Mid-life Men: the mental health podcast

Philip Briscoe
  • 4.3 (11)
  • Mental Health
  • Updated Weekly

Have you ever felt like you’ve become lost in your own life? Many men struggle to talk about their problems and mental health and grew up believing that to do can be perceived as a sign of weakness or failure. There is also a lack of open discussion in society around men’s mental health, especially aimed at mid-life men.  As a result, at times many men can feel alone and lost in their own lives. In this podcast series, I talk to mid-life men about their stories; the challenges, the turning points, and the support received to help them find their way so that others who may be suffering in silence or don’t know what to do next, realise that they are not alone and there is help available. Stories will cover a whole range of challenges faced by mid-life men mainly relating to the causes of mental health issues including feelings of isolation, depression, job dissatisfaction, addiction, PTSD, and long-term illness.The podcast is NOT a replacement for professional support and we signpost to organisations and their contact details by episode. If you have a story you would like to share or any feedback on the podcasts, please email me: midlifemen01@gmail.com.

  1. 16h ago

    Retirement: Who Am I Without My Work? with Chris Maduri

    You might know when you want to retire. But what do you want your life to look like when you do? Long mornings, no commute, nobody telling you what to do. It sounds appealing. Yet work gives us more than we sometimes realise: people to talk to, a reason to get up, a sense of achievement and an answer to the question, “What do you do?” So what happens when all that changes? Chris Maduri joins me to explore the side of retirement we can easily overlook while counting down to our last day. We talk about feeling needed, losing touch with friends and interests, and why suddenly having all the time in the world can be surprisingly unsettling. And then there’s life at home. You may be looking forward to spending more time with your partner but have you talked about what being together every day will actually mean? We explore: • Who you are when your job title no longer introduces you. • How to build friendships when work stops providing them. • Sharing a home without losing your independence. • Trying something new without needing to be good at it. • Finding ways to contribute when you still have plenty to give. We also touch on money worries, but the question running through this conversation is bigger: what are you retiring to? Whether retirement is years away or you’re already wondering what comes next, listen for a different way to start planning: picture a week you’d genuinely enjoy living. Find out more about Chris: https://vibrantretirement.com/

    Retirement: Who Am I Without My Work? with Chris Maduri

  2. Sep 24

    How Do You Live With the Childhood You Survived? with Chaz Holesworth

    Chaz Holesworth grew up in Kensington, Philadelphia, a neighbourhood gutted by poverty and an opioid crisis that hasn't let up since the 1980s. His father was a heroin addict for over 20 years. His mother, overwhelmed and unsupported, pulled the family into a fundamentalist born-again church that cut them off from the outside world, banned music and movies, and taught Chaz from age four that he was one sinful thought away from hell.  In this episode, Chaz talks about what it was like growing up in a condemned house with roaches and rats, dodging drug dealers and police raids on his own street, and how, underneath all of it, a stricter kind of damage was being done: guilt, fear, and an OCD compulsion to "cleanse" his own thoughts before he was allowed to pray.  We talk about the moment a random kid at an arcade played him R.E.M.'s "Losing My Religion" and how that song, and the ones that came after, became the closest thing he had to a way out. We talk about his father's addiction, his own careful relationship with alcohol as an adult, the sister he lost to cancer, and the breakdown in his 20s; he says he still doesn't know how he survived.  Chaz has now written his story into a memoir series — Life and How to Live It — with each book named after an R.E.M. song. He talks candidly about why putting it on paper did what years of therapy couldn't, why he doesn't believe you get to "move past" your childhood so much as build a life alongside it, and what he'd say to anyone still carrying guilt for things that were never their fault to begin with.  This is a raw and honest conversation about poverty, religion, addiction, music, and what's left of a person once they've survived thier childhood trauma.  Find Chaz: Website: chazholesworthbooks.com Books: Life and How to Live It series, available on Amazon and Barnes & Noble  Content note: This conversation includes discussion of childhood trauma, poverty, heroin addiction, controlling religion, bereavement, OCD, suicidal thoughts and alcohol use.

