Mid-life Men: the mental health podcast

Philip Briscoe
  • 4.0 (8)
  • MENTAL HEALTH
  • UPDATED WEEKLY

Have you ever felt like you’ve become lost in your own life? Many men struggle to talk about their problems and mental health and grew up believing that to do can be perceived as a sign of weakness or failure. There is also a lack of open discussion in society around men’s mental health, especially aimed at mid-life men.  As a result, at times many men can feel alone and lost in their own lives. In this podcast series, I talk to mid-life men about their stories; the challenges, the turning points, and the support received to help them find their way so that others who may be suffering in silence or don’t know what to do next, realise that they are not alone and there is help available. Stories will cover a whole range of challenges faced by mid-life men mainly relating to the causes of mental health issues including feelings of isolation, depression, job dissatisfaction, addiction, PTSD, and long-term illness.The podcast is NOT a replacement for professional support and we signpost to organisations and their contact details by episode. If you have a story you would like to share or any feedback on the podcasts, please email me: midlifemen01@gmail.com.

  1. Why I Kept Trying to Make It Work, with Simon Verhage

    MAR 22

    Why I Kept Trying to Make It Work, with Simon Verhage

    Some men don’t just go through one difficult relationship.  They find themselves asking a harder question: Why do I keep ending up in the same situation with different people?  In this episode, Simon Verhage talks honestly about growing up feeling unheard, carrying that need for connection into adult life, and how that led him into relationships he hoped would finally give him the stability he was looking for.  What makes this conversation different is how openly he talks about the pattern, not just one breakdown but several, and the difficult realisation that until he understood himself better, the same outcomes were likely to repeat.  We talk about things many men recognise but rarely connect together:   how early family dynamics can shape the partners we choose  why some men stay too long trying to “make it work”  how self-worth affects the relationships we accept  what it takes to step away from environments that aren’t healthy  simple ways to start rebuilding stability from the inside.Simon also shares how these experiences led him to create Men’s Mind Cave, a space where men can talk openly about relationship breakdown, stress, separation, and rebuilding without feeling judged. This episode isn’t about blaming partners or reliving the past. It’s about something more uncomfortable and more useful: recognising patterns, taking responsibility for your own direction, and learning how to stop repeating what isn’t working. If you’ve ever found yourself thinking, "How did I end up here again?” This will probably resonate. If you want to find out more about Simon and the Men’s Mind Cave, visit his website https://mensmindcave.co.uk/ and you can also find him on Facebook or Instagram under Men's Mind Cave.

    44 min
  2. When You Know Something Has to Change, with Dr James Rouse

    MAR 16

    When You Know Something Has to Change, with Dr James Rouse

    In this episode I talk with Dr James Rouse, author of "No Days Off", about what that moment looked like for him. Growing up around alcohol, instability, and pressure to just get on with things, he followed a path a lot of men fall into: drinking too much, pushing himself hard physically, and trying to outrun how he felt rather than face it.  Some men don’t crash. They just reach a point where they quietly think: “I can’t keep living like this.”  What makes this conversation different is how honest he is about how change actually happened. Not a breakthrough. Not a rock-bottom moment. Just a slow realisation that if nothing changed, nothing was going to change.  We talk about things many men will recognise but rarely say out loud:  how easy it is to drift into habits you don’t feel proud ofwhy many men try to "outwork" their problems instead of talking about themhow small daily routines can start rebuilding self-respectwhy consistency matters more than motivationwhat to do when you don’t like yourself very much but still want things to improveJames also brings something unusual to this discussion. He’s not just speaking from experience, he’s spent decades understanding what’s happening in the brain and body when men feel stuck, flat, or fed up with themselves.   What comes through is simple but powerful: Change often starts before confidence does. Sometimes it just starts with doing one better thing today than you did yesterday. This isn’t an episode about dramatic transformation. It’s about something much more relatable: how ordinary men slowly get themselves back on track without making a big show of it. If you’ve ever looked at your life and thought “this isn’t where I wanted to end up”, this conversation will probably feel very familiar. To find out more about James, you can find him on Instragram: drjamesrouse, and his book "No Days Off" is available to buy online.

