The Personal Success Podcast with Ryan Watts

Ryan Watts

We explore the paths to living authentically, finding fulfillment, and defining success on your own terms.

  1. 2d ago

    #184 - Dan Shapiro on Chess, Confidence, and Kids Who Don't Fit the Mold

    Not every kid finds their confidence on a field, a stage, or a court. Dan Shapiro's son found his across sixty-four squares. Dan Shapiro has spent nearly three decades in the investment industry. When remote school arrived in 2020, he and his wife started noticing things in their younger son that were hard to watch. Distraction that would not lift. Not responding to his name. Walking in circles in his room. The family went looking for help and came back with a term Dan had never heard before: twice exceptional. Bright kids whose brains work differently, and who are very capable, but for whom it can be hard to get it all together. What followed was not a rescue plan. It was after-school chess club. In this conversation with Ryan, Dan explains why he wanted his son to have at least one thing he could be genuinely good at, the best in his immediate surroundings, and why chess turned out to be that thing. He walks through chess notation, the habit of writing down every decision you and your opponent make so you can review it afterward and improve, and he makes the case that if that were the only skill a kid took from the game, it would still be worth it. Dan also did something most parents skip. He started taking chess lessons himself, once a week, so his son would not have to love something alone. The conversation moves into blitz chess and pre-moving, where a player executes ten moves in a second because the outcome is already known, and Dan ties it to Sully Sullenberger landing in the Hudson in roughly the same span as a blitz game after a lifetime of preparation. It moves into a hard stretch at Nationals in Baltimore where his son lost two games in a row, knew the math had taken a medal off the table, went to bed early, and won the rest. It moves into a yo-yo, a three-week sleepaway camp, and a Foo Fighters cover sung in front of the whole camp after twenty hours of practice. And then Ryan turns it toward work. If a father can misjudge his own son's best use, what are the rest of us doing with the people we lead? Dan's answer is one line long: do not be afraid to move the pieces around. Dan's book, Decoding Genius: The Unexpected Lessons of After-School Chess Club, arrives in August 2026. In this episode 00:00 Meet Dan Shapiro 01:24 What remote school revealed 02:16 What "twice exceptional" means 03:51 Wrestling with the label 07:27 Why sports and music were not the fit 07:50 One thing they can be the best at 10:56 Chess notation, or how to review your own decisions 14:37 Memory as the raw material of creativity 16:58 Writing the book he wished he had 18:52 Blitz chess, pre-moving, and Sullenberger 22:47 Losing two in a row at Nationals 25:12 Yo-yo, camp, and a Foo Fighters cover 33:35 Flow, meditation, and a pre-move checklist 36:20 Genius made, not born 50:36 The leadership translation 52:45 The paper airplane talent show 56:30 Chess as the third option 59:29 Where to find the book About Dan Shapiro Dan Shapiro has worked in the investment industry for nearly three decades and has served as a volunteer and board member for many nonprofit organizations. He is a musician, home cook, wine collector, and vintage guitar collector. He lives in Philadelphia with his wife and two sons. His book, Decoding Genius: The Unexpected Lessons of After-School Chess Club, draws on his son's experience in after-school chess club and on the history, players, and habits of mind that have made the game a training ground for fifteen hundred years. Early reviews have come from Kirkus Reviews and IndieReader. Connect with Dan Book and free parent companion: https://www.decodinggeniusbook.com LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/~dan-shapiro/ Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/decoding.genius/ Connect with Ryan Watts Website: https://www.ryanwattscoaching.com Podcast: https://www.ryanwattscoaching.com/thepersonalsuccesspodcast LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/ryanwattsmba YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@ryanwattslifecoaching Have a story worth telling? Apply to be a guest on The Personal Success Podcast: https://www.ryanwattscoaching.com/podapp If this conversation was useful, follow The Personal Success Podcast so the next one finds you.

