From Guilt to Good with Jeanette Yates

Jeanette Yates
  • 5.0 (4)
  • Personal Journals
  • Updated Semiweekly

Support for caregivers, plus care tech you can trust. Practical guidance on burnout, boundaries, and guilt, with simple care-tech translation so tools feel safe, supportive, and straightforward.

  1. 6d ago

    How to Help an Aging Parent Stand Up Safely Without Replacing Their Favorite Chair

    Send us Fan Mail What happens when your aging parent starts struggling to get out of their chair—but absolutely refuses to give up the chair they love? Jeanette talks with Matt Cavanaugh, Director of Customer Engagement at Enhance-It, about a simple device that converts an existing recliner into a powered lift chair. They discuss how even a small amount of assistance can make standing easier, why repeatedly lifting a loved one can take a physical toll on caregivers, and how maintaining the ability to sit and stand independently can affect an older adult’s overall independence. Matt also explains installation, chair compatibility, white-glove installation options, pricing, warranty information, and the Medicare reimbursement process discussed in the episode. Most importantly, this conversation is about a simple caregiving principle: sometimes your family doesn’t need the newest or most complicated technology. Sometimes they need one straightforward tool that solves one very real daily problem. Learn more about Enhance-It at liftmychair.com. Support the show NOW AVAILABLE! From Guilt To Good Enough: A Caregiver’s Journey of Overcoming Burnout Through Healing Childhood by Jeanette Yates. Having been a caregiver for her mother since childhood, Jeanette knows firsthand the emotional toll caregiving can take. In this memoir-turned-self-help guide, she shares her journey of healing, setting boundaries, and reclaiming her life. Click here to purchase your copy! At The Self-Caregiver LLC we guide women caring for their aging parents overcome burnout and release guilt to create more freedom and fulfillment in their life.  We believe you cannot give more of yourself until you heal the wounds, replenish your being and reconnect to the fullness of who you are, embracing the purpose you‘ve been called to live.

    How to Help an Aging Parent Stand Up Safely Without Replacing Their Favorite Chair

  2. Sep 8

    How to Use Music to Calm, Connect and Engage Someone With Dementia

    Send us Fan Mail Most caregivers already know music can be comforting. But there’s a big difference between putting on a favorite playlist and intentionally using music as a caregiving tool. Jeanette talks with board-certified music therapist and SingFit co-founder Andy Tubmann about how active singing, rhythm and movement can help caregivers connect with someone living with dementia. Andy shares what he learned professionally after more than 25 years working with music therapy—and personally while serving as the primary caregiver for his mother throughout an eight-to-ten-year dementia journey. They explore why active music-making can create a different level of engagement than passive listening, how singing can still be used when verbal communication is declining, and why caregivers should match their loved one’s emotional state instead of immediately trying to change it. Andy also explains how SingFit uses age, musical preferences, goals and guided song sequences to help caregivers create more intentional sessions—including sessions designed around reducing agitation. This isn’t about curing dementia. It’s about having another practical tool to create connection, comfort, stimulation and moments of meaningful engagement throughout the dementia journey. Andy Tubman is a board-certified music therapist and the co-founder and Chief Clinical Officer of SingFit. He has spent more than 25 years developing, researching and teaching techniques that use music intentionally in care. His expertise is also deeply personal. Andy served as the primary caregiver for his mother during her eight-to-ten-year journey with dementia, integrating music into daily routines ranging from car rides and activities to interactions with professional caregivers. Resources / Links SingFit SingFit Caregiver App: Available through SingFit’s website Jeanette Yates / The Self-Caregiver Support the show NOW AVAILABLE! From Guilt To Good Enough: A Caregiver’s Journey of Overcoming Burnout Through Healing Childhood by Jeanette Yates. Having been a caregiver for her mother since childhood, Jeanette knows firsthand the emotional toll caregiving can take. In this memoir-turned-self-help guide, she shares her journey of healing, setting boundaries, and reclaiming her life. Click here to purchase your copy! At The Self-Caregiver LLC we guide women caring for their aging parents overcome burnout and release guilt to create more freedom and fulfillment in their life.  We believe you cannot give more of yourself until you heal the wounds, replenish your being and reconnect to the fullness of who you are, embracing the purpose you‘ve been called to live.

