Manifestelle

Elle Ray

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  1. 12/05/2025

    "proposing to my bf after 14 years and 4 kids"

    Anti Anti Intellectualism Club Hoodie - https://bit.ly/48B6Qo6 Become a Paid Subscriber and get Uninterrupted Episodes: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/manifestelle/subscribe Full show notes, sources, and transcript + exclusive content 💌: https://manifestelle.substack.com Follow me on IG and Tiktok: manifestelle In this episode, we will cover the viral Tiktok series of a woman proposing to her boyfriend after 14 years and 4 children together. We will explore why women proposing to men feels fundamentally wrong to so many and why that feeling is valid. Drawing on sociology, personal anecdotes, and research on domestic labor and maternal mortality, we argue that women's intuition doesn't need to be intellectualized to be legitimate. We examine how the "we're equal now" narrative erases the reality that women still shoulder the majority of domestic and caregiving work in heterosexual marriages, and how pregnancy and childbirth carry real, measurable risks. At its core, we frame a man's proposal not as outdated tradition, but as a crucial test of his readiness and willingness to show up in a partnership where women are already carrying so much. keywords: women proposing to men, gender roles in relationships, marriage proposals and equality, female intuition and women's instinct validation, the sociology of marriage proposals, domestic labor, Pierre Bourdieu habitus theory, finding your soul before your soulmate, viral TikTok proposal Substack articles mentioned: “The Sociology of Begging Someone to Marry You” - https://tellthebeees.substack.com/p/the-sociology-of-begging-someone “find your soul before your soulmate” - https://hasifff.substack.com/p/find-your-soul-before-your-soulmate

    19 min
  2. 11/21/2025

    Nobody is Hitting the Wall - the biological clock myth

    Show your nails some love with https://iloveislashop.com Use code FALL10 to get 10% off your first order. Become a Paid Subscriber and get Uninterrupted Episodes: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/manifestelle/subscribe Full show notes, sources, and transcript + exclusive content 💌: https://manifestelle.substack.com Follow me on IG and Tiktok: manifestelle In this episode we dismantle the myth of the "biological clock" and challenges the deeply gendered discourse around fertility and aging.We explore how the concept was weaponized against women beginning in the 1980s as they entered the workforce in greater numbers, and reveal that men also have a biological clock—something rarely discussed in mainstream conversations. We also talk about the troubling rise of terms like "hitting the wall"—originally fringe misogynistic slang, now normalized in everyday discourse—and argues that reducing anyone to their reproductive capacity is dehumanizing. Ultimately, Elle calls for better research, less shame, and a rejection of value systems that equate human worth with fertility, reminding listeners that biology just is—it doesn't define our value. keywords: biological clock myth, women's fertility and age, men's biological clock, paternal age effects, advanced maternal age, hitting the wall debunked, sperm quality decline with age, male fertility research, DNA fragmentation in older fathers, selfish sperm hypothesis, reproductive aging in men and women, geriatric pregnancy facts, feminist critique of biological clock, patriarchal control of women's bodies, age-related infertility causes, misogyny and fertility discourse, women's value beyond reproduction, egg reserve and ovarian aging, menopause and perimenopause care, advanced paternal age risks, pregnancy complications older fathers, autism and paternal age, chromosomal abnormalities aging eggs, male factor infertility statistics, TikTok biological clock discourse

    24 min
  3. 11/21/2025

    addressing the soft life controversy - the gender sleep gap

    Show your nails some love with https://iloveislashop.com Use code FALL10 to get 10% off your first order. Become a Paid Subscriber and get Uninterrupted Episodes: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/manifestelle/subscribe Full show notes, sources, and transcript + exclusive content 💌: https://manifestelle.substack.com Follow me on IG and Tiktok: manifestelle In this episode, Elle explores the gender sleep gap and its connection to the viral soft life trend. She examines how women experience poorer sleep quality and more insomnia symptoms than men due to both biological factors and social pressures, particularly the unequal burden of unpaid domestic labor. Elle traces the origins of the soft life movement. While the trend originally centered on women recognizing their inherent worth beyond productivity, Elle critiques how it has been aestheticized and co-opted into problematic narratives about dependence and economic insecurity. Ultimately, she argues for reclaiming the soft life's original meaning—that women deserve rest, comfort, and safety without earning it through exhaustion—and encourages listeners to resist the sinister pipelines that distort women-created concepts into tools that strip away their agency. keywords: gender sleep gap, soft life controversy, women's sleep quality, insomnia in women, unpaid domestic labor gender gap, mental load women, soft life trend origins, gender differences in sleep,TikTok soft life, bed rotting trend, tech neck solutions, work from home wellness, self-care philosophy, rest as resistance, women supporting women