    How Do You Live With the Childhood You Survived? with Chaz Holesworth

  3. Sep 18

    Would You Paint Your Nails for a Week? with Daniele Fiandaca

    In this episode, I do something I have never done before: I have my nails painted during the interview and agree to keep them that way for a week. My guest is Daniele Fiandaca, co-founder of Hard As Nails, a campaign inviting men to paint their nails to challenge some of the unwritten rules around masculinity, mental health and start conversations that might not otherwise happen. Even choosing the colour tells me something. Faced with several options, I instinctively reach for black because it feels the most “masculine”. I eventually settle on dark charcoal, but the question remains: why should four layers of nail polish feel like such a big deal? As Daniele files and paints my nails, we talk about the “man box”: the expectations that men should be strong, self-reliant, heterosexual, successful and in control. Those rules can seem harmless until they stop someone asking for help, admitting they are struggling or forming the close friendships they need. We also explore why having your nails painted can create an unexpectedly safe space for conversation. There is less eye contact, someone is holding your hand, and the usual barriers begin to come down. That leads us into a wider discussion about vulnerability, intimacy between male friends, the pressure to be the breadwinner and why so many men have people to socialise with but nobody they can really talk to. You will hear: How Hard As Nails began with a trip to a Harry Styles concert.Why wearing nail polish for a week matters more than simply having it applied.How the expectations placed on men can affect their mental health.Why male friendship often stops at banter.How community can help men who feel isolated.Why encouraging men to open up must be matched by somewhere safe to do it.At the end of the episode, I return to share what happened during my week with painted nails, how other people responded and whether the experience changed anything for me. Take part in Hard As Nails Hard As Nails is inviting thousands of men to paint their nails and wear them for one week this November. This is a national social experiment examining whether stepping outside one of the unwritten rules of masculinity can change attitudes, encourage more honest conversations and help men show up for the people around them. Taking part is straightforward. You complete a short anonymous assessment, have your nails painted, wear them for a week and then complete a follow-up assessment. You can visit a nail salon or ask your partner, daughter, friend or colleague to paint them. It might sound like a small thing. As I discovered, it feels rather different when you have to take your painted nails into meetings, onto the train, to the pub and through the rest of your everyday life. If you are a man wondering whether you would have the nerve to do it, this is your invitation. Sign up, choose your week in November and find out what the experience brings up for you. Join the experiment at hard-as-nails.com.  If you are struggling or experiencing suicidal thoughts, you can contact CALM on 0800 58 58 58, from 5pm to midnight every day, or visit the CALM website.

    Would You Paint Your Nails for a Week? with Daniele Fiandaca

  4. Sep 9

    What Happens When Men Sing Together? with Dom Stichbury

    When was the last time you did something that made you feel slightly exposed, a little uncomfortable, but might just have opened up a whole new part of your life?  In this slightly different episode of Mid-Life Men, my guest is Dom Stichbury, founder and musical director of Chaps Choir, a London-based singing gang that's been bringing men together through music, performance and friendship since 2013.  And you don't have to think of yourself as a singer to get something from this conversation.  Dom started Chaps Choir after noticing how few younger men were involved in group singing. What began as an experiment attracted around 60 men on its first night and developed into something much bigger than a place to learn songs: a community where friendships form, confidence grows and men have permission to express parts of themselves they might keep hidden elsewhere.  Dom talks about why singing alongside other people can feel surprisingly powerful — particularly for men. There's vulnerability in simply using your voice in front of others, but also freedom in discovering that you don't have to be brilliant, polished or fearless to take part. As Dom explains, for some men just walking through the door of a choir is a significant step outside their comfort zone.  We explore why men need a wider range of places to meet than the traditional pub or football match; how a regular group can become an important anchor for someone feeling isolated; and why performing alongside your “gang” can create a powerful sense of achievement, self-confidence and belonging.  And this episode sounds different too. You'll hear three performances during the conversation, illustrating the extraordinary range of what a group of male voices can express — from power and energy to vulnerability and reflection:  Ole Laya Loila - a powerful piece inspired by the Sámi tradition of yoiking. To All The Boys by Adam Beattie - a vulnerable song about men hiding their feelings. Now Is Time — written by Dom around the urgency of taking action in our own lives and the wider world. Perhaps the most important message is for the man listening who thinks, I couldn't possibly do that.  Dom's advice is simple: find a group that feels right, ask questions if you're nervous and give it a go. You may discover that using your voice alongside other people gives you far more than you expected.  Look online to find your local inclusive singing groups, for example, through the Natural Voice Network in the UK, or to find out more about Dom and his work, visit his website: dominicstichbury.com.

