Love How Deep Marriage Podcast

Brian Mayer & Heather Mayer
  • 5.0 (2)
  • Relationships
  • Updated Weekly

Love How Deep is a podcast designed to equip married couples like you with resources that rely on the transformative power of God's Word to strengthen your relationship. The hosts, Brian & Heather Mayer desire is to connect couples more deeply to each other. They do this by offering episode content that can help couples communicate better, resolve conflict, understand each other more, tackle roles and responsbilities, parent in better ways, control their finances more, and increase emotional, mental, physical, and spiritual parts of their lives. Engaging guests from married couples, pastors, therapists, authors, and other experts in the field offer great advice.

  1. Sep 23

    135: Our Summer was Different

    When Summer Looks Different: Finding God's Goodness in an Unexpected Season This week, we are sharing another "Behind the Lives" episode—a relaxed and honest look at what has been happening in our family, marriage, ministry, and business over the past few months. This summer did not look like our typical summer. There was no long vacation or major trip for just the two of us. Instead, the season was filled with work, tutoring, business coaching, hosting family for nearly half of a 40-day period, spending time with friends, creating new Love How Deep resources, preparing speaking presentations, and developing new ways to serve couples. The biggest and sweetest news of the summer was becoming grandparents. We traveled to Ohio over the Fourth of July weekend to meet and hold our new grandson, Noah Michael. That time with him—and the pictures, videos, and updates we continue receiving—became one of the greatest blessings of the entire season. We also enjoyed a mountain getaway with close friends at House Mountain Inn and took the train to Washington, D.C., where we spent hours exploring the Museum of the Bible. These shorter experiences reminded us that meaningful rest and connection do not always require an elaborate vacation. Behind the scenes at Love How Deep, we joined an intensive business coaching program, created new website pages and marriage resources, developed another seminar, prepared new speaking material, and launched the Marriage Strategy Session. Heather also began writing a 13-chapter Bible study filled with Scripture, self-reflection, journaling, personal research, and practical application for both individuals and marriages. As we looked back, we realized that it would be easy to focus on what did not happen and decide the summer was disappointing. But when we named everything God allowed us to experience, the season looked completely different. It was full of family, creativity, ministry, friendship, connection, growth, and gratitude. Different is not automatically bad. A season may not unfold according to your original plan and still be deeply good. A Challenge for You Look back over the past few months and make a list of the things you were blessed to be part of. Consider the people you connected with, the ways you grew, the work you completed, the unexpected joys you experienced, and the places where God met you. Your season may not have looked the way you hoped it would—but when you put it into perspective, you may discover that the good outweighs the perceived bad. In This Episode, We Talk About Hosting family as two introverts—and recognizing the need for recovery time Becoming grandparents and meeting Noah Michael Enjoying meaningful experiences without taking a traditional vacation Visiting House Mountain Inn and the Museum of the Bible Joining a business coaching program and growing Love How Deep Heather's progress on a new 13-chapter Bible study Creating new marriage resources, presentations, and website pages Launching the Marriage Strategy Session Building connections with churches and marriage-ministry organizations Savoring a mountaintop season while remembering that storms are part of life Looking beyond unmet expectations to recognize God's goodness Practicing gratitude by naming the blessings of the past few months Places Mentioned Museum of the Bible — Washington, D.C. https://www.museumofthebible.org/ House Mountain Inn — Lexington, Virginia https://www.housemountaininn.com/ Work With Brian and Heather Invite us to speak at your church We offer Christ-centered keynotes, interactive workshops, half-day intensives, and full marriage conferences designed to strengthen couples and support the needs of your church. https://www.lovehowdeep.com/speaking Reserve a Marriage Strategy Session Complete a trusted marriage assessment, meet privately with both of us for a two-hour video session, and leave with personalized insights and practical next steps for your marriage. https://www.lovehowdeep.com/marriage-strategy-session Visit Love How Deep Find Christian marriage resources, podcast episodes, videos, courses, and updates about Heather's upcoming Bible study: https://www.lovehowdeep.com/