    How to Use Music to Calm, Connect and Engage Someone With Dementia

  3. Sep 8

    Safety Without Hovering: Helping Aging Parents Stay Independent

    Send us Fan Mail What if your aging parent had a simple way to tell you when they actually needed help? No phone. No complicated app. No yelling from another room. And no constant monitoring. In this episode, Jeanette talks with Dominique “Dom” Austin, founder of Parent Ping, about the constant state of alert many caregivers experience. Dom originally created Parent Ping for exhausted parents caring for newborns. But almost immediately, families caring for aging adults began telling her they had the exact same problem. Sometimes the hardest part of caregiving isn't knowing someone needs help. It's wondering if they need you. Dom explains how Parent Ping works, why simple technology can sometimes be more useful than complicated caregiving systems, and how giving someone an easy way to ask for help can preserve both safety and independence. Jeanette and Dom also explore the surprising similarities between parenting and caregiving. Dom puts the difference beautifully: Parenting is about helping someone become independent. Caregiving is about helping someone stay independent. They also discuss caregiver hypervigilance, smartphone accessibility, hovering, caregiver exhaustion and how even a few extra minutes of breathing room can make a meaningful difference. Learn more about Parent Ping. Find more caregiver resources including trusted care tech on my website. Support the show NOW AVAILABLE! From Guilt To Good Enough: A Caregiver’s Journey of Overcoming Burnout Through Healing Childhood by Jeanette Yates. Having been a caregiver for her mother since childhood, Jeanette knows firsthand the emotional toll caregiving can take. In this memoir-turned-self-help guide, she shares her journey of healing, setting boundaries, and reclaiming her life. Click here to purchase your copy! At The Self-Caregiver LLC we guide women caring for their aging parents overcome burnout and release guilt to create more freedom and fulfillment in their life.  We believe you cannot give more of yourself until you heal the wounds, replenish your being and reconnect to the fullness of who you are, embracing the purpose you‘ve been called to live.

    Safety Without Hovering: Helping Aging Parents Stay Independent

  4. Aug 24

    How to Have Hard Conversations With Aging Parents Without Creating Resistance

    Send us Fan Mail Talking to an aging parent about driving, assisted living, finances or accepting help can quickly turn into an argument. According to Aging and Change Coach Tami Calais, one reason is surprisingly simple: families often begin the conversation with the solution already decided. “Mom, you need to stop driving.” “We need to talk about assisted living.” “You need someone helping you at home.” After 16 years in senior living, Tami has seen what happens when families wait until a crisis forces these decisions — and what changes when they begin the conversation earlier. In this episode, Tami joins Jeanette Yates to explain how motivational interviewing, curiosity, empathy and values-based conversations can help caregivers understand what their aging parents actually want instead of immediately trying to persuade them. They discuss the difference between Solution Forward and Feelings Forward conversations, navigating role changes between parents and adult children, talking with someone who has dementia, caregiver burnout and why one of the most powerful caregiving skills may simply be learning how to ask instead of tell. Tami's driving example captures the approach particularly well: rather than immediately asking someone to surrender their keys, she suggests asking what feels different about driving compared with five years ago. Guest BioTami Calais is an Aging and Change Coach with 16 years of experience in senior living. Her work focuses on helping adult children and families navigate difficult conversations around aging using motivational interviewing, empathy, curiosity and values-based communication. She is also the creator of Hard Conversations Handled Well: Aging Parents Edition, a five-week program designed to help families develop the skills and confidence to navigate resistance, changing family roles and difficult decisions. Tami describes the program as covering safe-space building, ambivalence, curiosity, reflective statements and putting those tools together into an ongoing conversation framework. Resources Tami Calais / Aging and Change Coach Website   Social  @agingandchangecoach Hard Conversations Handled Well: Aging Parents Edition Caregiver Coupon Book Jeanette Yates Website INCLUDING Trusted Care Tech Resources Support the show NOW AVAILABLE! From Guilt To Good Enough: A Caregiver’s Journey of Overcoming Burnout Through Healing Childhood by Jeanette Yates. Having been a caregiver for her mother since childhood, Jeanette knows firsthand the emotional toll caregiving can take. In this memoir-turned-self-help guide, she shares her journey of healing, setting boundaries, and reclaiming her life. Click here to purchase your copy! At The Self-Caregiver LLC we guide women caring for their aging parents overcome burnout and release guilt to create more freedom and fulfillment in their life.  We believe you cannot give more of yourself until you heal the wounds, replenish your being and reconnect to the fullness of who you are, embracing the purpose you‘ve been called to live.

