The Mental Health Janitors

Aaron Quinonez and Jessica Burgans
  • 5.0 (3)
  • Mental Health
  • Updated Weekly

Faith-based trauma recovery for veterans, first responders, and the families who carry it with them. The Mental Health Janitors is hosted by Aaron "Sgt Q" Quinonez, a Marine 1st ANGLICO veteran who went from homeless and suicidal to founding a veteran nonprofit and a suicide-prevention tech company, and Jessica "Doc Jess" Burgans, an Army combat medic and Iraq War veteran who is now a Licensed Mental Health Counselor. Between them: two combat deployments, two PTSD diagnoses, and a clinical license. They've been where the audience is, and one of them is qualified to treat it. Every Tuesday they take on PTSD, ADHD, anxiety, marriage under strain, sleep that won't come, and the specific weight carried by people who ran toward things everyone else ran from.  The conversations are honest, Scripture-informed, and practical, real tools you can use this week, not platitudes. If you've been told to just get over it, or you've been quietly white-knuckling it for years, this is the show that says the thing out loud. New episodes every Tuesday

  1. 5d ago

    Emotional Regulation: Why Your Brain Makes You Assume the Worst

    Send us Fan Mail Are You Creating Battles That Were Never There? What happens when a simple misunderstanding turns into a full-blown emotional battle? In this episode of The Mental Health Janitors, Sgt. Q and Doc Jess get real about emotional regulation, emotional maturity, anger management, assumptions, parenting, therapy, and the stories our brains create when we don't have all the information. The conversation starts with a real-life veteran community conflict where a simple Facebook interaction spirals into accusations, defensiveness, and escalating emotions. Sgt. Q steps in with a powerful reminder: “Many of us veterans already carry enough battles with us. We don't need to create new ones with people who were never fighting us in the first place.” From there, they unpack why we assign motives to other people, how our brains fill in the gaps when information is missing, and why emotional maturity means learning to pause before reacting. The conversation then takes a deeper turn into therapy and counter-transference, exploring why therapists need self-awareness and why even mental-health professionals can struggle with emotional regulation. Then comes an “Am I the A-hole?” story about a 17-year-old who destroys an expensive gaming chair in anger—and then asks his parents to replace it. Sgt. Q and Doc Jess break down teenage anger, parenting, boundaries, consequences, gaming, emotional control, and parental responsibility, including one of the most important lessons of the episode: All feelings are welcome. Not all behaviors are. And ultimately, this episode isn't just about a Facebook argument, a broken gaming chair, or an angry teenager. It's about learning to recognize when your emotions are driving the story—and taking responsibility for what you do next. 🎧 Tune in for a conversation about emotional regulation, mental health, parenting, relationships, therapy, and learning how to stop fighting battles that were never yours. Episode Highlights • 01:00 How One Video Triggered a Powerful Memory • 02:45 From Spiraling Down to Spiraling Up • 04:00 Turning Painful Experiences Into Stories That Help Others • 10:03 When a Simple Facebook Post Turns Into a Conflict • 12:23 The Danger of Assuming Malicious Intent • 18:23 Sgt. Q Steps Into the Battle • 23:09 Why Sometimes Someone Needs to Speak Up • 27:43 The Shocking “Future Therapist” Reveal • 30:57 Can an Emotionally Immature Person Help Others Heal? • 33:18 Counter-Transference and Therapist Self-Awareness • 35:37 Why Your Brain Fills in the Gaps • 37:57 Emotional Maturity Means Taking Ownership • 40:18 Feelings Are Welcome—But Not All Behaviors Are • 41:00 The Broken Gaming Chair: “Am I the A-hole?” • 44:59 Anger, Parenting & Consequences • 47:18 The Different Stages of Parenting • 49:24 Coaching Your Teen Instead of Controlling Them • 51:48 Is the Parent Responsible for the Problem? • 54:12 Setting Healthy Boundaries With Teenagers • 56:37 Why Teaching Others Helps You Learn • 58:55 The Lesson Behind the “Future Therapist” Join the Conversation Be part of a growing community having real conversations about mental health, emotional intelligence, emotional regulation, anger management, relationships, parenting, therapy, trauma, PTSD, veteran mental health, healthy communication, boundaries, and personal growth. 🔗 Join our community: https://www.facebook.com/groups/1988960518109166/ Listen on: 🎧 Spotify: https://open.spotify.com/show/0nPegvqPi1AO47Xbx3EvNz?si=d2cdfa086c32460c 🎧 Website: https://thementalhealthjanitors.com/ 🎧 Apple Podcasts: https://podcasts.apple.com/nz/podcast/the-mental-health-janitors/ Connect with Aaron "Sgt Q" Quinonez: Website: https://sgtq.net/ Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/SgtQ13 LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/keynotespeakerbusinessscalingcoachbetabloxjudgerealitystarpodcaster/ Support the show

