Building Healthy Relationships - The 4 Habits Podcast

The 4 Habits
  • 5.0 (2)
  • RELATIONSHIPS

Helping you radically transform the way you do relationships to build Harmony@Home, Thrive@Work, and Win@Life. In their 2019 TEDx Talk, Dr. Andrea & Jon Taylor-Cummings, shared The 4 Habits of ALL Successful Relationships (3M+ views). Over 25+ years working with thousands of relationships they identified 4 Habits that ALL Successful Relationships exhibit - all challenged relationships miss one or more. In this podcast, together with various fascinating guest experts, they share practical insights to help you improve all your relationships at home, at work & in life! Prepare to be inspired.

  1. E125 | 4 Relationship Habits Founders Need Under Pressure | Dr. Andrea & Jon Taylor-Cummings

    6D AGO

    E125 | 4 Relationship Habits Founders Need Under Pressure | Dr. Andrea & Jon Taylor-Cummings

    When pressure rises in your business, it doesn’t stay neatly at work. It shows up at home. In your tone. In your patience. In your conversations. And often, in the relationship that matters most. In this founder-focused episode of The 4 Habits Podcast, Dr. Andrea and Jon Taylor-Cummings unpack the four relationship habits founders need under pressure — not to lower ambition, but to protect connection while building something meaningful. Drawing from their own lived experience in business and decades of working with leaders and entrepreneurial couples, they explore how your closest relationships shape how you lead — at home and at work. In this episode, you’ll discover: – Why the real test of leadership isn’t the polished version of you — it’s the 2am version – How criticism creeps in under stress — and how curiosity changes everything – The four predictable conflict styles that show up under pressure – Why “ASK, don’t assume” is a survival skill in founder life – How emotional connection protects performance – The EARS listening framework (Empathy, Attention, Respect, Summarise) – Why habits — not personality — determine whether pressure strengthens or strains your partnership This is not about crisis. It’s about awareness. Because you’re not broken. You’re under pressure. And when you build the right habits, pressure doesn’t have to cost you connection. 🔗 LIVE INVITATION: BUILD & BOND™ If this episode resonated and you’d like to explore it live with us, we’re hosting: Build & Bond™: When Business Hits Home A free 60-minute live session for founders and their life partners designed to help you improve alignment under pressure — practically and without fluff. You’ll learn grounded tools you can apply immediately — at home and at work. 👉 Save your seat here: https://the4habits.com/when-business-hits-home/ 🔗 PREFER TO START PRIVATELY? If you’d rather begin with a private reflection, we’ve created: Aligned Under Pressure — A Relationship Check-In for Founders & Their Life Partners Whether you’re in the business together, or one of you simply feels the impact of entrepreneurial life, this short reflection will help you identify which of the 4 Habits needs attention right now. 👉 Take the reflection here: https://alignedunderpressure.scoreapp.com/ ⏱️ EPISODE HIGHLIGHTS (TIMESTAMPS) 00:00 – Why leadership is shaped by your closest relationships 03:40 – The 2am version of you 06:20 – Habit 1: Choose Curiosity Over Criticism 12:50 – Listener Exercise: Strength Mining in everyday irritation 18:30 – Four common conflict styles under pressure 22:00 – “Conflict isn’t the problem. Handling it poorly is.” 25:10 – Habit 2: Handle Conflict Constructively 29:40 – Habit 3: ASK, Don’t Assume 35:00 – The assumptions founders make under stress 38:40 – Habit 4: Prioritise Emotional Connection 42:00 – “People go where they feel welcomed…” 45:30 – EARS Listening Framework 50:00 – Why empathy silences the Chimp 53:20 – Why this changes everything

    30 min
  2. E124 | What’s Really Holding Women Back in Leadership? | Dr. Kate Coleman & Cham Kaur-Mann

    FEB 6

    E124 | What’s Really Holding Women Back in Leadership? | Dr. Kate Coleman & Cham Kaur-Mann

