NAUGHTY GYM SHOW - Building Stronger Non-Monogamous Relationships

April and Scott
  • 4.9 (62)
  • Sexuality
  • Updated Weekly

Naughty Gym Show is a podcast about non-monogamy, open relationships, swinging, polyamory, and the skills of building strong relationships beyond traditional monogamy. Hosted by Scott and April Shirley, the show explores how couples and individuals can create honest, ethical, and emotionally strong non-monogamous relationships. Each episode dives into the real work of modern love, communication, jealousy, autonomy, intimacy, trust, and personal growth. At the center of the show is a simple but radical idea: relational freedom. The belief that love grows strongest when it is chosen freely, supported by honesty, autonomy, and mutual respect rather than control or fear. These conversations draw from the broader framework behind Wild Love Theory, a modern philosophy of relationships built around authenticity, autonomy, and expansive connection. If you’re curious about ethical non-monogamy (ENM), exploring open relationships, navigating polyamory, or simply trying to build a more honest and resilient partnership, this show offers the conversations and skills most people were never taught. At Naughty Gym, relationships are treated like something you train for. We talk about the philosophy, psychology, and practical skills required to build relationships that are strong enough to hold freedom, truth, desire, and real intimacy. Expect deep conversations, practical insights, and honest stories about love, sex, commitment, and the future of relationships. Welcome to the gym.

  1. Sep 4

    Special Episode: Men Need Male Relationships

    What happens when a bunch of men who aren’t particularly interested in going to a men’s retreat actually spend a weekend together? Apparently, something none of us expected. When Mancation Mountain was created, the plan was pretty simple: get a group of guys together in an incredible Smoky Mountain mansion, eat great food, play poker and pickleball, drink, laugh, hang out, and squeeze in about 90 minutes a day talking about relationships. Because, realistically, how much “deep conversation” are a bunch of guys going to tolerate? Last year, those 90-minute conversations kept turning into four-hour conversations. The guys themselves didn’t want them to end. In this episode, Scott sits down with two men who attended the first Mancation Mountain to talk about what actually happened there, including what they expected going in, why some of the men almost didn’t come at all, and how a weekend built around having fun unexpectedly became one of the most meaningful experiences many of them had ever had. They talk openly about relationships, sex, insecurity, erectile dysfunction, childhood baggage, non-monogamy, marriage, anxiety, and things some men admitted they had never told another person in their lives. But this isn’t therapy camp, and it isn’t four days of sitting around crying. It’s about something a lot of men may not realize they’re missing until they experience it: real friendships with other men who can hear the complicated, uncomfortable, deeply personal parts of your life without judging you, fixing you, or turning the conversation into wife-bashing. Mancation Mountain is sex-positive, but it isn’t just for men in non-monogamous relationships. Last year included straight, gay, bisexual, monogamous, non-monogamous, partnered, and single men. The common denominator was simply being open-minded enough to let other people live differently than you do. If the phrase “men’s retreat” makes you slightly uncomfortable, this episode may be especially worth hearing. Because several of the men who felt exactly that way going in were the same ones saying, three days later: “I had no idea I needed this.” MANCATION MOUNTAIN - Men's Retreat https://www.naughtygym.com/mancation

