The Kaya Ramjee Show

Kaya Ramjee
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Welcome to The Kaya Ramjee Show. I’m Kaya — Executive Mental Fitness Coach to ambitious individuals who want to reach the top 1% of their industry… and stay there. I’m also a woman who’s walked through grief, growth, reinvention, and the beautiful, messy business of building a life I truly love. This show is where I share what I’ve learned — from coaching exceptional clients, studying the mind and body for over a decade, and living through the kind of heartbreak that cracks you open. Here, we don’t chase perfection. We choose presence. We explore the patterns that hold us back — and the practices that set us free. If you’re ready to do work that actually matters… you’re in the right place, my friend.

  1. 6d ago

    When Someone Wants a Fight at Work | Ep 144

    What do you do when someone at work becomes aggressive, confrontational and seems determined to pull you into a fight? When you’re the leader...and everyone is watching. In this episode, I share a conversation with a CEO client who has been experiencing crippling anxiety while navigating aggressive and confrontational behaviour within his leadership team. We explore what’s actually happening in those moments and about the practice of not making it wrong...Your anxiety, anger or discomfort, and also the emotions of the person in front of you. Because witnessing someone’s anger is different from getting into the fight with them. Empathy doesn’t mean tolerating poor behaviour. And having a boundary doesn’t require you to make the other person wrong. If you’ve ever:Been on the receiving end of aggressive or confrontational behaviour at work.Felt anxious before a meeting because you’re anticipating conflict.Felt pressure to immediately know what to say when someone challenges you.Found yourself becoming defensive or getting pulled into an argument.Judged yourself for being affected by someone else’s behaviour. In this episode, we cover:Why anxiety is a completely normal response to confrontation.What happens when you judge yourself for feeling anxious.How empathy and strong boundaries can exist at the same time.How to interrupt repeated patterns of conflict by deciding your response in advance. People can—and will—invite you into a fight. Mental fitness is creating enough space between what happens outside of you and how you respond to recognise that you don’t have to accept the invitation. You can find out more about working with me at www.kayaramjee.com

  2. Sep 3

    The Real Reason Your Morning Routine Matters (btw it isn't what you think) Ep 143

    I wake up feeling meh on plenty of mornings. And I don’t think the purpose of a morning routine is to make sure you wake up motivated, grateful and ready to conquer the world. I think it matters on a much deeper level. In this episode, I’m talking about why I believe morning routines matter and why it has far less to do with whether you meditate, journal, lift weights, take a cold shower or get sunlight on your face than we’ve been led to believe. I explain what happens when you decide in advance what happens next after you wake up, instead of renegotiating with yourself every morning. I also talk about the cortisol awakening response and why waking up feeling anxious, overwhelmed or simply a bit shit doesn’t automatically mean something is wrong. The problem starts when we take that initial internal state and immediately create a story about our entire life from it. I'm sharing how my own morning routine has evolved from an overly complicated list of things I thought I should be doing into something simple, repeatable and designed around my actual life. And how I apply the idea of a minimum viable product so I can keep my commitment to myself even when I'm tired, travelling, running late or life is simply life-ing. If you’ve ever: Woken up feeling anxious or overwhelmed and immediately started writing off the rest of your dayCreated an elaborate morning routine you can’t realistically maintainFelt guilty because you don’t meditate, exercise, journal or do all the other stuff you think you “should” doFallen into an all-or-nothing approach to consistency In this episode, we cover: Why waking up feeling shit doesn’t necessarily mean anythingHow repetition creates awarenessWhy your morning routine needs to work in your actual lifeHow to create a “minimum viable” version of your routineThe difference between witnessing what’s happening internally and creating a soap opera about itThe unspoken value of keeping small daily commitments The cold shower isn’t the point. The yoga isn’t the point. The meditation isn’t the point. Tune in to find out what is. You can find out more about working with me at www.kayaramjee.com