    What’s really holding women back in leadership? It’s not what you think.   In this episode of The 4 Habits Podcast, leadership experts Dr. Kate Coleman and Cham Kaur-Mann unpack the real reasons women still struggle to thrive in leadership roles — even when they’re talented, driven, and ready.   Drawing from their experience at Next Leadership and insights from Kate’s powerful book 7 Deadly Sins of Women in Leadership, this conversation cuts deep into the self-sabotage, people-pleasing, and unspoken rules that keep women playing small.   You’ll learn practical ways to lead with confidence, set healthy boundaries, and navigate ambition without guilt. Whether you’re a woman in leadership or someone who supports them — this episode gives you the mindset shift and tools you need to break through. 🔍 In this episode: – Why capable women still shrink back – How self-doubt and over-responsibility sabotage leadership – Why boundaries are essential for sustainable success – The “sins” no one talks about — and how to stop them – Leading with courage, confidence, and purpose ⏱️ 4. EPISODE HIGHLIGHTS (TIMESTAMPS)   00:00 Who are Dr. Kate Coleman and Cham Kaur-Mann? 04:25 What’s really blocking women in leadership today? 08:45 “The 7 Sins” and why this message still matters 12:30 Ambition, shame, and permission to want more 16:55 Boundary-setting: a skill women aren’t taught 22:40 What gets in the way of healthy, thriving leadership? 28:10 How Cham and Kate work together as a leadership duo 33:25 Metamorph and creating safe spaces for transformation 37:45 Final word: the shift we all need to see 🚀 5. NEXT STEPS SECTION   👉 CONNECT WITH KATE & CHAM / NEXT LEADERSHIP 🔗 Website: https://www.nextleadership.co.uk 🔗 LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/company/next-leadership/ 🔗 Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=100063836029537 🔗 Book: 7 Deadly Sins of Women in Leadership – available via Amazon & Next Leadership (https://www.nextleadership.co.uk/7ds)   🎯 READY TO STRENGTHEN YOUR RELATIONSHIPS? – Take the FREE Relationship Skills Quiz:http://the4habitsquiz.scoreapp.com – Grab the book: https://the4habits.com/book/ 📩 Guest or topic ideas? hello@the4habits.com #WomenInLeadership #SelfSabotage #HealthyBoundaries #AmbitiousWomen #LeadershipDevelopment #NextLeadership #HealthyRelationships #WorkLifeBalance #The4HabitsPod #RelationshipHabits #LeadWithoutApology

    57 min
  3. E123 | The Real Secret to Leading Under Pressure | Dr. Louise Drake

    JAN 30

    E123 | The Real Secret to Leading Under Pressure | Dr. Louise Drake

    The most capable teams still stall. Dr. Louise Drake reveals why — and what great leaders do differently.   In this episode of The 4 Habits Podcast, leadership strategist and educator Dr. Louise Drake joins Dr. Andrea and Jon to expose the hidden pressure points that quietly hold teams back — even when everyone’s capable, collaborative, and committed.   Drawing from her work at the University of Cambridge Institute for Sustainability Leadership (CISL) and as Director of the Mastercard Foundation Scholars Program, Louise unpacks what most leaders miss: performance problems are often relational problems in disguise.   This conversation is essential listening for senior leaders, team coaches, and HR decision-makers who want better results — not by pushing harder, but by leading differently under pressure.   🔍 In this episode: – Why “nice” cultures often avoid the real issues – The surprising leadership shift that unlocks trust and momentum – Signs your team is stuck — even if it looks fine on the surface – How to handle pressure without losing clarity or connection – The hidden skill great leaders get right (and few talk about)   📌 If you lead a team, manage performance, or support culture change — this episode gives you the language and insight to lead what really matters.   ⏱️ 4. EPISODE HIGHLIGHTS (TIMESTAMPS)   00:00 Who is Dr. Louise Drake? 03:25 What pressure reveals inside teams 07:10 “Nice culture” and the cost of avoiding challenge 11:35 Capability isn’t the issue — connection is 16:15 The moment everything slowed — real leadership stories 21:50 What good leadership looks like when it’s quiet 26:30 The missing language most teams don’t realise they need 31:45 The trust-performance flywheel 35:20 Final insight: How to show up when it matters most 🚀 5. NEXT STEPS SECTION   👉 CONNECT WITH DR. LOUISE DRAKE 🔗 LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/louise-drake-82b19316 🔗 Leadership Report: LeadershipCapabilities for the 21st Century   🎯 READY TO STRENGTHEN RELATIONSHIPS UNDERPRESSURE? – Senior leader or team coach? 👉 Request a private diagnostic conversation: https://the4habits.com/contact-us – Take the FREE Relationship Skills Quiz:http://the4habitsquiz.scoreapp.com – Grab the book: https://the4habits.com/book/   #HealthyRelationships #LeadershipUnderPressure #TeamPerformance #The4HabitsPod #OrganisationalCulture #WorkLifeBalance #RelationalLeadership #NiceCulture #TrustAtWork

