How To Deal

Attachment Nerd

How To Deal is the podcast for parents who want to raise emotionally healthy kids in a world full of messy moments. Therapist and bestselling author Eli Harwood (aka The Attachment Nerd) brings you real stories, expert advice, and practical tools to build stronger relationships with your children—and yourself. Attachmentnerd.com

Episodes

  1. MAR 6

    How To Prepare Your Kids for a World Full of Cults | With NXIVM Whistleblowers Sarah & Nippy

    How to Prepare Your Kids for a World Full of CultsEpisode SummaryIn this powerful episode, host Eli welcomes NXIVM whistleblowers and A Little Bit Culty podcast hosts Sarah Edmondson and Anthony "Nippy" Ames to talk about what cultic abuse actually looks like — and more importantly, what parents can do to help protect their children from it. Together, they explore the psychology of manipulation, the red flags every parent should know, and how raising kids who can question authority may be one of the greatest protective gifts we can give them. Key TakeawaysCults start with inspiration, not coercion. The first step into a high-control group almost always feels meaningful — like joining a movement or community that's changing the world.It can happen to anyone. Cults often recruit high-achieving, charismatic individuals — not just vulnerable or uneducated people. Intelligence is not a shield.The real red flag isn't the group — it's the behavior. Look for: inability to question authority, isolation from family/friends, love bombing, "us vs. them" thinking, and a "one true way" belief system.Teach kids to spot tricky behaviors, not tricky people. Abusers are often well-respected members of society — coaches, pastors, teachers. Teach kids that it's the behavior that's the warning sign, not the person.Secrets vs. surprises. A great framework for kids: surprises feel light and exciting; secrets feel heavy. Secrets are not good for our hearts.Love bombing + future faking = a manipulation pattern. Excessive praise, special treatment, and promises that never come true are a recognizable sequence used by predators.Raising empowered kids is inconvenient — and worth it. Children who are allowed to question authority, express preferences, and push back learn to recognize when something feels wrong.If you're worried about a group, don't go to the leader. Seek out former members, look on Reddit, and find outside voices before confronting the situation from inside. About the GuestsSarah Edmondson is a Canadian actress and podcaster who spent 12 years inside NXIVM before blowing the whistle and helping bring down cult leader Keith Raniere. She is featured in HBO's The Vow documentary series and is the author of the memoir Scarred. She co-hosts A Little Bit Culty podcast with her husband Nippy. 🌐 Website: alittlebitculty.com📸 Instagram: @sarahedmondson🐦 Twitter/X: @sarahjedmondson Anthony "Nippy" Ames is a former NXIVM member turned whistleblower, featured prominently in HBO's The Vow. He is the Executive Producer of A Little Bit Culty podcast. 🌐 Website: alittlebitculty.com📸 Instagram: @anthonyames11🐦 Twitter/X: @nippyames Resources Mentioned📺 The Vow (HBO Documentary Series) — Watch on Max📚 Scarred by Sarah Edmondson — Amazon | Publisher (Chronicle Books)🎙️ A Little Bit Culty Podcast — alittlebitculty.com📖 Sarah & Nippy's Upcoming Book — Pre-order at sarahedmondson.com/book🕷️ Spot a Spider (Dr. Amy Saltzman's child safety program) — spotaspider.com🧠 Dr. Ramani Durvasula on Future Faking & Narcissism — doctor-ramani.com📖 I'm Glad My Mom Died by Jennette McCurdy — Amazon Learn more about secure parenting:https://www.attachmentnerd.com/secure-parenting-program Connect with Eli:Website: https://www.attachmentnerd.com/Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/attachmentnerd/TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@attachmentnerd Music by Gold Child: https://www.goldchildmusic.com/