    Emotional Regulation: Why Your Brain Makes You Assume the Worst

  2. Sep 8

    Surviving Severe Depression & The Power of Simply Being Present | Pamela J. Wells

    Send us Fan Mail What do you do when the person who has always been the "strong one" suddenly needs you, and the moment the crisis passes, you completely fall apart?  In this powerful episode of *The Mental Health Janitors*, host Sgt. Q sits down with author and mental health advocate Pamela J. Wells for an honest conversation about severe depression, the hidden toll of caregiver burnout, and the profound power of simply being present.  Pam shares her deeply personal journey that began with her husband’s unexpected quintuple bypass surgery. While she rose to the occasion as a caregiver, the aftermath left her battling uncontrollable depression rooted in childhood trauma, ultimately leading to a suicide attempt and an eight-week hospitalization. Together, Pam and Sgt. Q, a combat veteran who has navigated his own battles with PTSD and suicidal ideation, explore why mental health must be treated with the same urgency as physical health. Pam also reveals how she turned her darkest season into a beacon of hope by interviewing nearly 30 people she met in the hospital, uncovering the universal truth about what people in crisis actually need. Throughout the conversation, they explore: Why caregiver burnout and suppressed trauma often lead to a delayed, severe mental health collapse.The importance of "firing" a therapist if you don't click, finding the right fit is crucial for healing.The #1 common thread among people with depression: the desire to be believed and treated with respect, not pity.Practical things to say (and NOT say) to someone struggling with depression.The neuroscience-backed power of a 15-to-20-second hug to release oxytocin and create genuine safety.Why you can't "fix" someone's depression, but you can love them through it.Pam reveals the one-word text her brother sent her after reading her book, and Sgt. Q shares a fascinating neuroscience "experiment" you can try with your own family today to instantly shift your nervous system from tense to relaxed. You won’t want to miss this simple, life-changing tool. 🎧 Tune in to discover how clarity, compassion, and intentional presence can help you or your loved ones navigate the darkest seasons of mental health and find a path toward healing. Episode Highlights 00:00 – Welcome to The Mental Health Janitors 00:11 – Pam’s Journey: Caregiver Burnout and Severe Depression 02:52 – The Breaking Point: Why We Must Seek Therapy Early 04:11 – Why Mental Health Belongs in School Curriculums 05:01 – Writing "In Their Shoes": Gathering 30 Unique Perspectives 07:25 – The #1 Thing People with Depression Actually Want 09:37 – Practical Tools: What to Say (and NOT Say) to a Depressed Loved One 11:05 – The Neuroscience of a 20-Second Hug (Oxytocin Release) 16:56 – Why This Book is for the Friends and Family, Too 18:42 – "Loving Me Through It": How Pam’s Husband Learned to Help 20:55 – Pam’s Book & Future Group Coaching Opportunities Join the Conversation Be part of a growing community having honest conversations about mental health, trauma recovery, emotional resilience, leadership, relationships, faith, and personal growth. 🔗 Join our Facebook community: https://www.facebook.com/groups/1988960518109166/ Listen to The Mental Health Janitors 🎧 Spotify: https://open.spotify.com/show/0nPegvqPi1AO47Xbx3EvNz/ 🎧 Website: https://thementalhealthjanitors.com/ 🎧 Apple Podcasts: https://podcasts.apple.com/nz/podcast/the-mental-health-janitors/ Connect with Pamela J. Wells Book: In Their Shoes by Pamela J. Wells (Available on Amazon, Barnes & Noble, Kobo) Facebook : https://www.facebook.com/ptwells Amazon Link: https://www.amazon.com/stores/Pamela-Wells/author/B0089QMFN2?ref=dbs_a_mng_rwt_scns_share&shoppingPortalEnabled=true Connect with Aaron "Sgt. Q" Quinonez Website: https://sgtq.net/ Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/SgtQ13 LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/keynotespeakerbusinessscalingcoachbetabloxjudgerealitystarpodcaster/ #TheMentalHealthJanitors #DepressionRecovery #MentalHealthAwareness #CaregiverBurnout #TraumaHealing #SuicidePrevention #MentalWellness #Oxytocin #PersonalGrowth #InTheirShoes #PamelaJWells #SgtQ #MentalHealthSupport #NeuroscienceOfHealing #EndTheStigma Support the show

