Start Your Comeback: Rebuilding after Divorce, Empty Nest, and Loss of Spouse

Toni Thrash
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I'm Toni and a certified Life Coach. Is there a major life transition benching you? Let’s create a winning game plan to move into your new adventure. Your life only seems to be over, however, there’s still time on the clock. Let’s get you off the bench to start your comeback.

  1. 1D AGO

    Rebuilding After Divorce

    I would love to hear from you! Send a text! Feeling stuck between “what now” and “who am I” after divorce can feel like standing on a field with the clock ticking and no play to run. We break the moment down and build it back up with intention, so you can stop surviving, start breathing, and move forward with purpose. We start by reframing the rebuild: it doesn’t begin with a five-year plan, it begins when you can breathe again. Toni shares the core mindset shift that changes everything—subtract before you add. You’ll learn how to release patterns that drain you, set boundaries that hold, and let go of roles that no longer fit. From there, we get practical about core needs: safety, stability, respect, and grounded routines. We walk through simple, real-world adjustments like neutral co-parenting boundaries, a minimum-viable budget, and a weekly planning rhythm that protects your energy. Then we zoom into small, compounding wins. Big goals look glamorous, but consistency beats intensity, especially when your nervous system is healing. We outline how to choose one habit and one relationship to tend for 30 days—think nightly walks, two healthy lunches, a calm check-in with your kids, or streamlined co-parenting communication. Identity comes next, rebuilt slowly through low-stakes experiments. Try old interests on for size, notice what fits, and let experience—not pressure—define who you’re becoming. Support stays non-negotiable. Therapy, coaching, and trusted peers keep you honest and moving, even when momentum wobbles. If you have kids, your rebuild becomes a living model for resilience and healthy boundaries. You’re not starting from zero—you’re starting from wisdom. Stability gives you ground; intention shows you where to go next. Ready to trade survival for progress? Grab the Start Your Come Back Workbook at ToniThrash.com, and book a clarity call to get off the bench and into the life you want. If this helped, follow, share with a friend, and leave a quick review so more people can start their comeback. Let's create your transition gameplan: Book your discovery call You can find me at: Website Instagram Facebook Shock Limbo Re-Entry Sound of You

    9 min

  2. JAN 29

    Part 2 Dr. Lana Sneer: From Fear To Hope: A Practical Guide To Healing Through Divorce With Faith And Counseling

    I would love to hear from you! Send a text! Fear has a way of dressing up like anger, urgency, and endless what-ifs—especially when a marriage ends. We sat down with Dr. Lana Sneer, a licensed professional counselor, to unpack how to face the grief of divorce without letting it name your whole story. The throughline is simple but demanding: sit with fear long enough to hear what it’s saying, then move with intention toward hope, help, and a new vision. We talk about how fear crowds out healing, and why stillness is a first step, not a setback. Dr. Sneer shares how faith can become a practical anchor—more than a mantra—when “do not be afraid” meets real life. We explore the loneliness that follows separation, the quiet loss of identity that can happen in a marriage, and the slow, steady work of remembering who you are. Expect candid examples, compassionate reframes, and tools you can use today to rebuild confidence and direction. You’ll also hear a clear roadmap for finding the right counselor: what divorce experience looks like in practice, how to assess fit with a three-session approach, and why Christian counseling doesn’t mean judgment—it means another layer of support when you need it most. We close with resources for adults and kids, and a powerful reminder to refuse shame: never let one chapter become the title of your life. If you’re craving practical steps, honest hope, and faith-infused guidance, this conversation meets you where you are and points you forward. If this episode helps, share it with a friend who needs strength today. Subscribe, leave a quick review, and tell us: what small step are you taking this week? Growing Through Divorce by Jim Smoke Helping Children Survive Divorce by Dr. Archibald Hart Let's create your transition gameplan: Book your discovery call You can find me at: Website Instagram Facebook Shock Limbo Re-Entry Sound of You

    27 min

  3. JAN 22

    Special guest, Dr. Lana Sneer: Set The Bone: Align Your Heart Before You Move On

    I would love to hear from you! Send a text! Divorce can yank the ground from under you and convince you that the only options are to fight harder or run faster. We take a different route with Dr. Lana Sneer, a licensed psychologist and school specialist with 35 years of experience, who shows why the first step is alignment, not action. Think of it like setting a broken bone: counseling doesn’t instantly heal the fracture, but it aligns the pieces so real healing can begin and future movement is strong and straight. We start by reframing crisis as trauma that deserves care. Instead of sprinting to lawyers and logistics, we talk about stabilizing your inner world so your choices come from clarity, not adrenaline. Dr. Sneer breaks down the traps of fight and flight—relentless conflict that burns you out, or sudden life overhauls that promise relief but create new problems—and maps the third path: healing. That means sitting with hard feelings, naming grief, and building a support plan that includes therapy, faith practices for those who lean on them, and a reliable community. Parents will find a crucial guide to protecting children in the fallout. Kids are resilient, but they are also loyal and vulnerable. We explain why “they seem fine” can be a mask, how family breakdown can silently swap a child’s identity for roles like ally, messenger, or peacemaker, and what to do instead. You’ll learn how to safeguard their original roles, encourage healthy connections with both parents, and use age-appropriate counseling to give them language and safety. We also explore the long-term risks of leaving pain unset, how unexamined coping becomes a template, and the practical routines that reduce anxiety during transitions. If you’re asking what’s next or wondering how to hold it together for yourself and your kids, this conversation offers a clear, compassionate starting point. Subscribe, share this episode with someone who needs it, and leave a review to help more families find steady ground. Let's create your transition gameplan: Book your discovery call You can find me at: Website Instagram Facebook Shock Limbo Re-Entry Sound of You