    14 min
  4. 11/11/2025

    the death of boyfriend culture

    Show your nails some love with https://iloveislashop.com Use code FALL10 to get 10% off your first order. Become a Paid Subscriber and get Uninterrupted Episodes: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/manifestelle/subscribe Full show notes, sources, and transcript + exclusive content 💌: https://manifestelle.substack.com Follow me on IG and Tiktok: manifestelle In this episode, Elle explores the viral British Vogue question "Is Having a Boyfriend Embarrassing Now?" and traces how we went from peak boyfriend culture—when relationships were social currency and partners were posted constantly—to today's "boyfriend denial" era. She examines the shift from hard-launching relationships on Facebook in 2011 to soft-launching in 2021, and now to hiding partners entirely. Elle discusses three key reasons why women have become "bearish on boyfriends": fear of appearing male-centered, belief in the "evil eye," and viewing relationships as potential "humiliation rituals" in an era of heteropessimism. However, she argues that while boyfriend culture may be declining, we're now seeing a surge in "husband culture," with women increasingly bullish on marriage and commitment. Ultimately, Elle reminds us that decentering men doesn't mean denying ourselves love—it means refusing to let romantic partnerships become the only story worth telling about who we are.Substack articles mentioned:""my bf said he'll get me [something expensive] if this post gets [an insane amount of] views" by Elle Ray - https://manifestelle.substack.com/p/my-bf-said-hell-get-me-something"Pop Enters Its Wife Era" by Catherine Shannon - https://catherineshannon.substack.com/p/pop-enters-its-wife-eraKeywords:boyfriend culture, end of boyfriend culture, is having a boyfriend embarrassing, British Vogue boyfriend article, hiding boyfriends online, soft launching relationships, relationship social media trends, decentering men, male-centered relationships, boyfriend denial culture, heteropessimism, relationship humiliation rituals, evil eye relationships, posting boyfriends on social media, girlfriend culture 2025, wife era trend, husband culture, relationship goals social media, boyfriend fashion trend, boyfriend jeans cultural meaning, social capital relationships, patriarchal bargains relationships, women's worth and relationships, Instagram boyfriend posts, fear of being male-centered, relationship content creators, protecting relationships from evil eye, Lana Del Rey husband of mine, Raye where is my husband, pop music wife era, situationship culture

    21 min
  5. 11/01/2025

    the dark legacy of witch hunts + our bright future

    Show your nails some love with https://iloveislashop.com Use code FALL10 to get 10% off your first order. Become a Paid Subscriber and get Uninterrupted Episodes: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/manifestelle/subscribe Full show notes, sources, and transcript + exclusive content 💌: https://manifestelle.substack.com Follow me on IG and Tiktok: manifestelle In this episode, Elle explores the dark legacy of witch hunts and how they continue to shape modern attitudes toward women. Drawing on Mona Chollet's In Defense of Witches, she examines four archetypes that were targeted during the Renaissance witch persecutions and remain under scrutiny today: the independent woman who lives outside male authority, the childless woman who refuses reproduction, the aging woman whose wisdom threatens social order, and the woman of knowledge whose expertise challenges established power. Elle traces how these historical persecutions established cultural scripts that still operate through stigma, invisibility, and medical dismissal rather than literal flames. She argues that reclaiming what was once feared in women—independence, wisdom, age, and autonomy—is essential to breaking free from internalized witch-hunt thinking and turning individual liberation into collective power. keywords: witch hunts history, Renaissance witch trials, women's independence stigma, childless women stigma, single women discrimination, aging women society, ageism against women, female healers history, midwives witch trials, women's knowledge persecution, Mona Chollet In Defense of Witches, women's autonomy, patriarchal control women, feminist history, women's reproductive rights history, maternal mortality crisis, wellness industry women, independent women cultural narratives, witch archetype feminism, female empowerment historical context, gendered ageism, women's healthcare disparities, historical persecution women, modern witch hunts legacy, women's bodily autonomy, feminism and witchcraft, reclaiming witch identity, women's collective power.

    25 min
4.9
out of 5
101 Ratings

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