    41 min
  3. How to Let Your Body Release Stress, with Richmond Heath

    MAR 10

    How to Let Your Body Release Stress, with Richmond Heath

    Most men deal with stress the same way: push through, stay in control, and keep going. But what if the body already has its own built-in way to release stress, and we’ve simply been taught to suppress it? In this episode I speak with Richmond Heath, a physiotherapist and one of the pioneers of Trauma Release Exercises (TRE) in Australia. Richmond’s interest in this work began with his own experience of chronic pain and high-functioning anxiety, which traditional treatments never fully resolved. His turning point came during a meditation retreat when his body began to move and release tension on its own, an experience that led him to explore how the nervous system stores stress and how the body can regulate itself. We discuss what TRE is and how it works: a simple method that activates the body’s natural tremor reflex to help release deep tension and calm the nervous system. In this conversation, you’ll learn: why stress and trauma are not just mental experiences but physical patterns held in the body.how chronic tension can quietly drive pain, anxiety, and exhaustion.why humans instinctively suppress shaking and trembling even though it’s a natural recovery response.how TRE helps the body down-regulate stress and restore balance.why learning to let go of control can sometimes be more powerful than trying to manage everything.This episode is not about quick fixes. It’s about understanding how the body and nervous system actually recover from stress and how reconnecting with that process can change the way we approach well-being, resilience, and midlife transitions. For anyone feeling worn down by constant pressure or curious about the deeper connection between stress and the body, this conversation offers a thoughtful introduction to an approach that many people have never encountered before. To find out more about TRE just search online. To find out more about Ricmond, visit the website treaustralia.com and search for Richmond Heath.

    41 min
  4. The Price of Playing the Tough Guy, with Jacob Butchoff

    MAR 2

    The Price of Playing the Tough Guy, with Jacob Butchoff

    This is a difficult and honest conversation.  For years, Jacob played the tough guy.  Violence, intimidation, and control became a shield against something he could not face in himself. The price was prison, addiction, fractured relationships and a life built on concealing his true identity.  Adopted as a baby and raised in a loving, privileged home in North London, Jacob grew up with a persistent sense of not belonging. Alongside that was the realisation, from a young age, that he was gay. Instead of acknowledging it, he suppressed it. What followed was not confusion, it was deliberate rejection of himself. He constructed a persona built on aggression and intimidation. Violence became a way to avoid scrutiny. Crime became a way to reinforce the mask. That path led to prison, addiction, secrecy, and years of internal conflict. This episode does not romanticise any of it. Jacob speaks plainly about: Growing up adopted and carrying an unspoken sense of differenceThe exhaustion of maintaining two identitiesUsing violence as protectionThe psychological reality of prisonAddiction and isolation after releaseSearching for identity in the wrong placesCaring for his father with dementia and confronting what truly mattersComing to terms with his sexuality later in lifeThere are no easy lessons in this story. It is uncomfortable at times. But it is real. Why listen? Because while few men will follow Jacob’s exact path, many will recognise parts of it, the mask, the suppression, the anger, the attempt to prove strength instead of admitting fear. This episode is about the cost of self-rejection. It is about responsibility. It is about identity. And it is about the slow work of rebuilding a life once you decide to stop running. Jacob does not present himself as a victim. He accepts the consequences of his actions. What he offers instead is perspective: strength is willingness to live honestly, even after years of doing the opposite. This conversation will not be for everyone. But for those who are carrying something unspoken, it may resonate more than they expect.

