Mucked Up My Self-Care Podcast

Jill Olish and Linda Bonney

A podcast for moms about the real, raw, and unscripted perspectives of guilt-free self-care by two moms across the globe. This unedited podcast is real life and their personal experiences told in friendly conversation style. Advocating for all moms who have mucked up their self care. There are so many others out there that aren't successfully solving the real problem of trying to figure out what self-care is. We want to bring to light the reality of what self-care can look like for moms who struggle to fit it in, don't know what will work for them, and the ways that it hasn't worked. We want to have conversations about the guilt we feel when we are pressured to mother ourselves when we don't know how and aren't given the support to in our society today.

  1. 2d ago

    Is Self-Care Still Self-Care If It Creates More Chaos?

    There’s the version of self-care we see online – peaceful workouts, long baths, solo coffee dates – and then there’s what actually happens at home. The workout that blows up bedtime. The night out that leaves everyone grumpy. The “me time” that somehow creates three times more work later. In this episode, Jill and Linda ask the honest question: Is it still self-care if it creates more chaos? From the times self-care feels like an extra job, to the moments when your attempt at rest makes things harder on your partner, kids, or future you, this conversation is about what to do when taking care of yourself doesn’t feel worth the fallout anymore. In this episode, you’ll hear: Real-life examples of self-care that was supposed to be nourishing but ended up stressing everyone outHow to tell when the cost of a self-care choice is actually outweighing the benefit in your current seasonWhy “reading the room” (your schedule, energy, and home dynamics) matters before you commit to something bigThe difference between big, dramatic self-care blocks and tiny micro-moments that create less chaos and more consistencyThe guilt that comes up when you take time for yourself and it clearly impacts other peopleWhy the solution isn’t to quit self-care, but to adjust the timing, length, or form so it truly supports you and your familyPractical ideas for making your self-care fit your real life instead of trying to squeeze your life around an idealized version of self-care By the end, you’ll have language for why some of your “good” self-care ideas haven’t felt good in practice, and permission to change them without shame. You’ll see that you’re not bad at self-care – you’re just bumping into real-world limits that need to be part of the plan. For a simple way to start this week, pick one self-care habit that keeps creating chaos or resentment. Instead of cutting it completely, adjust it by one notch: make it shorter, move it to a different time, add a bit more support, or swap it for a smaller version that your current life can actually hold. Until next week, we hope you can unstuck your muck! 💛 📩 Need help figuring out where to start with self-care? Message us at muckedupmyselfcarepodcast@gmail.com and we’ll send our favorite five simple ideas.👋 Find Jill @mamaoutspoken and mamaoutspoken.com💬 Connect with Linda @hellolindabonney or lindabonney.com

  2. Sep 14

    How Do You Practice Self-Care When Your Body Is No Longer Yours?

    You know those seasons when your body just stops cooperating the way it used to? Pregnancy, illness, hormones, burnout, long-term exhaustion… suddenly the things that once felt nourishing either don’t work or aren’t even possible. In this episode, Jill and Linda get honest about what happens to self-care when your body doesn’t feel like it’s yours anymore, and what it looks like to be kind to yourself in the middle of that. From the identity shift of losing some autonomy over your own body, to the frustration of needing more rest than you “think you should,” this conversation is about updating your self-care to match the body you have right now, not the one you used to have. In this episode, you’ll hear: How seasons like pregnancy, illness, and burnout can make your usual self-care tools stop working (and why that feels so destabilizing)The identity shift that happens when your body changes, and the grief, anger, or disappointment that can come with thatWhat it looks like when movement starts to feel draining instead of energizing, and how to rethink “exercise” in gentler waysWhy rest can feel so guilty and “unearned,” even when your body is clearly asking you to slow downThe hard but necessary conversations with partners and family when your capacity changes and you can’t keep doing what you used toHow tying your worth to productivity and output makes physical limitation even heavier to carrySimple, real-life ways to start honoring your current capacity instead of chasing your old standards By the end, you’ll feel less alone in the seasons where your body feels foreign, fragile, or just different. You’ll hear that nothing is “wrong” with you for needing more support, more rest, or less hustle. Self-care in these moments isn’t about keeping up with your past self; it’s about tending to the version of you that exists right now. For a simple way to start this week, notice one place where you’re still judging yourself by an old version of your body. Then, on purpose, lower the bar there: shrink the expectation, choose a smaller self-care action that fits your current capacity, and let that be enough for this season. Until next week, we hope you can unstuck your muck! 💛 📩 Need help figuring out where to start with self-care? Message us at muckedupmyselfcarepodcast@gmail.com and we’ll send our favorite five simple ideas.👋 Find Jill @mamaoutspoken and mamaoutspoken.com💬 Connect with Linda @hellolindabonney or lindabonney.com

