The Unapologaytic Podcast

Pierre Monnerville
  • 5.0 (1)
  • Mental Health
  • Updated Biweekly

Where GBTQ men share their experience of the shame of feeling different while growing up and more importantly overcoming it. The Unapologaytic Podcast also explores gay culture and aims to build bridges with other communities.

  1. Apr 30

    Awakening: Realising I Was Gay as a Young Lad | Lloyd

    Lloyd reflects on three childhood moments that helped him recognise something “unique” about himself before he understood sexuality or labels. He recalls being around seven to nine years old when he tried to give a treasured yellow toy tractor to a boy visiting his family home, seeking validation, and then snapping it in anger when adults stopped him, leaving him with disappointment and a broken toy. He explains how that experience shaped the way he later interacted in primary school, especially during playground games like “Kiss Chase,” where he found himself chasing and wrestling with boys. He also remembers an encounter behind the bike shed where he and another boy embraced, pressed against each other while clothed, shared a kiss, and then ran off laughing. 00:00 Childhood Reflection Begins 00:57 The Yellow Tractor Gift 02:00 Rage and First Attraction 03:37 Living Beyond Labels 04:33 Playground Kiss Chase Clues 06:24 Behind the Bike Shed Moment 07:37 Three Moments Summed Up 07:57 Closing Thanks The Moment I Knew is an intimate storytelling project capturing the pivotal moments of queer self-discovery. Through anonymous audio recordings, we're creating a tapestry of diverse experiences that highlight both our shared journeys and unique paths to authenticity. Each contributor shares their personal story with only audio being recorded. Stories are presented with just a first name (which can be a pseudonym) and the age when the realisation occurred. This collection celebrates the beautiful complexity of queer awakening, from childhood certainties to late-in-life revelations, from moments of clarity to gradual understandings. By sharing these stories, we create connection, validation and visibility for experiences that too often remain private. Ready to contribute your story? Book a slot on https://unapologaytic.com/pages/the-moment-i-knew. You'll have the opportunity to review your finished recording before it's published, ensuring you feel completely comfortable with your contribution.

    8 min

  2. Apr 15

    Gosh… Who Am I When I’m Just Me? | Ace, 27 | The Moment I Knew

    Ace on Discovering Asexuality and Exploring Trans Identity During Lockdown Ace describes realising they were asexual at 26 after searching online for why they did not like or enjoy sex and finding the term “asexual,” which brought relief and fear while they were in a long-term relationship. They told their partner, who was supportive and happy to continue the relationship, and they remain together more than 10 years on. Ace then recounts how the 2020 lockdown prompted deeper self-reflection about gender, including discomfort as their hair grew and the realisation that thoughts they assumed were universal might not be. A social media comment and watching the Netflix documentary “Disclosure” helped Ace consider that being trans fit their experience, and lockdown gave them space to experiment with presentation and pronouns, supported by friends as they began to come out. 00:00 Discovering Asexuality 01:11 Fear and Relationship Talk 02:13 Partner Support and Acceptance 03:01 Lockdown Identity Questions 04:36 The Trans Realisation Trigger 05:51 Exploring Gender in Private 06:29 Coming Out and New Pronouns 06:57 Second Moment Reflection

    7 min
  3. From Heteronormative Fantasies to Owning Being Gay | Joel, The Moment I Knew

    Mar 12

    From Heteronormative Fantasies to Owning Being Gay | Joel, The Moment I Knew

    Joel’s story reminds us that “the moment” isn’t always a single penny-drop. Sometimes it’s a series of ‘small’ realisations that build over time. In this episode of The Moment I Knew, Joel shares how growing up in a religious, heteronormative environment shaped the way he understood (and misunderstood) his attraction to men. He talks about early crushes at secondary school, how leaving for college opened up new possibilities, and the late-night encounter in 1996 that became a catalyst for physically acknowledging his sexuality. From there, Joel reflects on the fear of being outed, coming out to friends, and later telling his family — including his mum’s emotional reaction and the lingering impact of internalised homophobia. He also speaks powerfully about identity beyond sexuality, and why being Black in the UK felt like an even bigger hurdle — and how finding “outliers” and chosen family in London helped him move towards self-acceptance. If you’d like to share your own story for The Moment I Knew, you can book a 15-minute slot (audio-only, fully anonymous). You’re welcome to use a pseudonym if that’s what you prefer. You can also review the final edit before anything is published. Book here: https://unapologaytic.com/pages/the-moment-i-knew

