Wake Your Dream

Annaliese Seaborn
  • 5.0 (2)
  • Self-Improvement
  • Weekly

Join Annaliese Seaborn, Certified Professional Life Coach, on this bi-weekly podcast as she talks with her husband Alan about growth, how your brain works, and how to make shifts in your thoughts and actions in an everyday way that can help you make real changes and create a life you love.

  1. Oct 21

    129 - Help... I'm Procrastinating Again!

    Annaliese and Alan talk about the habit of procrastinating and how to handle those moments in better ways. We often think procrastination is a lack of motivation or willpower, but it usually has a hidden layer: avoiding hard emotions. Learn how to get curious about why you reach for procrastination, so you can stop yourself from falling into it. You’ll Hear About: The real reason you procrastinate: We usually blame laziness, perfectionism, or not feeling ready. But deeper down, we picture that doing "the thing" will make us feel something we don’t want to feel. No amount of willpower, desire, or passion can push us through an emotion we’re avoiding! So we need to support ourselves a different way. Getting curious about what you don’t like to feel: Is it insecurity, vulnerability, rejection, judgment, or something else? When you think about feeling these, you may notice fear, dread, or irritability in you. Getting familiar with these early cues in yourself helps you catch procrastination before it starts. Why running away leads to dead ends: Procrastination tries to be helpful by giving you space from something you’re responsible for. But running away only leaves you stuck. That's why your Step 1 is to not run away, but stay: stay curious, slow down, and notice what you’re truly feeling and assuming. It’s about relating to yourself more supportively, not about willpower. HELP YOURSELF OUT OF PROCRASTINATION: Get curious about the story in you that’s getting in your own way. What are your typical procrastination clues? Body and feeling clues: Nervous, mild dread, unsettled, pressured, slight panic Thought clues: “I don’t have it in me,” “It’s going to take forever,” “It’s not a big deal,” “I have to do it right” Behavior clues: Avoiding, distracting, dismissing, ghosting, withdrawing What can help: Approach it relationally, not with willpower: Ask and answer: which part of me needs stress release? which part feels alone and needs connection with me? which part needs my permission and empowerment to try it differently? Then ask, “What am I avoiding, and what’s one reason why? Here’s one way I can help myself with that.” Make it comforting: Make a drink you love or light your favorite candle as you begin. It can bring the pressure down. Try the 5-minute rule: Engage for just 5 minutes, then let yourself stop or continue as you feel in the moment. Notice what that gave you.  Build confidence in small steps: Not interrupting the procrastination pattern undermines your confidence over time. It can feel like a power move to procrastinate, but it's making you feel less capable of handling your responsibilities. So shake it up a little - check in, get curious about your thoughts and feelings, and find one small way to support yourself differently in the moment. Your Free Coaching Call: Have your own coaching session with Annaliese! Schedule your FREE, 1-hour Discovery Chat at www.linktree.com/coachannaliese. Share the change you’re hoping to make, and Annaliese will help you find tips using what you already have.

  2. Oct 7

    128 - Help... I'm People-Pleasing Again!

