Real Influence w/ Joey Vaillancourt

Joey Vaillancourt
  • 5.0 (16)
  • Self-Improvement
  • Updated Weekly

Welcome to Real Influence with Joey V, where you'll learn the tools and meet the people who can help you master the art of self-influence – the innate power we all have to transform our thoughts, beliefs, habits, and behaviors and lead more intentional, authentic, and inspired lives. In each episode, Joey Vaillancourt shares personal stories from his journey of radically reinventing his life and invites his guests to reveal the techniques they've used to overcome adversity and create success on their terms. Whether you're looking to grow your business, improve your relationship, or find more fulfillment in your personal life, Real Influence With Joey V is your place to discover how to lead yourself first and, in doing so, create a ripple effect that influences the world around you. If you're ready to stop letting the external forces around you control your reality and start transforming your life from the inside out, you've come to the right place. Check your ego at the door, drop the mask, and prepare to explore what's REAL—because that's where true influence begins.

  1. 120.The Self-Help Addiction Trap: When Personal Development Becomes Avoidance

    2d ago

    120.The Self-Help Addiction Trap: When Personal Development Becomes Avoidance

    There's a point where personal development stops helping and starts keeping you stuck. In this episode, Joey opens up about a pattern he's seen in himself over the past year: the urge to find one more coach, one more breakthrough, one more framework, one more answer. On the surface, it looks like growth. But underneath, it can become something else entirely — avoidance. If you've been stuck in self improvement, overthinking your next move, consuming more than you're creating, or feeling burned out by how much "work" you've already done on yourself, this episode is for you. You'll learn: Why self help addiction can feel productive while quietly keeping you stuck The difference between pain vs suffering — and how we create extra suffering by revisiting old stories How coaching addiction and constant learning can become procrastination through learning Why there's a point where you don't need more insight — you need reps How to tell when you actually need support… and when you just need to take action Helpful Links: The Great Life Experiment You built the life. You hit the goals. But the pressure, overthinking, and old patterns still keep showing up. The Great Life Experiment is a free 30-day challenge with one question a day to help you uncover the unconscious patterns underneath it all. Take the FREE quiz here:  Pressure Pattern Profile Quiz Chapters: 00:00 The trap of always needing "more" 00:39 When personal development becomes addiction 01:48 Pain vs suffering 02:25 The validation loop behind coaching addiction 03:05 Why I thought I needed another mentor 04:17 The question that stopped me from hiring another coach 05:07 Alignment vs fear 06:06 Choosing a coach whose life you actually want 06:59 The next offer… and the same hesitation 08:53 Breakthroughs, blind spots, and reopening old stories 10:53 Why talking about old problems can keep them alive 12:17 You don't need to fix every area right now 13:22 Taking action vs learning more 14:28 The hamster wheel of self improvement 15:23 What you probably need now is reps Connect with Joey on your favourite social platforms! Joey Vaillancourt (Real Influence website) Instagram Facebook  LinkedIn YouTube   Enhance your mental clarity, focus, and brain wellness with NeuroVizr—get 10% off with code JOEYV. Transform your meditation and boost sleep, creativity, and focus with Sens.ai—save $100 with code REALINFLUENCE. About: Joey Vaillancourt is the host of Real Influence, a show for high performers who can't turn it off. If you've built the life, hit the goals, and still feel the pressure, this is for you. Joey helps entrepreneurs and executives rewire the unconscious patterns driving the need to force, fix, and prove, so they can achieve more by leading with presence instead of pressure.

