Movie Torture

The Hopecast Network
The Hopecast Network
  • 5.0 (15)
  • Comedy
  • Updated Weekly

Join Brad, Mark and MTD as they tackle movies you may not want to watch, laugh a lot, and figure out if this movie is movie torture or movie gold..

  1. 3d ago

    Obsession (2026)

    MTD was at the beach. Jacob turned 91. And somehow that combination led to a discussion about Chris Hansen, suspicious party guests carrying cookies, and why Facebook Marketplace might be the most dangerous place on the internet. Before they even mentioned the movie, Brad unloaded weeks of Marketplace trauma. One guy negotiated the price... ...only to announce he was already on his way to buy someone else's bike. Another promised to show up Saturday morning, completely disappeared, read Brad's messages hours later, and never replied. Then there was the 3 a.m. message from a woman who wanted an e-bike delivered halfway across the state because her boyfriend would meet him there. At that point, Brad was convinced every Marketplace sale ends with either getting ghosted or getting kidnapped. Mark didn't exactly disagree. The two spent several minutes wondering why basic human communication seems to disappear the moment someone opens Facebook Marketplace. They even pitched an entire bonus episode devoted to reading ridiculous Marketplace messages because, frankly, they write themselves. Eventually they remembered they were supposed to review Obsession. The movie follows Bear, a painfully awkward guy who's too afraid to ask Nikki out, so instead he buys a magical "One Wish Willow" from the creepiest crystal shop imaginable. Rather than wishing for confidence... ...or money... ...or unlimited wishes... ...he wishes Nikki will love him more than anything else in the world. As expected, that turns out to be one of the worst decisions in horror movie history. Brad couldn't understand why Bear was so terrified to ask her out in the first place. Nikki practically hands him the opportunity on a silver platter, asking if he likes her while they're sitting alone in the car. Instead... ...he freezes. Then immediately cracks open the magical wish stick. Problem solved. Sort of. The guys loved the creepy crystal shop, especially the employee who looked less like a cashier and more like someone who escaped from another dimension. Brad's theory? The store isn't actually a store at all. It's basically hell with retail hours. Neither of them could figure out how a company selling cursed wishing sticks hasn't been sued into oblivion. Somehow the business just keeps operating. From there, the conversation wandered completely off the rails. William Baldwin was declared the greatest Baldwin because he got Sharon Stone and Cindy Crawford in consecutive movies. Russell Crowe was accused of eating Russell Crowe. They reminisced about AOL discs, Prodigy internet, Pizza Hut's Back to the Future Part II glasses, and enough forgotten '90s thrillers to fill several future episodes. At one point they honestly seemed to forget Obsession existed. Then someone remembered. Barely. When they finally returned to the movie, both hosts agreed it delivered exactly what horror fans have been missing: an original premise, genuine creepiness, and a villain who creates his own nightmare because he refuses to have one uncomfortable conversation. Not bad for a movie that cost less than most Hollywood catering budgets.

  2. Aug 10

    Halloween: H20 (1998)

    Mark survived his first episode, so naturally he came back for another. This time, Brad kicked things off with a travel story that somehow involved a near-missed flight, a greasy Bojangles biscuit that stained his shorts, and enough airport anxiety to make MTD's "arrive four hours early" philosophy sound completely reasonable. Then they reviewed Halloween H20. Except... they refused to call it Halloween H20. Within minutes the movie had been permanently renamed Halloween Water, because apparently someone in Hollywood thought using the chemical formula for water was cooler than calling it Halloween 20 Years Later. Brad wasn't buying it. Instead of discussing the plot, the guys immediately started pitching better movies. What if Michael Myers went camping? What if Michael Myers took a road trip across America? What if Michael Myers stopped at Buc-ee's to carve brisket? What if he worked the carving station wearing a hairnet while still carrying the same knife he'd been using for twenty years? All of those somehow sounded more entertaining than the actual movie. Then came the question nobody at the studio apparently asked: How does Michael Myers get from Illinois to California? This is before GPS. Did he have an atlas? Did he stop at a gas station and ask for directions? Did he kill people just to pay for fuel? Did he spend the night at a Motel 6? These are the mysteries Movie Torture asks because Hollywood refuses to. The movie itself didn't escape the criticism either. Brad couldn't figure out why Michael Myers suddenly decides not to kill people he normally would. Mark questioned how Laurie Strode somehow became the head of a private school after faking her identity. Neither of them understood why the school supposedly had hundreds of students but only about six people ever appear on screen. By the halfway point they'd also discussed Kevin Williamson, Dawson's Creek, Josh Hartnett's permanently messy hair, LL Cool J's career, Rocky, The Muppet Show, and whether Michael Myers secretly wakes up every October 31st like a bear coming out of hibernation thinking, "Guess it's time to go find Laurie again." Somewhere in there they did eventually talk about Halloween Water. Not much. But enough to conclude that twenty years of waiting somehow produced a movie where the funniest part wasn't Michael Myers... ...it was imagining him asking a stranger for directions to California.