    #184 - Dan Shapiro on Chess, Confidence, and Kids Who Don't Fit the Mold
  2. Aug 10

    #183 - Why Success Isn't Enough: Larry Kesslin on Joy and Identity

    Larry Kesslin achieved his own definition of success and found out it was not enough. He had defined it at 28 as the ability to do what he wanted whenever he wanted. Twenty years later he spent a month in rural villages in eastern and northern Uganda, met people with almost nothing who were plainly happier than he was, and came home understanding that his definition had a hole in it. In this conversation with Ryan Watts, he lays out what he put in its place: joy comes from knowing what you are, who you are, and why you are here, in that order, and it deepens through real connection with other people. Larry is a coach, speaker, and author of The Joy Molecule and Success Redefined. He left the corporate world in 1993 after a week in Aspen with 85 inner city kids, built and sold businesses, ran peer groups for fifteen years, and now works almost entirely within San Diego by choice, because he believes connection is built face to face. What this episode answers What is the difference between joy and happiness? Larry defines happiness as getting his needs met, and he has named those needs specifically so the definition stays achievable. Joy is different. Joy is knowing what you are, who you are, and why you are. His argument is that most people never define either word, which is why they keep chasing something they cannot describe. Can you be deeply aligned and still be unhappy? Yes, and Larry's answer to Ryan on this is the sharpest moment in the episode. If you have defined happiness in a way that cannot be achieved, alignment will not save you. He connects it to how we keep moving the goalposts and never let ourselves finish anything. Why does achievement stop feeling like enough? Because achievement and fulfillment were never the same problem. Larry traces his own version of that discovery through two moments, twenty years apart, where he met people with far less than he had who were carrying far more joy. Also in this conversation Why Larry says he is not Larry Kesslin, and what he means by calling it a character he plays The question that reorganized his life: what are you solving for? What happened when three questions at a conference in Mexico took apart his definition of poverty The difference between a coach and a consultant, in his words Why he refuses to ask anyone what they do, and the deck of 54 questions he built to replace it Sky, clouds, and weather, and why identifying with your thoughts makes life harder than it needs to be What separates thinking from knowing Ryan on the subtractive process of putting down the masks he had picked up Connect with Larry Kesslin Website: https://5-dots.com The Joy Molecule: https://thejoymolecule.com LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/larrykesslin Connect with Ryan Watts The Personal Success Podcast: https://www.ryanwattscoaching.com/thepersonalsuccesspodcast Ryan Watts Coaching: https://www.ryanwattscoaching.com LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/ryanwattsmba

    #183 - Why Success Isn't Enough: Larry Kesslin on Joy and Identity
  3. Aug 6

    Bonus: Leadership Fatigue: The Internal Negotiation No One Sees | Skot Waldron Interviews Ryan Watts