    53 min
  4. E122 | When Business Hits Home | Dr. Andrea & Jon Taylor-Cummings

    JAN 23

    E122 | When Business Hits Home | Dr. Andrea & Jon Taylor-Cummings

    When business pressure comes home, it reshapes your relationship.   If you’re a founder, entrepreneur, or ambitious leader building something significant — and you’ve felt that pressure spill into your marriage or partnership — this episode explores why.   Entrepreneurship changes relationships. Not because you’re broken. But because pressure changes patterns.   In this episode, Dr Andrea & Jon Taylor-Cummings unpack how business stress affects marriage, emotional connection, communication, conflict, financial tension, and identity — especially for entrepreneurial couples.   You’ll hear about: Why couples in business often become co-workersHow misalignment under pressure quietly erodes connectionEmotional spillover between work and homeWhy financial stress amplifies relationship conflictBurnout, depletion, and identity shiftsWhy habits — not personality — drive relationship patterns  This conversation is for founders & life partners who want alignment — not drift. 🎯 START HERE: Take the Relationship Check-In   If this resonated, the best next step is our free:   👉 Aligned Under Pressure – Relationship Check-In   This short assessment helps you reflect on: Personal impactDifferencesConflictTrustBoundariesAppreciation It’s not therapy. It’s not diagnosis. It’s a mirror.   Take it here: 👉 https://alignedunderpressure.scoreapp.com 🧭 Then Join the Build & Bond Discovery Webinar   If you want to go deeper, we host a practical live session for founders & life partners:   Slow downUnderstand pressure patternsLearn small shifts that protect connection  Details here: 👉 https://the4habits.com/when-business-hits-home Because success should strengthen your relationship — not silently erode it. ⏱ Episode Timestamps   00:00 – When business pressure doesn’t stop at the office door 01:20 – “You’re not broken, you’re under pressure” 03:00 – When all you talk about is work 09:40 – Misalignment under pressure 15:30 – Curiosity vs criticism 19:20 – Emotional spillover between work and home 27:50 – Distress vs compassion cycle 33:00 – Financial pressure: the silent amplifier 41:00 – Burnout and identity shifts 50:30 – Why habits drive patterns 52:10 – Invitation to go deeper #EntrepreneurRelationships #FounderMarriage #BusinessAndMarriage #MarriageUnderPressure #EntrepreneurLife #WorkLifeBalance #RelationshipAdvice #BusinessStress #FoundersAndLifePartners #MarriageAndEntrepreneurship #HealthyRelationships #WorkLifeBalance #RelationshipAdvice #PersonalGrowth #The4HabitsPod

    53 min
  5. E121 | Turn Conflict Into Connection — Even Under Pressure | Dr. Kelly Flanagan

    JAN 22

    E121 | Turn Conflict Into Connection — Even Under Pressure | Dr. Kelly Flanagan

    Conflict isn’t the real problem — disconnection is. And you don’t need fixing to feel whole again.   In this powerful episode of The 4 Habits Podcast, clinical psychologist and bestselling author Dr. Kelly Flanagan joins Dr. Andrea and Jon to unpack how our attempts to protect our worth often create the very conflict and disconnection we long to escape.   Based on decades of work with high-achieving professionals, couples, and leaders under pressure, Kelly shares a transformational shift: the key to deeper connection isn’t fixing yourself — it’s coming home to who you are.   This episode speaks directly to founders, busy professionals and senior leaders facing relational tension at work and at home.   In this episode: The 3 ego lies that sabotage connectionWhy conflict often starts within — not betweenWhat emotional safety really looks like in high-stakes momentsThe “proving” trap that keeps leaders and partners stuckA new way to respond under pressure — without losing yourself  Whether you’re leading a team or trying to repair closeness with someone you love, this conversation will reshape how you think about conflict, connection, and worth.   EPISODE HIGHLIGHTS (TIMESTAMPS)   00:00 Who is Dr. Kelly Flanagan? 04:30 The 3 lies of the ego 08:20 Conflict starts inside, not outside 11:40 Why we disconnect under pressure 16:00 What emotional safety sounds like 19:30 Founders, couples & hidden resentment 23:10 When “being helpful” is actually protection 26:45 Turn conflict into connection: the real shift 31:00 Staying connected in high-stakes moments 35:20 The realisation: “You were never broken”   NEXT STEPS   👉 CONNECT WITH DR. KELLY FLANAGAN – Pre-order The Road Less Triggered: Turning Conflict into Connection with a Single Choice (Amazon): https://a.co/d/7XtPDsM – Website: https://drkellyflanagan.com   🎯 READY TO CREATE EMOTIONAL SAFETY IN YOUR TEAM OR RELATIONSHIP?   – Founders, Couples or Senior Leaders: If you’re navigating conflict, pressure or disconnection — at home or in a team — request a confidential diagnostic conversation or ask for an invite to one of our private roundtables.   💬 Visit: https://the4habits.com/contact-us 📩 Message us directly: hello@the4habits.com   – Curious about our approach? Take the free Relationship Intelligence Quiz and discover your score: http://the4habitsquiz.scoreapp.com   – Need a shared language for your team or partner? Get the book: https://the4habits.com/book/   #DrKellyFlanagan #EmotionalSafety #ConflictResolution #SelfWorth #TurnConflictIntoConnection #The4HabitsPod #RelationshipAdvice #LeadershipUnderPressure #WorkLifeBalance #HealthyRelationships

