Not So Dumb Blonde

Kaytlyn Gilner
  • 5.0 (4)
  • Mental Health
  • Updated Weekly

Not So Dumb Blonde is a women’s mental health podcast hosted by Kaytlyn, an MSW student and mental health advocate passionate about trauma healing, emotional regulation, DBT, relationships, attachment styles, and women’s empowerment. This podcast explores the real psychology behind anxiety, BPD, people pleasing, trauma responses, emotional dysregulation, self-worth, boundaries, family systems, and modern relationships — in a relatable, honest, and easy-to-understand way. Episodes include conversations with therapists, mental health professionals, trauma survivors, authors, and experts, along

  1. 3d ago

    Why You Can’t Trust Relationship Advice Online (Therapist Explains)

    Why You Can’t Trust Relationship Advice Online (Therapist Explains) Is social media helping or hurting your relationships? With endless videos about narcissists, attachment styles, red flags, trauma bonds, gaslighting, and boundaries, it can be difficult to know what advice is actually evidence-based.In this episode of Not So Dumb Blonde, I sit down with licensed clinical social worker Rebecca Ogle, LCSW, to discuss how TikTok, Instagram, and relationship influencers are changing the way we think about dating, mental health, and healing. We explore why relationship advice online often lacks nuance, how algorithms reward extreme opinions, and how to build self-trust instead of relying on social media for every relationship decision. If you've ever wondered whether someone is actually a narcissist, questioned whether you're ignoring red flags, or felt more anxious after watching relationship content online, this conversation will help you separate psychology from social media. In this episode, we discuss: ✔️ How social media algorithms influence relationship advice ✔️ Why terms like narcissist, gaslighting, and toxic are often overused ✔️ The difference between genuine relationship red flags and normal conflict ✔️ Why healthy relationships require flexibility instead of perfection ✔️ Attachment styles and how they affect dating ✔️ How therapy helps build self-trust in relationships ✔️ Why black-and-white thinking can damage relationships ✔️ How ADHD can affect consuming relationship content online ✔️ Evidence-based relationship advice versus viral misinformation Whether you're healing from a toxic relationship, learning healthier relationship patterns, or simply trying to make sense of all the advice on social media, this episode offers practical, balanced guidance grounded in real clinical experience. About Rebecca Ogle Rebecca Ogle is a licensed clinical social worker specializing in mental health, relationships, anxiety, ADHD, boundaries, emotional regulation, and evidence-based therapy. In this interview, she shares practical insights for navigating modern dating while protecting your mental health. Resources🌐 Grounded Counselinghttps://www.groundedcounseling.org📷 Rebecca Ogle on Instagram@rebeccaoglelcsw If you're interested in:• CPTSD recovery• Trauma healing• Healthy relationships• Attachment styles• Borderline Personality Disorder (BPD)• Anxiety recovery• DBT skills• Mental health education• Narcissistic abuse recovery• Self-trust and emotional healingbe sure to subscribe for weekly interviews with therapists, researchers, psychologists, and mental health experts. Chapters 00:00 Introduction | Social Media, Relationships & Mental Health 01:39 Is Social Media Ruining Our Relationships? 03:10 Why Relationship Content Goes Viral on TikTok & Instagram 04:20 Narcissist, Gaslighting & Toxic: Are We Overusing These Terms? 07:59 Black-and-White Thinking in Dating & Relationships 09:55 Why Relationship Advice Isn't One-Size-Fits-All 12:34 Real Relationship Red Flags vs Normal Relationship Conflict 14:34 How to Identify Healthy vs Unhealthy Relationship Patterns 17:08 DBT Opposite Action: Stop Letting Anxiety Control Dating 18:36 What Actually Makes a Healthy Relationship? 19:32 How to Watch Relationship Content Without Becoming Anxious 22:51 ADHD, Social Media & Relationship Anxiety 23:49 Relationship Advice & Final Thoughts social media relationships, relationship advice, healthy relationships, dating advice, narcissism, narcissistic abuse, gaslighting, attachment styles, relationship red flags, trauma, CPTSD, therapy, licensed therapist, mental health podcast, boundaries, emotional regulation, relationship anxiety, psychology, TikTok therapy, relationship TikTok, evidence-based therapy, DBT, ADHD relationships, self-trust, healing trauma

