Start Your Comeback: Rebuilding after Divorce, Empty Nest, and Loss of Spouse

Toni Thrash
  • 5.0 (10)
  • Self-Improvement
  • Updated Weekly

I'm Toni and a certified Life Coach. Is there a major life transition benching you? Let’s create a winning game plan to move into your new adventure. Your life only seems to be over, however, there’s still time on the clock. Let’s get you off the bench to start your comeback.

  1. 15h ago

    Your First Play: Re-Entering Your Life Before You Feel Ready

    Your First Play: Re-Entering Your Life Before You Feel ReadyYou survived Shock. You worked your way through Limbo. Now comes the part that can feel surprisingly uncomfortable: living again. In this week's episode of Start Your Comeback, Toni begins the five-week ReEntry series with a personal look at what her own ReEntry actually looked like after divorce and becoming an empty nester. It wasn't the day the divorce became final. It began in a nearly empty apartment filled with hand-me-down furniture and one unexpected realization: She wanted to be lighter. Toni shares what happened when freedom finally arrived, but she wasn't quite sure what to do with it, why staying constantly busy became a way to avoid loneliness, and how she slowly began discovering who she was outside the life she'd known for 25 years. You'll hear: Why Reentry is different from simply surviving a transitionHow busyness can sometimes disguise lonelinessWhy freedom can initially feel uncomfortableWhat it means to start participating in your life againWhy readiness does not mean fearlessnessHow to choose one small action instead of trying to reinvent your whole lifeWhy your first play matters more than having the entire game plan This Week's Challenge Ask yourself: What is one thing I know I'm ready to try even if I have to do it afraid? Then take the play. Friday's Game Plan Companion Paid subscribers to The Limbo Letters will receive this week's Game Plan Companion, Your First Play. You'll identify where you're ready to move, what might get in your way, and the specific action you're going to take this week. Stay Connected Read The Limbo Letters on Substack and subscribe so you don't miss the rest of the ReEntry series. And remember: You don't have to be fearless to take the next play. There is still time left on the clock. Let's create your transition gameplan: Book your discovery call You can find me at: Book: Start Your Comeback Workbook: The Game Plan Website Instagram Facebook Shock Limbo Re-Entry ...

  2. Sep 24

    Don’t You Dare Quit Now: A Pause Before ReEntry

    Before we move from Limbo into ReEntry, we are calling a timeout. In this episode, Toni walks you through a simple three-part reset: Reflect. Resource. Regroup. You’ll take a look at how far you’ve come, identify the people and tools in your Comeback Toolbox, and make space to rest without confusing tired with finished. Because you did not come this far just to quit here. In this episode: Why quiet progress still countsHow to recognize how much has changed in youWho and what belongs in your Comeback ToolboxThe importance of safe people, healthy practices, boundaries, and truthWhat God may be teaching you in seasons without a clear mapWhy rest is not the same thing as quittingThree questions to prepare you for ReEntry Your ReEntry Inventory Finish these three statements: I am leaving behind… I am taking with me… I am ready to explore… Friday’s Companion Paid Substack subscribers will receive the ReEntry Readiness Guide, a practical companion designed to help you reflect, identify your resources, regroup, and prepare for what comes next. Resources Grab your free Comeback Starter Guide at Toni’s website. If you are ready for personal support in your transition, schedule a free 30-minute coaching call through the link in the show notes. Remember: You are tired. You are not finished. Let's create your transition gameplan: Book your discovery call You can find me at: Book: Start Your Comeback Workbook: The Game Plan Website Instagram Facebook Shock Limbo Re-Entry ...