  3. Jun 1

    The Mental Load is in a Self-Care Crisis

    What if the reason self-care feels impossible isn't laziness, lack of time, or poor planning — but the invisible, never-ending mental load that mums carry every single day? In this episode of Mucked Up My Self Care, Linda and Jill get real about the weight of the mental load: the planning, scheduling, remembering, and organising that keeps the family ship afloat — and quietly drowns our capacity for self-care. From pregnancy brain to tea towels that seem to multiply on the bench, this conversation is warm, honest, and deeply relatable for any mum who has ever felt like her brain just won't switch off. In this episode, you'll learn:Why the mental load is a self-care crisis — and the research that backs it upHow mums carry the majority of household mental load tasks and what that actually costs usWhy awareness of the mental load isn't always enough to change it — and what the real gap isWhat it looks like to gently let go of mental load tasks, even just for a seasonHow to start sharing the load with a partner, your kids, or your wider support networkWhy passing off even one small task out loud can be a powerful first stepThe role society and systems play in keeping mums overwhelmed — and why it's not your faultHow to identify the one piece of your mental load you've been silently carrying alone The mental load doesn't take a day off — but you deserve a break from carrying it all alone. Whether you're deep in pregnancy, parenting solo, or navigating a household where the invisible work still somehow lands on your shoulders, this episode is your reminder: you are not failing. You are carrying too much. Jill and Linda invite you to start small — name the one thing you've been silently managing, and consider who else could hold a piece of it. That conversation? That's self-care too. Until next week, we hope you can unstuck your muck! 💛 📩 Want simple self-care ideas to get you started? Email us at muckedupmyselfcarepodcast@gmail.com and we'll send our favourite five simple ideas. 👋 Find Jill @mamaoutspoken and mamaoutspoken.com 💬 Connect with Linda @hellolindabonney or lindabonney.com

  4. May 3

    How Moms Around the World Do Self-Care

    Self-care is universal — every mum on the planet needs it. But what it actually looks like? That part is anything but. In this episode of Mucked Up My Self Care, Linda (Tasmania) and Jill (New York) go bigger than their own backyards and explore how mums around the world live out self-care — and why, in so many Western cultures, it's become the loneliest version of all. From the guilt of resting to the power of a real village, this conversation will have you rethinking everything you thought self-care had to look like. In this episode, you’ll learn: Why self-care looks so different depending on where you live in the worldHow collectivist cultures weave rest into community — without anyone needing to earn itWhy the Western version of self-care can feel so isolating, and what we’re missingWhat a “village” actually means in modern motherhood — and how to start building oneHow mum guilt is shaped by culture, and what it looks like in places where it barely existsSimple, realistic things you can borrow from other cultures to fill the gaps in your own self-careWhy asking one person for something small this week might be the most powerful thing you do Self-care doesn’t have to look the way you’ve been told it should. Whether your version is an afternoon nap, a slow walk to school, or finally texting that friend to ask for help — it counts. Linda and Jill invite you to look beyond your own backyard, borrow what resonates, and give yourself full permission to build a version of self-care that actually fits your life. The village starts with one small ask. Why not make it this week? Until next week, we hope you can unstuck your muck! 💛 📩 Listening from a culture that prioritises rest or community? We’d love to hear from you! Message us at muckedupmyselfcarepodcast@gmail.com 👋 Find Jill @mamaoutspoken and mamaoutspoken.com 💬 Connect with Linda @hellolindabonney or lindabonney.com