    Surviving Severe Depression & The Power of Simply Being Present | Pamela J. Wells

  3. Sep 1

    When Helping Goes Too Far: Parenting, Boundaries & Independence

    Send us Fan Mail When Does Helping Your Child Become Hurting Them? What happens when a family getaway turns into an unexpected injury, a hospital visit, and a powerful lesson about accepting help? In this episode of The Mental Health Janitors, Sgt. Q and Doc Jess get real about community, resilience, parenting, independence, and emotional boundaries. The conversation takes a surprising turn with an “Am I the A-hole?” story about a mother who steps into her college-aged son’s job interview. Was she protecting him… or holding him back? They unpack the line between supporting and meddling, why parents struggle to let go, and how independence is built through experience. And the biggest lesson? You can’t control everything that happens. But you can control what you choose to carry. 🎧 Tune in for a conversation that might make you rethink how you help, parent, and handle life’s unexpected challenges. Episode Highlights • 07:29 When a Mental Health Getaway Goes Wrong • 13:32 Finding Connection Through Grief and Prayer • 21:01 An Unexpected Health Crisis • 28:17 The Power of Community • 31:20 Did Mom Go Too Far? • 37:08 When Protecting Your Child Becomes Meddling • 41:28 Nurturing vs. Overstepping • 50:58 Stop Carrying What You Can’t Control Join the Conversation Be part of a growing community having real conversations about mental health, emotional intelligence, relationships, conflict resolution, healthy communication, marriage, trauma, and personal growth. 🔗 Join our community: https://www.facebook.com/groups/1988960518109166/ Listen on: 🎧 Spotify: https://open.spotify.com/show/0nPegvqPi1AO47Xbx3EvNz?si=d2cdfa086c32460c 🎧 Website: https://thementalhealthjanitors.com/ 🎧 Apple Podcasts: https://podcasts.apple.com/nz/podcast/the-mental-health-janitors/ Connect with Aaron "Sgt Q" Quinonez: Website: https://sgtq.net/ Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/SgtQ13 LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/keynotespeakerbusinessscalingcoachbetabloxjudgerealitystarpodcaster/ Support the show