    19 min
  2. 119.The Five Regrets of the Dying and What They Can Teach High Performers Today

    Jun 29

    119.The Five Regrets of the Dying and What They Can Teach High Performers Today

    Most people don't wait until the end of life to discover what's important. They simply wait too long to act on what they've known all along. Inspired by Bronnie Ware's The Five Regrets of the Dying, this episode explores the hidden pattern behind the most common life regrets and why so many ambitious people unknowingly build lives around expectations instead of intention. If you've been caught in hustle culture, constantly postponing happiness until the next milestone, this episode offers a different perspective. Rather than blowing up your life, Joey explains how small shifts in awareness can help you reconnect with what actually matters.   In this episode • The real meaning behind the five deathbed regrets • Why high performers are especially vulnerable to burnout • How societal expectations quietly shape our decisions • Why authentic living begins with better questions • Reflection exercises to help you start course correcting today Chapters 00:00 The Question Successful People Avoid 00:42 The Five Regrets of the Dying 02:06 One Pattern Behind Every Regret 03:14 Why This Book Changed My Life 05:28 The Five Deathbed Regrets 07:38 Whose Life Are You Living? 09:52 The "Later" That Never Comes 11:18 Borrow the Clarity Now 12:15 Course Correct Without Starting Over 13:49 Awareness Is the Beginning 15:02 Final Reflections Connect with Joey on your favourite social platforms! https://joeyvaillancourt.com/ https://www.instagram.com/joeyvaillancourt/ https://www.facebook.com/joey.vaillancourt.9/ https://www.linkedin.com/in/joey-vaillancourt/ https://www.youtube.com/@joeyvaillancourt-realinfluence https://joeyvaillancourt.com/the-30-day-challenge/ Enhance your mental clarity, focus, and brain wellness with NeuroVizr—get 10% off with code JOEYV. https://neurovizr.com/?ref=rirxqhll Transform your meditation and boost sleep, creativity, and focus with Sens.ai—save $100 with code REALINFLUENCE. https://sens.ai/realinfluence About: Joey Vaillancourt is the host of Real Influence — a show for high performers who can't turn it off. If you've built the life, hit the goals, and still feel the pressure — this is for you. Joey helps entrepreneurs and executives rewire the unconscious patterns driving the need to force, fix, and prove, so they can achieve more by leading with presence instead of pressure.

    18 min
  3. 118.My Wife Asked Me One Question at 9PM (It Changed My Whole Life)

    Jun 22

    118.My Wife Asked Me One Question at 9PM (It Changed My Whole Life)

    It's 9 PM. You told yourself you'd be done hours ago. But you're still answering messages, checking one more thing, handling one more problem, and convincing yourself that this season is temporary. For many entrepreneurs and high performers, the issue isn't a lack of discipline. It's not poor time management. It's a subconscious pattern that equates being needed with being valuable. In this episode, Joey Vaillancourt shares the personal story that changed his relationship with work, family, and success. From hustle culture conditioning to high functioning anxiety and the constant need to stay available, he explores why so many successful people struggle to actually be present in their own lives. This conversation is about nervous system regulation, awareness, work life balance, and learning how to stop overworking without sacrificing your ambitions. The goal isn't doing less. The goal is becoming someone who can fully experience the life they're working so hard to build. Topics Covered High performer burnout and hidden pressure patterns Why being available is not the same as being present The relationship between overworking and identity Stress management for entrepreneurs High functioning anxiety and subconscious conditioning The downside of hustle culture How nervous system regulation supports sustainable success Practical ways to reconnect with what matters most Chapters: 00:00 The 9 PM Moment 01:11 Why Overworking Isn't a Time Problem 02:37 Being Available vs Being Present 03:41 The Night That Changed Everything 05:04 The Wake-Up Call From My Wife 06:21 Repeating the Same Pattern 07:16 What You're Really Working For 08:08 Principle 1: Available Is Not Present 10:02 Principle 2: Pressure Is a Learned Pattern 12:25 Principle 3: The Life You're Protecting 15:43 Principle 4: You Don't Need to Leave to Change 18:36 Finding Peace Before the Next Milestone 18:52 Awareness Is the First Shift 20:08 The Question That Changes Everything   Connect with Joey on your favourite social platforms! https://joeyvaillancourt.com/ https://www.instagram.com/joeyvaillancourt/ https://www.facebook.com/joey.vaillancourt.9/ https://www.linkedin.com/in/joey-vaillancourt/ https://www.youtube.com/@joeyvaillancourt-realinfluence https://joeyvaillancourt.com/the-30-day-challenge/ Enhance your mental clarity, focus, and brain wellness with NeuroVizr—get 10% off with code JOEYV. https://neurovizr.com/?ref=rirxqhll Transform your meditation and boost sleep, creativity, and focus with Sens.ai—save $100 with code REALINFLUENCE. https://sens.ai/realinfluence About: Joey Vaillancourt is the host of Real Influence — a show for high performers who can't turn it off. If you've built the life, hit the goals, and still feel the pressure — this is for you. Joey helps entrepreneurs and executives rewire the unconscious patterns driving the need to force, fix, and prove, so they can achieve more by leading with presence instead of pressure.