    43 min
  6. E120 | Culture Isn’t Your Values, It’s Behaviour Under Pressure | Dr. Andrea & Jon T-C

    JAN 9

    E120 | Culture Isn’t Your Values, It’s Behaviour Under Pressure | Dr. Andrea & Jon T-C

    Culture under pressure reveals the truth about your team. If your values look great on paper but performance drifts when things get tense, this episode explains why, and what leaders can do differently.   In this founder-only episode of The 4 Habits Podcast, Dr. Andrea and Jon Taylor-Cummings unpack a pattern they’re seeing across leadership teams, smart people, strong intentions, yet growing friction, avoidance, and misalignment.   The issue usually isn’t effort or capability. It’s how people behave with each other when pressure hits.   In this conversation, you’ll learn: – Why culture isn’t what you say you value, it’s what people do when things feel uncomfortable – How “nice teams” slowly lose clarity, accountability, and trust – The hidden cost of avoiding challenge in the name of harmony – The leadership balance of support and challenge, and why you need both – Four practical questions leaders can use to surface friction early and reset trust If parts of this conversation feel uncomfortably familiar, that’s not a problem, it’s information. Small moments of avoidance, left unaddressed, quietly become culture. 👥 For senior leaders and founders We host a small number of private, off-the-record leadership roundtables for senior leaders who want to reduce friction, strengthen trust, and improve performance without burning out their teams.   These are not webinars and not sales calls. They’re peer conversations, facilitated by us, for leaders who want practical insight and clarity.   👉 Request an invitation to one of our private leadership roundtables, here: https://the4habits.com/contact-us 🔗 LINKS & NEXT STEPS 🎥 Subscribe on YouTube https://www.youtube.com/@The4Habits 🎧 Listen on Spotify https://open.spotify.com/show/0fWvVbnNNhh9jodRYGG1O1   ⏱️ EPISODE HIGHLIGHTS (TIMESTAMPS) 00:00 – Why capable teams still struggle under pressure 00:50 – Culture isn’t values, it’s behaviour 02:30 – The support vs challenge imbalance leaders miss 07:10 – “Nice teams” and the slow drift problem 13:20 – Pressure doesn’t change people, it reveals them 18:40 – The real cost of avoiding hard conversations 24:30 – Assumptions, silence, and hybrid team friction 31:10 – What high-performing cultures do differently 38:20 – Four questions leaders can use this week 42:10 – Invitation to the private leadership roundtables   #HealthyRelationships #WorkLifeBalance #RelationshipAdvice #PersonalGrowth #The4HabitsPod #WorkplaceCulture #LeadershipDevelopment #TeamCulture #PsychologicalSafety #HighPerformingTeams