    Most leaders who feel worn down are not failing. They are running a constant internal negotiation about whether a decision is really theirs to make, and that negotiation is where the energy goes. This week is a role reversal. Ryan sits in the guest chair while Skot Waldron, internal communication strategist and host of Unlocked, asks the questions. What follows is the clearest account Ryan has given of the work he actually does. Skot opens with the thing most leadership development skips: the problem usually is not a missing skill. Ryan traces it back to his own corporate career, when he read every book on the shelf and still went home replaying conversations. The language finally arrived during a six-hour session with a friend who owns a marketing company, and it reframed everything: the work is resolving an internal negotiation, and what comes out the other side is calm authority and momentum that does not require force. From there the conversation gets specific. Why "you're not paying in failure, you're paying in fatigue" is the real tell. Why conviction tends to come before confidence, and why "confidence is certainty of self" rather than certainty of outcome. What it looks like when a leader is quietly waiting for permission they already have. The moment on a date, years ago, when someone asked Ryan a question so simple it embarrassed him into seeing it. Skot pushes on the part that is easy to miss: sometimes the tension is doing something for you. Staying in it can be cheaper than the conversation that would end it. Ryan's answer is that the fear is usually Pandora's box, and what is actually on the other side is"a blank spot in the leader"on the other side of the table, someone waiting to be led there. They also get into healthy discipline versus force, whether a leader can be effective while internally misaligned (yes, and here is what it costs), and the image Ryan keeps returning to: a high-performance car with your foot on the gas and the brake at the same time. The car moves. It is not good for the car. The closing action is small and not comfortable. Have the conversation with yourself first. Take it down two levels past the email you keep rewriting. Then name the tension. Key moments 03:33 Where the language of internal negotiation came from 06:08 Not paying in failure, paying in fatigue 07:43 Conviction first, confidence follows 11:33 The question that ended one leader's overthinking 13:16 What the tension might be doing for you 15:08 The blank spot, and people waiting to be led 16:58 The hidden question: is this within my authority? 24:12 Healthy discipline versus unhealthy force 25:35 Performing leadership versus embodying it 30:24 Foot on the gas and the brake 35:53 The first move: name the tension Mentioned in this episode John Maxwell. Good to Great by Jim Collins. Chase Hughes on authority and human behavior. Andy Stanley on tensions to manage rather than problems to solve. Connect with Skot Waldron Website: https://skotwaldron.com Unlocked podcast: https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/unlocked-with-skot-waldron/id1680026365 YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@skotwaldron Connect with Ryan Watts Website: https://www.ryanwattscoaching.com LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/ryanwattsmba YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@ryanwattslifecoaching The Personal Success Podcast Apple: https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/the-personal-success-podcast-with-ryan-watts/id1699785392 Spotify: https://open.spotify.com/show/0poXmaxpjA6ViNDy1KOh9c Show page: https://www.ryanwattscoaching.com/thepersonalsuccesspodcast New conversations every week. Follow the show wherever you listen.

    Bonus: Leadership Fatigue: The Internal Negotiation No One Sees | Skot Waldron Interviews Ryan Watts
  4. Aug 3

    #182 - Julian Reeve: Perfectionism, Burnout, and the Identity AI Cannot Copy

    Julian Reeve was the music director on the first national tour of Hamilton. Three months into the job, at 43, he had a stress-related heart attack. He was diagnosed on a Sunday, received two stents, and was back conducting ten days later. In this conversation, Julian tells Ryan Watts what he found underneath it. Working with a psychologist, he traced the heart attack to years of lifestyle choices driven by low self-esteem, workaholism, and perfectionism. That perfectionism went back to his first piano lesson at four years old, when a mistake became, in his mind, an opportunity to be loved less. Two years later, a repetitive strain injury ended his performing career altogether. He talks openly about what he actually lost: the job, the leadership, and eventually, joy. He also names something most high performers never get to say out loud, which is that there were no obvious warning signs, because running that hard was simply what he did. The second half of the conversation moves to what Julian works on now. He calls it Unmistakable Identity: the intentional synthesis of identity, creativity, and judgment. His argument is that as AI absorbs more output, differentiated human contribution becomes the thing that gets noticed, and that it starts with knowing yourself far earlier and far better than most of us do. Ryan and Julian also cover the difference between control and coordination, why most leaders overestimate their own self-awareness, how to build precision without making people afraid to make mistakes, and what a leader should actually do on Monday when nobody has the answers yet. In this episode: Why the pain point usually arrives before the insight How to talk about sustainability as addition rather than subtraction Acceptance and permission as the two stages of mourning an identity Identity, creativity, and judgment, with a chef and Lin-Manuel Miranda as the worked examples Why "we value our people" is now a claim that has to be proven What Julian believes stays uniquely human Connect with Julian Reeve Website: https://www.julianreeve.com Free assessment, the Human Capability Indicator™: https://www.julianreeve.com/capabilityindicator LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/julianreeve/ Book, Captain Perfection & the Secret of Self-Compassion: https://www.julianreeve.com/captain-perfection Connect with Ryan Watts Coaching: https://www.ryanwattscoaching.com The Personal Success Podcast: https://www.ryanwattscoaching.com/thepersonalsuccesspodcast Apple: https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/the-personal-success-podcast-with-ryan-watts/id1699785392 Spotify: https://open.spotify.com/show/0poXmaxpjA6ViNDy1KOh9c YouTube: https://youtube.com/@thepersonalsuccesspodcast Mentioned in this episode: Insight by Tasha Eurich; The Gifts of Imperfection by Brené Brown; Julian's TEDx talk on perfectionism.

