The Average Podcast: Movie Reviews for Social Settings

The Average
  • 5.0 (3)
  • FILM REVIEWS
  • UPDATED BIWEEKLY

Welcome to The Average Podcast! We review movies based on how they would fair in social settings—meaning whether or not a general crowd would enjoy it or not. Your hosts, Jonathan and Tim, walk you through how they scored a movie according to The Average criteria. More importantly, we want to hear from YOU. Follow us on Instagram to download a scorecard, send it to us, and we'll feature you.  Follow us on all platforms: linktr.ee/theaveragereviews

  1. S4.E4: My Bloody Valentine (1981) | Love Sucks, but This Slasher Rules

    16H AGO · VIDEO

    S4.E4: My Bloody Valentine (1981) | Love Sucks, but This Slasher Rules

    Heart-shaped boxes and gas masks: The ultimate horror summit starts NOW! ❤️⛏️  Welcome to Season 4, Episode 4 of The Average. Tonight, we are skipping the corporate romance and descending into the gritty, blue-collar mines of Valentine Bluffs to break down the 1981 cult masterpiece: MY BLOODY VALENTINE.  We are incredibly humbled to be joined by a powerhouse panel of horror creators to discuss the lasting impact, the infamous censorship battles, and the legendary legacy of Harry Warden. Joining Johnathan and Tim in the booth tonight:  🎙️ Jordan from @the_movie_den_ 🎙️ Chris (@beardedfilmguy) from @beyondthebloodpod 🎙️ Rich & Jerry from the @horrorheadspodcast  WE NEED YOUR SCORECARDS! 🫵 On The Average, the real review happens with your friends—and that includes YOU in the live chat. We want to hear your takes on the 9-category scorecard. Does the atmosphere of this Canadian slasher hold up in 2026? Where does Harry rank in the pantheon of horror icons?  👉 SUBMIT YOUR REVIEW: [Insert Link to Bio/Review Form]  📚 WANT MORE HORROR? Check out our books on Amazon and dive deeper into the genre: 👉 https://a.co/d/bUtniBd  🎧 LEVEL UP YOUR PODCAST WITH ZENCASTR Get 30% off your first 3 months of Zencastr Pro and record like a pro: 👉 https://zen.ai/theaveragereviews  📖 EXPAND YOUR LIBRARY WITH PANGOBOOKS Enjoy $5.00 off your first purchase when you use Tim Umpleby’s code “TIMOTHYREADS” at checkout: 👉 https://pangobooks.com/TIMOTHYREADS  FOLLOW OUR GUESTS: 📸 Jordan: @the_movie_den_ 📸 Chris: @beardedfilmguy / @beyondthebloodpod 📸 Horror Heads: @horrorheadspodcast   This is The Average, where the real review happens with your friends.  #MyBloodyValentine #HorrorCommunity #HarryWarden #TheAveragePodcast #SlasherMovies #TheMovieDen #BeyondTheBlood #HorrorHeads #MovieScorecard #80sHorror #LiveStream

    2h 5m
  2. S4.E3. Bullet Train: Styled to Perfection or a Messy Train Wreck? w/ The Kilt and the Redneck

    FEB 5 · VIDEO

    S4.E3. Bullet Train: Styled to Perfection or a Messy Train Wreck? w/ The Kilt and the Redneck

    The doors are closing and the luck is running out! 🚅💥  Welcome to Season 4, Episode 3 of The Average. Tonight, we are stepping onto the fastest train in Japan for a high-speed, neon-drenched deep dive into the 2022 action-extravaganza: BULLET TRAIN. Joining us in the cabin tonight is the fantastic Evan from @thekiltandtheredneck! Together, we’re breaking down why this movie—directed by Brad Pitt’s former stunt double, David Leitch—might just be the most underrated action flick of the last five years.  From the "Seven Samurai" vibes to the legendary chemistry of Lemon and Tangerine, we’re putting this film through our 9-Category Scorecard. Does the stylized "Volume" cinematography and Guy Ritchie-esque dialogue earn it a spot at the top of the Season 4 Leaderboard? Or does the "luck" run out before the final station?  In this episode, we discuss:  Stunt Double to Director: The incredible connection between Brad Pitt and David Leitch.  The Soundstage Secret: How they filmed the Japanese countryside in the middle of LA.  Character Arcs: Why Lemon, Tangerine, and even a bottle of water stole the show.  Style vs. Substance: Does the frantic pacing help or hurt the story?  THE FINAL VERDICT: We average our scores with the LIVE chat to find the definitive rating.  Join the Conversation: On The Average, YOU are the third host. Grab the scorecard from our link below, rate along with us in the chat, and let’s see if your scores can derail our averages!  ✍️ GRAB THE SCORECARD  📸 FOLLOW US ON INSTAGRAM: @theaveragepodcast  🎙️ FOLLOW OUR GUEST: @thekiltandtheredneck    This is The Average, where the real review happens with your friends.  #BulletTrain #BradPitt #MovieReview #TheAveragePodcast #ActionMovies #DavidLeitch #TheKiltAndTheRedneck #MovieScorecard #NeonAction #UnderratedMovies