    When Helping Goes Too Far: Parenting, Boundaries & Independence

  4. Aug 25

    Why Silence is NOT Resilience | Tammy Ward

    Send us Fan Mail What happens when the person tasked with taking care of everyone else completely forgets to take care of themselves? In this powerful episode of The Mental Health Janitors, host Sgt. Q sits down with Tammy Ward, a 24-year veteran of the Royal Canadian Mounted Police (RCMP), for a raw and honest conversation about first responder trauma, the dangerous myth of "sucking it up," and the neurobiological power of speaking your truth. In 2014, Tammy faced a devastating shooting incident in her hometown that claimed the lives of three officers. As the operational NCO, she poured everything into supporting her team, masking her own pain with extreme running and suppressed emotions, until her body literally forced her to stop. Joining Sgt. Q, a combat veteran who has navigated his own battles with compounding trauma, Tammy breaks down why "silence is not resilience." Together, they explore how simply naming your emotions can reduce their negative impact by up to 50%, and why asking for help is the bravest thing you can do. Throughout the conversation, they explore: The hidden danger of "high-functioning" trauma responses, like over-exercising or emotional isolation.Why trauma has no hierarchy: Your worst day is your worst day, and your pain is always valid.The neurobiology of healing: How saying "A part of me feels..." instead of "I am..." can reduce symptom severity by 30–50%.The life-saving power of presence: Why a simple text message or showing up can break a destructive spiral of loneliness.Why refusing to ask for help actually robs your friends and family of the opportunity to strengthen their own mental resilience.Tammy also reveals a simple, free tool she uses to help busy humans reset their nervous systems in just seven days, including a specific journaling prompt that changes everything about how you carry other people's burdens. Plus, get an exclusive sneak peek into her upcoming book, The Unseen Scar. 🎧 Tune in to discover how brave conversations, intentional gratitude, and the simple act of showing up can help you or a loved one navigate the darkest seasons of trauma and find a path toward true healing. Episode Highlights 00:00 – The Struggle of Life After the Uniform 01:02 – Welcome to The Mental Health Janitors 01:33 – Tammy’s 24-Year RCMP Journey & The 2014 Tragedy 03:10 – The Breaking Point: When "Sucking It Up" Finally Fails 05:08 – The Myth of the "High-Functioning" Shell 07:44 – Trauma Has No Hierarchy: Validating Your Pain 09:35 – The Neuroscience of Naming Your Emotions (30–50% Reduction!) 12:30 – The Power of Presence: Why "Just Showing Up" Saves Lives 15:08 – The Bravest Thing You Can Do: Asking for Help 18:29 – Tammy’s Free Tool: The 7-Day Reset for Busy Humans 22:19 – Upcoming Book: The Unseen Scar Join the Conversation Be part of a growing community having honest conversations about mental health, trauma recovery, emotional resilience, leadership, relationships, faith, and personal growth. 🔗 Join our Facebook community: https://www.facebook.com/groups/1988960518109166/ Listen to The Mental Health Janitors 🎧 Spotify: https://open.spotify.com/show/0nPegvqPi1AO47Xbx3EvNz/ 🎧 Website: https://thementalhealthjanitors.com/ 🎧 Apple Podcasts: https://podcasts.apple.com/nz/podcast/the-mental-health-janitors/ Connect with Tammy Ward 🌐 Website: https://tammywardspeaks.com/ 💼 LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/tammy-ward-speaks/ 📖 Upcoming Book: The Unseen Scar (Coming Fall 2024) 🎤 Keynote Speaking & Coaching Inquiries: https://tammywardspeaks.com/keynotes-and-workshops/ Connect with Aaron "Sgt. Q" Quinonez 🌐 Website: https://sgtq.net/ 📘 Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/SgtQ13 💼 LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/keynotespeakerbusinessscalingcoachbetabloxjudgerealitystarpodcaster/ #TheMentalHealthJanitors #FirstResponderMentalHealth #RCMP #TraumaRecovery #SilenceIsNotResilience #PTSDAwareness #MentalHealthMatters #NeuroscienceOfHealing #EmotionalResilience #TammyWard #TheUnseenScar #SgtQ #MentalWellness #EndTheStigma #BraveConversations Support the show

