Durable Dad with Tommy Geary

Tommy Geary
  • 5.0 (34)
  • Mental Health
  • Updated Weekly

The Durable Dad podcast gives men the skills and tools they need to be rock solid for their family, their work and their community.

  1. 3d ago

    120: The Inside Game Of Parenting

    Most dads don’t lose it because the situation is too big. They lose it because something inside them takes over before they can choose how to respond. In this episode, Tommy breaks down the inside game of parenting: the thoughts, fears, and pressure that show up when your kid is upset, disrespectful, disappointed, or struggling. Wanting your kids to be happy, respectful, successful, and tough is not the problem. The problem is when those desires turn every hard moment into a test you feel like you have to control. Highlights: • Why your kid’s mistakes can feel like a problem to solve • How good intentions can turn into pressure, anger, and overreaction • What is often sitting underneath a dad’s anger • Why small parenting moments can start to feel like big future warnings • How to stay steady without giving in or coming in hot • Why your emotional capacity has to come before your kid’s emotional capacity Practical takeaways: • Pause before you fix, correct, or lecture. • Look for the fear underneath your anger before you act. • Let your kid feel disappointment without making it your job to erase it. The next time your kid sets you off, start with what is happening inside you. Get steady first. Then handle the kid in front of you. If this episode helped you think differently, share it with another guy who’d benefit from the conversation. And if you haven’t already, follow the podcast so these episodes stay in your rotation. Just click follow or subscribe right now!

    16 min

  2. May 19

    119: The Fight Beneath the Fight: Attachment Styles with Craig Spear

    Craig Spear is an entrepreneur, outdoorsman, and co-leader of the adventure trips Tommy runs for men focused on growth, resilience, and deeper connection in their lives.  Find Craig at https://www.thespearmethod.com/ or on LinkedIn at https://www.linkedin.com/in/craigspear/ SHOW NOTES: The fight isn't about how to pack a dishwasher.  It’s usually deeper than the comment, the tone, the silence, or the passive-aggressive jab. In a warped way we fight and pull away because we desire connection and being understood.  In this episode, Tommy and Craig Spear unpack attachment styles and how they quietly shape the way we handle conflict with our wives, business partners, and the people closest to us. They break down the anxious vs. avoidant dynamic, why certain arguments repeat for years, and how men can move toward more secure relationships without turning psychology into an excuse. Highlights: • What attachment styles actually are and where they come from • Why anxious men rush to fix conflict immediately • Why avoidant men shut down and pull away • The “cat and mouse” cycle that keeps couples stuck • Real-life examples from marriage, business, and friendships • Scripts to help de-escalate conflict without avoiding it • The difference between explaining your behavior and weaponizing it Practical takeaways: • Notice your default reaction when someone close to you seems upset • If you lean anxious, practice tolerating space without spiraling • If you lean avoidant, communicate when you’ll come back to the conversation — then actually come back Conflict doesn’t have to become distance. The goal isn’t to avoid hard moments — it’s to stop repeating the same fight in different forms.  If this episode helped you think differently, share it with another guy who’d benefit from the conversation. And if you haven’t already, follow the podcast so these episodes stay in your rotation. Just click follow or subscribe right now!

    30 min

  3. May 5

    118: You’re Busy, But Not Getting Anywhere

    You’re putting in the work—but without a clear direction, it starts to feel like you’re maintaining instead of building.  Why most men default into “protection mode” after early wins  How success can still feel off day-to-day  The difference between a vague desire and a real vision  A simple way to build a five-year picture that drives action  How one client shifted from burnout at home to being present with his family  Why your family needs a vision just as much as your work  The small daily decisions that change once the vision is clear Practical takeaways:  Define a five-year vision starting with specifics: your kids’ ages, daily rhythm, and home environment  Pressure-test your current path with a 10-year lens—where does it actually lead?  Align with your wife and build a shared vision you’re both moving toward If your life feels full but not focused, take an hour this week and define what you’re actually building. If this episode helped you think differently, share it with another guy who’d benefit from the conversation. And if you haven’t already, follow the podcast so these episodes stay in your rotation. Just click follow or subscribe right now!

    17 min

  4. Apr 21

    117: Don’t Take It Personally. They Are Just Words.

    You’re not reacting to what was said—you’re reacting to what you made it mean.  As a father and husband, that story gets built fast—and it usually sounds like disrespect, doubt, or being challenged. By the time you respond, you’re already inside your own version of the story. Highlights:  How a simple conversation about an injury turned into tension, and what actually caused it  The gap between words spoken and the story you assign underneath them  Why being right in an argument still leads to a bad outcome  The physical cues of defensiveness most men miss—and how to catch them  Rewinding the “game tape” to break patterns outside the moment  A simple shift: from proving your point to understanding the other person Takeaways:  When you feel defensive, pause and ask: what am I making this mean?  Separate the words from the story—respond to what was said, not your interpretation  Build awareness outside the moment so you can show up differently inside it Pay attention to the next moment you feel the need to defend yourself. That’s your opening to handle it better. If this episode helped you think differently, share it with another guy who’d benefit from the conversation. And if you haven’t already, follow the podcast so these episodes stay in your rotation. Just click follow or subscribe right now!

