With it being back to school season, this topic feels especially timely. In this episode, I have the pleasure of speaking with family advocate Tracy Spiaggia, founder of Slingshot Health Coaching, about recognizing high sensitivity in children and how to support sensitive children and their parents. We discuss the core traits of the Highly Sensitive Person (HSP) trait, Tracy’s great “power strip” analogy for sensory overload, and why the tripping of the power strip (the stress response) can look different in different children (fight, flight, freeze, or shutdown). We talk about challenges that may point to high sensitivity — school behavior problems, breakfast refusal, perfectionism, somatic complaints — and the practical framework Tracy uses with families to sort the “immovables” in their lives from what can actually be changed. We each share our own experience growing up as highly sensitive children, and how we each began our parenting journey largely unaware of this trait. We address the importance of awareness and self-compassion for parents. And, we close with commenting on the value of identifying and addressing pyrrole disorder- a fairly common biochemical imbalance in those with highly sensitive who are struggling with brain and physical symptoms. Timestamps: 0:00 Introduction to high sensitivity and its importance2:04 Recognizing high sensitivity in children and adults3:58 Parental support strategies for sensitive children5:52 Stress response styles and their impact7:56 The physiology of high sensitivity and overstimulation9:59 Creating modifiable environments for thriving12:06 The evolutionary purpose of high sensitivity14:04 Practical tips for supporting sensitive children in school and home15:58 The importance of self-awareness and compassion in parenting18:04 The role of nutrition and physical activity in sensitivity management20:02 Supporting adult highly sensitive persons22:11 The power of community and shared experiences24:04 Overcoming shame and embracing sensitivity as a strength25:59 Practical steps for creating supportive environments28:00 The importance of ongoing learning and adaptation29:53 Closing thoughts and resources for further support Introductions (0:00) Dr. Courtney Snyder Welcome to the Holistic Psychiatry Podcast. I’m Dr. Courtney Snyder, a physician and holistic child and adult psychiatrist. In this episode, I have the pleasure of having a conversation with Tracy Spiaggia, who is an experienced health coach who works with families. Using Elaine Aron’s term of the highly sensitive person, HSP, Tracy and I will discuss high sensitivity in children. This trait, as Tracy will mention, occurs in about 20% of the population. Tracy and I both consider ourselves to be highly sensitive, so in addition to sharing our professional experience, we’ll also share insights from our own childhoods, as well as insights from parenting highly sensitive children. Tracy is currently a candidate for a PhD in what will be Whole Health Leadership. She’s a Functional Nutrition and Lifestyle Practitioner, Certified Integrative Attachment Theory Coach, Brain Health Specialist, National Board Certified Health and Wellness Coach, and the author of the book From “Chained to Changed. Break Mental Strongholds and Transform Your Life Through Faith.” Courtney We have so many intersections in terms of what we care about and are interested in — nutrition, functional medicine, attachment, families. Tracy Why I hang on every word you put out. Courtney Thank you. Thank you. Courtney One of the things that I was thinking about is how much people do to support children that have all these different issues, but there’s not a lot of recognition of high sensitivity in children, nor what their unique needs are. They’re living in a world that’s not designed for high sensitivity. As we talk, we can help raise awareness about what that looks like — how to recognize when a child is highly sensitive, and not in a symptomatic, pathologic frame, but really, that’s who they uniquely are. And then we’ll move into how to help people make choices to support these children so that they can thrive, and also recognize the situations where they’re probably not going to thrive as easily. Tracy Correct. And then how, as a mom and dad, can I modify my expectations on the child and give them a lived experience that best aligns with their sensitive nature — so that they can become who they’re supposed to be, not vicariously living through the child, especially if you’re a non-sensitive parent. Courtney We should talk about both — when the parent is also sensitive, and then when they’re not necessarily, ‘cause there’s different dynamics that would come up. Tracy Yes, yes, yes, absolutely. Especially if the sensitive parent never knew — hello, never knew anything about HSP. And so you’re raising your children, and then when