  2. 5d ago

    Limerence vs Love: Why You cant Stop Thinking About Them

    Limerence vs Love: Why You cant Stop Thinking About Them #limerence #relationship #toxicrelationships #traumabond #love #psychology #dating Have you ever wondered why you can't stop thinking about someone—even when the relationship was unhealthy? Is it love... or is it limerence? In this episode of Not So Dumb Blonde, therapist-in-training Kaytlyn Gilner explores the psychology of limerence, trauma bonding, attachment styles, and why unresolved childhood trauma can make us vulnerable to obsessive relationships.You'll learn the neuroscience behind romantic obsession, how intermittent reinforcement keeps people emotionally hooked, and why secure love often feels unfamiliar after growing up in chaos. Whether you're struggling to move on from an ex, questioning a trauma bond, healing from childhood trauma, or wondering if you're experiencing limerence, this episode will help you understand what's happening in your brain—and how to begin breaking the cycle. In This Episode ✔️ What limerence actually is (and why it isn't love)✔️ The neuroscience of romantic obsession and dopamine✔️ Why trauma increases vulnerability to limerence✔️ Trauma bonding vs. healthy attachment✔️ How anxious attachment fuels obsessive thinking✔️ Why mixed signals and uncertainty are addictive✔️ The impact of social media on limerence✔️ How childhood trauma affects adult relationships✔️ Why secure love often feels "boring" at first✔️ Practical strategies for healing from obsession and trauma✔️ My personal story of reporting childhood sexual abuse years later✔️ Finding justice, closure, and reclaiming your voice Chapters 00:00 Why Limerence Feels Like an Addiction (The Neuroscience of Obsession) 00:30 What Is Limerence? Signs You're Experiencing Romantic Obsession 01:00 Childhood Trauma, Sexual Abuse, and Why I'm Sharing My Story 02:00 Why Uncertainty Makes You Obsess Over Someone 02:48 Dopamine, Love, and the Brain's Reward System Explained 03:48 How Childhood Trauma & Attachment Styles Increase Limerence 04:18 Limerence vs Love: How to Tell the Difference 05:18 How Social Media Makes Limerence Worse 06:30 Soulmates, Fantasy Bonds & Why They Feel So Real 07:30 How to Stop Obsessing Over Someone (Without Fighting Your Thoughts) 08:00 Why Healthy Relationships Can Feel "Boring" After Trauma 09:00 Reporting Childhood Sexual Abuse Years Later: My Experience 10:50 Healing Childhood Trauma & Breaking Relationship Patterns 11:35 Finding a Childhood Abuser Years Later: Where to Start 12:24 Signs Childhood Trauma Is Still Affecting Your Life 13:43 Trauma Recovery Resources & Support for Survivors 14:46 Why Documenting Abuse Can Help Survivors Seek Justice 16:12 Gathering Evidence After Childhood Sexual Abuse 17:17 Why Documentation Matters When Reporting Abuse 20:34 Healing After Trauma: Final Thoughts & Hope for Recovery Final thoughtsIf This Episode Helped...❤️ Subscribe for weekly episodes about:• Trauma recovery• CPTSD• Borderline Personality Disorder (BPD)• Attachment styles• Anxiety• ADHD• Relationships• DBT skills• Mental health educationResources🧠 Learn more about Dialectical Behavior Therapy (DBT)🧠 Find a trauma-informed therapist🧠 Learn more about limerence and attachment theory🧠 Resources for survivors of childhood sexual abuseConnect With MeInstagram: @itstherapykayPodcast Instagram: @notsodumbblonde_podWebsite: https://www.therapykay.comFree Anxiety or Red Flag? Guide: https://www.therapykay.com/freebieHigh-value YouTube search keywords included naturallylimerencelimerence vs lovewhat is limerenceromantic obsessiontrauma bondingattachment stylesanxious attachmentCPTSDchildhood traumadopamine and loverelationship addictionobsessive thoughtshealing traumahealthy relationshipsinsecure attachmentDBTemotional healingchildhood sexual abusetrauma recovery