  2. Sep 1

    Barcelona Recap & Our Two-Year Transparency Misunderstanding

    We’re back from Europe, and somehow we came home with more than great food, unforgettable stories, and a ridiculous amount of sweat. In this episode, we recap our eight-day Naughty Gym/Aya Society trip outside Barcelona with 29 friends, including connection circles, skinny dipping at a 500-year-old villa, late nights in the Gothic Quarter, an unforgettable drag show in Sitges, April watching her grandson being born over FaceTime while standing outside Sagrada Família, and a few lessons about what happens when Scott attempts to navigate European public transportation. Then we head to Rome, where a bucket-list trip became far more emotional than either of us expected. But somewhere between the Vatican, ancient ruins, wine, and long dinners, we also uncovered something much bigger: a misunderstanding that had quietly been affecting our relationship for nearly two years. It started with something Scott once said publicly: “When I’m sitting in front of someone, I’m trying to fall deeply in love with them.” Scott thought he was describing presence, curiosity, and allowing himself to connect deeply with another human being. April heard something very different, and instead of telling him how frightening that idea felt, she spent two years trying to make herself become okay with it. That realization turned into a conversation about one of the central pillars of *Wild Love Theory*: transparency. What happens when one person isn’t precise about what they mean and the other person isn’t honest about what they feel? When does “doing the work” become forcing yourself to tolerate something your body keeps rejecting? And how can our partners truly know us if we’re showing them the person we think we’re supposed to be instead of the person we actually are? Apparently even the people who wrote the book can mess this stuff up. Plus, we talk about what we learned from Barcelona, why future Aya Society trips may look a little different, our upcoming events, and the release of Wild Love Theory. Want more of our deeper conversations? Join us on Patreon: https://www.patreon.com/naughtygym 🪩 OUR UPCOMING EVENTS... (1) WILD LOVE THEORY BOOK LAUNCH Minneapolis, MN | September 4–7, 2026 https://www.naughtygym.com/wildlovetheorybooklaunch (2) EL SALVADOR RETREAT Anti-Resort, Mizata | October 12-17, 2026 https://www.naughtygym.com/naughty-gym-el-salvador (3) WILD & WISE WOMEN'S RETREAT Smoky Mountains, TN | November 8-11, 2026 https://www.naughtygym.com/Wild-Wise (4) MANCATION MOUNTAIN Smoky Mountains, TN | November 8-11, 2026 https://www.naughtygym.com/mancation (5) HOLIDAZE PARTY Smoky Mountains, TN | November 15-20, 2026 https://www.naughtygym.com/smoky-mountain-holidaze (6) BE BETTER AT BEING BAD 4 Hedonism II Resort, Jamaica | Jan 2-9, 2027 https://hedonism.com/bbbb 📖 BUY OUR BOOK... Wild Love Theory https://tinyurl.com/cnmjectx 🌐 OUR WEBSITE... https://www.naughtygym.com 📧 OUR EMAIL... naughtygymonline@gmail.com We are not relationship experts or professionals if you want to talk to a professional ENM relationship therapist or coach, check out Expansive Connection Coaching... www.expansiveconnection.com/ENM Thanks for listening to The Naughty Gym Show, soon to be AYA Society. Never Stop Playing.

  3. Aug 11

    Jealousy in Non-Monogamy: Invisible Contracts & Unspoken Expectations

    What happens when you really click with another person or couple, maybe even have great sex, and then find yourself hurt or jealous when they connect with someone else? In Episode 83, April and Scott talk about the invisible agreements we sometimes create in non-monogamy without ever discussing them. Maybe you’ve played together before and assumed it would happen again. Maybe you went to an event together expecting to spend the night together. Maybe you felt close to someone and were surprised by your jealousy when they met someone new. Problems can arise when those assumptions affect how we treat someone who never knew we had them. We also explore how differently people experience sexual desire. Attraction, chemistry, and opportunity may lead one person toward sex, while someone else can enjoy the same chemistry without wanting to take it further. Previous sex doesn’t guarantee future sex. We talk about what happens when disappointment creates pressure, why someone else shouldn’t have to manage our reaction to hearing no, and how this can affect consent. April also shares how fear of disappointing people influenced some of her own choices in the past. Plus, we get into jealousy between friends and play partners, compersion, autonomy, community, and why communicating our hopes can prevent unspoken expectations from creating hurt feelings. Want more of our deeper conversations? Join us on Patreon: https://www.patreon.com/naughtygym WILD LOVE THEORY BOOK LAUNCH Minneapolis, MN | September 4–7, 2026 https://www.naughtygym.com/wildlovetheorybooklaunch 📍 In Minnesota? Connect with the Couples Next Door community: https://www.couplesnextdoor.com/ 🌐 https://www.naughtygym.com 📧 naughtygymonline@gmail.com We are not relationship experts or professionals if you want to talk to a professional ENM relationship therapist or coach, check out Expansive Connection Coaching. www.expansiveconnection.com/ENM Thanks for listening to The Naughty Gym Show, soon to be AYA Society. Never Stop Playing.