    Why Silence is NOT Resilience | Tammy Ward

  5. Aug 18

    The Hidden Toll of Unexpected Caregiving & How to Prevent Burnout | Lydia Dyhin

    Send us Fan Mail What happens when your life is suddenly upended, and you are forced to become the primary caregiver for an aging parent with no preparation or roadmap?  In this deeply empathetic episode of The Mental Health Janitors, host Sgt. Q sits down with caregiver advocate and coach Lydia Dyhin to discuss the overwhelming, often invisible reality of unexpected caregiving. Lydia shares her personal story of abruptly relocating her entire family to care for her mother after a sudden vascular dementia diagnosis. What began as an act of love quickly turned into a relentless cycle of mental overload, physical depletion, and emotional overwhelm.  Together, Lydia and Sgt. Q’a combat veteran who intimately understands the compounding weight of trauma,breaks down the dangerous myth that caregivers must reach a breaking point before seeking help. They explore the profound power dynamic shift that occurs when children become the parents, the insidious nature of "drifted grief," and the neurobiological science behind why simply changing how you name your emotions can reduce their negative impact by up to 50%.  Throughout the conversation, they explore: The sudden, lifealtering reality of the "power dynamic shift" when caring for an aging parent.Why reaching out for resources before you hit a crisis is the ultimate act of prevention.The 4 Pillars of Healing (Body, Mind, Emotions, and Spirit) and why neglecting one causes the whole system to collapse under pressure.The neuroscience of emotional regulation: How saying "A part of me feels..." instead of "I am..." separates emotion from identity, reducing symptom severity by 50%.Practical tools to combat caregiver burnout, including the "Care Command Journal" and daily selfcare resets.How to navigate the intense guilt and family resistance that often accompany tough care decisions, like transitioning a loved one to residential care.Lydia reveals a simple but profound mindset shift that can instantly alleviate the crushing guilt of asking, "Am I doing enough?",plus, she shares details about her transformative workshops and selfpaced programs designed specifically to help caregivers reclaim their identity.  🎧 Tune in to discover how pausing, regulating your nervous system, and embracing the truth that "you are enough" can help you navigate the hardest seasons of caregiving with grace, resilience, and preserved mental health. Episode Highlights 00:00 – The Unexpected Reality of Becoming a Caregiver 01:02 – Welcome to The Mental Health Janitors 02:05 – Lydia’s Story: A Sudden Vascular Dementia Diagnosis 04:02 – The Power Dynamic Shift: When Children Become the Parents 06:37 – Why You Don’t Need to Reach Crisis to Get Help 08:24 – The 4 Pillars of Healing: Body, Mind, Emotions, and Spirit 12:12 – Navigating "DripFed Grief" and Caregiver Resentment 14:12 – Lydia’s Tool: The SelfCare Guide & Care Command Journal 17:01 – Navigating Guilt and the Transition to Residential Care 21:33 – Live Workshops vs. SelfPaced Programs for Caregivers 24:14 – The Neuroscience of Naming Your Emotions (50% Reduction!) 27:08 – A Message of Hope: "You Are Enough" Join the Conversation Be part of a growing community having honest conversations about mental health, trauma recovery, emotional resilience, leadership, relationships, faith, and personal growth. 🔗 Join our Facebook community: https://www.facebook.com/groups/1988960518109166/ Listen to The Mental Health Janitors 🎧 Spotify:https://open.spotify.com/show/0nPegvqPi1AO47Xbx3EvNz/ 🎧 Website:https://thementalhealthjanitors.com/ 🎧 Apple Podcasts: https://podcasts.apple.com/nz/podcast/thementalhealthjanitors/ Connect with Lydia Dyhin 🌐 Website: https://www.calmacaregivers.com 🎓 Caregiver Workshops & Self Paced Programs:  Workshops: https://www.calmacaregivers.com/when-caregiving-feels-heavy Programs: https://www.calmacaregivers.com/calma-caregiver-program-series Contact for Coaching/Support: https://www.calmacaregivers.com/calma-caregiver-mentoring Connect with Aaron "Sgt. Q" Quinonez 🌐 Website: https://sgtq.net/ 📘 Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/SgtQ13 💼 LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/keynotespeakerbusinessscalingcoachbetabloxjudgerealitystarpodcaster/ Support the show

    The Hidden Toll of Unexpected Caregiving & How to Prevent Burnout | Lydia Dyhin

  6. Aug 12

    Why Broken Promises Hurt More Than You Think

    Send us Fan Mail WHEN SOMEONE BREAKS YOUR TRUST, WHAT DO YOU DO WITH THE HURT? A broken promise can stay with you long after the moment is over. In this episode of The Mental Health Janitors, Sgt. Q and Doc Jess explore how betrayal, childhood trauma, broken trust, and unresolved hurt can shape the way we see people, relationships, and even ourselves. The conversation begins with a deeply personal story about a broken promise that became part of a childhood trauma. Then, a Reddit story about a father and son raises a bigger question about trust, accountability, parenting, and what happens when someone uses a loophole instead of honoring their word. But the conversation goes even deeper. Why do we sometimes start looking for revenge when we've been hurt? Why does our brain fill in the gaps when we don't have all the information? And what does it really take to break the cycle of resentment? Sgt. Q shares a deeply personal story about his own father that brings the conversation full circle and reveals why forgiveness isn't always about what someone deserves. This episode explores emotional intelligence, trauma, family relationships, trust, resentment, forgiveness, emotional resilience, and the choices we make after we've been hurt. If you've ever struggled with betrayal, broken promises, anger, or letting go of something that happened in your past, this conversation may give you a different way to look at your pain. ❤️ 🎧 Listen to the full episode to hear the stories, the lessons, and the unexpected perspective on choosing forgiveness over revenge. Episode Highlights • 00:00 Welcome to The Mental Health Janitors • 01:30 A Childhood Story About Trauma and a Broken Promise • 07:00 When Personal Pain Meets the Mental Bandwidth We Have • 09:00 The Seattle Shooting and Leadership Under Pressure • 18:00 How Economic Stress Can Affect Mental Wellbeing • 28:00 Reddit Story: A Father, Son, and a Shocking Loophole • 35:00 When a Broken Promise Becomes a Broken Relationship • 40:00 Revenge, Resentment, and the “Long Game” • 45:00 Emotional Intelligence and How We Respond to Hurt • 49:00 A Personal Story About Forgiveness and Reconciliation • 55:00 Choosing Forgiveness Over Revenge • 58:00 Educate, Empower, and Encourage Your Mental Health Journey Join the Conversation Be part of a growing community having real conversations about mental health, emotional intelligence, relationships, conflict resolution, healthy communication, marriage, trauma, and personal growth. 🔗 Join our community: https://www.facebook.com/groups/1988960518109166/ Listen on: 🎧 Spotify: https://open.spotify.com/show/0nPegvqPi1AO47Xbx3EvNz?si=d2cdfa086c32460c 🎧 Website: https://thementalhealthjanitors.com/ 🎧 Apple Podcasts: https://podcasts.apple.com/nz/podcast/the-mental-health-janitors/ Connect with Aaron "Sgt Q" Quinonez: Website: https://sgtq.net/ Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/SgtQ13 LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/keynotespeakerbusinessscalingcoachbetabloxjudgerealitystarpodcaster/  #MentalHealth #Forgiveness #EmotionalResilience  Support the show