    How to Have Hard Conversations With Aging Parents Without Creating Resistance

  5. Aug 17

    You’re One Phone Call Away From Becoming a Caregiver with Nicole Smith

    Send us Fan Mail Most people don’t become caregivers gradually. Sometimes everything changes with one phone call. For Nicole Smith, it was more like three. Her mother developed Alzheimer’s, her stepmother was diagnosed with aphasia, and her father dealt with normal pressure hydrocephalus—all while Nicole was navigating family life and the uncertainty of 2020. That experience eventually led Nicole to become a Certified Senior Advisor, Daughterhood circle leader, caregiving advocate, and author of Diagnosis Dementia: Your Guide to Elder Care Planning and Crisis Management. In this episode, Nicole and Jeanette talk about what happens when caregiving suddenly becomes your responsibility—and what families can do before reaching that point. They explore powers of attorney, finding trustworthy professionals, navigating family conflict, support groups, difficult conversations about aging, caregiver isolation, and why delegation can be one of the most important skills a caregiver develops. Because caregiving involves much more than providing care. You're suddenly learning medical terminology, financial systems, legal processes, senior living options, insurance, family dynamics, and an entirely new world of decisions—often while already overwhelmed. Nicole's message is simple: don't wait until the crisis to start talking about caregiving. Most families are only one phone call away. Nicole Smith / Good Daughter AZ Nicole Smith websiteDiagnosis Dementia: Your Guide to Elder Care Planning and Crisis ManagementDaughterhoodGood Daughter AZ YouTubeDementia Book Review InstagramConnect with me on my website (you'll find my socials there too!)  Support the show NOW AVAILABLE! From Guilt To Good Enough: A Caregiver’s Journey of Overcoming Burnout Through Healing Childhood by Jeanette Yates. Having been a caregiver for her mother since childhood, Jeanette knows firsthand the emotional toll caregiving can take. In this memoir-turned-self-help guide, she shares her journey of healing, setting boundaries, and reclaiming her life. Click here to purchase your copy! At The Self-Caregiver LLC we guide women caring for their aging parents overcome burnout and release guilt to create more freedom and fulfillment in their life.  We believe you cannot give more of yourself until you heal the wounds, replenish your being and reconnect to the fullness of who you are, embracing the purpose you‘ve been called to live.

    You’re One Phone Call Away From Becoming a Caregiver with Nicole Smith

  6. Aug 10

    Can AI Help Aging Parents Stay Independent Without Replacing Family? With Nick Mehdi

    Send us Fan Mail Caregivers often become responsible for the essentials: medications, medical appointments, finances, transportation and safety. But what happens to the small moments that make an older adult’s life enjoyable? In this episode, Jeanette Yates speaks with Nick Mehdi, co-founder of Donna, an AI phone companion designed for older adults. The idea began when Nick noticed that his grandfather—a lifelong Detroit Tigers fan—kept missing baseball games because he did not realise they were on. His family was successfully managing the major responsibilities of caregiving, but smaller reminders connected to his identity, interests and enjoyment were getting lost. Nick explains how Donna uses scheduled conversational phone calls to remind older adults about sporting events, appointments and everyday activities. He also shares why a phone conversation can offer something that a standard smartphone notification cannot. Jeanette and Nick explore the difference between helping an aging parent survive and helping them thrive, as well as the responsibility technology companies have to protect privacy, consent and autonomy. They also discuss why Donna is intended to add to family connection—not replace it—and why an older adult should remain in control of whether their call summaries are shared. This conversation offers a thoughtful look at how technology might reduce some of the mental load caregivers carry while helping older adults remain connected to the interests and experiences that make life meaningful. Chapters00:00 – When Caregiving Conversations Become Logistics 01:34 – Watching a Parent Become a Long-Distance Caregiver 02:56 – The Missed Baseball Games That Started Everything 05:41 – Why Older Adults May Need More Than a Notification 06:28 – Finding a Co-Founder and Developing the Idea 08:03 – Why Voice AI Became Possible Now 09:48 – What Donna Actually Does 11:21 – How Older Adults Build Rapport With AI 13:26 – Surviving Versus Thriving in Older Age 15:32 – Supporting Human Connection Instead of Replacing It 17:50 – Why Small Reminders Fall Through the Cracks 19:20 – Privacy and Who Can Access Conversations 21:22 – Giving Older Adults Control and Consent 22:27 – Why Ethical Onboarding Takes Longer 24:13 – How Families Can Try Donna 26:14 – A Final Message for Caregivers Donna (website) App: Search “Donna Companion” in the App Store Call Donna: 442-212-1723 Jeanette Yates website for caregiver support and care tech resources Guest: Nick Mehdi on LinkedIn Support the show NOW AVAILABLE! From Guilt To Good Enough: A Caregiver’s Journey of Overcoming Burnout Through Healing Childhood by Jeanette Yates. Having been a caregiver for her mother since childhood, Jeanette knows firsthand the emotional toll caregiving can take. In this memoir-turned-self-help guide, she shares her journey of healing, setting boundaries, and reclaiming her life. Click here to purchase your copy! At The Self-Caregiver LLC we guide women caring for their aging parents overcome burnout and release guilt to create more freedom and fulfillment in their life.  We believe you cannot give more of yourself until you heal the wounds, replenish your being and reconnect to the fullness of who you are, embracing the purpose you‘ve been called to live.

