the intense feelings around daycare dropoff the first time.Susan explains how her family planned childcare coverage around the reality of daycare sickness by splitting parental leave and saving time for sick days.She talks through the weekly division of labor at home, including dropoffs, pickups, bottle prep, meals, and the constant negotiation between flexibility and structure.Susan shares that outsourcing more tasks, like laundry, feels like the next step, even though she still struggles with guilt about paying for help.Susan discusses how hard it can be to accept help with tasks you are technically capable of doing yourself.Susan says one of the biggest mindset shifts has been redefining what a successful day looks like, especially when parenting young children and working long hours.She names watching her two children interact as one of the most meaningful parts of parenting now.Susan also reflects on the strange, awe-inspiring biology of motherhood, including thinking about the eggs that existed in her body long before her children were born.Timestamps 00:00 - Reconnecting with Susan and introducing the second-baby conversation 00:41 - Nicholas turns one and the family keeps his birthday low-key 01:30 - Getting pregnant with Nicholas took another long road 03:47 - The postpartum bleeding after Maddie and the retained placenta 04:44 - Fertility testing leads to an unexpected diagnosis 05:18 - Discovering scar tissue and Asherman syndrome 06:14 - Multiple procedures with Foley balloons to reopen the uterus 07:16 - What it felt like to hear grim fertility statistics at nearly 40 08:32 - Managing pregnancy while starting a new attending job 09:47 - Balancing fertility appointments with clinic days and OR scheduling 10:47 - Why pregnancy felt hard to fully believe until much later 12:36 - Nicholas arrives and the second postpartum experience begins 13:02 - Less anxiety, fewer intrusive thoughts, and more emotional ease 14:28 - Why the second baby phase felt more peaceful overall 15:19 - Postpartum anxiety, vigilance, and intrusive thoughts 16:39 - Breastfeeding with less pressure the second time around 18:21 - The emotional pain of first daycare dropoff 19:41 - Why returning to work was harder logistically than emotionally 20:58 - Leaving a child at daycare versus leaving with familiar help 23:57 - Leave policy discussion gets cut from the conversation 24:57 - Why childcare planning starts with backup support 25:56 - Splitting parental leave and saving time for sick days 27:22 - Weekly dropoff and pickup coordination between parents 28:16 - The daily battle over meals, bottles, and night versus morning tasks 31:17 - Why outsourcing laundry feels like a realistic next step 32:31 - Hiring help for meal prep and folding laundry, and still feeling weird about it 35:29 - Relearning that not every productive task is the right task 36:27 - Redefining a successful day beyond housework and to-do lists 37:32 - Cleaning as a way to regain control in a chaotic season 38:29 - Favorite and least favorite parts of parenting 39:19 - Watching siblings interact and the wonder of family biology 40:40 - The “baby store” joke and closing thoughts Support the show

  5. Aug 20

    58. Solo episode - Colin's birth story part 2

    Finally sharing about the day Colin was born! Timestamps 00:00 - Introducing Colin’s birth story and the weekend that led up to it  01:00 - Why the induction was scheduled around 37 weeks  02:00 - A calm morning with Connor before heading to daycare  03:00 - Boston rush hour versus the chaos of natural labor  04:00 - Checking in at the hospital and the first emotional moment with the OB team  05:00 - Crying when kindness hit harder than strength  06:00 - Why she chose to proceed with induction despite grief  07:00 - What “birth plan” meant in this context  08:00 - Wearing her dad’s Patriots hat and wanting an epidural ASAP  09:00 - Reflections on epidurals, pain, and her first labor with Connor  10:00 - Starting the induction and wanting to be a passenger this time  11:00 - Cytotec, Foley balloon, and contractions that got things moving  12:00 - Her husband points out they do not need to wait for pain before requesting the epidural  13:00 - Her outpatient OB’s unusual commitment to seeing her for every prenatal visit  14:00 - How thoughtful communication and data-driven care shaped the pregnancy  15:00 - Her OB’s support behind the scenes, including tumor board advocacy  16:00 - Brief Pitocin trial and the baby’s immediate reaction  17:00 - Watching TV, laughing, and keeping the room light during labor  18:00 - The surprise baby-name vote and the fun of not knowing the sex  19:00 - Checking the ICU schedule just in case birth complications sent her there  20:00 - Pressure builds and the team realizes the baby is crowning  21:00 - Waiting for the OB to arrive before pushing  22:00 - Colin is born and the room fills with tears and emotion  23:00 - Why pregnancy felt emotionally distant and uncertain  24:00 - Seeing the baby on ultrasound and struggling with chemo-related worry  25:00 - How not knowing the sex helped her stay detached and hopeful  26:00 - Colin arrives healthy, despite the cord being wrapped twice  27:00 - Naming Colin Robert and honoring her dad through the middle name  28:00 - Telling family the baby is a boy and heading to postpartum recovery  29:00 - Post-birth CT and MRI scans while still processing the cancer  30:00 - Crying in the MRI and the strain of high highs and low lows  31:00 - Why she does not believe grief and trauma can always be neatly processed  32:00 - Family meeting Colin and the reminder that life keeps moving  33:00 - Watching both boys grow and comparing first-time parenting to second-time parenting  34:00 - Colin’s bright, social personality and the sense that he brought light into the family  35:00 - Looking back on cancer during pregnancy as an unexpected blessing  36:00 - Closing gratitude for Colin, Connor, and the listeners Support the show