    39 min
  2. FEB 27

    How to Teach Young Kids About Body Safety & Consent | With Jayneen Sanders

    How to Deal with Teaching Kids Body Safety & Consent | Jayneen SandersEpisode SummaryIn this deeply important conversation, Eli sits down with internationally acclaimed children's book author and publisher Jayneen Sanders to explore how parents can teach body safety, consent, and boundaries to children of all ages — from infancy through the teen years. Together they discuss why body autonomy is one of the most powerful tools we can give our kids, how grooming actually works, and what we can do to raise children who trust their instincts and feel safe coming to us. Key TakeawaysStart from birth. You can begin narrating body care to infants — "I'm moving your arm to put your jacket on" — planting the seeds of body autonomy from day one.Use the word 'consent' with young children. Teaching kids that no one can enter their personal space without permission — and that they must ask too — is the foundation of body safety.Be a warrior parent. When grandparents or other adults override your child's physical boundaries (the forced hug), speak up. Protecting body autonomy in the moment is not rude — it's essential.Teach the four-step boundary response: Name the boundary that was crossed → Share how it made you feel → State what you want them to do → Know your next step (tell a trusted adult).Teach body warning signs. Kids' bodies give them signals — a sick stomach, shakiness, or an "icky" feeling — when something is wrong. Empower children to act on those signals immediately.Build a safety network of 3–5 trusted adults, including at least one outside the immediate family, so children always have someone to turn to.Check in regularly, not anxiously. Monthly low-pressure check-ins ("Has anyone made you uncomfortable lately?") keep communication open without creating fear.Prevention is far easier than treatment. A child who discloses abuse and is believed experiences significantly less long-term trauma than one who cannot tell anyone.Read books together and keep the conversation going. Books give children visual anchors and open the door to ongoing dialogue — which is where the real protection lives.It takes a village. Ask your child's school and childcare center about their safety policies and background check procedures. About the GuestJayneen Sanders is an experienced educator, author, and publisher who advocates globally for Body Safety, Gender Equality, and Respectful Relationship Education. She founded Educate2Empower Publishing and has written over 100 children's books on critical topics including body safety and consent. Her first body safety book, Some Secrets Should Never Be Kept, was published 15 years ago and is now available in 7 languages. Connect with Jayneen: 🌐 Website: e2epublishing.info📸 Instagram: @jayneensandersauthor🐦 Twitter/X: @jayneensanders💼 LinkedIn: Jayneen Sanders Resources Mentioned📚 Respect Me, Respect My Boundaries by Jayneen Sanders — Shop at Educate2Empower (Jayneen's newest book, featuring a 4-step boundary-setting process)📚 Some Secrets Should Never Be Kept by Jayneen Sanders — Amazon | Educate2Empower📚 Body Safety Education: A Parents' Guide by Jayneen Sanders — Amazon🏫 All Jayneen's Books & Free Resources — Educate2Empower Publishing Shop🌐 Consent Parenting (school safety checklists & resources) — consentparenting.com💬 Mr. Rogers quote referenced: "What is mentionable is manageable." Learn more about secure parenting: https://www.attachmentnerd.com/secure-parenting-program Connect with Eli: Website: https://www.attachmentnerd.com/Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/attachmentnerd/TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@attachmentnerd Music by Gold Child: https://www.goldchildmusic.com/

    36 min
  3. FEB 20

    How to Deal with Our Highly Sensitive Kids | With Kristin Gallant, co-founder of Big Little Feelings