    Can AI Help Aging Parents Stay Independent Without Replacing Family? With Nick Mehdi

  7. Aug 3

    The Dark Side of Caregiving Nobody Talks About

    Send us Fan Mail Can you love the person you care for and still feel angry, resentful, exhausted or desperate for the caregiving to end? Brent has spent nearly two decades caring for his wife, Trudy, after she was diagnosed with young-onset Parkinson’s disease at 33. In this honest conversation, Brent and Jeanette discuss the side of long-term caregiving that is often hidden behind inspirational quotes and toxic positivity. Brent explains why caregiving can feel like a “death by a thousand cuts,” how unspoken resentment almost broke him, and why acknowledging difficult thoughts does not make someone a bad caregiver. They also discuss anticipatory grief, caregiver guilt, respite care, therapy, hospice and the small resets that can help caregivers make it through overwhelming moments. In this episode: • Why emergency medicine could not prepare Brent for long-term caregiving • The reality hidden by the “sanitized” version of caregiving • Why toxic positivity can leave caregivers feeling more alone • Loving the person while resenting the caregiving situation • The thoughts caregivers are often ashamed to admit • Why difficult feelings do not make someone a bad caregiver • What Brent means by “caregiver purgatory” • How therapy helped him manage anger and resentment • The small actions that help him reset during difficult moments • How respite care can help even when using it creates guilt • The difference support services made to his family’s survival • What Brent would tell someone beginning a long caregiving journey • Why families should communicate and seek therapy early • The story and mission behind Held Light Brent created Held Light to say out loud what many caregivers feel but cannot express. Through his videos, podcast and online community, he helps caregivers feel seen, understood and less alone. Find Brent by searching Held Light or @heldlight on YouTube, Instagram, Facebook and TikTok. You can also listen to the Held Light podcast on Spotify. For more caregiver support and resources, visit jeanetteyates.com. If this conversation resonated with you, share it with another caregiver and subscribe for more honest conversations about caregiving, boundaries and feeling good without the guilt. Chapters 00:00 Grieving someone who is still here 01:52 Trudy’s young-onset Parkinson’s diagnosis 03:31 Why emergency medicine did not prepare Brent 04:55 The sanitized version of caregiving 06:10 Caregiving as a death by a thousand cuts 07:20 Toxic positivity and the reality of Parkinson’s 09:32 Speaking directly to caregivers 11:04 Why Brent created Held Light 13:07 Becoming a better husband and caregiver 15:31 Misinformation and miracle cures 17:57 What caregiving taught Brent about love 19:21 How caregiving affected their sons 22:59 Caregivers do not have to be perfect 24:20 Admitting the darkest caregiver thoughts 25:44 Living in “caregiver purgatory” 27:37 Why perfect caregiving content can be harmful 28:20 Can caregiver burnout be prevented? 29:28 Small ways to manage chronic caregiver stress 31:21 Knowing when to step away 32:12 Respite care, hospice and outside support 35:38 How respite care actually works 37:20 The guilt of leaving a loved one in respite 39:20 Advice for a newly diagnosed family 40:40 Make memories before the disease progresses 42:02 Where to find Held Light HeldLight website HeldLight: TikTok &  Instagram & YouTube Sponsor: Savi Security A special thank you to our Sponsor, Savi Security. Learn more about how Savi protects your family from AI-powered scams across calls and texts, 24/7: https://www.savisecurity.com Support the show NOW AVAILABLE! From Guilt To Good Enough: A Caregiver’s Journey of Overcoming Burnout Through Healing Childhood by Jeanette Yates. Having been a caregiver for her mother since childhood, Jeanette knows firsthand the emotional toll caregiving can take. In this memoir-turned-self-help guide, she shares her journey of healing, setting boundaries, and reclaiming her life. Click here to purchase your copy! At The Self-Caregiver LLC we guide women caring for their aging parents overcome burnout and release guilt to create more freedom and fulfillment in their life.  We believe you cannot give more of yourself until you heal the wounds, replenish your being and reconnect to the fullness of who you are, embracing the purpose you‘ve been called to live.

