Whole New Life

Stacy Ryan
  • 5.0 (8)
  • PERSONAL JOURNALS
  • UPDATED WEEKLY

PODCAST: Having survived cancer in my 40s and the loss of my husband in my 50s, I deeply empathize with the challenges you may be facing. I share my coping strategies and the determination it takes to remain resilient. By following my journey, you'll discover practical techniques to manage grief, build emotional strength, and find hope even in the darkest times.  Throughout 30 episodes, I candidly share every moment of my falls and the strength I found to rise again each time. I chronicle my journey of learning and growth and include a surprising twist I never thought possible: falling in love again.   Widowhood has been far from easy, the effort I invested in five years following my husband's passing has, and will always remain, entirely worthwhile.   BOOK SERIES: In 2024 I wrote and self-published a 3-book series about my life, love, and loss. You may purchase on Amazon in paperback, eBook, and audiobook.   Book One: 46 Days: Just the beginning of my healing journey… Approximately two months after my husband passed away from cancer, I needed to get away for a while. In 2020 I was not only his wife, but also his caregiver for the last year of his life. Watching my husband slowly die in front of my eyes took everything out of me.   Book Two: 140.6 sMILES: It was more than just crossing the finish line… Both the physical and mental strength it took to train for, as well as complete, actually provided me with the physical and mental strength I needed when I found out I had cancer in 2013, as well as learning my husband’s cancer was terminal in 2020.   Book Three: 3 Words: Powerful words that changed my life forever… The most gut-wrenching words I have ever heard were spoken to me in 2013 and then again to my husband in 2019: “You Have Cancer.”   WEBSITE: https://stacyryanauthor.com/   DISCLAIMER: My story should not be interpreted in any way as expert, health, or medical advice. I chose to share my story, in my voice, to assure people they are not alone and perhaps provide a bit of inspiration or a glimpse of hope, if needed.

  1. 05/31/2025

    Loving Twice: How I Honor My Past While Embracing My Future

    After losing my husband to cancer in 2020, I embarked on what felt like an impossible journey—finding purpose in my shattered world. In this final episode, I reflect on the path I've traveled from wife to caregiver to widow to now embracing my whole new life. The grief journey has been anything but linear. I've fallen countless times but somehow found the strength to rise again. Through raw journal entries, therapy sessions, and painful "firsts," I've documented the rollercoaster of widowhood across 30 episodes—one for each year I spent with John. From the depths of despair in those early days to my November 2022 epiphany when I realized I was no longer searching for my new life but actually living it, this podcast has chronicled every step. What I never expected was finding love again with someone who truly understands. In late 2023, believing I needed to connect with someone who "got it," I met another widower—also named John—who lost his wife to cancer after 30 years together. The parallels in our stories created an immediate bond of understanding that has blossomed into a relationship where we honor our past loves while building a future together. I'm sharing his story too, as he bravely opens up about caregiving, loneliness, and finding connection after loss. As I close this chapter of sharing my widow journey, I do so with peace in my heart and gratitude for both the life I had and the one unfolding before me. My hope has always been to help others feel less alone—whether you're walking the widow path or supporting someone who is. Thank you for walking alongside me. StacyRyanAuthor.com

    22 min

  2. 05/24/2025

    Rebuilding Hearts: Dale and Annie's Journey from Grief to a Second Chance

    Can your heart truly find love again after experiencing the shattering pain of losing a spouse? Dale and Annie's story proves it's not only possible—it can happen when you least expect it. When Annie posted on Facebook asking for help spreading mulch before her daughter's wedding, she never imagined it would lead to finding love again. Dale, also a widow who had lost his wife to cancer, showed up with his wheelbarrow and shovel. Day after day, he returned to help with projects around her property, developing a friendship that slowly blossomed into something deeper. Their journey wasn't without challenges. Annie struggled with the fear of loving again, knowing the pain of loss all too well. When she confronted her fears about their 15-year age difference and the possibility of future heartbreak, Dale's response changed everything: "How much life are you going to miss in those 20 years when you're avoiding a relationship because you don't want to be hurt?" This perspective transformed Annie's outlook and allowed their relationship to flourish. Now married for over a year, Dale and Annie share a unique appreciation for every moment together. As Annie beautifully explains, "We understand that every day is truly a gift." StacyRyanAuthor.com