  4. Jul 28

    Menopause Unfiltered: Pelvic Health, Better Sex & the Power of Women’s Community

    Perimenopause and menopause can affect far more than your cycle—they can reshape your sleep, strength, confidence, sexuality, and relationships. In this candid episode, April and co-host Catherine of Expansive Connection explore how women can move through this transition feeling informed, empowered, and fully connected to their bodies. Pelvic-floor specialist Cara explains why common symptoms shouldn’t simply be dismissed as “normal,” how breathing and mobility support pelvic health, and why the pelvic floor matters for movement, pain, sexual function, and stronger orgasms. Returning Wild & Wise attendees Teresa and Sharon also share how the retreat helped them rediscover self-love, gain practical knowledge, form genuine friendships, and feel less alone. You’ll also hear what’s planned for the 2026 Wild & Wise Retreat, from fitness, nutrition, hormones, relationships, and pleasure to yoga, nourishing food, intentional downtime, and honest conversations in a welcoming, sex-positive space. Whether you’re approaching perimenopause, already in it, or navigating life after menopause, this episode is a powerful reminder: you are not broken, you don’t have to suffer silently, and you deserve support. The Wild & Wise Retreat takes place November 8–11, 2026, in Pigeon Forge, Tennessee. Learn more at NaughtyGym.com. Naughty Gym Website- www.naughtygym.com Naughty Gym Patreon- https://www.patreon.com/cw/NaughtyGym Our Upcoming Events: 1. Barcelona Adventure Trip - August 14-21st, 2026 - https://www.naughtygym.com/barcelona-2026 2. El Salvador Retreat - October 12-17th, 2026 - https://www.naughtygym.com/naughty-gym-el-salvador 3. Wild & Wise Women's Retreat - November 8-11th, 2026 - https://www.naughtygym.com/Wild-Wise 4. Mancation Men's Retreat - November 8-11th, 2026 - https://www.naughtygym.com/mancation-mountain 5. Naughty Gym's Holidaze - November 15-20th, 2026 - https://www.naughtygym.com/smoky-mountain-holidaze 6. Be Better At Being Bad - January 2-9th, 2027 - https://hedonism.com/bbbb

  5. Jul 14

    We’re Getting Divorced… to Celebrate Our Love? Our Biggest Announcement Yet

    After six years, Naughty Gym is becoming Aya Society. In this episode, we share why we’re making the biggest change our business has ever seen, what the new name means, and why this feels like the next chapter of everything we’ve been building. We also announce the upcoming release of Wild Love Theory, our new book about building relationships that are rooted in freedom, authenticity, and intentional commitment. And yes… we’re also explaining why we’re legally divorcing, and why, for us, it has become one of the deepest expressions of our commitment to each other. In this episode we discuss: * Why Naughty Gym is becoming Aya Society * The meaning behind “As You Are” * Our vision for the future * The Wild Love Theory launch * The Unbinding Ceremony * Why we’re redefining commitment instead of abandoning it * Upcoming events in Portland, Barcelona, El Salvador, Tennessee, Hedonism II, and our Minnesota book launch weekend. If you’ve ever wondered what it means to intentionally design your life instead of simply inheriting it, this conversation is for you. Naughty Gym Info: Naughty Gym Website- www.naughtygym.com Naughty Gym Patreon- https://www.patreon.com/cw/NaughtyGym Our Upcoming Events: 1. Barcelona Adventure Trip - August 14-21st, 2026 - https://www.naughtygym.com/barcelona-2026 2. El Salvador Retreat - October 12-17th, 2026 - https://www.naughtygym.com/naughty-gym-el-salvador 3. Wild & Wise Women's Retreat - November 8-11th, 2026 - https://www.naughtygym.com/Wild-Wise 4. Mancation Men's Retreat - November 8-11th, 2026 - https://www.naughtygym.com/mancation-mountain 5. Naughty Gym's Holidaze - November 15-20th, 2026 - https://www.naughtygym.com/smoky-mountain-holidaze 6. Be Better At Being Bad - January 2-9th, 2027 - https://hedonism.com/bbbb