    14 min

  5. Apr 7

    116: Stop Trying to Prove Yourself - Be a Leader

    Most men build their value by being the guy who gets it done—until that same pattern starts costing them at home.  Snapping at your family isn’t about them—it’s accumulated overload  Why modern work trains you to be reactive (and rewards it)  The producer trap: fast responses, full plate, constant proof of value  How being a producer quietly follows you home—and drains what your family gets  The leader shift: pause, filter, and decide what actually matters  Why leaders subtract, delegate, and protect their time instead of stacking more  Letting go of the need to prove yourself in every room Practical takeaways:  Before saying yes, pause and ask: does this actually matter right now?  Delay responses that don’t require immediacy—create space to think  Cut or delegate one task this week that doesn’t move the needle If you keep operating like a producer, you’ll stay busy—but you’ll miss what actually matters. Start leading your time, your work, and your energy where it counts. If this episode helped you think differently, share it with another guy who’d benefit from the conversation. And if you haven’t already, follow the podcast so these episodes stay in your rotation. Just click follow or subscribe right now!

    9 min

  6. Mar 24

    115: The Impact You’re Making Right Now

    The man you are today is already making an impact. You do not need a new title, a new goal, or a major life change to affect the people around you. The question is whether your presence is building people up, weighing them down, or leaving them cold. Today we make the case that self-improvement is not the destination. It is the training ground for showing up with more strength, clarity, and usefulness in the lives that matter most. Highlights: Why self-improvement is training, not the missionThe story of Tommy’s uncle and the lasting impact he had on studentsHow overwork and exhaustion change the way a man shows up at homeWhy discipline and resilience should lead to contribution, not self-focusReal examples of men creating ripple effects in their families and communitiesHow better habits can turn into better leadership, presence, and servicePractical takeaways: Take an honest look at the effect you’re having on the people around you right nowBuild yourself with a purpose so your growth turns into serviceChange one habit that will help you show up better at home, at work, or in your communityThe man you are becoming matters because of what it gives other people. Get stronger. Get more disciplined. Get healthier. Then put it to work where it counts. If this episode helped you think differently, share it with another guy who’d benefit from the conversation. And if you haven’t already, follow the podcast so these episodes stay in your rotation. Just click follow or subscribe right now!

    8 min

  7. Mar 10

    114: Don't Let the Week Define You

    A hard week doesn’t mean you’re slipping — unless you decide it does. In this episode, we break down how men quietly tie their identity to their results — revenue, workouts, the scale, even the mood of the house — and how that habit creates an unstable confidence that rises and falls with circumstances. Highlights: How we turn normal setbacks into identity statementsThe hidden cost of saying, “I’m restarting”A real coaching example of separating facts from storyWhy identity drives behavior more than goals doThe difference between pushing harder and taking the next steady stepPerformance as feedback — not a verdictPractical Takeaways: When you catch yourself spiraling, ask: What are the facts, and what’s the story I’m adding?Look for evidence of progress, especially in small moments at home.Choose the identity that moves you forward, then take the next simple step.The outside world gives you data. It doesn’t get to decide who you are. This is the work — staying steady when the week isn’t perfect. __________________________ The Durable Dad Podcast is for high-achieving men who are winning in business but want more steadiness at home. Episodes run 12–20 minutes — focused and practical, with no filler. Topics include emotional regulation in marriage, identity distortion, stoic integrity, conflict navigation, fatherhood presence, and leadership under pressure. The throughline: helping capable men remove distortion in how they see themselves, interpret their circumstances, and respond at home. Not therapy. Not motivation. A thinking tool for men who are already capable and want to stay sharp — as husbands, fathers, and leaders. Hosted by Tommy G — men's performance coach, speaker, and adventure trip leader. If this episode helped you think differently, share it with another guy who’d benefit from the conversation. And if you haven’t already, follow the podcast so these episodes stay in your rotation. Just click follow or subscribe right now!

    9 min

  8. Feb 24

    113: Building Steady Confidence With Stoic Integrity

    What does it actually mean to live a virtuous life? Not theory or philosophy quotes on Instagram, but in real life. In this episode, we break down the Stoic principle of virtue and how it applies to your training, your leadership, your marriage, and your fatherhood. Stoic philosophy isn’t abstract—it’s practical. It’s about building self-discipline, emotional control, courage, and patience in normal, everyday moments. Most high-achieving men have the ambition, but struggle with consistency. Dialed in for a week. Then off track. Calm at work. Reactive at home. Focused in the gym. Scrolling at night. That swing kills confidence. Stoic integrity is different. It’s steady. It’s proving who you are through daily behavior. Highlights: Why men live on emotional highs and lows—and how that erodes self-trustThe difference between short bursts of intensity and long-term integrityHow consistency (like quitting alcohol for 18 months) builds real confidenceThe four Stoic virtues—courage, discipline, justice, patience—and how they show up in modern lifeWhy missing once is normal, but repeating the miss creates driftHow quick recovery strengthens characterPractical Takeaways: Choose one area where your behavior doesn’t match the man you want to be—fitness, leadership, marriage, fatherhood.Identify the virtue required (courage, discipline, patience, self-awareness). Practice that trait deliberately.When you slip, recover fast. Don’t spiral. Prove it again the next day.Marcus Aurelius wrote, “Waste no more time arguing what a good man should be. Be one.” Stoic integrity isn’t about being perfect. It’s about being consistent. When your actions match your standards, you build a steady confidence your family can feel. If this episode helped you think differently, share it with another guy who’d benefit from the conversation. And if you haven’t already, follow the podcast so these episodes stay in your rotation. Just click follow or subscribe right now!

    14 min
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5
out of 5
34 Ratings

About

The Durable Dad podcast gives men the skills and tools they need to be rock solid for their family, their work and their community.

Information

  • Creator
    Tommy Geary
  • Years Active
    2023 - 2026
  • Episodes
    121
  • Rating
    Explicit
  • Copyright
    © 2026 Durable Dad with Tommy Geary
  • Show Website
    Durable Dad with Tommy Geary

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