    Why Broken Promises Hurt More Than You Think

  7. Aug 11

    Stop Waiting for an Apology: The Emotional Mistake That's Keeping You Stuck

    Send us Fan Mail Are You Looking for an Apology… or Are You Holding Onto Hurt? Sometimes the hardest conflicts aren’t about what was said. They’re about what happens inside us after we feel hurt. In this episode of The Mental Health Janitors, Sgt. Q and Doc Jess explore why we often expect people to understand our pain without ever explaining what happened. The conversation starts with Hot Jimothy Summer, a viral raccoon that brought people together through acceptance and community, before leading into a deeper discussion about emotional reactions, assumptions, and why we connect so deeply with stories of being misunderstood. They then break down a Reddit story about a mother demanding an apology from her teenage daughter’s friend after an insensitive comment. But the bigger question is: Are we seeking accountability, or are we holding onto resentment? Together, they explore emotional intelligence, self-reflection, emotional regulation, and why fixing the root cause of our reactions matters more than simply changing the behavior on the surface. If you’ve ever felt offended, struggled to forgive, or found yourself waiting for someone else to make things right, this episode will challenge the way you approach conflict. 🎧 Tune in to learn how self-awareness, healthy communication, and emotional resilience can help you build stronger relationships. Episode Highlights • 00:00 Welcome to The Mental Health Janitors • 15:49 A Personal Story About Hurt and Rebuilding Trust • 17:00 Hot Jimothy Summer: How a Viral Raccoon Created Connection • 19:08 Why People Rally Around Stories of Acceptance • 28:52 The Story of Keaton and How Community Changed His Life • 33:44 Reddit Story: A Mother Demands an Apology From a Teenager • 38:14 When Hurt Feelings Turn Into Long-Term Resentment • 44:28 Why We Expect Others to Know They Hurt Us • 51:18 Emotional Intelligence: Understanding the Why Behind Our Reactions • 53:34 Building Emotional Resilience and Preventing Conflict • 58:07 Educate, Empower, and Encourage Your Mental Health Journey Join the Conversation Be part of a growing community having real conversations about mental health, emotional intelligence, relationships, conflict resolution, healthy communication, marriage, trauma, and personal growth. 🔗 Join our community: https://www.facebook.com/groups/1988960518109166/ Listen on: 🎧 Spotify: https://open.spotify.com/show/0nPegvqPi1AO47Xbx3EvNz?si=d2cdfa086c32460c 🎧 Website: https://thementalhealthjanitors.com/ 🎧 Apple Podcasts: https://podcasts.apple.com/nz/podcast/the-mental-health-janitors/ Connect with Aaron "Sgt Q" Quinonez: Website: https://sgtq.net/ Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/SgtQ13 LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/keynotespeakerbusinessscalingcoachbetabloxjudgerealitystarpodcaster/ #MentalHealth #EmotionalIntelligence #EmotionalResilience  Support the show