  6. Jun 30

    Naughty Gym Invades X-Club: Inside A Lifestyle Weekend In Toronto

    We just got home from hosting our first Naughty Gym weekend at X Club, and we are telling the whole story. In this episode, Scott, April, and Andy recap four days at one of the most impressive lifestyle clubs they have visited. They share what surprised them about X Club, why it felt welcoming for both first-timers and longtime lifestyle people, how the club separates partying from play, and why that setup made the entire experience feel safer, easier, and far less overwhelming. They talk pool parties, late-night dancing, Luna Matatas’s workshops, a packed Saturday-night crowd, the people they met, and the unexpected truth that they went to a huge lifestyle event mostly to dance, talk, connect, and enjoy the energy. The conversation also goes deeper into what helped April feel unusually relaxed and free during the weekend, why rigid relationship agreements did not work for them, how couples can stay connected without turning an event into a contract, and why everyone has to find their own version of comfort, curiosity, and play. Plus, there is an ice-maker discovery, a drag-queen ambush, a bank-account hack, a questionable amount of DoorDash, and a reminder that Andy may be the most dedicated hotel-room vacationer alive. Whether you are curious about X Club, considering your first lifestyle event, or simply want the behind-the-scenes story of a wild weekend with friends, this episode is for you. Never stop playing. Naughty Gym Info: Naughty Gym Website- www.naughtygym.com Naughty Gym Patreon- https://www.patreon.com/cw/NaughtyGym Our Upcoming Events: 1. Barcelona Adventure Trip - August 14-21st, 2026 - https://www.naughtygym.com/barcelona-2026 2. El Salvador Retreat - October 12-17th, 2026 - https://www.naughtygym.com/naughty-gym-el-salvador 3. Wild & Wise Women's Retreat - November 8-11th, 2026 - https://www.naughtygym.com/Wild-Wise 4. Mancation Men's Retreat - November 8-11th, 2026 - https://www.naughtygym.com/mancation-mountain 5. Naughty Gym's Holidaze - November 15-20th, 2026 - https://www.naughtygym.com/smoky-mountain-holidaze 6. Be Better At Being Bad - January 2-9th, 2027 - https://hedonism.com/bbbb #LifestylePodcast #EthicalNonMonogamy #SwingersLifestyle #OpenRelationships #Jealousy #RelationshipAdvice #NonMonogamy #LifestyleCouples #NaughtyGym #WildLoveTheory

  7. Jun 9

    Dealing With Fears & Insecurities in Non-Monogamy

    Fear, jealousy, and insecurity are some of the most common struggles couples face in the lifestyle, swinging, open relationships, and ethical non-monogamy. But what should you actually do when those feelings show up? In this episode of The Naughty Gym Show, April and Scott talk about the normal fears that come up in the lifestyle, including body comparison, fear of being replaced, anxiety around texting, repeat partners, kissing, solo dates, separate-room play, and the stories our brains create when we feel triggered. Most couples respond to fear by creating a new rule. Sometimes that can be helpful. Temporary agreements can act as scaffolding while trust and emotional capacity are being built. But when rules become the permanent solution, they can quietly turn into a cage. Scott and April introduce two practical frameworks from their upcoming Wild Love Theory workbook: The R.U.L.E. Pattern React to the Trigger Unpack the Pain Limit the Behavior Enforce the Rule This is the common path couples take when fear shows up. The F.R.E.E. Framework Find the Real Fear Reexamine the Story Express the Need Without Control Expand Capacity This is a healthier way to process jealousy and insecurity without immediately turning fear into restriction. They also share personal examples from their own non-monogamous journey, including how insecurity can be connected to body image, relationship load, disconnection, old wounds, overwhelm, and feeling undesirable or unchosen. This episode is for anyone in the lifestyle, curious about ethical non-monogamy, or trying to understand how to deal with jealousy, rules, boundaries, insecurity, and fear without making each other smaller. The goal is not to build enough rules that nobody ever gets scared. The goal is to build enough capacity that fear no longer has to run the relationship. Learn more about our events, community, retreats, podcast, and upcoming book at NaughtyGym.com. Investor Info: scott@wandervest.world Naughty Gym Info: Naughty Gym Website- www.naughtygym.com Naughty Gym Patreon- https://www.patreon.com/cw/NaughtyGym Our Upcoming Events: 1. X Club Toronto Invasion - June 25-28th, 2026 - https://www.tickettailor.com/events/naughtygym/2109578 2. Barcelona Adventure Trip - August 14-21st, 2026 - https://www.naughtygym.com/barcelona-2026 3. El Salvador Retreat - October 12-17th, 2026 - https://www.naughtygym.com/naughty-gym-el-salvador 4. Wild & Wise Women's Retreat - November 8-11th, 2026 - https://www.naughtygym.com/Wild-Wise 5. Mancation Men's Retreat - November 8-11th, 2026 - https://www.naughtygym.com/mancation-mountain 6. Naughty Gym's Holidaze - November 15-20th, 2026 - https://www.naughtygym.com/smoky-mountain-holidaze 7. Be Better At Being Bad - January 2-9th, 2027 - https://hedonism.com/bbbb #LifestylePodcast #EthicalNonMonogamy #SwingersLifestyle #OpenRelationships #Jealousy #RelationshipAdvice #NonMonogamy #LifestyleCouples #NaughtyGym #WildLoveTheory

