Lemons and Pineapples

Emma O'Brien
  • 5.0 (27)
  • Self-Improvement
  • Weekly

On the Lemons and Pineapples podcast, no-nonsense life coach & entrepreneur Emma O'Brien shares inspirational stories, tried & tested tools and amazing guest interviews to guide you on your self development journey.Learn how to shift your mindset and change your life for the better with fun and entertaining weekly episodes that will help you live on the lighter side of life.

  1. 5d ago

    S5 Episode 21: How Unresolved Grief Leaves You Feeling Unseen

    Send us Fan Mail When Family Grief Leaves You Feeling Never Enough Lemons and Pineapples | Season 5, Episode 21 Did you grow up with a parent who was physically present but emotionally miles away? Perhaps you had everything you needed materially, yet still felt unseen, unloved or unable to get their attention, no matter how hard you tried. As children, we often make a parent’s absence mean something about us. We decide we’re not interesting enough, lovable enough or good enough and spend years trying to prove otherwise. In this episode, I explore unresolved family grief through the lens of Family Constellations, sharing a theme that has come up repeatedly in my sessions: how an earlier generation’s loss can shape the emotional availability of the generations that follow. With permission, I share a client’s story of exploring her father’s absence and the grief in his family history. That wider perspective helped her begin to let go of the belief that his distance was a rejection of her. In this episode, I talk about: How emotional absence in childhood can shape your self-worth.Why trying to earn a parent’s love can turn into people-pleasing, overachieving and over-functioning.How unresolved grief can influence the way people parent.The difference between intellectually understanding your family history and feeling differently about yourself.Finding compassion for a parent while acknowledging the hurt you experienced.How exploring family patterns can open up different choices for your own life.“Constellations give context, context changes perspective, and with a different perspective, we can make different choices as to how we move forward.” If you’re tired of trying to earn love, prove your worth or make sense of a difficult relationship with a parent, this episode offers a different place to begin. Explore working with me You don’t have to keep organising your life around the belief that you’re not enough. If this episode resonates, book a free discovery call and let’s talk about what’s keeping you stuck and how a Family Constellation might help. Ready to book a session? You can also find out more about my one-to-one online Family Constellations and book directly. Visit emmaobriencoach.com to explore working with me. If someone came to mind while you were listening, please share this episode with them. If you’re done playing small and ready to lead yourself — you’re in the right place. I’m Emma O’Brien — Martha Beck trained and certified life coach, HeartMath practitioner, and shamanic healer helping high-achieving women stop second-guessing themselves and finally trust their own voice. Through nervous system re-calibration, strategic coaching, and deep energetic work, I help you move from self-doubt to self-trust so you can create a life you actually want to be in — no external approval required. 🌀 Want to work together?  Explore the 6-week Nervous System Reset, 1:1 coaching, or Shamanic Soul Retrieval sessions here: emmaobriencoach.com Questions or ready to chat?  DM me on Instagram @emmaobriencoach or book a free connection call HERE.

  2. Oct 21

    S5 Episode 20: What Your Pet Wants You To Know

    Send us Fan Mail What Your Pets Want You to Know Lemons & Pineapples | Season 5, Episode 20 Ever wished your pet could tell you what’s bothering them? Why they’re anxious around visitors, reluctant to do something seemingly straightforward, or unsettled when things change at home? Our pets are part of our families, and what happens in our households affects them too. In this episode, I’m sharing my experiences of pet constellations: how I work, the themes that have come up, and how exploring the relationship between pets and their humans can offer a different perspective on a problem. You’ll meet Sidney, a rescue bull terrier who was struggling with the stairs; Spencer, whose anxiety around visitors was making life difficult for everyone; and Felix, a cat whose constellation brought up concerns about his teenage human heading off to university. One theme has come up again and again: our pets want to be included in what’s happening. Who’s coming, who’s going, what’s changing, and whether we’re coming back. In this episode, I explore: - What a pet constellation is and how an online session works. - The themes of safety, belonging and reassurance that have emerged in my work with rescue animals. - How changes in the household can become part of a pet constellation. - The cycle of worry that can develop between an anxious pet and their humans. - How I use HeartMath breathing techniques to help owners find more calm. - Turning the insights from a constellation into practical next steps. Pet constellations complement veterinary care and support from a qualified behaviourist. They aren’t a diagnostic tool or a replacement for either. If your pet’s behaviour changes, a veterinary check-up should always come first. Curious about a constellation for your pet? Whether you’re navigating a change at home, helping a rescue animal settle in, or looking for another perspective on a persistent challenge, a pet constellation offers space to explore your animal’s place in your family and how you might support them. Sessions take place online and cost R950 for South African clients or £95 for international clients. A donation from every pet constellation goes to CLAW (Community Led Animal Welfare), the rescue organisation where my dogs came from. Book a Pet Constellation session HERE SA residents book HERE Visit emmaobriencoach.com to find out more. Or book a discovery call HERE. You can also message me on Instagram @emmaobriencoach with any questions. Subscribe to Lemons & Pineapples for more conversations about family constellations, pets, and understanding the patterns shaping our lives. #pets #petlovers #dogs #doglove #doglovers #animalcommunication #talktoyourdog If you’re done playing small and ready to lead yourself — you’re in the right place. I’m Emma O’Brien — Martha Beck trained and certified life coach, HeartMath practitioner, and shamanic healer helping high-achieving women stop second-guessing themselves and finally trust their own voice. Through nervous system re-calibration, strategic coaching, and deep energetic work, I help you move from self-doubt to self-trust so you can create a life you actually want to be in — no external approval required. 🌀 Want to work together?  Explore the 6-week Nervous System Reset, 1:1 coaching, or Shamanic Soul Retrieval sessions here: emmaobriencoach.com Questions or ready to chat?  DM me on Instagram @emmaobriencoach or book a free connection call HERE.