    23 min
  4. 117.I Was Called A B-Grader And I Didn't Take It Well (How to Receive Feedback)

    Jun 15

    117.I Was Called A B-Grader And I Didn't Take It Well (How to Receive Feedback)

    Why do some comments stay with us for years while others roll right off our backs? In this episode, Joey Vaillancourt explores the hidden reason feedback feels so personal and why criticism often triggers something much deeper than the conversation itself. Using a personal story about receiving difficult workplace feedback, Joey breaks down the beliefs, emotions, and unconscious patterns that shape how we respond when someone points out a weakness, challenge, or blind spot. You'll learn how to receive feedback with a growth mindset, separate facts from stories, and use criticism as a tool for self-leadership rather than self-judgment. If you're a high performer who struggles with criticism, overthinking, or feeling not enough, this episode will give you a practical framework for responding differently.     TheGreatLifeExperiment.ca — You built life. You hit the goals. But the pressure never actually left. The Great Life Experiment is a free 30-day challenge with one powerful question each day to help uncover the unconscious patterns driving stress and suffering. Start here → thegreatlifeexperiment.ca 🔗 Take the FREE Pressure Pattern Profile Quiz → https://joeyvaillancourt.com/pressure-pattern-quiz/   Topics Covered • Why feedback feels threatening • Constructive feedback vs personal identity • How to stop taking criticism personally • The beliefs driving emotional reactions • The Real Influence Ladder framework • Emotional regulation during difficult conversations • Receiving feedback with a growth mindset   Timestamps 00:00 The Feedback That Haunted Me for Years 01:05 Why Feedback Feels Personal 02:13 The Belief Behind Every Reaction 03:21 Feedback Is a Mirror, Not a Verdict 04:22 The "B Player" Story 06:38 Why Meaning Creates Suffering 09:02 What Feedback Meant Growing Up 10:16 Separating Facts From Stories 11:08 A Real-Life Example at Home 13:20 The Question That Changes Everything 15:03 The Real Influence Ladder 18:56 Feedback as Information, Not Identity 21:18 The Gift Hidden Inside Criticism   Connect with Joey on your favourite social platforms! https://joeyvaillancourt.com/ https://www.instagram.com/joeyvaillancourt/ https://www.facebook.com/joey.vaillancourt.9/ https://www.linkedin.com/in/joey-vaillancourt/ https://www.youtube.com/@joeyvaillancourt-realinfluence https://joeyvaillancourt.com/the-30-day-challenge/ Enhance your mental clarity, focus, and brain wellness with NeuroVizr—get 10% off with code JOEYV. https://neurovizr.com/?ref=rirxqhll Transform your meditation and boost sleep, creativity, and focus with Sens.ai—save $100 with code REALINFLUENCE. https://sens.ai/realinfluence About: Joey Vaillancourt is the host of Real Influence — a show for high performers who can't turn it off. If you've built the life, hit the goals, and still feel the pressure — this is for you. Joey helps entrepreneurs and executives rewire the unconscious patterns driving the need to force, fix, and prove, so they can achieve more by leading with presence instead of pressure.

