Fifty-minute talk-therapy isn’t the only option. Alisa Donaldson on depth, mind-body connection, and why it’s time to drag your inner "exiles" into the game. Too often, we resort to a one-size-fits-all approach. In school, everyone is supposed to sit at their desks listening quietly to the lesson. In business, “this is how we do it” is repeated over and over again. Which is where Alisa Donaldson comes in. She has brought a creative approach to therapy. One that expands your options. As she says, “It’s so much more than learning the right “tools” and “coping techniques. It’s freedom…from automatic-ness that keeps you distant from your desires.” I was 19 when I first saw a therapist. I stayed with it for almost two years. Yet, nothing changed. Truthfully, I was afraid to be honest. Fearing therapist judgment, I kept a lot to myself. When I turned 30, I was still struggling, so I went back. I’ve spent time with five different therapists. One was stellar. The others were okay. I learned some tools and coping techniques, but my life didn’t change. Then I met Alisa. She expanded my understanding of what therapy can be. “There is no one-size-fits-all therapy approach, method, mode,” she says on the Equal Matters podcast. “And unfortunately, there is this assumption that the usual way that things are done is the way, or perhaps the best way. And I just don’t think that lines up with our observation of humans and how complex and intricately multifaceted the human experience can be. So we better have options. We better have a variety.” She offers traditional therapy models, but also offers ‘intensives’ with her clients. A half-day or full-day session. Even a weekend retreat to dig in deeper, diagnose the root causes, and transform your life. “Feeling good after a session, yeah, of course. You should have that,” Alisa says. But “are we seeing genuine transformation happening in your life, or are we not?” The traditional model says working with the mind is the way to transformation. I found that wasn’t true. “My preferred method is with the body,” she adds. “Bringing the body on board, and allowing yourself to feel a particular emotion. But then with the EMDR process, what that will do is bring to mind, so, like, from the, the, the subconscious into the conscious, pieces of that memory network that, that are having influence.” The mind-body connection EMDR stands for Eye Movement Desensitization and Reprocessing. This bilateral stimulation helps you reprocess big, emotional memories. Reprocessing moves ‘trauma’ into a more neutral state so they don’t carry as much emotional weight. In this conversation, she also mentions the term exiles. Parts of us that carry our hurt and pain. Maybe it’s fear or past trauma. “We can have inner exiles, which is like a part of us that we really don’t want to relate to. And there’s always a good reason. The real effect of therapy is helping to reengage and provide connection, like interconnections with various parts of self.” This is where Alisa brings in the Internal Family Systems (IFS) model. This model knows your mind isn’t one single entity. It is made up of several different parts. Parts Alisa helps us connect with. “It’s about connection. It’s about being in relationship with.” In my own post-therapy work, I’ve learned that it is not healthy to shut off the parts of myself I’ve labeled ‘bad.’ Growth that has allowed me to see myself as a whole, not put half of myself in a box and keep it hidden. Enjoy this conversation. At the very least, it will expand what you may know about therapy. You may discover different options, especially if you’ve been to therapy and the traditional fifty-minute talk model hasn’t transformed your life. “Time to say “$%*& to that,” and get the aliveness you are meant for. To learn more about Alisa’s approach, visit her website here. Subscribe to Equal Matters to support storytelling and learning new approaches to flow with life.