    1h 19m
  3. S4.E2. Death Spa (1989) The Most RIDICULOUS Horror Movie Ever Made?

    JAN 22 · VIDEO

    S4.E2. Death Spa (1989) The Most RIDICULOUS Horror Movie Ever Made?

    Is this the ultimate "So Bad It’s Good" 80s masterpiece? 🧖‍♂️🩸  Welcome to Season 4, Episode 2 of The Average. Tonight, we’re trading the psychological dread of our premiere for neon spandex, exploding blenders, and the most haunted gym equipment in cinematic history. We are breaking down the 1989 cult classic: DEATH SPA.  To help us survive this workout, we’ve brought in a powerhouse panel of horror expert: 🎙️ Aaron from @aaronsmovies8587 & @abhorrormovies  From the "nudity every ten minutes" rule to some of the most creative practical effects of the era, we’re putting Death Spa through our signature 9-Category Scorecard. Does the 80s synth-wave charm and high-octane camp earn it a high score, or do the massive plot holes drag it down to the basement?  In this episode, we discuss:  The "Sentient" gym computer and the logic (or lack thereof) behind the kills.  The legendary practical effects—from the "acid shower" to the "blender fist."  Why this movie is the quintessential "Social Setting" watch.  THE FINAL VERDICT: We average our scores with the LIVE chat to find the definitive rating.  Join the Conversation: Every week, YOU are the third host. Grab the scorecard from our link below, rate along with us, and see how your scores impact the final average!  ✍️ GRAB THE SCORECARD: https://linktr.ee/theaveragereviews   This is The Average, where the real review happens with your friends.  #DeathSpa #HorrorReview #TheAveragePodcast #80sHorror #CultClassic #PracticalEffects #DarkroomReviews #AaronsMovies #MovieScorecard #Season4✨ Be part of the conversation! Submit your final score here: 👉 https://tr.ee/iGtZ-DpOO6  📚 Want more horror? Check out our books on Amazon: 👉 https://a.co/d/bUtniBd  🎧 Check out our friends at Zencastr and get 30% off your first 3 months of Zencastr Pro: 👉 https://zen.ai/theaveragereviews  📖 Enjoy $5.00 off your first purchase when you use Tim Umpleby’s code “TIMOTHYREADS” at checkout: 👉 https://pangobooks.com/TIMOTHYREADS

    1h 24m
  4. S4.E1. Bring Her Back Review (2025) Last Year's Horror Masterpiece? w/ The Night Club Podcast

    JAN 8 · VIDEO

    S4.E1. Bring Her Back Review (2025) Last Year's Horror Masterpiece? w/ The Night Club Podcast

    Season 4 of The Average is officially HERE! 🎬 We’re kicking things off with the highly anticipated supernatural thriller, Bring Her Back. From the minds of the Philippou brothers (Talk to Me) and starring Sally Hawkins, this movie has a lot to live up to.  To help us break it down, we are joined by a great friend of the show, Travis from @thenightclubpodcast!  WANT TO JOIN THE REVIEW? ✍️ We aren't professional critics—we're fans, and your voice matters. We use a unique 50-point Score Card to determine the final verdict. Download the scorecard in our bio/ https://linktr.ee/theaveragereviewsand submit your scores in the comments! We factor audience averages into our final season rankings.  In this episode, we score: ✅ Story & Character Development ✅ Script & Acting ✅ Music, Sound Design & Special Effects ✅ Direction & Cultural Impact ✅ Pure Enjoyment (The Big One!)  CONNECT WITH OUR GUEST: Follow Travis and The Night Club Podcast  https://linktr.ee/thenightclub?utm_source=linktree_profile_share<sid=bba24f19-9d16-4ff8-acd2-ef3363dabfda ✨ Be part of the conversation! Submit your final score here: 👉 https://tr.ee/iGtZ-DpOO6  📚 Want more horror? Check out our books on Amazon: 👉 https://a.co/d/bUtniBd  🎧 Check out our friends at Zencastr and get 30% off your first 3 months of Zencastr Pro: 👉 https://zen.ai/theaveragereviews  📖 Enjoy $5.00 off your first purchase when you use Tim Umpleby’s code “TIMOTHYREADS” at checkout: 👉 https://pangobooks.com/TIMOTHYREADS JOIN THE COMMUNITY: Instagram & Submit your Scorecard: https://linktr.ee/theaveragereviews #BringHerBack #MovieReview #TheAverageReviews #TheNightClubPodcast #HorrorFans #Season4 #MovieScorecard #PhilippouBrothers