  3. Jul 15

    ADHD in Women: Why So Many Women Are Diagnosed Later in Life

    Many women don't discover they have ADHD until adulthood—sometimes not until their 30s, 40s, or even later. In this episode, therapist Kaytlyn Gilner sits down with licensed clinical social worker Rebecca Ogle, LCSW, to discuss why ADHD in women is so frequently overlooked, how symptoms present differently than they do in men, and why many women are first diagnosed after major life changes or hormonal shifts. Together they explore the signs of adult ADHD, the overlap between ADHD, anxiety, depression, and autism, and why emotional dysregulation is one of the most misunderstood aspects of ADHD. Rebecca also explains Rejection Sensitive Dysphoria (RSD), executive functioning challenges, masking, and how ADHD can affect relationships, careers, friendships, and everyday life. Whether you've recently been diagnosed, suspect you may have ADHD, or simply want to better understand neurodivergence, this conversation offers practical insight, validation, and evidence-based education. Why ADHD is often missed in girls and womenCommon ADHD symptoms in adult womenADHD vs. anxiety and depressionThe overlap between ADHD and autismHormones, perimenopause, and worsening ADHD symptomsEmotional dysregulation and executive functioningRejection Sensitive Dysphoria (RSD)ADHD and romantic relationshipsMasking and why women are diagnosed later in lifeWhen to seek an ADHD evaluationChapters 00:00 Why ADHD in Women Is Often Missed02:49 Hidden ADHD Symptoms in Adult Women06:07 ADHD in Women vs. Men08:58 ADHD vs. Anxiety and Depression11:52 ADHD vs. Autism: Similarities and Differences14:59 Hormones, Perimenopause & ADHD18:02 Rejection Sensitive Dysphoria (RSD)21:01 Emotional Dysregulation & ADHD in Relationships24:11 When Should You Get Evaluated for ADHD?27:01 Final Thoughts on ADHD Awareness If you enjoyed this episode, follow Not So Dumb Blonde for conversations about ADHD, trauma, mental health, relationships, DBT, emotional regulation, neurodivergence, and psychology with leading therapists, researchers, and mental health professionals. ADHD in women, adult ADHD, ADHD symptoms, late ADHD diagnosis, women with ADHD, emotional dysregulation, executive dysfunction, rejection sensitive dysphoria, RSD, ADHD and anxiety, ADHD and depression, ADHD and autism, neurodivergence, women's mental health, perimenopause and ADHD, therapy podcast, psychology podcast, mental health podcast.

  4. Jul 13

    How to Fight Right: The DBT Skill That Protects Your Self-Respect

    Have you ever walked away from an argument feeling like you lost a piece of yourself? Maybe you got your point across, maybe the other person apologized, but afterward you felt exhausted, ashamed, or wondered why you overexplained, people-pleased, or abandoned your own needs just to keep the peace. In this episode, we're diving into one of my favorite Dialectical Behavior Therapy (DBT) skills: FAST—an interpersonal effectiveness skill designed to help you protect your self-respect during conflict. You'll learn why healthy relationships aren't about avoiding conflict—they're about handling conflict without sacrificing your values, your voice, or your sense of self. 00:00 How to Stop Losing Yourself During Conflict 01:18 Building Self-Trust with DBT Skills 02:37 Why Trauma Makes Conflict Feel So Difficult 05:06 DBT FAST Skill Explained: Protect Your Self-Respect 07:36 Stop People Pleasing & Self-Abandonment 09:41 How to Respond When Someone Is Dismissive or Pulls Away 10:58 Using the DBT FAST Skill During a Breakup 12:11 Build Self-Trust Through Self-Respect & Healthy Boundaries What the DBT FAST skill is and how it works Why self-abandonment is often more painful than conflict itself How childhood trauma, attachment wounds, and people-pleasing shape the way we communicate The difference between accountability and self-erasure How to stay true to your values during difficult conversations Real-life examples of using FAST when someone dismisses your feelings, pulls away emotionally, or during a breakup Why self-trust is built by consistently choosing self-loyalty instead of self-abandonment If you've ever struggled with people-pleasing, anxious attachment, CPTSD, emotional neglect, boundary-setting, or healthy communication, this episode will give you practical, evidence-based tools you can start using today. This is the fourth and final episode in my Self-Trust Reset series, where we've explored: Wise Mind Why trauma can make intuition feel unreliable How to tell the difference between anxiety and red flags DEAR MAN for asking for what you need FAST for protecting your self-respect during conflict 🎁 Free Resource: Stop Second Guessing Yourself in Relationships and Download my free "Anxiety or Red Flag? Self-Trust Guide" 👉 https://www.therapykay.com/freebie If you enjoyed this episode, be sure to follow the podcast and share it with someone who's learning how to build healthier relationships, stronger boundaries, and lasting self-trust. Keywords: DBT, Dialectical Behavior Therapy, DBT FAST Skill, interpersonal effectiveness, healthy conflict, communication skills, healthy relationships, self-respect, self-trust, people pleasing, boundaries, conflict resolution, anxious attachment, CPTSD, childhood trauma, emotional regulation, therapy, mental health.