    Do you say yes when you really mean no? Annaliese and Alan talk about how to catch and help yourself when you find yourself people-pleasing. You might think it's just normal for you, that you "can't" make your own choice, or that the situation called for it. But people-pleasing behavior is something you have choices about, and you have more capability to navigate your life in ways that feel better with others and go better for you. WHAT YOU'LL HEAR ABOUT: Where it can start: People-pleasing habits usually begin in childhood, when we got messages that being ourselves could create disconnection or discomfort with other people. We learned to feel responsible for other people's moods and needs, and now we don't even question it. Does this track for you? How to tune in: Practice noticing in the moment how your actions truly feel to you - are you acting in a way that feels aligned and "right" for you, or in a way that feels "off"? This deeper "knowing" shows you a way out. Why it doesn't work: People-pleasing doesn't get you the protection and connection you're trying to get, because we can't control other people or what they give us. It's hard to learn, but you'll find a lot of the love and safety you're trying to get from others, you were made to give yourself. PRACTICES: What Helps You Let Go of People-Pleasing You can't get the connection and safety you're after with people-pleasing. You can only get it by being your true self, and you can only be your true self if you begin validating and pouring into yourself for your own sake. The more you actively care for yourself and your experience in the moment, the more you open up to the love you want to give and be given. Practice giving and receiving validation and love inside yourself. Look at who you are and what you bring as valuable. Celebrate what you contribute to people and to the moment. Care about your own experience in the moment, not just others. Give yourself time to reflect on what you're experiencing, and offer yourself support to validate and connect with your own desire and value. You're allowed to experiment. Disappointing other people sometimes needs to be okay. You get disappointed by others and can accept that, so they can accept you being a person too. Check that you're not living in a double standard. Ask yourself: What do I really want to say here? What choice would make me admire how I showed up? Would I want this person to be honest with me? How to Notice People-Pleasing Actions motivated by staying socially "safe" and accepted, or by trying to prevent negative interactions and keep people from feeling negatively toward you. Focusing only on what someone else needs, how they might react, or what they might experience, with no focus on your own experience or the impact of your actions on yourself. Not being aware of what you experience around other people. Your Free Coaching Call: Have your own coaching session with Annaliese! Visit www.linktree.com/coachannaliese to schedule your FREE, 1-hour Discovery Chat. Share the change you're hoping to make, and Annaliese will help you gain helpful tips using what you already have to make it happen. WANT MORE PEOPLE-PLEASING EPISODES? Episode 16: People-Pleasing, Procrastination, and Prioritizing Yourself https://wakeyourdream.podbean.com/e/16-people-pleasing-procrastination-and-prioritizing-yourself/ Episode 24: People-Pleasing: Why You Do It And How To Do It Less https://wakeyourdream.podbean.com/e/24-people-pleasing-why-you-do-it-and-how-to-do-it-less/ Episode 25: Daily, Practical Ways To Stop People-Pleasing https://wakeyourdream.podbean.com/e/25-daily-practical-ways-to-stop-people-pleasing/

  3. Sep 23

    127 - Help... I'm In Perfectionism Again!

    Annaliese and Alan talk about how to help yourself when you're finding yourself stuck in perfectionism again. Perfectionism can make you feel like you're being excellent, thorough, or dependable, and like if you don't do something perfectly then you're not doing things the "right" way. But if we don't notice this bait-and-switch, it ends up draining our energy. Learn how to catch more quickly when you're in this mode so you can help yourself swap out perfectionism in the moment for authentically doing your best in your life. What You'll Hear About Perfectionism acts like it will help you be your most excellent self, but it usually makes you feel like you have to remove more and more parts of yourself to fit in the perfection box. It's not making you a better you, it's making you less you. Perfectionism fixates on performance. We think we need to do something flawlessly in order to be valuable, but the most supportive people in our lives would tell us our value is in us just being ourselves, not being flawless. Perfectionism makes your inner life more chaotic, even if outwardly it looks like it's working great. It usually makes you feel paralyzed, suffocated, and trapped along the way, no matter what your external outcomes are. No performance you do in the moment will ever control the outcomes you can't control. Your antidote is less about never doing perfectionism, and more about letting yourself be human again: accepting reality in the moment and giving yourself the kind of genuine support you can tell you need. Practices:   Help Yourself Spot Perfectionism: How do you feel as you're doing something, or about to do it? Notice and tend to your inner experience, just like you notice your outer experience. Is perfectionism actually giving you what it promises? Do you feel satisfied deep down, aligned, or peaceful? Ruminating on mistakes: Notice if you keep repeating thoughts of mistakes, even perceived ones. Step out of this exhausting cycle by choosing a better-feeling thought, like "Mistakes are proof that I'm living my life" or "Mistakes give me data." Resistance to experimenting, resting, creativity, etc.: Perfectionism sees curiosity and creativity as a threat to control. That's your clue to pause, take slow, deep breaths, and take charge of your moment again. Avoiding acting on anything unless you feel mastery, certainty, or control: Perfectionism acts like a quality standard, but it stops you from trying much at all. Get curious about what might feel like a better standard for living your life more fully. Simple Ways To Let Go Of Perfectionism: Don't just intellectualize it. Knowing you can't be "perfect" is great, but also practice treating yourself more lovingly, gently, and supportively as you go through challenges or make mistakes. Get curious about what perfectionism is trying to gain you or protect you from in the moment. Listen for the important reasons underneath so you can support yourself more effectively. Life takes experimenting. Be willing to experiment. Notice where you struggle most with perfectionism, brainstorm thoughts and actions that truly serve you, and practice small. Think 2% better. Get more regularly affirming of your own humanity. Practice gratefulness for your efforts, celebrate even your tiniest wins, and remind yourself this is your life to build, and you don't have to do it in ways that separate you from who you are!       Your Free Coaching Call Have your own coaching session with Annaliese! Visit www.linktree.com/coachannaliese to schedule your FREE, 1-hour Discovery Chat. Share the change you're hoping to make in your life and Annaliese will help you gain helpful tips using what you already have to make them happen.