  3. Oct 13

    S5 Episode 19: Understanding Anxiety; When Calm Feels Dysregulating

    Send us Fan Mail Why Calm Can Feel So Dysregulating Have you ever been enjoying a perfectly lovely moment, only for your brain to interrupt with, “Don’t get too comfortable. What if something goes wrong?” Or perhaps life is going smoothly, but instead of enjoying it, you feel guilty because someone else is having a difficult time. In this episode, I share my own experience of finding calm surprisingly uncomfortable and noticing how, when there’s no obvious problem, my mind starts looking for a hidden one. From life with seven dogs to resisting the temptation to bring home another puppy, I explore how I’ve consciously reduced chaos in my everyday life, while still learning to make room for ease in my own mind. In this episode, I talk about: - Why calm can feel unfamiliar when you’re used to chaos. - Catastrophising, waiting for the other shoe to drop and feeling guilty about having a good day. - Recognising the part of you that tries to keep you safe by keeping things familiar. - Noticing anxious thoughts without letting them take over. - Remembering that you’ve navigated difficult things before, and can trust yourself to cope again. - How I use HeartMath heart-focused breathing and grounding to return to the present. - Reflecting on childhood experiences and family patterns that may shape your responses. - The healing paradox: what happens when an old pattern shifts and leaves a space you’re unsure how to fill. - I also walk you through a simple heart-focused breathing practice and share a question I use to interrupt the “what if” spiral: “Am I okay right now?” For me, this is an ongoing practice. Anxiety might still be a passenger, but it doesn’t have to drive. Would you like support to understand what’s keeping you stuck and explore a different way forward? Book a free discovery call with me HERE. If this episode resonates, I’d love to hear from you. Send me a message or voice note on Instagram: @emmaobriencoach Related episode: The Healing Paradox HERE. If you’re done playing small and ready to lead yourself — you’re in the right place. I’m Emma O’Brien — Martha Beck trained and certified life coach, HeartMath practitioner, and shamanic healer helping high-achieving women stop second-guessing themselves and finally trust their own voice. Through nervous system re-calibration, strategic coaching, and deep energetic work, I help you move from self-doubt to self-trust so you can create a life you actually want to be in — no external approval required. 🌀 Want to work together?  Explore the 6-week Nervous System Reset, 1:1 coaching, or Shamanic Soul Retrieval sessions here: emmaobriencoach.com Questions or ready to chat?  DM me on Instagram @emmaobriencoach or book a free connection call HERE.