  8. May 21

    The Bad Prophet: You’re Probably Not as Good at Reading People as You Think

    How good are you really at reading people? Most of us like to believe we are above average at detecting lies, sensing energy, reading body language, picking up on vibes, and knowing what someone “really means.” But the research tells a very different story. In this episode, April and Scott unpack one of the most quietly destructive patterns in relationships: the confidence we place in our own interpretations, especially when fear gets involved. They begin with a hilarious and painfully revealing self-test. Are you better than average at spotting a liar? A better driver? Less biased than most people? More emotionally intelligent? Like most of us, April has strong answers. Then Scott brings in the numbers, including studies showing that people are barely better than chance at detecting lies, wildly overestimate their own abilities, and almost never think they are more biased than the average person. From there, the conversation turns personal. April shares how old survival patterns can make her misread silence, body language, or a delayed response as evidence that something is wrong. Scott tells a story he has never shared before about seeing April texting, feeling an instant threat response, checking her phone, and realizing she had simply been messaging her son about her grandbaby. Nothing was wrong, but his body had already built a case. This is the heart of what they call The Bad Prophet in their upcoming book, Wild Love Theory: the part of us that takes partial information, adds old pain, turns fear into certainty, and predicts a future that may not be real. In non-monogamy, the Bad Prophet can be especially powerful. A partner flirts with someone else, makes out with someone else, gets quiet, seems distracted, or does something slightly unexpected, and suddenly the mind begins narrating: I’m not enough. They want them more. I’m losing them. This means something about my worth. But pain is not always proof. A body reaction is real, but the story attached to it may be wrong. April and Scott also introduce the opposite practice: The Unprophet. Instead of treating your first fear-story as truth, you learn to slow down, separate fact from interpretation, ask better questions, give your nervous system time to settle, and make room for explanations that fear did not choose first. This episode is funny, vulnerable, research-backed, and deeply practical for anyone navigating love, jealousy, non-monogamy, conflict, insecurity, or old relational wounds. You may be intuitive. You may be emotionally intelligent. You may even be right sometimes. But this episode asks the harder question: What if the story that feels most true is only the first draft? --------- Investor Info: scott@wandervest.world Naughty Gym Info: Naughty Gym Website- www.naughtygym.com Naughty Gym Patreon- https://www.patreon.com/cw/NaughtyGym Our Upcoming Events: 1. X Club Toronto Invasion - June 25-28th, 2026 - https://www.tickettailor.com/events/naughtygym/2109578 2. Barcelona Adventure Trip - August 14-21st, 2026 - https://www.naughtygym.com/barcelona-2026 3. El Salvador Retreat - October 12-17th, 2026 - https://www.naughtygym.com/naughty-gym-el-salvador 4. Wild & Wise Women's Retreat - November 8-11th, 2026 - https://www.naughtygym.com/Wild-Wise 5. Mancation Men's Retreat - November 8-11th, 2026 - https://www.naughtygym.com/mancation-mountain 6. Naughty Gym's Holidaze - November 15-20th, 2026 - https://www.naughtygym.com/smoky-mountain-holidaze 7. Be Better At Being Bad - January 2-9th, 2027 - https://hedonism.com/bbbb

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4.9
out of 5
62 Ratings

About

Naughty Gym Show is a podcast about non-monogamy, open relationships, swinging, polyamory, and the skills of building strong relationships beyond traditional monogamy. Hosted by Scott and April Shirley, the show explores how couples and individuals can create honest, ethical, and emotionally strong non-monogamous relationships. Each episode dives into the real work of modern love, communication, jealousy, autonomy, intimacy, trust, and personal growth. At the center of the show is a simple but radical idea: relational freedom. The belief that love grows strongest when it is chosen freely, supported by honesty, autonomy, and mutual respect rather than control or fear. These conversations draw from the broader framework behind Wild Love Theory, a modern philosophy of relationships built around authenticity, autonomy, and expansive connection. If you’re curious about ethical non-monogamy (ENM), exploring open relationships, navigating polyamory, or simply trying to build a more honest and resilient partnership, this show offers the conversations and skills most people were never taught. At Naughty Gym, relationships are treated like something you train for. We talk about the philosophy, psychology, and practical skills required to build relationships that are strong enough to hold freedom, truth, desire, and real intimacy. Expect deep conversations, practical insights, and honest stories about love, sex, commitment, and the future of relationships. Welcome to the gym.

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