    13 min

  3. 05/17/2025

    The Evolution of Remembering: How Memories Shift After Loss

    Memory works in mysterious ways after profound loss. Four years after my husband John died from cancer, I've made a startling discovery about grief that nobody warned me about – sometimes I can't remember whether events in my life happened before or after he passed away. This realization initially crushed me with guilt. How could something so fundamental become blurry? What does it mean when I have to consciously focus – to be "in the zone" – to place memories correctly on my life's timeline? The evolution of grief has been a journey through distinct phases, each bringing unexpected challenges. This memory blurring represents both healing and a new kind of loss to process. It's another reminder that grief isn't linear – it transforms in ways we can't anticipate. StacyRyanAuthor.com

    9 min

  4. 05/10/2025

    When Time Stops: How Caregiving and Sudden Loss Shape Different Grief Journeys

    Grief arrives in many forms, and its timing is never what we expect. After losing my husband to cancer in 2020, I discovered that my grieving process had actually begun a year earlier with his diagnosis—a slow unraveling as I watched him slip away while trying to savor every remaining moment. The contrast with my sister-in-law Annie's experience couldn't be more stark: she lost her husband suddenly to a heart attack, performing CPR in their bedroom at 2:30 AM after they had casually said goodnight just hours before. These parallel journeys through loss reveal profound truths about grief's unpredictable nature. While I had time for difficult conversations and goodbyes, Annie had none—yet both of us faced the same mountain of pain, just from different starting points. I share the raw reality of becoming a caregiver, watching my husband decline day by day, and the crushing weight of finally telling him it was okay to let go. Annie generously reveals her story through a letter describing the night that changed everything, from the ordinary moments of a playoff game and dinner to the surreal experience of hospital hallways and returning home alone. What emerges from these shared experiences is a roadmap for both those grieving and those supporting someone through loss. I've learned not to judge another's grief journey, to listen more than speak, and to simply do what needs doing without asking. Most importantly, both Annie and I discovered that even with "half a heart missing," it's possible to build a meaningful life again—different, forever marked by loss, but also enriched by deeper appreciation for each day. StacyRyanAuthor.com

    15 min

  5. 05/03/2025

    Finding Purpose After Losing Our Husbands to Cancer: The Past, The Now & The Future

    Grief rewrites our entire life story, dividing it into clear chapters—before loss, during caregiving, after death, and the future we must now reimagine. In this deeply moving conversation, I sit with my friend Teri as we explore these four distinct parts of our widowhood journey after losing our husbands to colon cancer. We begin by reflecting on our previous lives—relationships marked by profound ease and partnership. Teri shares her 30-year love story with Rob, while I recall how my husband John seemed to know me better than I knew myself. When cancer arrived uninvited, we both made similar choices without realizing it. We refused to let the disease become the center of our households. We didn't Google statistics or dwell on prognoses. Instead, we focused on living each day fully, appreciating mundane moments with newfound intensity. We trusted our medical teams and protected our mental health by staying present rather than spiraling into anxiety about the inevitable. The most powerful moments emerge as we discuss our current lives as young widows. Teri reveals how her children became her purpose: "I never stopped, and I think I never stopped because of my kids." I share how my healing began with the smallest victories—just brushing my teeth felt like an accomplishment some days. We both acknowledge that grief visits periodically, but we've learned not to let it take permanent residence. We've discovered the gift of presence—living fully in each moment rather than fixating on five-year plans. When I ask Teri if she ever feels guilty for finding happiness again, her answer resonates deeply: "I do not. Rob would never plant that seed in my head." StacyRyanAuthor.com

    26 min

  6. 04/26/2025

    Real Emotions of Being a Widow: Feeling Guilty and Happy at the Same Time

    Can you feel genuinely happy after devastating loss? When my husband died in 2020, I couldn't imagine ever experiencing true happiness again. Now, five years later, I've found myself in a surprising place – genuinely happy and yet wrestling with unexpected guilt about that happiness. "I thought genuine happiness was just a dream," reflecting on my darkest days. "Can I feel happy again? Can I feel joy? Can I be content in my life?" The answer, as I've discovered, is yes – though not without complications. Now sharing my life with another widowed person who truly understands my journey, I've found a new kind of happiness that honors rather than replaces my past. Fellow widows Maribeth and Michelle join the conversation, sharing their own experiences finding love and joy after loss. Their stories create a tapestry of hope, validating the confusing mix of emotions that accompany happiness after grief. As Maribeth beautifully puts it, "It sometimes seems so confusing to experience both joy and pain and grief all at the same time." StacyRyanAuthor.com