  5. Apr 5

    Why Moms Feel Guilty When Doing Good Things for Themselves

    You finally carve out time for yourself...and then spend the whole time feeling terrible about it. Sound familiar? In this episode of Mucked Up My Self-Care, Jill and Linda get real about the guilt loop that keeps so many moms stuck, and why doing something good for yourself can somehow end up feeling so bad. From messy houses and cancelled plans to babysitters, date nights, and the invisible weight of generational conditioning, this conversation is both honest and relatable. In this episode, you'll learn: Why self-care guilt shows up even when you're doing everything "right"How the state of your home can quietly drive your inner criticWhat generational patterns might be keeping you stuck in the guilt loopWhy asking for help and putting yourself first go hand in hand (and why both feel hard)How to notice and name guilt before it talks you out of your self-careThe powerful difference between earning self-care and simply deserving it You are not a bad mum for taking care of yourself. You're actually a better one for it. Whether you're wrestling with a messy house, a packed schedule, or the nagging voice that says not yet, Jill and Linda remind you that unlearning guilt is a process, and you don't have to do it perfectly to make progress. This week, try swapping "I earned this" for "I deserve this", and see what shifts. Until next week, we hope you can unstuck your muck! 💛 📩 Need help figuring out where to start with self-care? Message us at muckedupmyselfcarepodcast@gmail.com and we'll send our favourite five simple ideas.👋 Find Jill @mamaoutspoken and mamaoutspoken.com💬 Connect with Linda @hellolindabonney or lindabonney.com

  6. Mar 1

    What Happens When You Outgrow Yourself and Self-Care?

    Growth is rarely linear, and it's almost never pretty. In this season two debut of Mucked Up My Self Care, Jill and Linda are back — and they are not the same women who started this podcast. From pregnancy announcements and pregnancy symptoms to solo parenting four kids 24/7 and navigating grief, this episode is a raw, honest look at what it means to evolve publicly and privately, and what you have to let go of to make room for who you're becoming. If you've ever felt like slowing down means falling behind, this one's for you. In this episode, you'll hear: Why slowing down can actually be the most intentional form of growth — and how Jill and Linda are applying that to the podcast in season twoJill's big announcement: after years of trying, baby number two is on the way — and pregnancy symptoms are no joke the second time aroundWhat it really means to be a solo parent (hint: it's not the same as single parenting) and how Linda is navigating that 100% on her ownHow grief, miscarriage, and massive life shifts shaped the decision to take a break — and why that was one of the smartest moves they've madeThe quarterly check-in strategy that keeps this cross-world collaboration grounded and growingWhy posting less can actually mean doing more — and what season two is going to look likeHow to give yourself permission to outgrow the version of you that got you started Growth doesn't always look like doing more. Sometimes it looks like a 3-year-old pouring cereal five times a day while you try to hold it all together — and finding the grace in that chaos anyway. Jill and Linda get vulnerable about the behind-the-scenes moments that nobody sees, the habits and expectations worth letting go of, and why our taste buds regenerating every couple of weeks might just be the best metaphor for self-care growth you'll hear today. You're allowed to outgrow the old version of you. And we're here to hold that space. Until next episode, we hope you can unstuck your muck! 💛 📩 What are you giving yourself permission to outgrow? Tell us at muckedupmyselfcarepodcast@gmail.com — we'd love to hear from you! 👋 Find Jill @mamaoutspoken and mamaoutspoken.com 💬 Connect with Linda @hellolindabonney or lindabonney.com