  4. Oct 5

    S5 Episode 18: The Healing Paradox

    Send us Fan Mail The Healing Paradox: Why Letting Go of Familiar Patterns Is So Hard Season 5, Episode 18 | Lemons and Pineapples Podcast You want things to change. You’re tired of people-pleasing, carrying relationships and being the person who sorts everything out. So why is it so hard to do something differently? Sometimes, familiar suffering feels safer than unfamiliar freedom. In this episode, I explore the healing paradox: changing a painful pattern also means letting go of the roles, habits and ways of relating you’ve built around it. Even when you’re ready for something better, the uncertainty of who you’ll be without that pattern can keep you stuck. From people-pleasing and perfectionism to hyper-independence and rescuing others, we look at what these behaviours may once have protected you from and what it takes to move beyond them. In this episode, I talk about: - Why we stay in unfulfilling relationships, jobs and family dynamics. - How patterns that once helped us cope can become the things that hold us back. - The possible payoffs behind people-pleasing, over-functioning, perfectionism and always being needed. - How childhood experiences and family patterns can shape the way we relate to others. - Why setting boundaries can bring pushback, disappointment and changes in relationships. - The discomfort of asking for support when you’re used to doing everything yourself. - Making room for your own needs, more reciprocal relationships and different choices. Healing doesn’t always feel peaceful at first. Sometimes it means disappointing someone, allowing another adult to take responsibility or recognising that a relationship only continues because you do all the work. That discomfort can be part of changing how you live. A few questions to sit with: - Who am I without this behaviour, relationship or role? - What did this pattern once do for me? - What would I have to face if I stopped? - What do I actually want—and what choices would support that? - Want to share what came up for you? Send me a DM or voice note on Instagram @emmaobriencoach. I’d love to hear your thoughts. Would you like support to explore what’s keeping you stuck? Book a free discovery call and let’s chat about how we could work together. Links: Book a discovery call HERE Connect with me on Instagram HERE ⋮⋮⋮⋮ If you’re done playing small and ready to lead yourself — you’re in the right place. I’m Emma O’Brien — Martha Beck trained and certified life coach, HeartMath practitioner, and shamanic healer helping high-achieving women stop second-guessing themselves and finally trust their own voice. Through nervous system re-calibration, strategic coaching, and deep energetic work, I help you move from self-doubt to self-trust so you can create a life you actually want to be in — no external approval required. 🌀 Want to work together?  Explore the 6-week Nervous System Reset, 1:1 coaching, or Shamanic Soul Retrieval sessions here: emmaobriencoach.com Questions or ready to chat?  DM me on Instagram @emmaobriencoach or book a free connection call HERE.

  5. Sep 25

    S5 Episode 17: Family Constellations Explained

    Send us Fan Mail Why You Keep Repeating the Same Patterns (Even When You Know Better) | Family Constellations Explained You know you need to set a boundary, stop people pleasing or do less of the emotional heavy lifting in your relationship. You may even know exactly what you want to do differently. So why, when the moment comes, do you fall back into the same pattern? In this episode of Lemons and Pineapples, I explore why insight doesn’t always lead to change. We’ll look at how behaviours that frustrate you now may once have helped you feel safe or belong in your family, and why understanding that context can help you approach change with more compassion. I also share how Family Constellations can help you explore repeating patterns around relationships, money and visibility, and what it looks like to bring a problem into the wider context of your family system. In this episode:  Why knowing better doesn’t always mean doing differently  The possible roots of people pleasing and difficulty setting boundaries  How family attitudes towards money can shape your own  Why a clear business strategy can still feel difficult to act on  What happens in Family Constellations work Join my free online talk on Thursday 1 October to learn more about Family Constellations, what you can bring to a session and how the work happens. It’s at 7pm South African time / 6pm UK time / 7pm Central European time / 1pm US Eastern time, and a replay will be available if you can’t attend live. Register for the free talk HERE. I also offer 1:1 online Family Constellations sessions, and I’m holding a group workshop in Johannesburg on 18 October. Explore working with me HERE. Johannesburg workshop HERE. If you’re done playing small and ready to lead yourself — you’re in the right place. I’m Emma O’Brien — Martha Beck trained and certified life coach, HeartMath practitioner, and shamanic healer helping high-achieving women stop second-guessing themselves and finally trust their own voice. Through nervous system re-calibration, strategic coaching, and deep energetic work, I help you move from self-doubt to self-trust so you can create a life you actually want to be in — no external approval required. 🌀 Want to work together?  Explore the 6-week Nervous System Reset, 1:1 coaching, or Shamanic Soul Retrieval sessions here: emmaobriencoach.com Questions or ready to chat?  DM me on Instagram @emmaobriencoach or book a free connection call HERE.