    135: Our Summer was Different

  2. Sep 9

    134: What It Really Takes to Speak as a Couple

    Behind the Scenes: What It Really Takes to Speak as a Couple This week, we are doing something a little different: taking you behind the scenes of a full weekend of speaking, ministry, marriage, and the unexpected moments that happened along the way. We recently traveled to the Staunton and Swoope, Virginia, area to serve Village Church. On Saturday, we led an intimate couples retreat, and on Sunday, we were honored and humbled to be invited to speak during the church service. In this candid conversation, we share what it took to prepare two different presentations—and what we learned once we stepped in front of the audience. Preparation included much more than practicing a talk. We created slide decks, wrote speaker notes, prepared cues for the church's technology team, organized visual exercises, and rehearsed together night after night. At times, the presentation flowed; at other times, we wondered whether we would ever get it right. Sometimes, the most helpful thing we could do was stop, rest, and return with fresh energy. Of course, the weekend did not go perfectly. There was a nearly overflowing bowl during a forgiveness exercise, anointing oil that needed to be distributed at the last minute, a missing laptop charger, skipped notes, forgotten words, and a pair of yellow sunglasses that almost missed their moment. Yet those imperfect moments became reminders that ministry does not require perfection. It requires preparation, flexibility, grace, and dependence on God. We also reflect on what speaking together revealed about our marriage and communication. When one person is talking, it is easy for the other to think ahead to the next point instead of truly listening. We are learning how to stay present, help each other recover when something goes off script, improve our transitions, and balance planned teaching with natural conversation. These are speaking lessons—but they are marriage lessons too. Through it all, the best part of the weekend was the people: meeting couples, talking with church members, answering questions, connecting with the pastors, and sharing lunch and laughter with a wonderful family. We are deeply grateful to Village Church for welcoming us and giving us the opportunity to serve. In This Episode, We Talk About The unseen preparation behind a couples retreat and Sunday message Why nervousness can remind us to rely on God Knowing when to keep practicing—and when to take a break Recovering from forgotten words, skipped notes, and missed cues How facial expressions and body language affect a presentation Listening to your spouse instead of planning what you will say next Learning to banter, transition, and support each other onstage Giving yourself grace while continuing to improve your craft Why relationships with people matter more than a perfect performance Connect With Village Church Learn more about Village Church in Virginia: http://www.villagechurchva.com/ Work With Brian and Heather Invite us to speak at your church We offer Christ-centered keynotes, interactive workshops, half-day intensives, and full marriage conferences designed to strengthen couples while serving the needs of your church. https://www.lovehowdeep.com/speaking Reserve a Marriage Strategy Session Complete a trusted marriage assessment, meet privately with both of us for a two-hour video session, and leave with personalized insights and practical next steps for your marriage. https://www.lovehowdeep.com/marriage-strategy-session Visit Love How Deep Find Christian marriage resources, podcast episodes, videos, courses, and more: https://www.lovehowdeep.com/