    25 min
  5. 116.Live Coaching Session on Overwhelm, Anxiety, and Burnout Recovery

    May 25

    116.Live Coaching Session on Overwhelm, Anxiety, and Burnout Recovery

    What happens when the person teaching the tools becomes the one struggling to use them? In this episode of the Real Influence podcast, I sit down with my wife, Monika, for a raw and unfiltered live coaching session on overwhelm, anxiety, burnout, and suffering. Instead of speaking from the other side of the breakthrough, I open up in real time about feeling mentally overloaded, emotionally exhausted, disconnected from clarity, and trapped under pressure from multiple areas of life. Together, we unpack: • why high performers get stuck in overwhelm • how nervous system regulation affects the way we think • the hidden identity patterns behind burnout • why suffering comes from meaning, not circumstances • how coaching helps uncover blind spots • what it actually looks like to rewire your brain in real time If you've been carrying pressure silently while trying to hold everything together… this episode is for you. This isn't polished self-help. It's a real conversation in the middle of the struggle.   TheGreatLifeExperiment.ca — You built the life. You hit the goals. But the pressure never actually left. The Great Life Experiment is a free 30-day challenge with one powerful question each day to help uncover the unconscious patterns driving stress and suffering.   Start here → thegreatlifeexperiment.ca 🔗 Take the FREE Pressure Pattern Profile Quiz → https://joeyvaillancourt.com/pressure-pattern-quiz/   Topics Covered Live coaching through overwhelm and suffering Burnout recovery for entrepreneurs and executives Nervous system regulation and emotional states Anxiety, pressure, and mental overload Reframing failure and emotional meaning Why asking for help changes your state Neuroplasticity and subconscious rewiring   Timestamps 00:00 Joey Opens Up About His Own Suffering 01:33 Why Everyone Needs a Coach 03:04 Living in Constant Pressure as a High Performer 05:44 Starting the Coaching Session 07:21 Feeling Scattered and Mentally Overloaded 11:42 The Thoughts Behind Overwhelm 14:27 Where Stress Shows Up in the Body 16:20 Nervous System Regulation Explained 18:44 The Meaning We Attach to Suffering 21:17 Why This Chaos Might Be Necessary 24:56 Reframing Failure and Progress 29:08 Isolation vs Asking for Support 31:19 Shifting Out of a Primal State 34:43 Neuroplasticity and Rewiring Your Brain 38:56 Why Coaching Accelerates Growth 42:30 The Decision Matrix Exercise   Connect with Joey on your favourite social platforms! https://joeyvaillancourt.com/ https://www.instagram.com/joeyvaillancourt/ https://www.facebook.com/joey.vaillancourt.9/ https://www.linkedin.com/in/joey-vaillancourt/ https://www.youtube.com/@joeyvaillancourt-realinfluence https://joeyvaillancourt.com/the-30-day-challenge/ Enhance your mental clarity, focus, and brain wellness with NeuroVizr—get 10% off with code JOEYV. https://neurovizr.com/?ref=rirxqhll Transform your meditation and boost sleep, creativity, and focus with Sens.ai—save $100 with code REALINFLUENCE. https://sens.ai/realinfluence   Connect with Monika! Social: https://www.instagram.com/monikavaillancourt/ Coaching: https://joeyvaillancourt.com/coaching/      About: Joey Vaillancourt is the host of Real Influence — a show for high performers who can't turn it off. If you've built the life, hit the goals, and still feel the pressure — this is for you. Joey helps entrepreneurs and executives rewire the unconscious patterns driving the need to force, fix, and prove, so they can achieve more by leading with presence instead of pressure.