  5. Jul 8

    Is PMDD Ruining Your Relationships?

    PMDD Explained: The Hidden Hormone Disorder Affecting Millions of Women #pmdd #pms #womenshealth #adhd #relationship #dating #traumahealing #mentalhealth #reaction Could your hormones be affecting your mental health more than you realize?Millions of women struggle with severe mood changes, anxiety, depression, and emotional overwhelm every month without realizing they may be experiencing Premenstrual Dysphoric Disorder (PMDD). In this episode, I sit down with Val to discuss the signs of PMDD, how it differs from PMS, why so many women go undiagnosed, and practical ways to better understand your cycle.Download my free Anxiety or Red Flag Guide:https://www.therapykay.com/freebieEnjoy organic period care with Rif Care and get your discount using code: BLONDE www.rifcare.com We also dive into the importance of cycle tracking, toxin-free period products, ADHD and hormonal fluctuations, nutrition, supplements, and how understanding your hormones can completely change the way you care for your mental health.If you've ever felt like a completely different person before your period, this conversation may help you finally understand why.In this episode you'll learn:• The difference between PMS and PMDD• Common PMDD symptoms that are often overlooked• Why hormones can dramatically affect anxiety and depression• How ADHD and hormonal changes interact• The benefits of tracking your menstrual cycle• How nutrition and supplements can support hormone health• What to know about toxin-free period products• Practical strategies for managing PMDD symptomsResourcesThe Monarch Manualhttps://rifcare.comConnect with ValInstagram@rifcare @malibumama__ TikTok@rifcare  @malibumama__  If this episode helped you, please like this video, subscribe to the channel, and share it with someone who needs to hear it.Download my free Anxiety or Red Flag Guide:https://www.therapykay.com/freebieTimestamps00:00 Introduction00:00 PMDD vs PMS: What's the Difference?02:41 PMDD Symptoms That Can Affect Your Relationships04:26 Signs of PMDD You Shouldn't Ignore06:14 How Hormones Affect Anxiety, Depression, and ADHD09:18 Foods, Supplements, and Lifestyle Changes for PMDD13:25 Are Your Period Products Disrupting Your Hormones?16:28 How to Track Your Cycle for Better Hormone Health19:12 Why PMDD Is Often Misdiagnosed22:04 PMDD Treatment Resources and Support31:46 RifCare Products, Discount Code, and ClosingRelevant Search TermsPMDD, Premenstrual Dysphoric Disorder, women's mental health, hormones and anxiety, hormones and depression, ADHD in women, menstrual cycle, hormone health, cycle tracking, PMS vs PMDD, women's wellness, period health, toxin-free period products, mental health podcast