    15 min

  7. 04/19/2025

    Grief's Awkward Moments: Things People Said or Did and The Impact

    Four of us share the raw truth about what helped—and hurt—our first year of grief. My sister-in-law Annie, Annie's husband Dale, and my boyfriend John join me for an intimate conversation about navigating widowhood together. We reveal the profound impact of simple statements like "you do you" and "it's okay not to be okay" that gave us permission to grieve authentically. We recount how friends who simply showed up—bringing food, scheduling visits, sharing memories, or just walking together—created lifelines during our darkest days. Annie's candid admission that she remembers little from her first year of widowhood highlights how differently grief can manifest. We also discuss the well-intended but painful comments received. From premature suggestions about finding new love to the dreaded "I understand". We acknowledge that these challenges came from good people with kind intentions—the guidance simply arrived at the wrong moment. What emerges is a powerful lesson about the value of presence over perfect words, listening over advising, and respecting each person's unique grieving journey. As Dale powerfully states, "It doesn't matter what you say, it's that you're there." StacyRyanAuthor.com

    18 min

  8. 04/12/2025

    From "We Were Going To" to "I Get To": My Journey of Renewal

    When the future you planned suddenly vanishes, how do you move forward? After losing my husband to cancer in 2020, I faced the incredibly difficult journey of transforming our "we were going to" dreams into a new life of "I get to" opportunities. This deeply personal episode takes you through the evolution of our marriage conversations—from the light, daily check-ins of our 20s to the profound end-of-life discussions where my husband encouraged me to find purpose without him. I share how our discussions changed through different life stages, and the gutting reality of sitting beside someone you love while they prepare you for a future they won't share. My grief journey unfolded in distinct phases over four years. 2021 brought the robotic "I have to" survival mode, where simply getting through each day required tremendous effort. In 2022, I cautiously entered an "I guess I could" mindset, tentatively exploring new possibilities. By 2023, I developed the courage to try new things without expectations, which eventually blossomed into my current perspective: "I get to." This transformative mindset has opened doors to talents I never knew I possessed and opportunities I couldn't have imagined during those darkest days. StacyRyanAuthor.com

    9 min
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5
out of 5
8 Ratings

About

PODCAST: Having survived cancer in my 40s and the loss of my husband in my 50s, I deeply empathize with the challenges you may be facing. I share my coping strategies and the determination it takes to remain resilient. By following my journey, you'll discover practical techniques to manage grief, build emotional strength, and find hope even in the darkest times.  Throughout 30 episodes, I candidly share every moment of my falls and the strength I found to rise again each time. I chronicle my journey of learning and growth and include a surprising twist I never thought possible: falling in love again.   Widowhood has been far from easy, the effort I invested in five years following my husband's passing has, and will always remain, entirely worthwhile.   BOOK SERIES: In 2024 I wrote and self-published a 3-book series about my life, love, and loss. You may purchase on Amazon in paperback, eBook, and audiobook.   Book One: 46 Days: Just the beginning of my healing journey… Approximately two months after my husband passed away from cancer, I needed to get away for a while. In 2020 I was not only his wife, but also his caregiver for the last year of his life. Watching my husband slowly die in front of my eyes took everything out of me.   Book Two: 140.6 sMILES: It was more than just crossing the finish line… Both the physical and mental strength it took to train for, as well as complete, actually provided me with the physical and mental strength I needed when I found out I had cancer in 2013, as well as learning my husband’s cancer was terminal in 2020.   Book Three: 3 Words: Powerful words that changed my life forever… The most gut-wrenching words I have ever heard were spoken to me in 2013 and then again to my husband in 2019: “You Have Cancer.”   WEBSITE: https://stacyryanauthor.com/   DISCLAIMER: My story should not be interpreted in any way as expert, health, or medical advice. I chose to share my story, in my voice, to assure people they are not alone and perhaps provide a bit of inspiration or a glimpse of hope, if needed.

Information

  • Creator
    Stacy Ryan
  • Years Active
    2023 - 2025
  • Episodes
    30
  • Rating
    Clean
  • Copyright
    © 2025 Whole New Life
  • Show Website
    Whole New Life