  3. Aug 20

    You Know Why You Do It. So Why Haven’t You Changed? Ep 142

    You know why you people please. You know why you catastrophise, procrastinate, chase validation or shut down when somebody gets too close. So why are you still doing it? In this episode, I’m talking about the gap between self-awareness and actual transformation, and why understanding where a pattern came from does not automatically change what you do when that pattern appears. We’re living in an age of incredible psychological literacy. We know about attachment styles, trauma responses, boundaries, nervous system regulation, childhood wounds and triggers. That awareness can be enormously useful. But it can also create the illusion that understanding ourselves means we’ve changed. It doesn’t. I share a deeply personal example from my own experience of sexual trauma, hypervigilance and intimacy, and what happened when I realised that intellectually knowing I was safe was completely different from changing the automatic response happening in my mind and body. I also break down the mental fitness process I use to create change in real time: awareness → intention → real-time intervention → repetition → transformation. Because the moment your old pattern appears isn’t evidence that the work hasn’t worked. The trigger is the training ground. If you’ve ever:Known exactly why you behave a certain way but found yourself doing it anywaySpent years understanding your patterns without seeing the behavioural change you expectedThought an old trigger appearing meant you had somehow failed or gone backwardsFound yourself people pleasing, catastrophizing, becoming defensive or seeking reassurance even though you “know better”Consumed books, podcasts, therapy or personal development and wondered why insight hasn’t translated into your everyday life In this episode, we cover:Why self-awareness is the beginning of transformation, not transformation itselfHow psychological language can sometimes become a sophisticated form of avoidanceThe difference between an information problem and an implementation problemWhy the moment your pattern appears is the exact moment the real work beginsMy five-stage framework: awareness, intention, real-time intervention, repetition and transformationHow repeated mental fitness practice creates enough space between a trigger and your response for you to choose differently You do not change your life when you understand the pattern. You change your life in the moment the pattern appears and you practice something different — again, and again, and again. You can find out more about working with me at www.kayaramjee.com

  4. Aug 13

    When Life Falls Apart Ep 141

    Growth isn't about avoiding pain. It's about learning how to look at it differently. In this episode, I share the perspective that has shaped every part of my life since losing my son, Luca, and the questions I continue to return to whenever life feels difficult. Rather than trying to think positively or pretend painful emotions don't exist, I explore what it means to consciously choose a perspective that creates peace, resilience and agency. I share why your first thought isn't the problem, why your second thought matters far more, and how asking better questions can fundamentally change the way you experience adversity. These questions helped me navigate the darkest period of my life and discover that meaning is something we actively create rather than something we simply find. If you've ever: Felt completely overwhelmed by something life has thrown at youWondered whether you'll ever feel like yourself againStruggled to find meaning after loss, disappointment or adversity In this episode, we cover: The questions I ask myself whenever I face adversityHow to stop reinforcing disempowering thoughts and choose a different lensThe unexpected gifts that emerged from losing my son The circumstances of our lives will never be within our control, but the perspective we practise always is. The questions you repeatedly ask yourself determine the meaning you create...and ultimately the life you experience. You can find out more about working with me at www.kayaramjee.com

  5. Aug 6

    BICKERING: How to Stop Having the Same Argument Ep 140

    What is really happening when you keep having the same conversations and arguments over and over again? My husband and I spent an entire day bickering last weekend. I could finally choose to change the conversation by recognising the patterns of victimisation, judgment and control that I was bringing to the situation. In this episode I take you inside the conflict, including the moment (or should I say moments - there were a few!) I caught myself going into what I call “schooling mode”: patronising, explaining, judging and trying to make my husband understand exactly how he was wrong. It felt like I was taking control of the situation but in reality, I was trying to control him. His emotions, his behaviour, his life. And in doing so, I was escalating the conflict and making it impossible for him to hear me. When I stopped focusing on HIS behaviour and put my attention back on caring for myself and using my energy to build up my own resources, things began to change. And when I was faced with another moment where I could have gone straight back into judgment and victimisation, I was able to choose a different thought...and a different outcome. Changing the way you respond does not mean staying silent and tolerating bad behaviour or giving somebody a free pass. It means being able to discern what's going on and communicate honestly and hold somebody to a higher standard without approaching them from superiority, judgment or the need to be right. If you’ve ever:Had the same argument with somebody repeatedlyFelt responsible for managing another person’s emotionsFound yourself explaining somebody’s behaviour back to themBecome patronising or condescending when you feel hurtWanted to address bad behaviour without escalating the conflict Changing conflict does not begin with finding a better way to explain why the other person is wrong. It begins with recognising the pattern you are bringing into the conversation, cleaning up your side of the street and choosing how you want to respond. You can find out more about working with me at www.kayaramjee.com

  6. Jul 30

    The Thinking That's Ruining Your Life: Perfectionism, Overthinking and Self-Doubt Ep: 139