  6. Jul 6

    How to Ask for What You Need Without Starting a Fight | DBT DEAR MAN

    How to Ask for What You Need Without Starting a Fight | DBT DEAR MANWhy do so many conversations turn into arguments, even when your intentions are good? Have you ever walked away from a conversation thinking, "That's not what I meant," or "Why do I always feel so misunderstood?" If so, you're not alone. DBT Self Reset Series Part 3: https://spotifycreators-web.app.link/e/XYJdjRgbA4b Part 2: https://spotifycreators-web.app.link/e/3809vSgbA4b Part 1: https://spotifycreators-web.app.link/e/CO7IUTgbA4b START HERE - INTRO: https://spotifycreators-web.app.link/e/NTJaVUgbA4b In this episode of Not So Dumb Blonde, I break down one of the most effective communication skills from Dialectical Behavior Therapy (DBT): DEAR MAN. This evidence-based communication framework teaches you how to ask for what you need, set healthy boundaries, communicate with confidence, reduce defensiveness, and maintain self-respect—even during difficult conversations. Whether you're navigating conflict with a romantic partner, family member, friend, or coworker, DEAR MAN provides a practical roadmap for communicating clearly without blame, mind-reading, or people-pleasing. In this episode, we discuss: • What the DBT DEAR MAN skill is and why it works• How to communicate using facts instead of assumptions• The difference between expressing emotions and making accusations• How to ask for what you need without guilt or fear• Why defensiveness damages relationships• How to stay calm during emotionally charged conversations• Building confidence through assertive communication• Creating healthier relationships through boundaries and emotional regulation If you've struggled with anxiety, people-pleasing, conflict, emotional overwhelm, or feeling unheard, this episode will give you a practical communication tool you can start using immediately. Download my free Anxiety or Red Flag? Guide:https://www.therapykay.com/freebie Connect with me: Instagram:@itstherapykay@notsodumbblonde_pod Watch on YouTube:https://www.youtube.com/@therapykay Resources Mentioned: The Four Agreements by Don Miguel Ruiz Dialectical Behavior Therapy (DBT)https://behavioraltech.org/what-is-dbt/ Chapters 00:00 Why Healthy Communication Feels So Difficult02:41 DEAR MAN: The DBT Communication Skill Explained05:35 How to Ask for What You Need Without Starting a Fight08:21 The Biggest Communication Mistakes That Damage Relationships12:18 Building Confidence Through Assertive Communication13:52 Download the Free Anxiety or Red Flag Guide If you enjoyed this episode, please follow the podcast, leave a rating and review, and share it with someone who could benefit from healthier communication skills.

  7. Jul 1

    From Exotic Dancer to Hollywood: Why Performing for Others Nearly Cost Me Myself

    From Exotic Dancer to Hollywood: Why Performing for Others Nearly Cost Me Myself #demisexual #queerawakening #hollywood #sexuality #relationships #traumahealing #authenticity #lifetimemovies2025newrelease What happens when a woman follows the most unconventional path imaginable?Anxiety vs Red Flag Self Trust Guide Freebie - www.therapykay.com/freebieIn this episode of **Not So Dumb Blonde Podcast**, I sit down with **Tessa Scott**, a Hollywood screenwriter, television writer, actress, and creator behind the hit *Single Black Female* Lifetime movie trilogy, to talk about her extraordinary journey from serving in the U.S. Navy to working as an exotic dancer before building a successful career in Hollywood.Tessa shares the realities of life inside the strip club, why exotic dancing was both empowering **and** rooted in survival, how she secretly wrote screenplays between dances, and the unexpected skills that prepared her for the entertainment industry.We also dive into how working in clubs changed her perspective on men, relationships, confidence, and human behavior—and why it's time to challenge the stigma surrounding women in the industry.Whether you're interested in Hollywood success stories, personal growth, women's empowerment, or the psychology behind human behavior, this conversation is one you won't forget.👇 Let us know in the comments:**What surprised you most about Tessa's story?**👍 If you enjoyed this episode, don't forget to Like, Subscribe, and Share!---## Chapters00:00 Introduction: From Navy Veteran to Hollywood Screenwriter02:47 Exotic Dancing: Empowerment vs. Survival Explained06:01 Writing Screenplays While Working in a Strip Club09:00 How Exotic Dancing Changed Tessa's Perspective on Men & Relationships11:54 Breaking the Stigma Around Exotic Dancing14:46 The Surprising Skills That Helped Tessa Succeed in Hollywood17:30 Reading People: Psychology, Confidence & Human Behavior20:15 Lessons on Creativity, Resilience & Reinvention22:45 Final Advice for Women Pursuing Unconventional Dreams---## In This Episode✔️ Tessa Scott's incredible journey from the Navy to Hollywood✔️ The truth about exotic dancing and the misconceptions surrounding it✔️ Empowerment versus survival in the adult entertainment industry✔️ Writing screenplays while working in a strip club✔️ How stripping changed her views on men and dating✔️ The psychology of reading people and understanding behavior✔️ Building confidence through unconventional experiences✔️ Breaking stereotypes surrounding sex work✔️ Lessons that helped Tessa become a successful screenwriter---## About Tessa ScottTessa Scott is a television writer, screenwriter, actress, and content creator known for writing Lifetime's *Single Black Female* film series. Her unconventional path—from military service to exotic dancing to Hollywood—has given her a unique perspective on storytelling, resilience, relationships, and human psychology.---# KeywordsTessa Scott, Hollywood screenwriter, screenwriting, exotic dancing, stripper stories, empowerment, women's empowerment, survival, Hollywood career, television writer, creativity, relationships, dating advice, psychology, confidence, success story, entertainment industry, Navy veteran, life after the military, women in Hollywood, personal growth, storytelling, female entrepreneur, self-confidence, reading people, communication skills