    23 min

  4. JAN 15

    Boring Is Good: Why Haircut Budgets And Dog Food Lists Might Save Your Sanity

    I would love to hear from you! Send a text! What if the smartest move after divorce isn’t to reinvent everything, but to slow down and stabilize? We take you inside the quiet work that makes a comeback possible: calming your nervous system, reducing chaos, and rebuilding simple routines that help you survive the early months without burning out. No hype, no rushing—just clear steps to get your feet back under you and protect your energy while life resets. We start by getting honest about emotions that refuse to disappear: grief, relief, anger, fear, loneliness, and shame. Naming them is the first lever that lowers anxiety. From there, we walk through one daily grounding practice—walks, prayer, journaling, or breathing—that signals safety to your body so your mind can think. You’ll hear a personal story about letting others help, and why dropping pride is not weakness; it’s oxygen. With that support, stabilization happens faster. Then we get practical. Money clarity reduces fear, so we detail how to build a budget that mirrors real life—haircuts, pet food, co-pays, kids’ activities, and all the “small” costs that add up. We talk about simplifying aggressively to cut decision fatigue, finding a small daily rhythm you can protect, and creating predictable routines that make kids feel safe. Boring is good when your world tilts; repetition calms the body and steadies the day. We close by framing stabilization as foundation work: the base for the life you want next, even if chaos still pops up. If this helped, follow the show, share it with a friend who needs steadiness, and leave a quick review so more people can find it. Have a question or want to connect? DM ToniThrash on Instagram—let’s start your comeback together. Let's create your transition gameplan: Book your discovery call You can find me at: Website Instagram Facebook Shock Limbo Re-Entry Sound of You

    11 min

  5. JAN 8

    National Divorce Month Sounds Festive Until It Isn’t

    I would love to hear from you! Send a text! The calendar flips and the pressure spikes: fresh starts, big vows, and a quiet surge of people filing for divorce. We open the year by naming the truth behind “National Divorce Month” and offering a grounded path forward that resists urgency and centers clarity. Instead of racing to fix everything, we walk through eight practical steps that lower the emotional temperature, protect your kids, and help you make decisions you can live with tomorrow. First, we unpack why January creates urgency and how slowing your pace saves money, energy, and relationships. Then we draw a hard line between noise and support, outlining what real help looks like—trauma‑informed counseling, structured recovery groups, and neutral professionals who won’t take sides. For parents, we spotlight concrete ways to protect children: stop using them as sounding boards, keep routines steady, and give them a safe place to talk that isn’t you. We also share a simple exercise to separate feelings from facts so legal and financial choices don’t get driven by panic. From there, we get specific about non‑negotiables and boundaries that keep you safe while you rebuild. We tackle isolation and offer a two‑sentence “elevator update” so you can stay visible without oversharing. Finally, we reset expectations about pace: healing takes time, and the real power lives in the next right step—booking one appointment, organizing one document, or having one supported conversation. January doesn’t define your future; it marks your turning point. If this conversation helps, share it with someone who needs steady ground today. Subscribe, leave a review, and DM Toni on Instagram @ToniThrash with your next right step—you might inspire the next listener. Let's create your transition gameplan: Book your discovery call You can find me at: Website Instagram Facebook Shock Limbo Re-Entry Sound of You

    13 min

  6. 12/18/2025

    Sugar, Schedules, And Meltdowns: Surviving Holiday Mayhem Without Losing Your Mind