  6. Jul 30

    57. Solo episode - Colin's birth story part 1

    Summary In this episode, I talk about grieving my dad's death while preparing for the birth of my son and navigating cancer treatment.  Key topics Coping with grief after losing a parentBalancing emotional pain with joyful momentsPreparing for childbirth amidst health challengesThe significance of meaningful keepsakes and ritualsThe coexistence of sadness and happiness in life Keywords grief, motherhood, cancer, resilience, personal story, loss, emotional strength, life challenges Chapters 00:00 Introduction and overview of the episode 00:28 Personal reflection on the impact of losing her father 01:21 The challenge of coping with grief in daily life 02:21 The unpredictability of grief and emotional responses 03:19 A moment of humor during a difficult day 04:49 The significance of photos and memories 05:48 Managing cancer pain while preparing for childbirth 07:12 Medical check-up and reassurance about the baby 08:54 The innocence of children and their impact on grief 09:33 Scheduling conflicts between birth and funeral arrangements 11:22 Deciding on the timing of induction and funeral 12:46 Making the most of last family moments before birth 14:24 The significance of meaningful keepsakes and symbols 16:32 Carrying a piece of her father with her during labor 17:54 Conclusion and upcoming episode focus Support the show

  7. Jul 23

    56. Solo episode - my dad's death and how it changed my perspective on end of life care

    In this episode, I talk about my experience with my father’s death, navigating difficult conversations, and how my medical background both challenged and supported me during this time. Main Topics Covered:   The reasons behind my hiatusThe significance of storytelling for connection, reflection, and emotional resilienceWalking through the emotional and logistical experience of my father’s death in the hospitalChallenges of end-of-life conversations within my family and the impact of medical burnoutLessons I learned about planning for chronic illness, death, and the importance of having honest, compassionate discussionsThe emotional aftermath, including feelings of grief, guilt, and gratitudeThe cathartic process of sharing my story and the future of my podcast  Timestamps:  00:00 - Introduction: Why I stepped back   02:00 - The healing power of storytelling in connecting with others  03:30 - Navigating personal grief while balancing a medical career  05:00 - The moments leading to my father’s death  07:00 - The hard realities of end-of-life decisions and family discussions  09:00 - The emotional toll of seeing a loved one suffer and die  11:00 - The impact of healthcare burnout on personal and family moments  13:00 - Reflections on medical planning, directives, and difficult conversations  15:00 - The experience of loss and feelings of guilt and sadness  17:00 - The significance of presence, love, and memory in grief  19:00 - Returning to the podcast: sharing my story to heal and connect  21:00 - Future plans for solo episodes and interviews   Support the show

  8. 11/06/2025

    55. Solo episode - going through chemotherapy

    Keywords cancer treatment, chemotherapy, motherhood, emotional support, personal journey, health challenges, parenting, medical experiences, resilience, community support Summary In this solo episode, Dr. Alison Trainor shares her personal journey through cancer treatment while balancing motherhood. She discusses the emotional and physical challenges of chemotherapy, the impact of hair loss, and the support she received from friends and family. Alison reflects on the complexities of navigating her health while being a parent and the importance of community support during difficult times. Takeaways The transition from work to medical leave was emotionally challenging. Chemotherapy brought both physical and emotional struggles. Hair loss was a significant emotional hurdle during treatment. Support from friends and family was crucial during this journey. The experience of being a patient gave insight into patient care. Navigating treatment while pregnant added complexity to her situation. The emotional toll of scan results can be overwhelming. Community support, like meal trains, made a big difference. It's important to communicate openly about what support is needed. Finding joy in small moments with family helped cope with challenges. Chapters 00:00 Introduction and Personal Update 01:28 Navigating Work and Cancer Diagnosis 05:41 Chemotherapy Regimen and Initial Experiences 12:27 Emotional and Physical Challenges of Treatment 16:03 Hair Loss and Its Impact 20:13 Adjusting to Public Perception and Normalcy 23:02 Additional Treatment Considerations and Reflections 26:20 Navigating the Emotional Landscape of Illness 34:07 The Impact of Community Support 47:39 Finding Meaning in Difficult Times Support the show

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5
out of 5
90 Ratings

About

Stories from the women physicians who have paved the way and those who are in the thick of it now. Hosted by Dr. Alison Trainor

Information

  • Creator
    Alison Trainor
  • Years Active
    2023 - 2026
  • Episodes
    62
  • Rating
    Explicit
  • Copyright
    © 2026 Moms of Medicine
  • Show Website
    Moms of Medicine

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