    7 min
  4. Maria, 23 | The Moment I Knew

    11/12/2025

    Maria, 23 | The Moment I Knew

    Maria's Journey to Discovering Her Sexuality in the 80s Club Scene Maria shares her personal journey of discovering her sexuality during her early twenties. She recalls her experiences frequenting rock and gay clubs in the 80s, developing crushes on drag queens, and experiencing an epiphany about her attraction to women. Maria talks about her relationships, including falling in love with a beautiful trans woman and her first few girlfriends. She candidly describes coming out to her mother and the unexpected and humorous support she received. This heartfelt story highlights the challenges and revelations of understanding one's sexual identity. Please like and share with your friends. The Moment I Knew podcast mini series aims to share the moment we discovered our own queerness. The goal is to create an ever growing patchwork of experiences. Each episode explores those profound "I knew" moments that shape LGBTQ+ identity with authentic, vulnerable storytelling that celebrates the beauty of self-recognition without shame. If you’d like to share your own story, book a slot on https://unapologaytic.com/pages/the-moment-i-knew 🏳️‍🌈 ❤️ 🏳️‍⚧️ ➜ FOLLOW : 📸 Instagram - https://instagram.com/unapologaytic 📸 Instagram - https://instagram.com/photo.monnerville ➜ CHECK OUT: 🌈 Unapologaytic: https://unapologaytic.com 📸  https://photo-monnerville.com

    3 min
  5. Ocean, 9 | The Moment I Knew

    11/12/2025

    Ocean, 9 | The Moment I Knew

    Ocean shares their personal journey of self-discovery, recounting experiences from primary school to adulthood. They discuss realising their sexuality at a young age, identifying as bisexual during secondary school, and later understanding their gender identity as non-binary or gender non-conforming. Ocean reflects on the fluid nature of their identity, acknowledging ongoing changes and periods of uncertainty. Please like and share with your friends. The Moment I Knew podcast mini series aims to share the moment we discovered our own queerness. The goal is to create an ever growing patchwork of experiences. Each episode explores those profound "I knew" moments that shape LGBTQ+ identity with authentic, vulnerable storytelling that celebrates the beauty of self-recognition without shame. If you’d like to share your own story, book a slot on https://unapologaytic.com/pages/the-moment-i-knew 🏳️‍🌈 ❤️ 🏳️‍⚧️ ➜ FOLLOW : 📸 Instagram - https://instagram.com/unapologaytic 📸 Instagram - https://instagram.com/photo.monnerville ➜ CHECK OUT: 🌈 Unapologaytic: https://unapologaytic.com 📸  https://photo-monnerville.com

    1 min
  6. T.J., 7 | The Moment I Knew

    11/12/2025

    T.J., 7 | The Moment I Knew

    T.J.'s Childhood: The Peach Ball Gown and Dreams of Royalty T.J. recalls attending a play centre as a child and cherishing a peach-coloured ball gown. The gown was significant to T.J., who would become upset if someone else was wearing it upon arrival. Wearing the gown made T.J. feel like the Queen of the world, always dreaming of being a cute damsel waiting for a prince - a dream that eventually came true. Please like and share with your friends. The Moment I Knew podcast mini series aims to share the moment we discovered our own queerness. The goal is to create an ever growing patchwork of experiences. Each episode explores those profound "I knew" moments that shape LGBTQ+ identity with authentic, vulnerable storytelling that celebrates the beauty of self-recognition without shame. If you’d like to share your own story, book a slot on https://unapologaytic.com/pages/the-moment-i-knew 🏳️‍🌈 ❤️ 🏳️‍⚧️ ➜ FOLLOW : 📸 Instagram - https://instagram.com/unapologaytic 📸 Instagram - https://instagram.com/photo.monnerville ➜ CHECK OUT: 🌈 Unapologaytic: https://unapologaytic.com 📸  https://photo-monnerville.com