    134: What It Really Takes to Speak as a Couple

  3. Aug 26

    133: The 2 Secrets to Making it Through The Mess

    Making It Through the Mess: The Two Directions of Healing What is the biggest mess you have ever faced—and how do you begin to heal from it? In this special episode, recorded at Village Church in Swoope, Virginia, Brian and Heather share personal stories of abuse, divorce, cancer, grief, abandonment, depression, reconciliation, and God's faithfulness through life's most difficult seasons. Their experiences reveal a simple but powerful truth: healing happens in two directions. We heal vertically as we move toward God—surrendering our pain, connecting with Him, and learning to see our circumstances through His lens. We heal horizontally as we move toward trustworthy people—allowing community, empathy, encouragement, and accountability to help carry us through. Your mess may be part of your story, but it does not have to define your future. God can use even the hardest seasons to develop perseverance, restore hope, deepen relationships, and lead you toward purpose. In This Episode Brian and Heather discuss: Why the way we see our mess often determines the way we walk through it How worship, prayer, journaling, and Scripture help us connect with God What it means to exchange our perspective for God's lens Why isolation can prolong our pain Why asking for help is not a sign of weakness How to find trustworthy people who offer both empathy and encouragement The importance of reconciliation and second chances Why healing begins when hiding from God and others ends How the vertical and horizontal beams of the cross remind us to love God and love people Key Takeaways Change your lens. Look for what God may be doing in you, even when He does not immediately change the situation around you. Take an active step toward God through worship, honest prayer, journaling, and Scripture. Do not carry your burden alone. Identify one safe, trustworthy person and invite that person into your story. Look for people who offer both empathy and motivation—someone willing to sit with you in the pain and help you take the next step. Hold on to hope. Hope does not mean the problem has already been solved; it gives you strength to continue toward healing, growth, and purpose. Scriptures Mentioned James 1:2–4 — Trials, perseverance, maturity, and joy Isaiah 43:18–19 — God doing a new thing and making a way in the wilderness Proverbs 15:22 — The importance of counsel and wise advisers Ecclesiastes 4:9–10 — Two are better than one Exodus 18 — Jethro advising Moses to share the burden Matthew 22:37–39 — Loving God and loving our neighbor Questions for Reflection What hurt, struggle, or difficult season are you carrying right now? Are you seeing your circumstances through your own lens or asking God to help you see them through His? What is one practical way you can move toward God this week? Who is one trustworthy person you could invite into your story? Where might God be developing perseverance, hope, or purpose through what you have experienced? Links and Resources Visit Village Church Invite Love How Deep to Speak at Your Location Marriage Strategy Session for Couples Join the Conversation What helped you make it through one of life's messiest seasons? Share your story or one takeaway from this episode in the comments. Your experience may be exactly the encouragement someone else needs. Content note: This episode includes personal discussions of domestic abuse, divorce, cancer, grief, abandonment, depression, and alcohol use as a coping strategy.

    133: The 2 Secrets to Making it Through The Mess

  4. Jul 15

    132: Present vs. Distracted: Which One Are You?

    Becoming More Mentally Present Through Mindfulness and Neurofeedback The speaker discusses how difficult it is to stay fully mentally present and describes becoming more grounded on a four-mile run by turning off podcasts and music and intentionally engaging the senses—observing trees and a butterfly, feeling wind, noticing smells, touch, and taste. They then share a personal experiment with neurofeedback through Mind Lift (M-Y-N-D-L-I-F-T), clarifying they are not compensated, and explain the headband-and-electrode training that uses audio/visual feedback (a crackling fire) to encourage desired brainwave patterns. They report struggling with anxiety and an overactive alpha wave, compare rumination to "50 people in the shower," and note possible early benefits after a couple weeks, including less chest tightness and feeling more present and less drained at a social event. As a therapist, they emphasize the value of presence and plan to continue neurofeedback for 3–6 months with coaching and updates at lovehowdeep.com. 00:00 Why We Zone Out 00:46 Grounding Through Senses 02:41 Neurofeedback Discovery 03:08 How Mind Lift Works 03:57 Anxiety and Alpha Waves 05:05 Early Results and Social Ease 06:49 Try It and Stay Present 07:35 Therapist Perspective on Focus 08:29 Choosing a Simple Setup 09:05 Updates

    132: Present vs. Distracted: Which One Are You?

  5. Jul 1

    131: This Isaiah 43 Verse Will Shift Your Perspective

    Isaiah 43:18–19: Letting Go of the Past and Trusting God's New Thing   Heather from "Love, how Deep" shares her favorite Bible passage, Isaiah 43:18–19, and breaks it down phrase by phrase.   She explains that "forget the former things" doesn't mean erasing memories, but choosing to give past hurts, mistakes, and even good things to God so He can heal and move you into a new chapter. She emphasizes trusting that God is "doing a new thing" in His timing, which may feel slow, and compares spiritual growth to pruning plants so new life can flourish. Using the Israelites' wilderness journey, she reminds listeners that God is present even when they feel lost, and that He provides "streams in the wasteland" through the Holy Spirit's refreshment and renewal. Her takeaway: give your past to God, look to Him for your future, and follow His path.   00:00 Favorite Verse Intro 00:16 Isaiah 43 Read Aloud 00:35 Forget the Past 01:10 Surrender and Healing 01:24 Letting Go of Good 01:55 Gods New Thing 02:27 Pruning and Patience 03:28 Wilderness Trust 04:49 Streams in Wasteland 05:25 Final Challenge