you come to find out, like, your whole brain just explodes in. And then I just kind of really became a completely different parent, almost on a dime, finding this work. And I felt the most free I’ve ever felt in my life when I came across the work. So yeah, we’ll talk about that too. Growing Up Without an Awareness of the HSP Trait(3:21) Courtney I know — I think like you, I look back and there’s things I would have done differently. Now having a daughter who’s twenty-one, certainly learning when I did has helped her, and this information helps her even make her own choices at this point. When I thought about parenting, it also made me think about being a highly sensitive person, and my own experience as a child, because there certainly wasn’t language back in the sixties and seventies. Tracy Here’s a great example. I’m going to make it personal instead of hypothetical. My parents — we came from a household where my dad was a police officer, my mom stayed home, four kids, money was super tight. And so the summer would come, and I now, as a seasoned mother, I can only imagine how she’d be like, almost dreading it — like, “oh my gosh, they’re all here.” So we would have to go to swim team ‘cause it was free from the town. We’d have to go to the town pool. We’d have a choice — we weren’t asked, “you’re going to swim team.” And if my memory serves, it started super early, maybe seven, eight o’clock in the morning. Back then I was just a bag of bones, I was so thin, and that water was freezing. I had no idea why I was so terrified to perform in front of others, but that’s part of the HSP. Like I shared earlier — when I came across this work and all of the questions that were asked to see if you fall on the spectrum of HSP, I’m like, yep, yep, yep, yep, yep. But when it was my turn to compete, I would nine out of ten times not show up on my block. I would hide in the bathroom. I’d even get good at climbing up on top of the toilet with the door closed, so if my mom came in — you know, you can’t see feet. So I would hear my name being called, like, “McMurray, block three,” and I wouldn’t show up the vast majority of the time, because I’d rather the punishment on the back end than have to endure a public display of competing in swim team. So I give that as an example — if a parent were skilled, the first time I don’t show up for my competition, there should be some really safe but powerful questions being asked, like, “hey, what’s going on for you? I noticed you weren’t there, you didn’t show up.” Obviously you’re not doing that to — the parent should be able to say, “obviously you’re not doing that just to irritate me,” but we take it all so personally as exhausted parents. But if they were skilled, they could ask questions, and I’d be able to say to them, “this is really scary for me, I don’t want to do this, I don’t like getting into the pool at seven in the morning, I’m freezing, I’d be blue, I don’t like this, I don’t want to do this.” And then they’d say, “my goodness, okay, you don’t have to do this anymore, you can come and stay home and we can figure out what you enjoy.” I didn’t grow up like that. So that’s an example of a rule I made up to the game of life — if something is bringing you to the brink of sheer terror, just don’t show up for it, go hide somewhere. That’s one example of how I started to cobble together rules of the game of life so that I could survive it. Courtney And that’s so interesting, because in my own early life, I think I cobbled the rule of “you just do it no matter what.” That has its own problems, because you don’t even become aware — you just persist through what’s quite uncomfortable. Whether that’s sporting events, public speaking, which for me was a complete nightmare — anticipating, many months in advance, a book report or something like that. And I think, even looking back, I could say, “I had anxiety as a child.” But when you think about high sensitivity, and you think about the context with which one is trying to navigate — which is highly stressful, chronic, and in some cases severe stress — that doesn’t have to even be anxiety. It could just be a severely, chronically stressful situation, trying to be in a world of extroverts. In my family I was the youngest of four, and I was the only one that was highly sensitive. It’s Not Anxiety. It’s Physiology. (7:53) Tracy As you describe that, I don’t hear an anxious child. I hear a physiology. I hear the brilliant design of the physical body, that your alert system was working perfectly well — trying to say you’re living a life that’s antithetical to who you are, but you’re kind of being forced along for the ride. If there’s a lot of children, those at the tail end just kind of get bolted on, as opposed to being seen — not all the time, but most of the time — because parents are just human beings with finite res