    The Dark Side of Caregiving Nobody Talks About

  8. Jul 27

    Planning Long-Term Care Before a Family Crisis with Lindsay Friedman

    Send us Fan Mail Most families do not make a comprehensive long-term care plan before they need one. Instead, they rely on a few assumptions: “Mom will move in with me.” “My siblings will help.” “We’ll figure it out when the time comes.” But when an aging parent experiences a fall, receives a diagnosis, develops dementia, or can no longer live safely without assistance, those assumptions can quickly become a family crisis. In this episode of From Guilt to Good, Jeanette Yates speaks with  Lindsay Friedman, a former nursing assistant, lifelong multigenerational caregiver, four-time founder, and the founder of CareBloom and LTCareNav. Lindsay explains why families need to discuss long-term care before care becomes urgent—and why choosing where someone will live is only one small part of a complete plan. They discuss the true responsibilities of family caregiving, preserving an aging parent’s dignity, the cost of professional care, Medicare and Medicaid misconceptions, sibling responsibilities, dementia care, and the questions every family needs to answer honestly. Lindsay also shares the first two questions caregivers should ask: What am I realistically willing and able to do? What does my loved one want their future care to look like? Because the best time to create a long-term care plan is before your family has to make impossible decisions with no information and no time. Audio Chapters 00:00 The crisis created by not having a plan 01:28 Lindsay’s family caregiving journey 03:10 The hidden responsibilities of family caregiving 04:23 Autonomy, dignity, and the care recipient’s preferences 07:41 What Lindsay learned after becoming a family caregiver 09:00 Why families avoid planning for long-term care 11:26 Moving in with family is not a complete care plan 13:47 The potential cost of professional care 15:15 Medicaid planning and the five-year look-back 18:40 Preparing for the next change in a caregiving journey 20:08 Planning for care with limited financial resources 22:20 The difficult questions families need to answer 26:20 Creativity and connection in dementia care 29:31 The first step for families that have not planned 30:17 How LTCareNav supports families 31:31 The experience that inspired CareBloom 35:00 Plan today, protect tomorrow  Resources and Links Lindsay Friedman LinkedIn LTCareNav CareBloom LTCareNav’s Care Compass Podcast Books by  Lindsay Friedman Plan Today, Protect Tomorrow The Questions That Matter Book Mentioned Creative Care by Dr. Anne Basting Program Mentioned TimeSlips Episode Sponsor Savi Security Savi Security A special thank you to our Sponsor, Savi Security. Learn more about how Savi protects your family from AI-powered scams across calls and texts, 24/7: https://www.savisecurity.com Jeanette Yates Website and trusted caregiver resources Support the show NOW AVAILABLE! From Guilt To Good Enough: A Caregiver’s Journey of Overcoming Burnout Through Healing Childhood by Jeanette Yates. Having been a caregiver for her mother since childhood, Jeanette knows firsthand the emotional toll caregiving can take. In this memoir-turned-self-help guide, she shares her journey of healing, setting boundaries, and reclaiming her life. Click here to purchase your copy! At The Self-Caregiver LLC we guide women caring for their aging parents overcome burnout and release guilt to create more freedom and fulfillment in their life.  We believe you cannot give more of yourself until you heal the wounds, replenish your being and reconnect to the fullness of who you are, embracing the purpose you‘ve been called to live.

    Planning Long-Term Care Before a Family Crisis with Lindsay Friedman
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Support for caregivers, plus care tech you can trust. Practical guidance on burnout, boundaries, and guilt, with simple care-tech translation so tools feel safe, supportive, and straightforward.

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