    Stop Waiting for an Apology: The Emotional Mistake That's Keeping You Stuck

  8. Jul 28

    The Psychology of Arguments: Why Your Brain Creates Stories That Hurt Relationships

    Send us Fan Mail What do a concert security breach, a broken family heirloom, and your relationships have in common? More than you might think. In this episode of The Mental Health Janitors, Sgt. Q and Doc Jess begin with the viral Jay Z concert incident, where hundreds of people entered the venue without tickets, causing a massive delay and leaving fans frustrated. But beneath the headlines was a much bigger conversation about assumptions, accountability, leadership, and why understanding the full story matters before placing blame. The discussion then shifts to a viral Reddit story about a husband struggling to forgive his wife after she broke an irreplaceable family heirloom during a heated argument. Was it truly an accident, or was it an intentional act fueled by anger? More importantly, what happens when our minds fill in the gaps with assumptions instead of facts? Together, they explore how emotional reactions shape our decisions, why accountability and humility are essential for healthy relationships, and how the stories we tell ourselves can either build trust or create lasting resentment. You'll also learn the powerful Six Pack Method, a practical tool for challenging assumptions, regulating emotions, and creating healthier conversations before conflict spirals out of control. If you've ever struggled to forgive someone, questioned another person's intentions, or found yourself replaying an argument over and over, this episode is for you. 🎧 Tune in to discover how emotional intelligence, healthy communication, personal accountability, and learning to assume the best can strengthen your relationships and protect your mental health. Episode Highlights • 00:00 Welcome to The Mental Health Janitors • 00:18 When One Broken Item Changes Everything • 02:20 The Jay Z Concert Security Breach Explained • 08:45 Why People Blame Before They Know the Truth • 11:20 How One Open Door Became a Massive Safety Risk • 19:16 The Reddit Story That Started the Conversation • 22:30 A Wife Breaks an Irreplaceable Family Heirloom During a Fight • 31:00 Are You Reacting to Facts or Your Assumptions? • 36:30 Why Accountability Matters More Than Being Right • 48:30 The Six Pack Method for Managing Conflict and Challenging Assumptions • 58:00 How Assuming the Best Can Strengthen Your Marriage Join the Conversation Be part of a growing community having real conversations about mental health, emotional intelligence, relationships, conflict resolution, healthy communication, marriage, trauma, and personal growth. 🔗 Join our community: https://www.facebook.com/groups/1988960518109166/ Listen on: 🎧 Spotify: https://open.spotify.com/show/0nPegvqPi1AO47Xbx3EvNz?si=d2cdfa086c32460c 🎧 Website: https://thementalhealthjanitors.com/ 🎧 Apple Podcasts: https://podcasts.apple.com/nz/podcast/the-mental-health-janitors/ Connect with Aaron "Sgt Q" Quinonez: Website: https://sgtq.net/ Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/SgtQ13 LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/keynotespeakerbusinessscalingcoachbetabloxjudgerealitystarpodcaster/ Support the show

    The Psychology of Arguments: Why Your Brain Creates Stories That Hurt Relationships
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Ratings & Reviews

5
out of 5
3 Ratings

About

Faith-based trauma recovery for veterans, first responders, and the families who carry it with them. The Mental Health Janitors is hosted by Aaron "Sgt Q" Quinonez, a Marine 1st ANGLICO veteran who went from homeless and suicidal to founding a veteran nonprofit and a suicide-prevention tech company, and Jessica "Doc Jess" Burgans, an Army combat medic and Iraq War veteran who is now a Licensed Mental Health Counselor. Between them: two combat deployments, two PTSD diagnoses, and a clinical license. They've been where the audience is, and one of them is qualified to treat it. Every Tuesday they take on PTSD, ADHD, anxiety, marriage under strain, sleep that won't come, and the specific weight carried by people who ran toward things everyone else ran from.  The conversations are honest, Scripture-informed, and practical, real tools you can use this week, not platitudes. If you've been told to just get over it, or you've been quietly white-knuckling it for years, this is the show that says the thing out loud. New episodes every Tuesday

Information

  • Creator
    Aaron Quinonez and Jessica Burgans
  • Years Active
    2023 - 2026
  • Episodes
    168
  • Rating
    Clean
  • Copyright
    © 2026 The Mental Health Janitors
  • Show Website
    The Mental Health Janitors

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