    How to Deal with Raising a Highly Sensitive or Neurodivergent KidEpisode SummaryEli sits down with Kristin Gallant, co-founder of Big Little Feelings, to dig into one of the most misunderstood parenting challenges: raising a child who feels everything — deeply, loudly, and fully. Together they unpack what it really means to have a "big feeler" in your home, why the goal was never to make sensitive kids less sensitive, and the three most powerful things parents can do to help these kids thrive. Key TakeawaysThere's a spectrum of sensitivity. Big feelers aren't just one type of kid — some push their feelings outward (intensity, drive), others turn them inward (overwhelm, collapse). Knowing your child's pattern matters.First step: rule out or rule in neurodivergence. Many highly sensitive kids are also autistic, have ADHD, or both. Getting clarity on how your child's brain works is one of the most powerful gifts you can give them.Believe your child. When the slide feels terrifying or the smell of salami is physically painful, validate it. Children who are believed learn to trust and advocate for themselves.Teach the Zones of Regulation. Help your child identify what zone they're in (red, yellow, green) and what they need in that state — this is more powerful than simply validating feelings.Diagnosis = understanding, not a verdict. Labels give children language, resources, and permission to stop wondering "what's wrong with me?"Your home can be the safe haven the world isn't. You may not be able to change the world for your big feeler, but you can make home a place where they don't have to mask.Resilience doesn't come from masking. It comes from authentic connection, belonging, and supported coping — not from teaching kids to suppress who they are.Let them bloom on their own timeline. Attuning to your child and meeting their nervous system where it is creates the safety from which real growth — extroversion, advocacy, friendship — can organically emerge. About the GuestKristin Gallant is a parent coach and co-founder of Big Little Feelings, one of the most trusted parenting resources on the internet. Alongside her business partner Deena Margolin (a licensed child therapist), Kristin has created research-backed, parent-approved courses used by over 500,000 families. Diagnosed with ADHD at 37, and a mom to an autistic child, Kristin brings both professional expertise and deeply personal experience to her work. Her newest course, the Big Feelers Program, was built specifically for parents of highly sensitive, ADHD, and autistic kids. 🌐 Website: https://biglittlefeelings.com/📸 Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/biglittlefeelings Resources Mentioned🎓 Big Feelers Program (Big Little Feelings Course) — The course built for parents of highly sensitive, ADHD, and autistic kids: https://biglittlefeelings.com/products/big-feelers📘 The Zones of Regulation by Leah Kuypers — The self-regulation curriculum referenced in this episode (red zone, yellow zone, green zone framework): https://www.zonesofregulation.com/ Also on Amazon: https://www.amazon.com/Zones-Regulation-Leah-Kuypers/dp/B008M7E0G8📗 Permission to Feel by Dr. Marc Brackett (Yale Center for Emotional Intelligence) — Referenced when discussing the importance of labeling emotions (mentalizing): https://www.amazon.com/Permission-Feel-Unlocking-Emotions-Ourselves/dp/1250212847 Learn more about Marc's work: https://marcbrackett.com/🏫 Yale Center for Emotional Intelligence — Marc Brackett's research center on emotional intelligence: https://medicine.yale.edu/childstudy/communitypartnerships/ycei/ Learn More About Secure ParentingReady to build a more secure relationship with your child? https://www.attachmentnerd.com/secure-parenting-program Connect with Eli: Website: https://www.attachmentnerd.com/Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/attachmentnerd/TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@attachmentnerd Music by Gold Child: https://www.goldchildmusic.com/

    41 min
  4. FEB 13

    How to Deal with Mom Guilt | With Jessica Tomich Sorci

    Jessica Tomich Sorci, LMFT and creator of the Mom Parts Method, shares insights on transforming mom guilt and shame using Internal Family Systems therapy. She reveals why these painful feelings aren't signs of failure, but actually pathways to healing both ourselves and our mothering. Key TakeawaysGuilt has purpose: It's a reminder when we've acted outside our values and creates opportunity for repairShame points to old wounds: Shame is a "bookmark for your unmet needs" from childhood that still need healingMotherhood activates everything: Kids are like "heat-seeking hovercrafts" for our unresolved issues, making motherhood both triggering and healingYou're mothering two kids: You're always mothering your actual child plus your inner child who still needs careParts are trying to help: Even our "worst" internal parts are actually trying to protect and help us, they just need updating About the GuestJessica Tomich Sorci, LMFT, is a pioneer in maternal mental health who created the Mom Parts method, applying Internal Family Systems therapy to motherhood. As a Level 3 Certified IFS Therapist and Certified Perinatal Mental Health Professional, she brings deep expertise to helping mothers transform difficult emotions into self-compassion. Connect with Jessica: Website: https://www.jessicatomichsorci.com/Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/jessicatomichsorci/LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/jessica-tomich-sorci-2b577056/ Resources MentionedWhen Good Moms Feel Bad - Jessica's book co-authored with Rebecca GeshuriMom Parts Community - Online community and salons for mothersMothercentered Approach Training - Professional training program for therapistsInternal Family Systems Institute - Founded by Richard Schwartz, creator of IFS therapyIntroduction to Internal Family Systems by Richard Schwartz Learn more about secure parenting: https://www.attachmentnerd.com/secure-parenting-program Connect with Eli: Website: https://www.attachmentnerd.com/Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/attachmentnerd/TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@attachmentnerd Music by Gold Child: https://www.goldchildmusic.com/