    49 min
  6. 115.Discipline Without Pressure-Driven Sacrifice

    May 11

    115.Discipline Without Pressure-Driven Sacrifice

    Most high performers aren't lacking discipline. They're carrying pressure. In this episode, Joey breaks down the hidden emotional pattern behind pressure-driven discipline — and why success can quietly disconnect you from your life if you're not careful. This conversation explores how many entrepreneurs and high achievers build their identity around sacrifice, proving themselves, and delaying life for "later." The problem is… later never really comes. Joey shares five principles for creating discipline from a healthier place — one rooted in awareness, alignment, nervous system regulation, and intentional living instead of constant internal pressure. If you've achieved success but still feel heavy, restless, or unable to relax… this episode will likely feel very familiar. TheGreatLifeExperiment.ca — You built the life. You hit the goals. But the pressure never actually left. The Great Life Experiment is a free 30-day challenge that helps you see and shift the unconscious patterns keeping you stuck in that loop — one question a day. That's it. Start here → thegreatlifeexperiment.ca 🔗 Take the FREE Pressure Pattern Profile Quiz → https://joeyvaillancourt.com/pressure-pattern-quiz/ Topics covered: Pressure-driven sacrifice Discipline and identity High achiever mindset Nervous system regulation How to be disciplined without burnout Self improvement and personal growth Accountability and coaching Creating success without disconnecting from life Timestamps: 00:00 Discipline Isn't The Real Problem 00:19 The Hidden Cost Of Sacrifice 00:55 Why High Performers Feel Pressure 02:04 When Discipline Starts Feeling Heavy 03:05 Discipline Reflects Identity 04:18 Success Through Self-Deprivation 05:40 Principle 1: Act Like Someone Is Watching 08:00 Principle 2: The "I Don't Know If" Framework 10:12 Principle 3: North Star Goals 13:27 Principle 4: The 4D Version Of You 17:14 Principle 5: Accountability & Coaching 20:56 Discipline Without Pressure 21:44 The Pattern Behind Success & Sacrifice Connect with Joey on your favourite social platforms! https://joeyvaillancourt.com/ https://www.instagram.com/joeyvaillancourt/ https://www.facebook.com/joey.vaillancourt.9/ https://www.linkedin.com/in/joey-vaillancourt/ https://www.youtube.com/@joeyvaillancourt-realinfluence Enhance your mental clarity, focus, and brain wellness with NeuroVizr—get 10% off with code JOEYV.https://neurovizr.com/?ref=rirxqhll Transform your meditation and boost sleep, creativity, and focus with Sens.ai—save $100 with code REALINFLUENCE. https://sens.ai/realinfluence   About Joey: Joey Vaillancourt, host of the Real Influence podcast, helps people overcome apathy, feeling trapped and living a life of resignation by inspiring them to challenge their assumptions and handed down beliefs so they can experience a more purposeful, fulfilled and aligned life

    25 min
  7. 113.Why High Performers Can't Turn Their Mind Off (And What's Actually Causing It)

    May 4

    113.Why High Performers Can't Turn Their Mind Off (And What's Actually Causing It)

    Most high performers aren't overwhelmed by life itself. They're overwhelmed by what they think life means about them. In this episode of Real Influence, Joey Vaillancourt breaks down the hidden pattern that creates constant pressure—even when things are going well and why success doesn't feel the way you expected it to. You'll learn the difference between pain and suffering, how subconscious patterns shape your experience, and why your nervous system plays a bigger role than you think.     TheGreatLifeExperiment.ca — You built the life. You hit the goals. But the pressure never actually left. The Great Life Experiment is a free 30-day challenge that helps you see and shift the unconscious patterns keeping you stuck in that loop — one question a day. That's it. Start here → thegreatlifeexperiment.ca 🔗 Take the FREE Pressure Pattern Profile Quiz → https://joeyvaillancourt.com/pressure-pattern-quiz/     Topics covered: Why high achievers struggle to relax The difference between pain and identity-based suffering How resistance amplifies pressure The role of subconscious patterns Why awareness alone doesn't create change     Timestamps: 00:00 Pain vs Suffering 00:36 Why High Performers Multiply Pressure 01:35 The Pressure Pattern Explained 03:04 Why Missing Goals Feels So Heavy 04:46 Principle 1: Pain vs Identity 06:38 The Formula: Pain × Resistance 07:20 Principle 2: Resistance 09:40 The Echo Effect 12:41 Future Projection 16:47 Awareness Isn't Enough 19:42 Why Pressure Never Leaves 20:41 How to Start Rewiring It   Connect with Joey on your favourite social platforms! https://joeyvaillancourt.com/ https://www.instagram.com/joeyvaillancourt/ https://www.facebook.com/joey.vaillancourt.9/ https://www.linkedin.com/in/joey-vaillancourt/ https://www.youtube.com/@joeyvaillancourt-realinfluence Enhance your mental clarity, focus, and brain wellness with NeuroVizr—get 10% off with code JOEYV.https://neurovizr.com/?ref=rirxqhll Transform your meditation and boost sleep, creativity, and focus with Sens.ai—save $100 with code REALINFLUENCE. https://sens.ai/realinfluence   About Joey: Joey Vaillancourt, host of the Real Influence podcast, helps people overcome apathy, feeling trapped and living a life of resignation by inspiring them to challenge their assumptions and handed down beliefs so they can experience a more purposeful, fulfilled and aligned life