    Perfectionism, overthinking, control, self-doubt and stress are not personality traits. They are automatic thinking patterns...and patterns can be changed. In this episode, I’m introducing CHOOSE, my signature six-week mental fitness training programme, and explaining how you can stop allowing unconscious thinking to run your decisions, relationships, performance and life. What this episode is aboutMost people believe they are the sum of everything that has happened to them. Where they were born. What happened at school. The relationship that ended. The promotion they received. The job they lost. The parent who died. But your life is not determined by what happens to you. It is determined by the choices you make in response to what happens. Many of those choices feel automatic, because they are. You have quite literally practised them for years. In this episode, I explain why patterns such as perfectionism, control, overthinking, hyper-achievement, people-pleasing and hypervigilance are not who you are. They are forms of automatic thinking that I call noise. I share how unchecked noise can sabotage your performance, damage your relationships, destroy your peace and make even significant achievements feel as though they are never enough. I also introduce the three skills that make up mental fitness: Turning down noise. Turning up signal. Choosing to switch from one to the other in real time. These three skills form the foundation of CHOOSE, my signature six-week mental fitness training programme. Why this mattersYou can be highly capable, ambitious and successful while still having an untrained mind working against you. You can achieve your goals and immediately move the goalposts. You can know what would improve your wellbeing: sleeping more, drinking less, reducing sugar, stopping scrolling...and still not do it. You can replay conversations, overanalyse simple decisions, carry problems that are not yours and keep waiting for the next achievement before allowing yourself to breathe. These experiences are not character flaws. They are patterns. Once you can recognise them, you can begin to choose differently. Your first thought is automatic. But your second thought is a choice. When you train your ability to make that choice under pressure, choosing stops being something you hope you will do. It becomes a habit. For more details DM me CHOOSE. @kaya.ramjee on IG Kaya Ramjee on LinkedIn You can find out more about working with me at www.kayaramjee.com

  7. Jul 24

    PERCEPTION: Summer Reading Series For Leaders Pt 2 | Ep 138

    In this episode, we continue the Leaders Are Readers summer reading series with three books on an underrated leadership skill...perception. Leadership isn't just about reading a balance sheet; it's about reading people. Each of these books expanded my perception and deepened my understanding of other people. Book 1: Sally Rooney's Conversations with Friends is a masterclass in communication, conflict avoidance and emotional intelligence. Book 2: Lena Dunham's Fame Sick offers a brutally honest exploration of ambition, identity and visibility. Book 3: Gabrielle Zevin's Tomorrow, and Tomorrow, and Tomorrow is a highly insightful novel about the complexity of creative partnerships, collaboration and relationships. None of these are leadership books, but each offers a unique insight into the human mind and reveals the challenges of miscommunication, misunderstanding and human behaviour. If you want to: better understand what drives people's behaviourreduce miscommunication and conflict avoidancedevelop greater emotional intelligence as a leaderdiscover great books to read this summer In this episode, we cover: why reading fiction can strengthen your judgementwhy leaders should read beyond traditional business and leadership bookswhy reading books written by women matters if you want to better understand human behaviour Leadership is about understanding people. The more deeply we understand ourselves and those around us, the better equipped we are to lead with both eyes open. Books mentioned: Conversations with Friends — Sally Rooney Fame Sick — Lena Dunham Tomorrow, and Tomorrow, and Tomorrow — Gabrielle Zevin To enquire about working together, book an exploratory conversation: https://calendly.com/kayaramjee/30_mins_exploratory_conversation Follow me on LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/kaya-ramjee-thewarriormindacademy/ Find out more at www.kayaramjee.com.

  8. Jul 16

    You Have A Choice | Ep 137

    For the last 2 weeks I've shared some of the biggest insights I brought home from my 10-day advanced meditation retreat with Dr Joe Dispenza. This week, I want to talk about something simpler. Choice. Recently, I've found myself noticing small moments where I could almost see the fork in the road in front of me. Moments where time slowed down and I could choose... How I responded. How I spoke. What I focused on. And ultimately who I wanted to be. In this episode, I share a few stories about upgrading my environment, recognising when I acted out of alignment and the three emotions I'm intentionally cultivating through meditation. I also share a powerful story of how one leader's honesty created a ripple effect throughout an entire team. If you've forgotten that you have agency, this episode is here to remind you. We always have a choice. To enquire about working together, book an exploratory conversation: https://calendly.com/kayaramjee/30_mins_exploratory_conversation Follow me on LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/kaya-ramjee-thewarriormindacademy/ Find out more at www.kayaramjee.com.

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About

Welcome to The Kaya Ramjee Show. I’m Kaya — Executive Mental Fitness Coach to ambitious individuals who want to reach the top 1% of their industry… and stay there. I’m also a woman who’s walked through grief, growth, reinvention, and the beautiful, messy business of building a life I truly love. This show is where I share what I’ve learned — from coaching exceptional clients, studying the mind and body for over a decade, and living through the kind of heartbreak that cracks you open. Here, we don’t chase perfection. We choose presence. We explore the patterns that hold us back — and the practices that set us free. If you’re ready to do work that actually matters… you’re in the right place, my friend.

Information

  • Creator
    Kaya Ramjee
  • Years Active
    2023 - 2026
  • Episodes
    145
  • Rating
    Explicit
  • Copyright
    © Copyright 2026 Kaya Ramjee
  • Show Website
    The Kaya Ramjee Show