    1h 27m
  5. Night 13: MIDSOMMAR (2019) – The End of the Harvest | 13 Nights of Halloween Finale

    JAN 8 · VIDEO

    Night 13: MIDSOMMAR (2019) – The End of the Harvest | 13 Nights of Halloween Finale

    🌼 The Final Night. The Final Season. The End of The 13 Nights of Halloween. 🌼  For our grand finale, we’re closing the circle with MIDSOMMAR (2019) — Ari Aster’s sunlit nightmare of grief, ritual, and rebirth. Joining Tim and Johnathan is Ricky from @thenightclubpodcast, bringing his sharp insight into folk horror, psychology, and the human cost of belonging.  Together, we unpack one of the most unsettling modern horror masterpieces — where daylight burns brighter than darkness, and every flower hides a secret. ☀️💀  🔥 In this final episode, we explore: • The roots of Midsommar in ancient European ritual and myth • The film’s depiction of grief, control, and emotional manipulation • Aster’s symbolism — from fertility to sacrifice • And how Midsommar represents the perfect closing chapter for The 13 Nights of Halloween: Folk Horror Edition  Thank you for joining us on this journey — from the first ritual to the last pyre. 🌾 This might be the end of 13 Nights, but the dread lives on in The Dread Broadcast.  ✨ Be part of the conversation! Submit your final score here: 👉 https://tr.ee/iGtZ-DpOO6  📚 Want more horror? Check out our books on Amazon: 👉 https://a.co/d/bUtniBd  🎧 Check out our friends at Zencastr and get 30% off your first 3 months of Zencastr Pro: 👉 https://zen.ai/theaveragereviews  📖 Enjoy $5.00 off your first purchase when you use Tim Umpleby’s code “TIMOTHYREADS” at checkout: 👉 https://pangobooks.com/TIMOTHYREADS  💀 Huge thanks to Ricky from @thenightclubpodcast for helping us close out this era of horror, ritual, and community.  👁️ Don’t forget to LIKE, COMMENT your score for Midsommar, and SUBSCRIBE to follow us into the next chapter — The Dread Broadcast.  #Midsommar #13NightsOfHalloween #TheFinalNight #FolkHorror #AriAster #TheNightClubPodcast #TheAverageReviews #HorrorPodcast #FlorencePugh #CultsAndRituals #PsychologicalHorror #MovieDiscussion #ScareScore #Halloween2025 #TheDreadBroadcast

    2h 6m
  6. Night 12: The Witch – A Folk Horror Masterclass | 13 Nights fo Halloween

    10/30/2025 · VIDEO

    Night 12: The Witch – A Folk Horror Masterclass | 13 Nights fo Halloween

    On Night 12 of our haunted countdown, we dive into the bleak, bone-chilling world of Robert Eggers’ The Witch — a slow-burn folk horror masterpiece steeped in historical dread, religious paranoia, and a talking goat named Black Phillip.  Join Tim and Johnathan, along with special guest filmmaker Adam Gall, as they break down this 2015 modern classic. We dig into the film’s Puritanical roots, the real history behind the witch trials, and why Anya Taylor-Joy’s debut as Thomasin still haunts us nearly a decade later.  🔥 We rate the film using our signature Average scoring system—story, scares, rewatchability, atmosphere, and more. You can score along with us using the templates on our Instagram!  🕯️ Topics include:  • The role of isolation and grief in The Witch  • Behind-the-scenes trivia and Eggers’ obsession with historical accuracy  • Black Phillip: GOAT or… goat?  • The terrifying ambiguity of religious fear ✨ Be part of the conversation! Submit your own score here: 👉 https://tr.ee/iGtZ-DpOO6 📚 Want more horror? Check out our books on Amazon: 👉 https://a.co/d/bUtniBd 🎧 Check out our friends at Zencastr and get 30% off your first 3 months of Zencastr Pro: 👉 https://zen.ai/theaveragereviews 📖 Enjoy $5.00 off your first purchase when you use Tim Umpleby’s code “TIMOTHYREADS” at checkout: 👉 https://pangobooks.com/TIMOTHYREADS 👻 Don’t forget to LIKE, COMMENT with your score for Antrum, and SUBSCRIBE for more horror deep dives as we march toward Halloween night!