    What Happens When Men Sing Together? with Dom Stichbury

  5. Aug 29

    The Grief of Losing Who You Were, with Martin Pemberton

    Content note: This episode includes discussion of depression and suicidal thoughts. If you or someone you know is struggling with suicidal thoughts, there are organisations you can call now. In the UK, you can call the Samaritans on 116 123. In the US, you can call the 988 Suicide & Crisis Lifeline. In Australia, call Lifeline on 13 11 14. As always, the advice is to speak to a GP or mental health professional.  Martin Pemberton became a professional footballer twice, achieving the ambition that had shaped his life from childhood. But when football ended, he lost far more than a career. The identity, purpose, routine and sense of belonging it had given him disappeared too, and he was unprepared for what followed.  Martin moved quickly into a new job, marriage and fatherhood, apparently getting on with life. Underneath, however, he was struggling. Over the following years, that unaddressed loss developed into anxiety, depression and thoughts of ending his life.  Martin believes that losing an important role can produce a form of grief, even when nobody has died. It can follow retirement, redundancy, divorce, a change in family life or any experience that leaves you wondering who you are now. Because men often feel they should be able to cope, that grief can become mixed with shame, isolation and a sense of failure.  In this honest and practical conversation, Martin explains how he began rejecting and abandoning himself without recognising what was happening. He also describes the difficult conversation that finally forced him to confront how he felt about himself and became the catalyst for his recovery.  We discuss:   Why losing a career or role can feel like a bereavement  The subtle signs that a man may be starting to abandon himself  Why pressure to provide can make change feel like personal failure  How childhood experiences can teach men that speaking up is unsafe  Why telling the wrong person can sometimes make things worse  The difference between accepting difficult feelings and giving in to them  Why outward success can still leave us feeling empty  How emotions can be treated as information rather than commands  A simple exercise for separating what you can control from what you cannot Martin also explores the idea behind his book, The Hollow Victory: why following the expected path – career, recognition, money, relationships and achievement – does not always produce the fulfilment we were promised. This episode is for anyone who appears to be coping but privately feels disconnected, dissatisfied or unsure who they are anymore. It offers a way to understand what may be happening beneath the surface and a small, practical first step towards finding a way forward. Find out more about Martin, his work and The Hollow Victory at Just 1 to 11 It Coaching.

    The Grief of Losing Who You Were, with Martin Pemberton

  6. Aug 22

    Is Chasing Money Making You Happy? with Tom Papasian

    Growing up with a single mother in a one-bedroom apartment on the French Riviera, Tom Papasian saw extraordinary wealth all around him but experienced a very different reality at home. As a young boy, he quietly decided that he would make enough money to ensure that neither he nor his mother ever felt financially vulnerable again. That decision shaped the next two decades of his life. Tom worked relentlessly, moved between countries and pursued one opportunity after another. Yet however much he earned or changed his circumstances, the sense of security he was chasing never quite arrived. This episode explores a form of dissatisfaction that can be difficult to explain: nothing has necessarily gone badly wrong, but the life you have worked hard to build no longer feels right. For Tom, it appeared as restlessness, an inability to tolerate boredom, Sunday dread, frustration with the people closest to him and a recurring urge to escape by changing jobs, starting something new or moving somewhere else. What makes this conversation different is that it is not a dramatic story of everything falling apart. It is about noticing the quieter signs before that happens and confronting the unsettling possibility that the identity which once motivated and protected you may now be holding you back. Tom talks candidly about having to grieve the person he had spent years becoming. He describes moving away from an identity built almost entirely around money, achievement and self-reliance and beginning to ask a different set of questions: What matters to me? What makes me feel alive? What comes naturally to me? And what kind of life do I actually want? Our conversation covers: why financial security does not always create an internal sense of safety;how boredom, anger and constant restlessness can point to something deeper;why changing jobs, locations or goals may not resolve the real problem;what it means to separate your identity from your work and achievements;how personal values can provide direction when you do not know what comes next;why changing course does not require rejecting everything you were before;how to explore a new direction while continuing to meet financial and family responsibilities;the importance of allowing uncertainty rather than immediately trying to fix or escape it.Tom also shares the practical reality of retraining over four years while working full-time, moving home and becoming a father. His story is not about abandoning responsibility to “follow your passion”. It is about gradually creating space for another part of yourself, and recognising that the qualities which helped you build your old life can also help you create what comes next. If you have ever thought, I should be satisfied, so why doesn’t this feel like enough? , this conversation may help you understand what that feeling is trying to tell you. Find out more about Tom at www.tompapasianpsychotherapy.com or you can contact him on LinkedIn.