  7. 11/10/2025

    A Pause for Self Care

    After 125 episodes of real, messy conversations about self-care, Jill and Linda take a moment to pause and reflect. In this episode, they share their weekly highs and lows—celebrating joyful moments like Halloween with family while also navigating the deep grief of losing a loved one. It’s a reminder that life rarely holds just one emotion at a time. They also open up about an important decision for the podcast: taking a seasonal pause. After consistently showing up week after week, they’re giving themselves permission to step back, recharge, and return refreshed in the new year. This conversation is honest, heartfelt, and a powerful reminder that sometimes self-care looks like pressing pause. In this episode, you'll hear: Jill shares joyful Halloween memories with her son—and the heartbreaking news of her father’s passing after his battle with cancer.Linda reflects on the sweet and funny moments of parenting a toddler discovering her voice and personality.The emotional complexity of holding joy and grief at the same time.Why Jill and Linda decided to pause the podcast after 125 weekly episodes.How taking breaks can actually be an essential part of sustainable self-care.What listeners can expect when Mucked Up My Self Care returns next season. Self-care sometimes means pushing through—but other times it means giving yourself permission to pause. Jill and Linda aren’t saying goodbye—they’re simply pressing pause so they can come back refreshed and ready for more honest conversations about motherhood, life, and self-care. Until next season, we hope you can unstuck your muck! 💛 📩 Need help figuring out where to start with self-care? Message us at muckedupmyselfcarepodcast@gmail.com and we'll send our favorite simple self-care ideas—no thinking required! 👋 Find Jill @mamaoutspoken and mamaoutspoken.com 💬 Connect with Linda @hellolindabonney or lindabonney.com

  8. 11/02/2025

    When Self-Care Feels Selfish

    Sometimes self-care feels impossible when life demands everything from us, and that's when we need it most. In this raw and honest episode of Mucked Up My Self Care, Jill and Linda dive into one of the hardest questions moms face: How do we take care of ourselves when others need us more? From navigating terminal illness and anticipatory grief to solo parenting four kids through sickness and cold weather, this conversation gets real about guilt, shortcuts, and the mental load of trying to do it all. If you've ever felt selfish for taking a moment for yourself while others are struggling, this episode is for you. In this episode, you'll hear: Why self-care feels selfish when you're caring for sick or struggling loved ones and how to reframe that guiltHow to take meaningful shortcuts without sacrificing your sanity (hello, skipping pajamas and porridge for dinner!)The difference between being selfish and setting realistic expectations when you're overwhelmedWhy "taking care of yourself too" can feel impossible when someone else's need feels greater than yoursHow to identify who your priority "family" is during crisis seasons and why that mattersWays to combine self-care with caring for others so your cup gets filled while you're still showing upWhat anticipatory grief looks like and why it makes self-care even harder to prioritize Self-care doesn't have to be solo or scheduled to count. Whether you're reading while the house gets messier, sharing time with your child during spooky season, or showing up for aging parents while barely holding it together yourself, this episode is a reminder that you're not selfish for needing care too. Jill and Linda get vulnerable about the weight of responsibility, the shortcuts that save them, and why we have to stop waiting for permission to take care of ourselves—even in the hardest seasons. Until next week, we hope you can unstuck your muck! 💛 📩 Need help figuring out where to start with self-care? Message us at muckedupmyselfcarepodcast@gmail.com and we'll send our favorite simple self-care ideas—no thinking required! 👋 Find Jill @mamaoutspoken and mamaoutspoken.com 💬 Connect with Linda @hellolindabonney or lindabonney.com

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About

A podcast for moms about the real, raw, and unscripted perspectives of guilt-free self-care by two moms across the globe. This unedited podcast is real life and their personal experiences told in friendly conversation style. Advocating for all moms who have mucked up their self care. There are so many others out there that aren't successfully solving the real problem of trying to figure out what self-care is. We want to bring to light the reality of what self-care can look like for moms who struggle to fit it in, don't know what will work for them, and the ways that it hasn't worked. We want to have conversations about the guilt we feel when we are pressured to mother ourselves when we don't know how and aren't given the support to in our society today.