  3. Aug 3

    Little Brother (2026)

    Well... it finally happened. After 137 episodes, Jacob disappeared. No, he didn't die. No, he didn't get abducted by aliens. And despite what Brad claimed, he didn't punch Brad in the face over Joker 2... although listeners aren't ruling it out. Enter Mark. Brad claims he searched the globe for a new co-host. We assume that means he Googled "guy willing to watch terrible movies for free" and somehow Mark answered. Within the first ten minutes, Mark had already: Been insulted by Jacob in the live chat.Learned Brad's nickname is "Baby Hands."Been introduced to MTD, who apparently trained Jason Voorhees... according to absolutely no verified historical records. Then they actually tried talking about Little Brother... ...for about six minutes. After that the episode somehow became: A Tom Hanks career retrospective.A Star Wars debate.A discussion about hologram concerts.Brad's traumatic Cast Away date where his date narrated the entire movie to the theater.Mark Wahlberg somehow getting cast in a movie he wasn't even in.And a serious investigation into whether John Cena accepted the role without reading the script. Meanwhile, the actual movie sat quietly in the corner wondering if anyone remembered it existed. The best part? Mark fit in immediately. By the end of the episode he was already roasting the movie, questioning Netflix's budget, and politely wondering how they had spent nearly 35 minutes talking about literally everything except Little Brother. That's when you know he's officially part of Movie Torture.

  4. Jul 27

    Halloween: Resurrection (With Special Guest Johnathan)

    On this week's episode the guys are joined by special guest Johnathan as he returns for more torture this time with Michael Myers. The guys talk about how bad the mask looks in this movie, how Roger hasn't seen a horror movie since the 90's, Producer Gary talks about the Rob Zombie Halloween, Why is Jamie Leigh Curtis in this movie? The guys also wonder if Busta Rhymes did his own Kung Fu in this movie and why is Gary wearing a Michael Myers mask during the podcast? Plus, Johnathan proposes a Michael Myers multiverse. Halloween: Resurrection stars, Jamie Leigh Curtis, Busta Rhymes, Bianca Kajlich; Directed by, Rick Rosenthall Slide into our DM's on IG @movietorturepod Email the show at movietorturepod@gmail.com Hosted by: Roger E., Brad L., Gary G. This Podcast is brought to you by Hopecast

    Halloween: Resurrection (With Special Guest Johnathan)

  5. Jul 20

    Cursed with Special Guest Hannah

    On this week's episode the guys are joined by the First Lady of Movie Torture Hannah as they discuss the werewolf movie from 2005 "Cursed". Hannah lets the guys know that she spent over 3 hours watching bad movies over the weekend. Producer Gary thinks he can beat Brad up in a fight while Roger tells a story about a fight he had with no clothes just a sock. Plus they talk about how the people in this movie would be Metoo'd if they worked today. follow us on IG movietorturepod email us movietorturepod@gmail.com This podcast is brought to you by Hopecast Hosted by: Roger E., Brad L., Gary G. Hannah M.

    Cursed with Special Guest Hannah

  6. Jul 13

    Friday the 13th (2009) with Special Guest Ashley and MTD

    On this episode the gang tackles the 2009 slasher "Friday the 13th" and they are joined by new cast member Ashley, host of Lox of Laughs on the Hopecast Network. They start by wondering why this movie was even made. They talk about how most of the people in this movie aren't likable and that you actually root for Jason in this movie. Ashley talks about meeting one of the stars of this movie at an audition and how that went. Plus, Brad wonders how much time Jason spends in the gym and what if MTD was his trainer. Could MTD be the new slasher's trainer? This is a funny episode about a movie that is bonkers. Follow Movie Torture here: https://www.instagram.com/movietorturepod/ This show is brought to you by The Hopecast Network https://www.instagram.com/hopecastnetwork/

  7. Jul 6

    Santa Jaws with Producer Gary

    In this episode of Movie Torture, the guys welcome Producer Gary to discuss the movie Santa Jaws, a truly bonkers movie and low-budget sci-fi horror film. They critique the acting, plot, and special effects, noting the lack of realism and the confusing storyline. They also discuss the characters and their questionable decisions. The guys find humor in the absurdity of the film, including the concept of a shark with a Santa hat and the use of Christmas-themed weapons. Santa Jaws is a campy and absurd holiday shark movie that received mixed reviews. While some viewers found it hilariously bad and enjoyed its over-the-top storyline and dialogue, others thought it was terrible and poorly executed. The movie follows the story of a boy who accidentally creates a comic book that brings a killer shark, Santa Jaws, to life. The characters and special effects were not well-developed, but the name Santa Jaws was widely praised. Leave us a review on iTunes and Spotify. This podcast is brought to you by Hopecast Network ⁠https://www.instagram.com/workadviceforme/⁠ Follow Movie Torture here: https://www.instagram.com/movietorturepod/

  8. Jun 29

    Elektra with Special Guest Blumhouse Trent

    On this week's episode the guys are joined by Blumhouse Trent to talk about the stinker "Elektra" They wonder how Larry The Cable Guy would be as Elektra, Brad wonders about the Blind leader she has. Do you trust a blind cook? They talk about the bad CGI and Brad again wonders why anyone would take their kids to a blind karate teacher, and how does he play pool so well? Where does this movie rank on the worst list? Plus, they wonder where Producer Gary would fit in this movie. Check out our sponsor: Generouscoffee.com follow us on IG movietorturepod email us movietorturepod@gmail.com This podcast is brought to you by Hopecast Hosted by: Roger E., Brad L., Gary G. Trent R.

    Elektra with Special Guest Blumhouse Trent
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Join Brad, Mark and MTD as they tackle movies you may not want to watch, laugh a lot, and figure out if this movie is movie torture or movie gold..

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