  4. Sep 9

    126 - Help... I'm Overthinking Again!

    Annaliese and Alan talk about how to help yourself when you get stuck in overthinking again. Overthinking is a pattern we can slip into when we might feel insecure, uncertain, out of control, or stressed and we're trying to "fix" something. Scrambling or withdrawing up into our heads to try to figure out life instead of living it out doesn't get us the security, protection, success, or resolution that we're trying to get! Here's how to step out of overthinking and into engaging with your life in ways that actually get you better results. What You'll Hear About: Get involved in your thought life. Don't just let it play. You don't have to have all the answers in order to begin to respond to your thoughts — help your nagging questions feel seen and handled by you, one at a time. Overthinking without interrupting it leads to building assumptions about life that you'll find aren't even be real or true. Your perspective changes as you engage with reality in an active, outer way, not overplanning it in your head. What started in your head to protect you will just leave you feeling disconnected from your life if you don't pause it and actively try something else. A great gateway out of overthinking is to physically write out whatever thoughts are piling in your head. This helps you "download" your thoughts instead of feeling crushed under the pile — you don't need to do anything with them yet. What Do I Do When I'm Overthinking Again? Notice when you reach for overthinking as a "tool." Get curious in the moment: Why am I reaching for overthinking here? What do I think overthinking is helping me gain, plan, figure out, or protect? What's my aim? Stay curious about the questions spinning in your head. Notice if you're only letting your brain bring up questions without actually getting involved yourself — you'll recognize when the questions aren't feeling helpful anymore, just piling up. You can't think your life. You need to live your life. Interrupt the spiral by engaging with your thoughts instead of generating more of them — answer the piled-up questions one at a time and sense the shift in your energy. Overwhelm is made up of a combo of overthinking and underacting — so how can you take action on one or two of the thoughts that have piled up or are repeating in your head? Your Free Coaching Call: Have your own coaching session with Annaliese! Visit www.linktree.com/coachannaliese to schedule your FREE, 1-hour Discovery Chat. Share the change you're hoping to make in your life and Annaliese will help you gain helpful tips using what you already have to make them happen.