    24 min
  8. 112.The Hidden Cost of Fighting What Already Happened (Reality)

    Apr 27

    112.The Hidden Cost of Fighting What Already Happened (Reality)

    TheGreatLifeExperiment.ca — You built the life. You hit the goals. But the pressure never actually left. The Great Life Experiment is a free 30-day challenge that helps you see and shift the unconscious patterns keeping you stuck in that loop — one question a day. That's it.    Start here → thegreatlifeexperiment.ca   ---  You say you want clarity. You ask for direction. But when life actually gives you an answer… you resist it.  That's not a strategy problem. That's a pattern.  In this episode, I break down why suffering doesn't come from what happens — it comes from the belief that it shouldn't have.  And why high performers, more than anyone, get trapped in that loop.  We cover:  → Why asking is easy but receiving breaks people → The difference between the event and the story you attach to it  → Why acceptance is power, not weakness  → How to rewrite the narrative once you stop fighting reality  → What alignment actually feels like (hint: it's relief, not effort) If you've been chasing clarity, forcing outcomes, or wondering why nothing clicks even when things look fine on the outside — this one will shift something.  Drop a comment with what you're currently resisting.  That might be exactly where your answer is waiting.    ---  CHAPTERS  00:00 Why You Feel Stuck Even When You Want Clarity  00:20 Asking for Answers but Resisting Them 01:05 The Real Source of Suffering 02:06 Personal Story: Asking for a Sign 04:29 Reframing Unexpected Outcomes 09:05 Asking Is Easy — Receiving Is Hard 10:29 Events vs Stories  11:33 Acceptance, Narrative, and Alignment   Connect with Joey on your favourite social platforms! https://joeyvaillancourt.com/ https://www.instagram.com/joeyvaillancourt/ https://www.facebook.com/joey.vaillancourt.9/ https://www.linkedin.com/in/joey-vaillancourt/ https://www.youtube.com/@joeyvaillancourt-realinfluence Enhance your mental clarity, focus, and brain wellness with NeuroVizr—get 10% off with code JOEYV.https://neurovizr.com/?ref=rirxqhll Transform your meditation and boost sleep, creativity, and focus with Sens.ai—save $100 with code REALINFLUENCE. https://sens.ai/realinfluence   About Joey: Joey Vaillancourt, host of the Real Influence podcast, helps people overcome apathy, feeling trapped and living a life of resignation by inspiring them to challenge their assumptions and handed down beliefs so they can experience a more purposeful, fulfilled and aligned life

    21 min
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5
out of 5
16 Ratings

About

Welcome to Real Influence with Joey V, where you'll learn the tools and meet the people who can help you master the art of self-influence – the innate power we all have to transform our thoughts, beliefs, habits, and behaviors and lead more intentional, authentic, and inspired lives. In each episode, Joey Vaillancourt shares personal stories from his journey of radically reinventing his life and invites his guests to reveal the techniques they've used to overcome adversity and create success on their terms. Whether you're looking to grow your business, improve your relationship, or find more fulfillment in your personal life, Real Influence With Joey V is your place to discover how to lead yourself first and, in doing so, create a ripple effect that influences the world around you. If you're ready to stop letting the external forces around you control your reality and start transforming your life from the inside out, you've come to the right place. Check your ego at the door, drop the mask, and prepare to explore what's REAL—because that's where true influence begins.

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