  6. Sep 21

    S5 Episode 16: Existential Drift; The Danger of Never Changing

    Send us Fan Mail Existential Drift: The Danger of Never Changing If your life continued in exactly the same way it is now, where would you be three years from today? And would you be happy with where you ended up? In this episode of Lemons and Pineapples, I’m talking about existential drift: that uncomfortable sense that life is passing you by while you remain stuck in the same routines, relationships, work or circumstances. You might know what you want to change. You may even have been talking about it for years. Yet fear, uncertainty and the familiarity of your comfort zone can make it incredibly difficult to take action. The trouble is, doing nothing is still a choice—and drifting for long enough can eventually leave you somewhere you never consciously chose to be. In this episode, I explore: Why we remain stuck even when we know what we wantThe gap between wanting change and choosing to create itHow fear and uncertainty keep us inside familiar but unfulfilling situationsWhy reconnecting with joy is an important part of finding directionThe difference between needing a small change of scenery and a more significant life changeHow small, manageable actions can begin to move you out of a funkWhy another perspective can help you see a way forward when you feel stuckI also share how a visit to Pretoria’s thousand-year-old Wonderboom fig tree helped me shift my own funk—and why sometimes a small side quest is exactly what’s needed to bring a little life back into your life. Questions to sit with Take some time to journal on these questions or talk them through with someone you trust: If nothing in your life changed, where would you be in three years’ time—and would that be where you wanted to be?If you could wave a magic wand over your life, what would you change, add or remove?What needs to change to move you from where you are now to where you want to be?What has stopped you from making those changes so far?What obstacles are genuinely in your way—and which reasons or excuses have you been giving yourself?What makes you happy?When did you last experience real happiness or joy? What were you doing, and what has changed since then?What is one small, manageable step you could take now to begin moving towards the life you want?Sometimes you don’t need to have the entire journey mapped out. You simply need to take the first step. If existential drift is your current reality, I’d love to help you understand what’s happening, get clear on where you’d rather be and create a practical strategy for moving forward. Book a complimentary discovery call HERE. Book a 90-minute Life Inventory Session HERE. Find out more about working with me: www.emmaobriencoach.com If you’re done playing small and ready to lead yourself — you’re in the right place. I’m Emma O’Brien — Martha Beck trained and certified life coach, HeartMath practitioner, and shamanic healer helping high-achieving women stop second-guessing themselves and finally trust their own voice. Through nervous system re-calibration, strategic coaching, and deep energetic work, I help you move from self-doubt to self-trust so you can create a life you actually want to be in — no external approval required. 🌀 Want to work together?  Explore the 6-week Nervous System Reset, 1:1 coaching, or Shamanic Soul Retrieval sessions here: emmaobriencoach.com Questions or ready to chat?  DM me on Instagram @emmaobriencoach or book a free connection call HERE.

  7. Sep 9

    S5 Episode 15: Why You Can't Stop People Pleasing - Even When You Know Better

    Send us Fan Mail Why You Can’t Stop People-Pleasing — Even When You Know Better You know you’re people-pleasing. You can sometimes catch yourself doing it in the moment. You may even have read the books, practised setting boundaries and promised yourself you’ll stop automatically saying yes. So why do you still find yourself managing other people’s feelings, jumping in to help and putting your own needs last? In this episode, I explore why people-pleasing isn’t simply a bad habit or a character flaw. It’s often a deeply ingrained strategy that began in childhood as a way to stay safe, maintain connection and secure love, approval and belonging. If you grew up with an unpredictable, volatile or emotionally fragile parent, you may have learned to monitor the emotional environment and adapt yourself accordingly. If love felt conditional, conflict wasn’t safely repaired or you were praised for being helpful, sensible and mature, keeping everyone else happy may have become your way of staying included in the family system. The problem is that these childhood strategies don’t automatically disappear when you become an adult. They can follow you into your relationships, family life and work, showing up as over-functioning, difficulty voicing your needs, anxiety when someone is unhappy with you and a tendency to earn your worth by being useful. In this episode, I talk about: The less obvious ways people-pleasing can show upWhy people-pleasing is often connected to safety and belongingHow conditional love and unspoken family rules shape the patternThe link between people-pleasing, over-functioning and emotionally unavailable relationshipsWhy setting boundaries can feel so physically and emotionally uncomfortableThe hidden payoff that keeps the behaviour in placeHow to recognise the role you played in your family systemWhy insight and boundary scripts may only get you so farHow Family Constellations can help uncover and shift the unconscious dynamics beneath the patternI also share some questions to help you begin exploring your own people-pleasing: Where and with whom does this pattern show up?What do you believe might happen if you say no?What do you gain from being helpful, needed or indispensable?Who else in your family system managed everyone’s feelings?What sensations and emotions arise in your body when you agree to something you don’t want to do?Which unspoken family rules might you still be following?Changing this pattern isn’t simply about becoming better at saying no. It involves understanding what your people-pleasing has protected you from, learning to tolerate other people’s disappointment and recognising that you no longer need to earn love, approval or your place in the world. If you’d like support uncovering the deeper family patterns behind your people-pleasing, you’re welcome to book a free discovery call with me. Book a free discovery call HERE Book a one-to-one online Family Constellation HERE Learn more about Family Constellations HERE Find out more about my work at www.emmaobriencoach.com. If you’re done playing small and ready to lead yourself — you’re in the right place. I’m Emma O’Brien — Martha Beck trained and certified life coach, HeartMath practitioner, and shamanic healer helping high-achieving women stop second-guessing themselves and finally trust their own voice. Through nervous system re-calibration, strategic coaching, and deep energetic work, I help you move from self-doubt to self-trust so you can create a life you actually want to be in — no external approval required. 🌀 Want to work together?  Explore the 6-week Nervous System Reset, 1:1 coaching, or Shamanic Soul Retrieval sessions here: emmaobriencoach.com Questions or ready to chat?  DM me on Instagram @emmaobriencoach or book a free connection call HERE.