  5. Aug 26

    125 - Working With The Story In Your Head

    Annaliese and Alan talk about becoming more aware of the stories playing in your head—the beliefs and thought patterns that are shaping and informing your emotions, expectations, relationships, and choices. Does it ever seem like the ways you think about yoruself and your life are automatically driving how you feel and what you do? Maybe you often find yourself thinking, “I’m the responsible one,” “Bad things always happen to me,” “I don’t need anyone,” or “Work has to be hard.” Listen in today to learn what you can do to begin to change the story and open the door to a better feeling life. Your story helped you once, but maybe not now. Many of our thought patterns developed when we were doing the best we could with the age, experiences, and circumstances we had. Even an unhelpful story often began as an attempt at self-protection, self-reliance, or self-punishment (to try to prevent rejection from others). You can approach those patterns with more gratitude, compassion, and softness while recognizing that you have more wisdom and capability you can bring to yourself today. Every story is trying to help you. Instead of immediately trying to “fix” your thoughts, get curious about what your story is trying to protect, prevent, produce, or punish - this shows you the kind of help you truly feel you need in the moment. Your old way of helping yourself may not be the way you need or want to help yourself today. You can use the information you're learning from the old story as a way to put together a better story for yourself - lovingly, daily, and piece by piece.  Find and work with the story in your head. Name your go-to story. Notice how it affects your mood, expectations, relationships, and sense of available choices. Check in with your thought life. Ask, “Where are my thoughts right now? What’s my mood right now? Why?” Pause before automatically reacting. Remind yourself: “I don’t have to do it this way. Just hang on a second…what would I rather choose?” The goal isn't to create a perfect new story overnight. It's to become more aware, compassionate, and intentional so you can begin choosing thoughts and actions that better support the human you are and the life you truly value. Your Free Coaching Call: -Have your own coaching session with Annaliese! Visit www.linktree.com/coachannaliese to schedule your FREE, 1-hour Discovery Chat. Share the change you’re hoping to make in your life and Annaliese will help you gain helpful tips using what you already have to make them happen.

  6. Aug 12

    124 - Your Life Is More In Your Control Than You Think

    What does it really mean to take full ownership of your life? Annaliese and Alan share how it's not by having all the answers, forcing the "right" outcomes, or avoiding all uncertainty and chaos. Real control actually grows when you pay closer attention to how things are genuinely going inside you and around you, and posture yourself to remember you're the one capable and in charge of handling the choices, attitudes, and thoughts that are actually yours in the moment. Why We Lose Our Sense of Agency We tend to lose our sense of capability when we pour our energy into arguing with where we are, instead of focusing on what we can do and what we actually have in our hands to work with. You already carry wisdom, clarity, and helpful ideas for yourself that you might be leaving on the table — you're invited to pause, breathe, and remember who you are. Believing "I can't have that unless I have this" is the story that shapes what's limiting our relationship with life itself, and that often keeps you from stepping into your own birthright posture of agency. What True Ownership Looks Like It's a balance of accepting reality and honoring the real wisdom of how life works, while reminding yourself you have the capability and authority to make your next choice. Full ownership is reminding you your mistakes and your wins matter — your missteps are often a guide for clarity, showing you exactly what's making a plan miss the mark. Choosing humility over self-blame — "This is my mistake, I'm getting in my own way here" — opens up the empowering next step: "If I contributed to this, I can also contribute to repairing it." If you never own the mistake, you won't feel clarity or empowerment for a better choice! Practices to Try Slow down and actually reflect on your choices: Does this feel constructive? Authentic? Fearful or limiting? Is it bringing more balance, or pulling you off track? Position yourself as a loving guide and owner of your life, not a manager or police officer of your own behavior — get curious instead of controlling. Meet regret or guilt with care and curiosity: "What do I wish I'd done? What might I try differently next time?" You may even find you're proud of how you handled something, imperfections and all. Return often to your focusing question: "Does this feel constructive?" — Use this as a simple, honest check-in that shows you what to keep and what to change.