    #182 - Julian Reeve: Perfectionism, Burnout, and the Identity AI Cannot Copy
  5. Jul 27

    #181 - Inner State as Performance: J. Johnson Jr on Mental Frequency

    What if your next level does not begin with a better strategy…but with the state you bring to the starting line? In this episode of The Personal Success Podcast, Ryan Watts speaks with multidimensional athlete, inventor, and entrepreneur J Johnson Jr. about the relationship between consciousness, athletic performance, visualization, and action. J shares how a powerful meditation experience changed the way he understood himself and the world around him. He explains why our internal state influences what we notice, how we interpret our experiences, and the choices we make next. Drawing from his experience as a competitive sprinter, J explores what it means to prepare the mind before pressure arrives. He describes how visualization helps him rehearse each phase of a race…and why complete presence is essential when the starting gun fires. But an elevated state is not the finish line. You can visualize the future. You can feel inspired. You can believe something new is possible. Eventually, you still have to move. In this episode • J’s mission to contribute to greater peace in the world • How meditation changed his relationship with his mind • The difference between mood and intentional state • Why presence matters in life and athletic performance • How inherited beliefs shape our understanding of reality • The importance of becoming more intentional about what we consume • What sprinting taught J about discomfort and perceived limitations • Why the mind’s first message may not reflect your full capacity • How visualization prepares the body before competition • What it means to embody aspects of your future self today • Why changing your internal state does not automatically change your circumstances • How action turns insight into a tangible result • Why neutrality can help high performers remain steady when conditions change The central tension An internal shift can feel like progress. You may feel focused, inspired, grateful, or completely prepared. But feeling different is not the same as living differently. The internal friction is the quiet negotiation between inspiration and movement. You know what you want to do. You can imagine yourself doing it. But part of you is still waiting for more certainty, better conditions, or the right feeling. As J explains, you must meet the world halfway. Your state can prepare you for the action. It cannot take the action for you. A question to consider What physical action would make your current insight real? Choose one step you can complete today. Connect with J Johnson Jr. Explore J’s projects and resources Instagram YouTube X Facebook World Athletics profile Connect with The Personal Success Podcast Receive new conversations about success, personal growth, and human potential by joining the email list at thepersonalsuccesspodcast.com. Advertisement Steve Lang’s Aura Marketing Agency: Connect with Steve Lang on LinkedIn Listener note This episode contains personal perspectives on meditation, consciousness, nutrition, mental performance, and physical limits. These ideas are shared for reflection and education. They are not medical, nutritional, or athletic training advice.

    #181 - Inner State as Performance:  J. Johnson Jr on Mental Frequency
  6. Jul 20

    #180 - Healing Trauma Bonds: Somatic Work and Healthier Relationships With Nima Rahmany