    131: This Isaiah 43 Verse Will Shift Your Perspective

  6. Jun 17

    130: Jesus Never Meant for You to Feel This Alone

    Why Jesus Was Alone: Prayer, Rest, and Preparation Heather from Love How Deep reflects on how being alone can feel recharging or lonely, then explores times Jesus was alone in the Bible and what it meant. She cites Matthew 4:1–2, where Jesus is led into the desert to fast for 40 days, face temptation, and prepare for ministry, modeling resistance through God's Word. In Luke 6:12–13, Jesus spends the night alone praying before choosing the twelve apostles. In Mark 1:35, after healing many and driving out spirits, Jesus rises early to pray in solitude before continuing to preach and cast out demons. In Mark 14:32–36 at Gethsemane, Jesus prays in deep distress, asking for the cup to pass yet submitting to God's will. Heather challenges viewers to make prayer their first response when feeling alone, seeking rest, renewal, and strength. 00:00 Alone or Lonely 00:25 Why Jesus Was Alone 01:07 Desert Temptation Prep 02:18 All Night Prayer Wisdom 03:17 Solitary Morning Reset 04:51 Gethsemane Surrender Prayer 06:14 Applying It To Us

    130: Jesus Never Meant for You to Feel This Alone

  7. Jun 3

    129: Do You Have the Fruit of the Spirit?

    Living by the Spirit: The Fruit of the Spirit as a Marriage Roadmap Heather from Love. How Deep. asks what it means to "live by the Spirit," referencing Galatians 5:16 and the fruit of the Spirit in 5:22, describing it as one fruit with nine "segments" that reveal spiritual health and godly character. She applies each segment—love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, and self-control—especially to marriage, emphasizing consistent, Christ-like love; joy and peace during hardship through prayer and putting God first; patience without nagging; everyday acts of kindness and sacrificial goodness; faithfulness supported by practical guardrails; gentle, humble communication that builds a spouse up; and self-control over emotions, desires, actions, and thoughts. She concludes that proper priorities—God first, then spouse, then children—bring alignment and growth, and challenges listeners to pursue these traits through prayer and Scripture. 00:00 Live by the Spirit 00:08 Fruit of the Spirit 01:56 Love in Action 02:47 Joy Beyond Happiness 04:34 Peace at Home 06:04 Patience with Spouse 07:47 Kindness and Goodness 09:16 Faithfulness Guardrails 11:08 Gentleness in Conflict 12:30 Self-Control and Growth 13:29 Priorities and Challenge

    129: Do You Have the Fruit of the Spirit?

  8. May 20

    128: Moving Forward Part 2 - Finding Hope After Abuse and Divorce

    In the conclusion of her two-part testimony, Heather goes deeper into the "aftermath" of a destructive marriage. This isn't just a story of surviving abuse; it's a masterclass in how God "recycles" our deepest pains into our greatest purposes. Heather discusses the struggle of letting down "The Mask," the fear of trusting again, and the divine orchestration that led to her marriage with Brian. If you feel like your past has permanently stained your future, this episode is your reminder that nothing is wasted. Key Takeaways: The Lingering Shadow: Why physical safety is only the first step, and the "internal" work of healing takes much longer. The Decision Fatigue: How the trauma of the past makes deciding on the future (and a new relationship) feel paralyzing. Breaking the "Play Church" Cycle: Moving from performing for God to resting at His feet. Recycled Grace: A reflection on Jesus Calling and the truth that your mistakes and sins can be transformed into something good. Resources Mentioned: Moving Forward - Part 1 Devotional: Jesus Calling by Sarah Young. Connect with Love How Deep: Website: www.lovehowdeep.com Facebook:  www.facebook.com/@lovehowdeep

    128: Moving Forward Part 2 - Finding Hope After Abuse and Divorce
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Ratings & Reviews

5
out of 5
2 Ratings

About

Love How Deep is a podcast designed to equip married couples like you with resources that rely on the transformative power of God's Word to strengthen your relationship. The hosts, Brian & Heather Mayer desire is to connect couples more deeply to each other. They do this by offering episode content that can help couples communicate better, resolve conflict, understand each other more, tackle roles and responsbilities, parent in better ways, control their finances more, and increase emotional, mental, physical, and spiritual parts of their lives. Engaging guests from married couples, pastors, therapists, authors, and other experts in the field offer great advice.

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