  3. Sep 17

    The Next Right Step

    What if the next step in your comeback feels less like a confident stride and more like stepping onto a tightrope? In this final episode of the five-week Limbo series, Toni talks about courage, fear, movement, and what it really means to take the next right step. You do not need the whole plan. You do not need to feel fearless. And you do not need to know exactly where the second, fifth, or tenth step will lead. You simply need enough courage for the step in front of you. In This Episode Toni talks about: Why Limbo can feel like walking a tightropeWhy courage does not require fear to disappearHow small steps create real momentumWhy the next right step may be quieter than you expectHow fear can keep us waiting for certainty that may never comeWhy Ruth’s “as it happened” moment is such a powerful picture of movementHow reflection can eventually turn into avoidanceWhy Limbo was never meant to become your permanent addressHow the next right step becomes the bridge into Reentry The Big Takeaway Let fear be the losing opponent today. Then move. Not sure where to begin? Sign up for Toni’s newsletter and receive the free Your Comeback Starter Guide to help you start identifying your next steps. Get Your Free Comeback Starter Guide Ready for Coaching? If you are in Limbo, Reentry, or another major life transition and need help figuring out what your next play looks like, Toni offers coaching designed to help you sort through the noise, identify what is within your control, and move forward with greater clarity. The link is below. Go Deeper Toni’s book, Start Your Comeback, and the companion workbook, Start Your Comeback Game Plan, were created to help you work through transition one step at a time. You do not need the entire game plan. You need the next play. Your comeback is waiting on the other side of movement. Let's create your transition gameplan: Book your discovery call You can find me at: Book: Start Your Comeback Workbook: The Game Plan Website Instagram Facebook Shock Limbo Re-Entry ...

  4. Sep 10

    Coaching Through Limbo: Sometimes You Just Need the Right Timeout

    When you are standing in the middle of a major life transition, it can be hard to see what is really happening. You are managing the emotions, the fear, the decisions, the finances, the family dynamics, and everything else life is throwing at you. Sometimes you are simply too close to the game to see the whole court. In this episode of Start Your Comeback, Toni shares the story of a basketball game in 1993 when one timeout and one adjustment changed the momentum of the entire game. That story became a powerful picture of what coaching through Limbo can look like. You may not need 50 changes. You may not need to blow up your entire life. You may simply need someone on the sideline who can help you see what you cannot see yet. In This Episode Toni talks about: Why it is hard to see clearly when you are in the middle of a transitionThe difference between coaching and simply giving adviceWhy good coaches ask questions instead of handing out answersHow fear can disguise itself as confusionWhy friends are valuable but are not always coachesHow coaching can help separate facts from fearWhy accountability sometimes matters more than reassuranceHow one small adjustment can change the momentum of your comebackWhy coaching is not meant to create long-term dependencyHow to identify the next play without having the entire game plan If you are in Limbo and tired of circling the same questions, second-guessing every decision, or trying to figure out your next season alone, this is exactly the kind of work Toni does with her coaching clients. Coaching can help you: identify what is actually keeping you stuckseparate facts from fearrecognize patterns you may not be able to see yourselfdetermine what is within your controlmake decisions with greater clarityidentify your next stepIf that sounds like where you are right now, come sit with me. If you are not ready for one-on-one coaching but want help working through your transition, Toni’s book, Start Your Comeback, and the companion workbook, Start Your Comeback Game Plan, were created to help you begin building your own comeback one step at a time. Meet Toni on September 19 Toni will be at Storied Provisions on Saturday, September 19, from 12–2 PM for an author greet-and-sign event. Bring your copy to be signed, come say hello, or pick up the book and workbook while you are there. Sometimes you just need the right timeout. Let's create your transition gameplan: Book your discovery call You can find me at: Book: Start Your Comeback Workbook: The Game Plan Website Instagram Facebook Shock Limbo Re-Entry ...

  5. Sep 3

    Decision Training: How to Trust Yourself Again When You Don’t Know What Comes Next