    1h 13m
  5. Feeling Like I’m From Mars: Late Autism Diagnosis, with Gary Hawkins

    MAR 2

    Feeling Like I’m From Mars: Late Autism Diagnosis, with Gary Hawkins

    What happens when you grow up feeling like you don’t quite fit, and you spend decades assuming the problem is you? In this episode, I speak with Gary Hawkins, a long-serving NHS clinician who was diagnosed as autistic later in life. Gary’s story is not neat or linear. It includes childhood chaos, being labelled “unteachable,” boarding school, the traumatic loss of his father in the Falklands, years of masking in professional environments, severe burnout, misdiagnosis, medication that didn’t help, and eventually, a diagnosis that brought clarity rather than cure. This is not a conversation about labels for the sake of labels. It’s about identity, shame, exhaustion, and the quiet cost of trying to pass as “normal” for decades. Gary speaks candidly about: Growing up feeling like he was “from Mars”The impact of trauma layered on top of neurodiversityBeing misdiagnosed and treated for the wrong thingsThe experience of masking in professional life, and the exhaustion that followsWhy autism is not a mental illness, but a different operating systemThe increased risk of depression and suicide in autistic menWhy diagnosis doesn’t change your life, but can change how you see yourselfAnd why men are particularly poor at talking about how they really feelWe also explore the overlap between mental health and neurodiversity, and why many men may have spent years thinking they are lazy, difficult, arrogant, or broken, when in reality they may simply process the world differently. This episode is relevant not only for those considering whether autism or neurodiversity might apply to them, but for anyone who has: Felt chronically out of placeStruggled with social situations but excelled professionallyExperienced burnout that didn’t make senseBeen told they’re “too much” or “not enough”Spent years masking to surviveGary doesn’t present autism as a superpower. Nor does he present it as tragedy. He presents it as reality — complex, nuanced, sometimes painful, and deeply human. Perhaps most importantly, this conversation is about self-acceptance. Not as a slogan, but as hard-won ground.

    42 min
  6. Hard Choices, Easy Life, with Jerzy Gregorek

    FEB 2

    Hard Choices, Easy Life, with Jerzy Gregorek

    You won’t hear many life stories like this. Jerzy Gregorek’s life spans teenage alcoholism and suicidal thoughts, elite Olympic-level weightlifting, political exile from communist Poland, serious injury and paralysis, underground resistance work, and the long, unglamorous process of starting again in a new country. More than once. What makes this episode different is that Jerzy doesn’t romanticise any of it. He speaks plainly about the cost of bad choices, the patience required to rebuild, and the quiet discipline that slowly turns chaos into stability. Out of that lived experience comes a principle Jerzy is known for, and one that keeps resurfacing throughout this conversation: Hard choices, easy life. Easy choices, hard life. We talk about what that really looks like over decades, not weeks: how small, daily decisions quietly compound over time, for better or worsewhy discipline isn’t punishment, but a way outhow men lose themselves when they chase comfort instead of progresswhy strength, learning, and mentors matter more than motivationand why it’s never too late to choose a harder path that leads somewhere better.Alongside his own journey, Jerzy has spent decades working with others in the US through writing, poetry, and physical training. Through his gym and his book The Happy Body, he brings together strength, philosophy, and lived experience, helping people understand how the body, mind, and daily discipline shape each other over time. This work isn’t theoretical; it’s an extension of the life he’s lived and the principles he’s tested on himself first. This isn’t a story about quick fixes or overnight transformations. It’s about playing the long game, physically, mentally, and morally, and accepting that meaningful change usually comes from doing difficult things consistently, when no one is watching. If you want to learn more about Jerzy and his work, visit thehappybody.com.