    I would love to hear from you! Send a text! Holiday peace isn’t about getting every plan right. It’s about repairing well when plans break. We lean into a simple, steady framework—calm, clarity, and compassion—to guide tense moments, last‑minute schedule changes, and the emotional load kids carry moving between homes. You’ll hear scripts that lower the temperature fast, from “here’s what’s happening, here’s what we can do” to “I’m sorry—let’s reset,” so you can lead your home with confidence instead of control. We also unpack the invisible weight blended family kids often carry: missing the other parent, loyalty conflicts, clashing traditions, and exhaustion from transitions. Rather than treating meltdowns as disrespect, we reframe them as overload and respond with safety. Then we get practical with five guardrails that protect your peace: stop negotiating by text when emotions run high, cut comparison conversations, protect your home’s rhythm, add decompression time after transitions, and avoid overcommitment because a full calendar isn’t a full heart. For the moments that still run hot, we introduce the two‑minute holiday timeout—a simple, shared rule set that stops escalation and teaches emotional regulation. We close with reflection prompts you can journal or pray through to set better boundaries and practice repair quickly. Blended families aren’t fragile; they’re resilient and brave. If your holiday doesn’t look picture perfect, it’s still real, and real is where love grows. Share this with a blended family who needs hope, subscribe for more practical tools, and leave a review to help others find the show. Websites • Smart Stepfamilies (Ron Deal) The gold standard for blended family research, articles, and courses. • FamilyLife Blended® Articles, events, and a massive library of helpful episodes. • CoParenting.com Great for communication strategies and holiday scheduling.  Books • The Smart Stepfamily — Ron L. Deal THE book. Clear, wise, practical. • Blended & Redeemed — Scott & Vanessa Martindale Faith-based and highly relatable. • Building Love Together in Blended Families — Gary Chapman & Ron Deal Uses the 5 Love Languages to strengthen connection. • The Smart Stepmom / Stepdad — Ron Deal & Laura Petherbridge Strong support for navigating identity and expectations. Podcasts • Let's create your transition gameplan: Book your discovery call You can find me at: Website Instagram Facebook Shock Limbo Re-Entry Sound of You

    12 min

  7. 12/11/2025

    Reclaiming Holiday Joy In Blended Families

    I would love to hear from you! Send a text! Perfection is a myth, and chasing it steals the best parts of the holidays. We dive into the real work of building connection in a blended family season, offering practical strategies to calm the chaos, honor meaningful rituals, and create a tradition that’s truly yours. Instead of trying to recreate the past or outshine the other home, we focus on a simple, repeatable anchor that kids can count on—because consistency, not spectacle, is what turns a house into home. We unpack why blending families means blending histories, rhythms, and expectations—and how that can spark friction when “we always” meets “we never.” You’ll learn how to honor legacy traditions without letting them run the show, how to explain changes with kindness, and how to design one new tradition that fits your current reality. We also talk about ending the comparison trap—bigger gifts, brighter lights, later nights—and choosing an emotional climate of warmth and safety over performance. Kids remember how it felt: who listened, who was patient, who showed up. Stepparents, your role matters. Your fresh eyes and steady presence add creativity, support, and stability when the season gets loud. We share a family-tested method for shared ownership—everyone picks one tradition with no vetoes or snark—which builds respect and unity fast. Along the way, we offer reflection prompts to let go of comparison and rethink rigid rituals, so your holidays can be meaningful, not manic. If this resonated, follow the show, share it with a friend who needs a calmer holiday, and leave a quick rating or review to help more blended families find these tools. DM Toni on Instagram @ToniThrash with your one new tradition—we’d love to hear what you’re building. Let's create your transition gameplan: Book your discovery call You can find me at: Website Instagram Facebook Shock Limbo Re-Entry Sound of You

    13 min

  8. 12/04/2025

    Who Moved The Elf And Why Did It Start World War III

    I would love to hear from you! Send a text! The holidays aren’t broken; they’re just loud. Between loyalty binds, old traditions, and schedules that feel like a playbook, blended families can hit December at a sprint and wonder why small sparks turn into big fires. We open the door on that pressure and lay out a simple plan to lower the heat without losing the heart of the season. We start by naming what’s real: kids carry competing loyalties, parents bring history, stepparents want to belong, and logistics multiply. Pressure isn’t proof you’re failing; it’s feedback pointing to what needs attention. From there, we move into practical tools. You’ll learn how to replace assumptions with agreements, using clear, early communication that prevents preventable pain. We introduce the five‑minute “holiday huddle” where everyone shares one excitement, one worry, and one tradition that matters, so you can locate the real hotspots before they flare. Tone setting becomes your superpower. We draw a bright line between reacting and responding, offering steady scripts you can use when a tense text lands at 10 p.m. We cover why a phone call can cool things down, how to avoid forecasting doom, and how to choose one new tradition—just one—to anchor connection without overwhelming the system. You’ll also get a checklist of what you can’t control (the other house, the past, loyalty binds) and what you can (the tone in your home, the pace you set, the memories you build on your watch). We close with five reflection questions to guide your plan: the stories each person brings, the assumptions you’ve made, where pressure sits, the triggers to prep for, and the communication that will make everything smoother. Messy means human, not hopeless. If you’re ready to trade holiday chaos for clarity, hit play, take a breath, and lead your family with calm courage. If this helped, subscribe, share with a co‑parent or stepparent who needs it, and leave a review to spread the word. Let's create your transition gameplan: Book your discovery call You can find me at: Website Instagram Facebook Shock Limbo Re-Entry Sound of You

    15 min
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About

I'm Toni and a certified Life Coach. Is there a major life transition benching you? Let’s create a winning game plan to move into your new adventure. Your life only seems to be over, however, there’s still time on the clock. Let’s get you off the bench to start your comeback.

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