    30 min
  5. FEB 5

    How to Deal with Safety Without Scaring Your Kids | With Dannah Eve,

    In this powerful conversation, safety expert Dannah Eve, known as The Street Smart Blonde with over 4 million followers, combines her academic knowledge with street smarts to deliver life-saving insights. We explore practical strategies for keeping our families safe without living in constant fear. ## Key Takeaways - **Live aware, not in fear** - Dannah's motto emphasizes empowerment over paranoia - **The What If Game** - Turn safety preparation into engaging family activities - **Lying to survive** - Teaching kids when dishonesty protects their safety - **Family code words** - Essential communication tools for emergencies - **Trust your gut instinct** - Developing intuition as a safety muscle - **Connection as protection** - Being your child's safe space builds trust ## About the Guest **Dannah Eve** is a trusted safety expert and digital creator known as The Street Smart Blonde. As a former D1 athlete and Summa Cum Laude graduate in Criminology and Psychology, she combines academic knowledge with street smarts to deliver life-saving insights to her rapidly growing audience of over 4 million followers across her social media platforms. **Connect with Dannah:** - Website: [dannaheve.com](https://www.dannaheve.com/) - Instagram: [@dannah_eve](https://www.instagram.com/dannah_eve/) - YouTube: [@dannah_eve](https://www.youtube.com/@dannah_eve) - Twitter: [@dannah_eve](https://x.com/dannah_eve) - LinkedIn: [Dannah Eve](https://www.linkedin.com/in/dannah-eve-434b33193/) ## Resources Mentioned - **Street Smarts Book** by Dannah Eve - [Amazon](https://www.amazon.com/Street-Smarts-Instincts-Outsmart-Danger/dp/0063438887) | [Barnes & Noble](https://www.barnesandnoble.com/w/street-smarts-dannah-eve/1147525519) | [Bookshop.org](https://bookshop.org/p/books/street-smarts-trust-your-instincts-outsmart-danger-and-stay-safe-in-a-world-that-isn-t-dannah-eve/872c84c47df982dc) --- **Learn more about secure parenting:** https://www.attachmentnerd.com/secure-parenting-program **Connect with Eli:** - Website: https://www.attachmentnerd.com/ - Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/attachmentnerd/ - TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@attachmentnerd **Music by Gold Child:** https://www.goldchildmusic.com/

    49 min
  6. JAN 29

    How to Deal With Bias as Parents | Destini Ann Davis

    We all have biases. Every single one of us. They're the mental shortcuts our brains built when we were young—and most of us never thought to question them. But what happens when your child starts forming their own identity, and it challenges everything you thought you believed? In this episode, Eli sits down with Destini Ann Davis—bestselling author of Very Intentional Parenting, certified parenting coach, and creator to unpack how our unexamined biases can quietly erode secure attachment with our kids. They dive into: Why ALL humans have biases (and why that's not the same as being "bad")The difference between recognizing bias and acting on itHow proximity and diverse exposure actually rewires our brainsWhy "distance breeds suspicion, but proximity breeds empathy" (Tyler Merritt)Teaching kids to pause and get curious instead of react with judgmentHow authenticity about our own biases creates deeper connections Whether it's biases about race, gender, neurodivergence, body size, or a hundred other things—this conversation will help you examine what you're unconsciously passing on. 📝 TAKE THE TEST: Harvard University's Implicit Association Test (IAT) — https://implicit.harvard.edu/implicit/takeatest.html ABOUT THE GUEST: Destini Ann Davis is a certified parenting coach, bestselling author, and speaker who helps parents create intentional, connected relationships with their children through her "Very Intentional Parenting" approach. Her TikTok has grown to over 900K followers, and she recently earned her master's in psychology. Website: https://www.destiniann.com/Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/destini.ann/LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/destini-davis-a44700266/Book: Very Intentional Parenting by Destini Ann Davis RESOURCES MENTIONED: Harvard Implicit Association Test (IAT): https://implicit.harvard.edu/implicit/takeatest.htmlI Take My Coffee Black by Tyler Merritt: https://www.amazon.com/Take-My-Coffee-Black-Reflections/dp/1546029419Very Intentional Parenting by Destini Ann Davis 📚 PRE-ORDER ELI'S NEW BOOK: "How to Deal With Your ____, So Your Kids Don't Have To: An Encyclopedia for Ditching Your Emotional Baggage" (April 2026) 👉 https://www.attachmentnerd.com/how-to-deal-book 🎓 SECURE PARENTING PROGRAM: https://www.attachmentnerd.com/secure-parenting-program CONNECT WITH ELI: Website: https://www.attachmentnerd.com/Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/attachmentnerd/TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@attachmentnerd 🎵 Music by Gold Child: https://www.goldchildmusic.com/

    1h 10m
5
out of 5
61 Ratings

About

How To Deal is the podcast for parents who want to raise emotionally healthy kids in a world full of messy moments. Therapist and bestselling author Eli Harwood (aka The Attachment Nerd) brings you real stories, expert advice, and practical tools to build stronger relationships with your children—and yourself. Attachmentnerd.com

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