  8. Jun 29

    Red Flags or Trauma Trigger? Learning to Trust Yourself Again

    Red Flags or Trauma Trigger? Learning to Trust Yourself Again Have you ever questioned whether you're noticing a genuine red flag—or whether your anxiety is responding to an old trauma? DBT Self Reset Series Part 3: ⁠https://spotifycreators-web.app.link/e/XYJdjRgbA4b⁠ Part 2: ⁠https://spotifycreators-web.app.link/e/3809vSgbA4b⁠ Part 1: ⁠https://spotifycreators-web.app.link/e/CO7IUTgbA4b⁠ START HERE - INTRO: ⁠https://spotifycreators-web.app.link/e/NTJaVUgbA4b⁠ ANXIETY OR RED FLAG FREEBIE - www.therapykay.com/freebie In this episode, we're breaking down one of the biggest challenges many trauma survivors face: learning how to separate intuition from fear. Using practical Dialectical Behavior Therapy (DBT) skills, I walk you through a simple three-step framework that can help you stop second-guessing yourself, identify unhealthy relationship patterns, and communicate more effectively. The difference between trauma triggers and relationship red flags Why anxiety can distort your perception The DBT skill that helps rebuild self-trust Observable facts versus assumptions Why patterns matter more than isolated incidents Healthy communication in relationships Emotional regulation and relationship anxiety Building confidence in your own judgment Whether you're healing from childhood trauma, navigating dating, or simply trying to trust yourself again, this episode offers practical tools you can begin using today. If this episode helped you, please follow the show, leave a review, and share it with someone who may need to hear it. Free Resource:Download the Anxiety or Red Flag? guide at:https://www.therapykay.com/freebie Keywords: Red Flags, Trauma Triggers, Anxiety, DBT, Relationships, Self-Trust, Emotional Intelligence, Communication Skills, Mental Health, Relationship Anxiety, Trauma Recovery, Healthy Relationships, Dating After Trauma. In this episode we discuss:

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Ratings & Reviews

5
out of 5
4 Ratings

About

Not So Dumb Blonde is a women’s mental health podcast hosted by Kaytlyn, an MSW student and mental health advocate passionate about trauma healing, emotional regulation, DBT, relationships, attachment styles, and women’s empowerment. This podcast explores the real psychology behind anxiety, BPD, people pleasing, trauma responses, emotional dysregulation, self-worth, boundaries, family systems, and modern relationships — in a relatable, honest, and easy-to-understand way. Episodes include conversations with therapists, mental health professionals, trauma survivors, authors, and experts, along

Information

  • Creator
    Kaytlyn Gilner
  • Years Active
    2023 - 2026
  • Episodes
    81
  • Rating
    Explicit
  • Copyright
    © Kaytlyn Gilner
  • Show Website
    Not So Dumb Blonde