    1 min
  7. The Moment I Knew | Pierre, 7

    11/12/2025

    The Moment I Knew | Pierre, 7

    Pierre's Childhood Moment of Self-Discovery In this first episode of The Moment I Knew miniseries, Pierre shares a childhood memory from when he was seven years old in Martinique. During a family trip to the beach, he noticed a man on a ferry and felt a sense of connection. This early experience, free of shame or judgment, played a big role in Pierre's later realisation of his sexuality. Please like and share with your friends. The Moment I Knew podcast mini series aims to share the moment we discovered our own queerness. The goal is to create an ever growing patchwork of experiences. Each episode explores those profound "I knew" moments that shape LGBTQ+ identity with authentic, vulnerable storytelling that celebrates the beauty of self-recognition without shame. If you’d like to share your own story, book a slot on https://unapologaytic.com/pages/the-moment-i-knew 🏳️‍🌈 ❤️ 🏳️‍⚧️ ➜ FOLLOW Unapologaytic: 🌈 Unapologaytic: https://unapologaytic.com ➜ FOLLOW Pierre: 📸  https://photo-monnerville.com

    2 min
  8. Unpacking Queer Masculinity and Mental Health with Rahim Thawer

    04/25/2025

    Unpacking Queer Masculinity and Mental Health with Rahim Thawer

    In this episode of the Unapologaytic podcast, host Pierre speaks with Rahim Thawer, author of The Mental Health Guide for Cis and Trans Queer Guys. They delve into the complex dynamics of masculinity, body image, and internalized homophobia within the queer male community. The discussion covers the challenges faced in maintaining social status, navigating mental health struggles, and the importance of cognitive behavioral therapy (CBT). Rahim shares insights from his book, focusing on how queer men can address disenfranchised grief and internalized shame.  They also explore the intersection of race, culture, and class, and how these factors impact mental health and community belonging. Rahim discusses the significance of community support and the need for culturally competent healthcare.  The episode concludes with practical strategies for self-help and mental well-being. The Mental Health Guide for Cis and Trans Queer Guys will be released on 1st June 25. https://amzn.eu/d/4upTBrW 00:00 The Unapologaytic Podcast: Rahim Thawer Redefining Queer Wellness: Beyond Traditional Narratives  01:02 Introduction and Welcome  01:17 Meet Rahim Thawar  01:31 Cultural Differences and Eccentricities  01:31 Rahim's Background and Work  03:43 Navigating Identity and Hierarchies  05:40 Intersectionality and Privilege  14:01 Disenfranchised Grief  17:51 Global Perspectives on Identity  22:34 Exploring Social Hierarchies and Mental Health  23:26 Strategies to Overcome internalised Shame  25:25 Personal Experiences and Self-Perception  26:15 Building Inclusive Communities  27:21 Navigating Family and Cultural Conversations 2 8:21 Intersectionality and Disenfranchised Grief  31:27 Cognitive behavioural Therapy Techniques  39:02 Addressing Health and Aging in the LGBTQ Community  44:31 Conclusion and Final Thoughts Please like, comment and share with your friends. 🏳️‍🌈 ❤️ 🏳️‍⚧️ ➜ Follow Rahim: http://ladyativan.com/ ➜ Follow Pierre & Unapologaytic: 🌈 Unapologaytic: https://unapologaytic.com 📸  https://photo-monnerville.com 👋🏾  About The Unapologaytic Podcast Hi I’m Pierre. I’m the founder of the ethical gay brand Unapologaytic as well as a male form photographer. I want to use this podcast to explore LGBTQ+ culture and use this platform to share our stories, struggles and breakthroughs. No matter who we are we’ve all got something to share and learn from each other. 🎶 Music from Uppbeat - https://uppbeat.io/t/mood-maze/take-u-higher  License code: UDYUZW8IQU0IERDS

    46 min
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About

Where GBTQ men share their experience of the shame of feeling different while growing up and more importantly overcoming it. The Unapologaytic Podcast also explores gay culture and aims to build bridges with other communities.

Information

  • Creator
    Pierre Monnerville
  • Years Active
    2023 - 2026
  • Episodes
    25
  • Rating
    Explicit
  • Copyright
    © Pierre Monnerville
  • Show Website
    The Unapologaytic Podcast