In Part 2 of this conversation, Emma Murray and Dwayne Kerrigan move from awareness into practical performance tools. Emma introduces one of the most powerful distinctions in high performance: critique versus criticism. She explains why self-criticism is a survival response that quietly destroys confidence, slows learning, and locks people into repeated mistakes. Through examples from elite sport, sales, leadership, parenting, and everyday life, Emma breaks down how to review performance by examining the entire process — thoughts, feelings, actions, and results — rather than attacking outcomes or identity. The conversation also dives into fear-based leadership, tunnel vision, stress responses, and why people perform worse when they feel watched, pressured, or unsafe. Emma shares actionable techniques to regain presence under pressure, including breath, body awareness, and “small focus” anchors that keep the mind out of fight-or-flight. This episode equips leaders, entrepreneurs, and performers with a repeatable framework for learning faster, leading better, and performing consistently — even when stakes are high. Episode Highlights: 00:00 – Emma on self-kindness under pressure and stopping the internal threat response 01:00 – Dwayne intro + framing Part 2: turning attention and mindset into action 02:00 – Critique over criticism: how thoughts drive feelings, actions, and results 03:30 – Outcome focus vs process focus and why pressure hijacks performance 05:05 – How to critique the entire performance process (thinking, feeling, doing) 06:40 – Turning failure into growth by extracting the right lessons 08:00 – Why quarterly reviews fail and daily reflection matters 09:45 – Coaching teams beyond checklists and task correction 11:25 – A-game vs B-game language and building awareness in teams 13:40 – Leaders, fear, control, and psychological safety 15:30 – Running toward outcomes vs accessing creativity and big-picture thinking 17:30 – The “flashlight of attention” metaphor for leaders and parents 19:40 – Stress responses, presence, and anchoring attention (breath, feet, listening) 22:00 – Training attention as a performance muscle 25:45 – Stress cycles, recovery, and sustainable performance 29:10 – Introduction to the Closed Eye Process and presence training 32:00 – Deep dive: critiquing vs criticizing explained step-by-step 36:30 – Survival wiring, subconscious files, and performance memory 39:30 – The CHIMP brain, danger signals, and slipping into B-game 42:30 – Small controllable focus as the pathway back to A-game Key Takeaways: Critique examines process, not personal worthThoughts drive feelings, feelings drive actions, actions drive resultsGrowth comes from extracting learnings — not from failure aloneFear narrows focus and creates tunnel visionSmall, controllable focus prevents fight-or-flightConnection reduces fear and restores execution Quotes: “Failure does not give you growth if you are not actually eliciting the lessons from it.” - Emma Murray “Feet on floor, bum on chair … Bring your attention to your feet, your bum, your breath … those things are gonna anchor you back into the present moment” - Emma Murray “When all this fails, use your breath” - Emma Murray “The human mind cannot carry two thoughts simultaneously.” - Dwayne...