    28 min
  7. E119 | Why 50/50 Relationships Don’t Work | Chris Loper

    JAN 2

    E119 | Why 50/50 Relationships Don’t Work | Chris Loper

    Struggling to feel like things are truly fair in your relationship? Wondering why 50/50 never works out the way you imagined? In this episode of The 4 Habits Podcast, writer and habit coach Chris Loper invites us to challenge one of the most popular relationship myths — and rethink what healthy partnership really looks like.   Together, we explore how the mindset of fairness can lead to frustration, how habits shape the emotional tone of your connection, and what it really takes to thrive — not just survive — in long-term love, parenting, and personal growth.   🎄 Released in the reflective run-up to the New Year, this is the perfect listen if you’re ready to ditch scorekeeping and build better habits for 2026 — at home and at work.   ⏱️ EPISODE HIGHLIGHTS (TIMESTAMPS)   00:00 – Intro 02:00 – What’s wrong with 50/50 relationships? 06:30 – Keeping score: the silent killer 10:10 – The 100/100 mindset shift 14:45 – Why habits are relationship tools 19:30 – From burnout to better balance 24:00 – Modelling healthy habits for your kids 30:20 – Emotional labour and the unseen weight 35:00 – Chris’s journey through sobriety 41:00 – The ROI of tiny changes 44:45 – Final takeaway: “You’re annoying too.”   ✅ NEXT STEPS   📍 Connect with Chris Loper – Website: https://www.becomingbetter.org – Article: Why 50/50 Relationships Don’t Work (https://becomingbetter.org/why-50-50-relationships-dont-work/) – Course: Parenting for AcademicSuccess (https://www.nwtutoring.com/parenting-for-academic-success/) – LinkedIn:https://www.linkedin.com/in/chris-loper-690292124/   📍 Explore More from The 4 Habits – YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@The4Habits – Spotify: https://open.spotify.com/show/0fWvVbnNNhh9jodRYGG1O1 – FREE Quiz: http://the4habitsquiz.scoreapp.com – Course: https://learn.the4habits.com/courses/rq-blueprint-for-healthy-relationships – Book: https://the4habits.com/book/ – Guest suggestions: hello@the4habits.com   #RelationshipHabits #FairnessInRelationships#50/50Myth #ChrisLoper #HealthyPartnerships #PersonalGrowth #The4HabitsPod #SelfCareInMarriage#ParentingSupport #HolidayStress #NewYearHabits #HabitCoach #EmotionalLabor #RelationshipBurnout

    45 min
  8. E118 | Struggling with Intimacy? Reconnect in Any Season | Emma Waring

    12/26/2025

    E118 | Struggling with Intimacy? Reconnect in Any Season | Emma Waring

    Struggling with intimacy in your relationship — especially during the holidays? You’re not alone. For many couples, emotional disconnection, stress, and mismatched desire feel more intense this time of year. That’s why psychosexual therapist Emma Waring joins us with practical, compassionate insight into how to reconnect, restore emotional safety, and reignite closeness in any season of life or love.   In this episode, we explore the changing nature of intimacy, why sexual challenges are often relational, and how to move from shame or silence into meaningful connection. Whether you’re navigating a dry season in marriage, coping with stress from Christmas and family gatherings, or just want to feel close again — this conversation is full of powerful, grace-filled takeaways.   💡 What you’ll learn: ✔️ Why sex and intimacy go through “seasons” — and how to respond ✔️ The key mindset shift for dealing with desire mismatch ✔️ How to talk about sex without fear, shutdown, or shame ✔️ What stops couples from reconnecting — and how to move forward ✔️ The surprising role of touch, trust, and safety in reigniting intimacy   ⏱️ EPISODE HIGHLIGHTS (TIMESTAMPS)   00:00 | Intro – Why intimacy breakdowns are rarely about “just sex” 03:15 | Emma’s journey from cardiac nurse to sex therapist 06:40 | Seasons of intimacy – what they are and why they matter 10:20 | Why mismatched desire is normal (but still hard) 13:50 | How to talk about sex without triggering shutdown 17:30 | The real blocks to connection – and how to clear them 21:10 | Why emotional safety matters more than technique 25:45 | When to get help — and what therapy actually offers 30:00 | Navigating faith and intimacy in public conversations 34:20 | Emma’s advice for couples who’ve drifted apart   ✅ NEXT STEPS   📍 Connect with Emma Waring – Website: https://www.emmawaring.com – Book: Seasons of Sex and Intimacy (https://www.emmawaring.com/the-book) – LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/emma-waring-a1095a53/   🎧 Explore More from The 4 Habits Podcast – YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@The4Habits – Spotify: https://open.spotify.com/show/0fWvVbnNNhh9jodRYGG1O1 – FREE Quiz: http://the4habitsquiz.scoreapp.com – Course: https://learn.the4habits.com/courses/rq-blueprint-for-healthy-relationships – Book: https://the4habits.com/book/ – Suggest a guest: hello@the4habits.com   #StrugglingWithIntimacy #RelationshipIntimacy #EmotionalSafety #ReconnectWithYourPartner #MarriageSupport #ChristmasStress #HolidayRelationships #HealthyRelationships #The4HabitsPod #EmmaWaring

    52 min
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Helping you radically transform the way you do relationships to build Harmony@Home, Thrive@Work, and Win@Life. In their 2019 TEDx Talk, Dr. Andrea & Jon Taylor-Cummings, shared The 4 Habits of ALL Successful Relationships (3M+ views). Over 25+ years working with thousands of relationships they identified 4 Habits that ALL Successful Relationships exhibit - all challenged relationships miss one or more. In this podcast, together with various fascinating guest experts, they share practical insights to help you improve all your relationships at home, at work & in life! Prepare to be inspired.

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