    54 min
  7. Growing Up in Chaos with Lee Greenhough

    JAN 26

    Growing Up in Chaos with Lee Greenhough

    What happens when you grow up in chaos and just learn to get on with it? In this episode, I talk with filmmaker and speaker Lee Greenhough about growing up around loss, addiction, and instability and how those early years quietly shape the choices men make later in life. Lee shares what it’s like to carry things you never dealt with, how that weight can surface through drinking, anger, or restlessness, and why change rarely comes from big moments or sudden insight. Instead, this conversation is about responsibility, momentum, and the small decisions that slowly pull a life back on track, even when no one ever showed you how. Lee talks candidly about losing his father at a young age, growing up with an alcoholic parent, and how unprocessed grief and trauma followed him into adulthood. He reflects on the years where drinking became the release valve, and the risk, and how close he came to losing the life he was quietly building. Rather than presenting himself as “fixed”, Lee is clear about what actually helped: taking responsibility, putting himself in better environments, committing to work, movement, and creative outlets, and learning to challenge the constant negative voice in his own head. He explains why therapy didn’t give him the answers he needed, and why momentum, not motivation, became the thing that changed everything. The conversation also explores creativity as a survival tool. Lee shares how writing and filmmaking became a way to process what he couldn’t talk about and why so many men abandon creative instincts they had earlier in life, often without realising the cost to their mental health. This episode will resonate with men who: Grew up fast with little guidance.Feel functional but not settled.Rely on distraction, work, or alcohol to keep things contained.Know something needs to change, but don’t relate to advice or slogans.There are no hacks here. No reinvention story. Just an honest account of how small decisions, repeated over time, can stop a life drifting off course, even when the starting point was far from ideal. If you want to find out more about Lee’s films, visit his website www.greenhoughfilms.co.uk and to find out more about his speaking work, visit https://www.speakingwithlee.co.uk.

    46 min
  8. Why Intimacy Starts to Fade, with Dr Dan Sneider

    JAN 19

    Why Intimacy Starts to Fade, with Dr Dan Sneider

    A lot of men don’t think they have a problem with intimacy. They just feel a bit distant. A bit shut down. Less connected than they used to be to their partner, to sex, or to themselves. This episode goes right into that space. I’m joined by Dr. Dan Sneider. Dan is a therapist; however, this isn’t a lecture or a list of techniques. It’s a conversation grounded in his own lived experience and how he learned early on to shut parts of himself down, how that showed up in his relationships, and what it actually took for him to stay present instead of withdrawing when things got uncomfortable. We talk about how intimacy doesn’t usually disappear overnight. It fades quietly. How many men default to pulling away rather than risking saying the wrong thing. And how habits that look like “sex issues” are often really about safety, control, and not knowing how to stay emotionally exposed without feeling weak or overwhelmed. Dan shares what he’s learned, first in his own life, then through years of working alongside men, including: why emotional closeness can feel threatening, even in good relationshipshow shame and self-protection show up as silence, distraction, or distancewhy midlife often brings intimacy problems to the surfaceand how connection starts with honesty, not performance or confidenceThis episode is for men who care about their relationships but don’t always know how to talk about what’s going on inside them. Men who haven’t “checked out”, but who feel something has shifted and don’t want to lose what matters. It’s not about fixing yourself. It’s about understanding why intimacy feels hard and what actually helps. If you want to find out more about Dan’s work, visit his website where you can also download his free guide: https://www.growthandgratitudetherapy.com/the-intimacy-shift.

    39 min
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4
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About

Have you ever felt like you’ve become lost in your own life? Many men struggle to talk about their problems and mental health and grew up believing that to do can be perceived as a sign of weakness or failure. There is also a lack of open discussion in society around men’s mental health, especially aimed at mid-life men.  As a result, at times many men can feel alone and lost in their own lives. In this podcast series, I talk to mid-life men about their stories; the challenges, the turning points, and the support received to help them find their way so that others who may be suffering in silence or don’t know what to do next, realise that they are not alone and there is help available. Stories will cover a whole range of challenges faced by mid-life men mainly relating to the causes of mental health issues including feelings of isolation, depression, job dissatisfaction, addiction, PTSD, and long-term illness.The podcast is NOT a replacement for professional support and we signpost to organisations and their contact details by episode. If you have a story you would like to share or any feedback on the podcasts, please email me: midlifemen01@gmail.com.

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