    What if the ambition driving your success is also protecting a part of you that still feels unworthy, rejected, or afraid of being abandoned? In this episode of The Personal Success Podcast, Ryan Watts speaks with Nima Rahmany, a former chiropractor and the creator of the Trigger Proof methodology. Nima shares the personal breakdown that forced him to confront his anger, codependency, trauma bonds, and fear of abandonment. He explains why years of personal development did not change his deepest patterns…and how some forms of self improvement can become sophisticated ways of avoiding pain. Together, Ryan and Nima explore the relationship between the nervous system, emotional triggers, leadership, parenting, ambition, and secure connection. This conversation asks a difficult question: Are you leading from purpose…or is a frightened part of you still trying to prove that you are worthy? In this episode • Why Nima moved from treating physical symptoms to exploring their emotional roots • The moment that forced him to take responsibility for his anger and behavior • How personal development can become a form of self rejection • Why understanding a pattern intellectually may not change the body’s response • What your triggers may be trying to protect • How anger can protect shame, fear, rejection, and vulnerability • The difference between suppressing an emotion and learning to remain present with it • How unresolved attachment wounds can shape the partners we choose • Why criticism can activate an earlier version of ourselves • The relationship between ambition, validation, and the need to prove your worth • How fight, flight, freezing, and appeasing can appear in leadership • Why people pleasing prevents leaders from offering honest direction • How to recognize whether ambition feels driven by pressure or pulled by purpose • The three parts of the Trigger Proof process…regulate, integrate, and communicate • Why inner leadership shapes our ability to lead other people • What it means to become more capable of being misunderstood without abandoning yourself A central question from the conversation When something activates you, ask: “What am I making this mean about me?” The reaction may be connected to more than the present moment. It may be protecting a part of you that expects rejection, shame, abandonment, or the loss of belonging. Awareness creates space between the trigger and the response. That space gives you the opportunity to choose which part of you leads next. Connect with Nima Rahmany Trigger Proof website Free Attachment Style Quiz Trigger Proof methodology Free resources Becoming Trigger Proof book information and free chapter Instagram YouTube LinkedIn Trigger Proof Facebook community Trigger Proof Transmissions on Spotify TikTok Connect with The Personal Success Podcast Join the email list and explore more conversations about success, leadership, and becoming more fully yourself at thepersonalsuccesspodcast.com. Advertisement Steve Lang’s Aura Marketing Agency: Connect with Steve Lang on LinkedIn Listener note This episode includes candid discussion of intimate partner violence, childhood trauma, emotional distress, and relationship conflict. Please listen with care. The conversation reflects the personal experiences and perspectives of the participants. It is intended for educational purposes and is not a substitute for medical care, psychotherapy, diagnosis, or individualized mental health support.

    #180 - Healing Trauma Bonds: Somatic Work and Healthier Relationships With Nima Rahmany
  7. Jul 13

    #179 - Luxury Design and Family Legacy with Sebastian Saavedra

    Most people think luxury is about price. Sebastian Saavedra says it is about the people behind the product. He grew up watching his parents build businesses between Ecuador and Canada, and today he leads Metaval Canada, a brand carrying fifty years of Latin American craftsmanship into the North American market. This conversation is about what heritage actually teaches you that business school cannot. Luxury design, family legacy, and Latin American craftsmanship: Sebastian Saavedra explains how Metaval Canada brings 50 years of heritage into the North American market. Sebastian Saavedra is the CEO and Director of Operations for Metaval Canada, a luxury kitchen, closet, and bathroom design company rooted in Latin American craftsmanship and founded fifty years ago. The point of this conversation is that identity and heritage are not soft backstory, they are operational strategy. Sebastian explains how growing up between Ecuador and Canada shaped the way he runs a business, why branding matters more than product specs in the luxury market, and what carrying a family name actually demands of you as a leader. He also talks about the tension between rebellion and alignment that every second-generation entrepreneur recognizes, and what he most wants to be known for when the titles are stripped away. Chapters:0:00 Introduction and who Sebastian Saavedra is2:13 Growing up between Ecuador and Canada5:02 Being raised inside an entrepreneurial family10:58 How to differentiate a luxury brand12:16 The Metaval Toronto Showroom and what to expect16:06 Carrying a 50-year family legacy21:34 What craftsmanship teaches that business school cannot25:55 The work Sebastian most wants to be known for Links:Metaval Canada Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/metavalcanadaMetaval website: https://www.mataval.comThe Personal Success Podcast: https://www.thepersonalsuccesspodcast.comRyan Watts Coaching: https://www.ryanwattscoaching.com

    #179 - Luxury Design and Family Legacy with Sebastian Saavedra
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We explore the paths to living authentically, finding fulfillment, and defining success on your own terms.