    1h 32m
  7. Night 11: PYEWACKET with ‪@thehorrorvision1437‬ The Demon You Invite In| 13 Nights of Halloween

    10/30/2025 · VIDEO

    Night 11: PYEWACKET with ‪@thehorrorvision1437‬ The Demon You Invite In| 13 Nights of Halloween

    Tonight, we’re summoning something dark. Join Tim and Johnathan, along with special guest Shawn from @TheHorrorVision, as we dive into Pyewacket — the 2017 folk horror film that proves the most dangerous rituals are the ones you don’t fully understand.  Written and directed by Adam MacDonald, Pyewacket follows a grieving teen who turns to the occult to lash out… and calls forth something she can’t control. With its slow-burn tension, forest isolation, and deeply emotional core, this film has carved out its own eerie space in modern horror.  We’re talking grief, guilt, the dangers of belief, and what happens when you call for help — and something answers.  So grab your ritual books, light the black candles, and join us for Night 7 of 13 Nights of Halloween.  ⸻  ✨ Be part of the conversation! Submit your own score here: 👉 https://tr.ee/iGtZ-DpOO6 📚 Want more horror? Check out our books on Amazon: 👉 https://a.co/d/bUtniBd 🎧 Check out our friends at Zencastr and get 30% off your first 3 months of Zencastr Pro: 👉 https://zen.ai/theaveragereviews 📖 Enjoy $5.00 off your first purchase when you use Tim Umpleby’s code “TIMOTHYREADS” at checkout: 👉 https://pangobooks.com/TIMOTHYREADS

    1h 49m
  8. Night 10: LAMB (2021) – Folk Horror or Farm Drama? | 13 Nights of Halloween

    10/29/2025 · VIDEO

    Night 10: LAMB (2021) – Folk Horror or Farm Drama? | 13 Nights of Halloween

    It’s Night 10 of 13 Nights of Halloween, and we’re heading to the eerie, windswept fields of Iceland for one of the strangest entries in modern folk horror: Lamb (2021).  Directed by Valdimar Jóhannsson and starring Noomi Rapace, this slow-burn A24 film blends rural isolation, ancient superstition, and deep emotional grief—with a sheep-headed child at the center of it all. Is it horror? Is it a tragedy? Is it just really, really boring? We’re diving in.  Join Tim and Johnathan as they discuss the production, symbolism, awards buzz, and why Lamb has become one of the most polarizing movies in recent folk horror.  💀 Want to join in the scoring? Head over to our Instagram (@theaveragereviewspodcast) and grab a scorecard to rate along with us. Drop your score in the comments—your opinion helps us build a better average!  👻 And don’t forget to like, comment, and subscribe to keep up with the rest of 13 Nights of Halloween!  ✨ Be part of the conversation! Submit your own score here: 👉 https://tr.ee/iGtZ-DpOO6 📚 Want more horror? Check out our books on Amazon: 👉 https://a.co/d/bUtniBd 🎧 Check out our friends at Zencastr and get 30% off your first 3 months of Zencastr Pro: 👉 https://zen.ai/theaveragereviews 📖 Enjoy $5.00 off your first purchase when you use Tim Umpleby’s code “TIMOTHYREADS” at checkout: 👉 https://pangobooks.com/TIMOTHYREADS

    47 min
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5
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3 Ratings

About

Welcome to The Average Podcast! We review movies based on how they would fair in social settings—meaning whether or not a general crowd would enjoy it or not. Your hosts, Jonathan and Tim, walk you through how they scored a movie according to The Average criteria. More importantly, we want to hear from YOU. Follow us on Instagram to download a scorecard, send it to us, and we'll feature you.  Follow us on all platforms: linktr.ee/theaveragereviews

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