  8. Aug 25

    S5 Episode 14: 5 Signs You're A Generational Cycle Breaker

    Send us Fan Mail 5 Signs You’re a Generational Cycle Breaker Being the person who decides, “This stops with me,” sounds powerful, and it is. But breaking patterns that have travelled through a family for generations can also be lonely, uncomfortable and incredibly hard work. In this episode, I explore what it really means to be a generational cycle breaker: someone who has begun to question the behaviours their family considers normal and is choosing to live, relate and respond differently. I share five signs that this might be you:  You question what your family considers normal.  You feel like an outsider in your own family.  You feel guilty when you make different choices.  You’re committed to doing relationships differently.  You feel responsible for healing the entire family. We also look at why family systems often push back when one person changes—and how our need to belong can keep us participating in unhealthy patterns long after we’ve recognised them. I share some practical ways to navigate this role, including letting boundaries replace long explanations, building belonging outside your family, grieving what you didn’t receive and accepting that the rest of your family may not choose to change with you. Most importantly, you don’t have to heal everyone. Your work is to take responsibility for your own patterns, choices and life. In this episode:  Why familiar family dynamics can feel safe, even when they’re dysfunctional  Codependency, self-silencing, over-functioning and family secrets  What happens when you stop playing your assigned family role  The guilt that can accompany happiness, success or choosing yourself  Why other people’s discomfort doesn’t mean you’re doing something wrong  How family constellations can reveal the wider context behind painful patterns  Using systemic coaching to create boundaries without abandoning yourself Work with me Join my free online talk, Why You Lose Yourself in Relationships: The Hidden Family Patterns Behind People-Pleasing, Over-Functioning and Self-Silencing, on Monday 31 August at 7pm South African time / 6pm UK time. A replay will be available. Register for the free talk HERE You can also join me for an in-person Family Constellations workshop at Windrush Studio in Johannesburg on 6 September, either to have your own constellation facilitated or to participate as a representative. Find out more about the workshop HERE I also offer one-to-one Family Constellations sessions online via Zoom, wherever you are in the world. Book a one-to-one constellation HERE Book a free discovery call HERE You can find me on Instagram at @emmaobriencoach. Mentioned in this episode The Dance of Anger by Harriet Lerner Healing the Child Within by Charles L. Whitfield  My previous episodes exploring Family Constellations and hidden loyalties  If you’re done playing small and ready to lead yourself — you’re in the right place. I’m Emma O’Brien — Martha Beck trained and certified life coach, HeartMath practitioner, and shamanic healer helping high-achieving women stop second-guessing themselves and finally trust their own voice. Through nervous system re-calibration, strategic coaching, and deep energetic work, I help you move from self-doubt to self-trust so you can create a life you actually want to be in — no external approval required. 🌀 Want to work together?  Explore the 6-week Nervous System Reset, 1:1 coaching, or Shamanic Soul Retrieval sessions here: emmaobriencoach.com Questions or ready to chat?  DM me on Instagram @emmaobriencoach or book a free connection call HERE.

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About

On the Lemons and Pineapples podcast, no-nonsense life coach & entrepreneur Emma O'Brien shares inspirational stories, tried & tested tools and amazing guest interviews to guide you on your self development journey.Learn how to shift your mindset and change your life for the better with fun and entertaining weekly episodes that will help you live on the lighter side of life.

Information

  • Creator
    Emma O'Brien
  • Years Active
    2023 - 2026
  • Episodes
    158
  • Rating
    Clean
  • Copyright
    © 2026 Lemons and Pineapples
  • Show Website
    Lemons and Pineapples

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