  7. Jul 29

    123 - Handling Your Own Reactive Moments Better

    Annaliese and Alan dig into what it really looks like to handle your emotional reactions live — in real time, not just after the fact. If you've ever felt regret or guilt over how you reacted, maybe even disappointed in yourself for not acting like the person you want to be, this episode is for you. The surprising thing is, you don't have to "fix" your feelings first in order to handle them better. PRACTICING REACTING LESS: We take blame too far, too fast, when we're in a reactive moment — but there are ways to handle it that honor who we truly are. You can't force power, safety, or control back into a moment, but you can reclaim a little more of it by practicing pausing before you act. Start this transformational experiment for yourself with these three tools: Slow down, stop, hold. Pause before you act. Hold your body in place — it signals safety to yourself instead of leaving yourself alone and frantic in the discomfort. Notice your Stress Scale. Name your emotion and rate the intensity 1–5. You can't skip it, but naming and listening to it helps you move through it. Use the "micromoment" you have. Make a circle with your hand and look at it — a physical reminder that you have one micromoment before you act, and you get to take charge of it. It's yours to use differently. THE MAGIC QUESTION: -How would someone handle this reactive moment in a way I admire? Your answer will show you your own wisdom. It points you back toward what matters to you — without "having to" turn against yourself, the other person, or the situation. Book your own free 1-hour Discovery Chat: www.linktree.com/coachannaliese - Share what you're hoping to make change in and Annaliese will help you gain helpful tips to use what you already have to make progress!

  8. Jul 15

    122 - Why Noticing And Awareness Are Key For Growth

    Annaliese and Alan talk about a simple but powerful truth: real change doesn't start with a plan — it starts with noticing. Before you can set a goal, break a habit, or shift a relationship pattern, you need honest awareness of where you actually are, what you're feeling, and what you're working with right now. Listen in to explore how practicing your own skill of noticing — and continuing to practice it throughout your journey — helps you stay connected to your real discernment and choices as you make changes. By using your own muscile of noticing, you'll build awareness to help your way be smoother and more aligned, and help yourself feel more confident and effective as you meet your goal. The Value Of Noticing What You Notice  It shows you, at any moment, your feelings, thoughts, and the story in your head. This helps you: Support yourself better Give yourself space to actually discern where you're spending your energy Give yourself the ability to experience slowness and safety along the way of meeting your goal or making your change, so you don't go into survival mode as you pursue it Practicing Noticing and Awareness as Step One Of Your Plan You matter in this process of meeting your goal. Your goal or change is supposed to be there to serve you, not the other way around. Being willing to use more of your primary energy — the energy you'd normally spend pushing toward a goal — toward noticing your inner world and the experience you're having in the moment helps you also get honest about motivation. When you're trying to manufacture motivation to push through and stick with the plan, you might really need to feel more connection with yourself in the moment. Here's how: 1. Slow down. 2. Learn to find your antenna and point it inward instead of out. 3. Stop and listen first to your own answer and wisdom for you. Simple Noticing Practice: Re-posture + Re-prioritize Re-posture — What's my position in myself? Am I being intentional about my choice? Am I leaning too far forward, mainly driving/striving? Am I leaning too far back, mainly avoiding/procrastinating? Am I standing in charge of my next step? Re-prioritize — Am I letting my own experience matter right now? Am I willing to re-order my day if I notice something I need to be different? Am I letting myself change my mind, as I discern? Am I giving myself permission to choose the priorities I'll attend to as needed? * Ready to apply this in your own life? Schedule your own free 1-hour Discovery Chat with Annaliese at linktree.com/coachannaliese to begin to tackle your changes or create a goal plan that actually has a chance to work for you.

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About

Join Annaliese Seaborn, Certified Professional Life Coach, on this bi-weekly podcast as she talks with her husband Alan about growth, how your brain works, and how to make shifts in your thoughts and actions in an everyday way that can help you make real changes and create a life you love.

Information

  • Creator
    Annaliese Seaborn
  • Years Active
    2023 - 2026
  • Episodes
    130
  • Rating
    Clean
  • Copyright
    © Copyright 2023 All rights reserved.
  • Show Website
    Wake Your Dream