    Is Chasing Money Making You Happy? with Tom Papasian

  7. Aug 16

    When You Feel Trapped and Can’t See a Way Forward, with Ian Kinnery

    Content note: This episode includes a frank discussion of depression, suicidal thoughts, a suicide attempt and psychiatric treatment. Please listen with care. If the issues raised affect you, speak to someone you trust or seek appropriate professional support.  From the outside, Ian Kinnery appeared to have everything: a successful business, financial security and the status he had worked relentlessly to achieve. Behind that success, however, he felt increasingly trapped by responsibility, financial pressure, a deteriorating marriage and the belief that he had to carry everything alone. In this candid conversation, Ian describes how that pressure gradually affected both his mental and physical health, culminating in an attempt to take his own life. He reflects on psychiatric treatment, ECT and the difficult period that followed, including returning to run his business while struggling with memory loss. His recovery did not come through a single breakthrough but slowly, through talking therapy, support from someone he trusted, allowing himself time to heal and learning to concentrate on what he could actually control. Ian’s experience will resonate beyond business owners. This is a conversation for anyone who feels overwhelmed by responsibility, unable to see a way out of their circumstances or lonely despite being surrounded by other people. Ian explains why loneliness is not simply about being alone but can come from being unable to tell anyone what is really happening inside. Listeners will hear: how ambition and self-reliance can gradually become damaging;why continuing to “push through” is not always the answer;how pressure can distort perspective and make every option appear closed;the importance of having someone in your corner before a crisis develops;why recovery often happens slowly rather than through one decisive moment;two practical exercises for regaining perspective: the circles of concern and influence, and keeping a daily record of small but meaningful wins.Ian now draws on his experience in his work with entrepreneurs and business leaders, helping them anticipate pressure, build their capacity and feel less alone.  Find out more about Ian at www.kinnery.co.uk.

    When You Feel Trapped and Can’t See a Way Forward, with Ian Kinnery

  8. Aug 6

    Why Didn't Success Make Me Happy? with Lewis Hackney

    Everything looked successful from the outside. A thriving business. A modern apartment. A career many people would envy. Yet behind closed doors, Lewis Hackney found himself standing on a balcony, overwhelmed by the urge to jump.  In this deeply honest conversation, Lewis shares the story behind that moment, what led him there, and why so many men silently find themselves questioning their purpose long before anyone else notices something is wrong.  Today, Lewis has transformed those experiences into a mission to help other men. He is the founder and host of the True Man Podcast, where he speaks with experts and everyday men about masculinity, mental health, purpose and practical ways to navigate life's challenges. As part of his own journey, he also set himself the extraordinary challenge of running 12 km every day for an entire year - a symbolic distance representing the number of men who die by suicide every day in the UK.   This isn't simply a conversation about mental health. It's about burnout, identity, success, modern masculinity and the quiet pressure many men carry every day. Lewis explains why the life we think we're supposed to build doesn't always bring fulfilment, how chasing someone else's definition of success can leave us feeling empty, and why recovery often begins with the smallest possible step rather than a dramatic life change.  Together we explore the expectations placed on men today, the growing pressures of modern masculinity, loneliness, resilience and Lewis' "Level Zero" approach - an accessible way of rebuilding when life feels overwhelming.  If you've ever felt disconnected from yourself, struggled after a setback, or wondered why success hasn't brought the happiness you expected, this conversation will feel painfully familiar.  It's a raw, honest and ultimately hopeful episode. A reminder that life doesn't become perfect but with the right tools, the right people and small consistent steps, it can become meaningful again.  If you'd like to find out more about Lewis, visit his website https://lewis.hackney.co/ and his podcast The Truuman Podcast can be found on all podcast channels and YouTube.

    Why Didn't Success Make Me Happy? with Lewis Hackney
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4.3
out of 5
11 Ratings

About

Have you ever felt like you’ve become lost in your own life? Many men struggle to talk about their problems and mental health and grew up believing that to do can be perceived as a sign of weakness or failure. There is also a lack of open discussion in society around men’s mental health, especially aimed at mid-life men.  As a result, at times many men can feel alone and lost in their own lives. In this podcast series, I talk to mid-life men about their stories; the challenges, the turning points, and the support received to help them find their way so that others who may be suffering in silence or don’t know what to do next, realise that they are not alone and there is help available. Stories will cover a whole range of challenges faced by mid-life men mainly relating to the causes of mental health issues including feelings of isolation, depression, job dissatisfaction, addiction, PTSD, and long-term illness.The podcast is NOT a replacement for professional support and we signpost to organisations and their contact details by episode. If you have a story you would like to share or any feedback on the podcasts, please email me: midlifemen01@gmail.com.

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