    Making decisions after a major life transition can feel completely different than it used to. Suddenly, every choice feels bigger. You second-guess yourself, ask everyone else what they think, and sometimes avoid making a decision altogether because you're afraid of getting it wrong. In this episode of Start Your Comeback, Toni talks about why rebuilding confidence requires Decision Training—learning to make small decisions first, seek wise counsel without giving away your authority, and trust yourself to handle the outcome. In this episode: Why not making a decision is still a decisionToni's “Board of Directors” and the importance of wise counselThe difference between asking for perspective and asking someone else to decide for youWhy small decisions help rebuild confidenceHow to recognize when uncertainty is making you rushWhy your emotional capacity matters when making bigger choicesHow thinking through the worst-case scenario can actually reduce fearWhy a disappointing outcome does not automatically mean you made a bad decisionThe Decision Training Framework The Urgency Check: Does this decision actually need to be made today, or am I rushing it just to escape the discomfort of uncertainty? The Capacity Gauge: On a scale of 1 to 10, how much emotional bandwidth do I have right now? If it is below a 5, can I give myself permission to push this decision to next week? The Safety Net: What is the worst-case scenario if this decision doesn’t go the way I hope, and do I have the resilience, support, and resources to handle it? Remember: You are not trying to become someone who never makes the wrong decision. You are becoming someone who trusts herself to make the wisest decision she can, and knows she can handle what comes next. Read this week's Limbo Letters on Substack, and paid subscribers can grab Friday's Decision Training Game Plan Companion to work through one real decision using the framework from today's episode. If you're facing a bigger transition and need help sorting through the noise, Toni also offers one-on-one coaching. You don't need the whole plan. You need the next play. Let's create your transition gameplan: Book your discovery call You can find me at: Book: Start Your Comeback Workbook: The Game Plan Website Instagram Facebook Shock Limbo Re-Entry ...

  6. Aug 27

    Finding Your New Rhythm in Limbo

    When life changes, your old routine often stops working long before you know what the new one should look like. In this episode of Start Your Comeback, Toni talks about what happens when the shock begins to wear off and you find yourself with more unstructured time, more quiet, and a whole lot of questions about what comes next. Limbo can tempt you in two directions: shutting down or filling every waking moment with busyness. Toni shares how she did the latter—working, volunteering, mentoring, and staying constantly occupied until exhaustion finally caught up with her. Eventually, Limbo forces you to face an important question: What kind of rhythm actually fits the life you are living now? In this episode, you’ll hear about: Why your old routines may no longer work in a new seasonThe difference between connection and distractionWhy busyness can sometimes be a way of avoiding the quietHow to learn the difference between being alone and being lonelyWhy your values should begin showing up in your calendarHow trial and error helps you create a healthier rhythmThe three R’s for navigating Limbo: Reset, Reflect, and RefocusToni also offers this important reminder: Don’t allow fear to keep you holding onto something simply because it is familiar when you already know it no longer works for you. Familiar does not always mean healthy, helpful, or right for this season. And your new rhythm doesn’t have to look impressive. It needs to sustain you. Go Deeper Read this week’s article in The Limbo Letters on Substack, Finding Your New Rhythm in Limbo. Paid subscribers can also download Friday’s Game Plan Companion, where you’ll work through Reset, Reflect, and Refocus and begin creating a rhythm that fits the person you are becoming. Upcoming Book Signing Toni will be in Flower Mound on September 19 from 12–2 p.m. signing copies of Start Your Comeback and sharing the Start Your Comeback Game Plan workbook. If you are walking through Shock, Limbo, or Reentry, these resources were created to help you move forward with practical tools and a clear game plan. More details are coming soon. Connect With Toni Read: The Limbo Letters on Substack Listen: Start Your Comeback podcast Book + Workbook: Start Your Comeback and the Start Your Comeback Game Plan Coaching: If you are in a transition and need help figuring out your next step, come sit with me. Remember: You do not have to know exactly where the path is leading. You just have to keep taking the next step. That’s how you start your comeback. Let's create your transition gameplan: Book your discovery call You can find me at: Book: Start Your Comeback Workbook: The Game Plan Website Instagram Facebook Shock Limbo Re-Entry ...

  7. Aug 20

    Limbo Is Not Failure; It's Your Training Ground

    The shock may have worn off, but that does not mean the new life has arrived. That uncomfortable space in between is what I call Limbo. In this episode of Start Your Comeback, I’m talking about why Limbo can feel like a prison sentence and why it may actually be the training ground where some of your most important growth happens. Whether you are walking through divorce, empty nesting, retirement, grief, job loss, or another major life transition, the middle can feel frustratingly slow. You may be doing everything you know to do and still feel like nothing is changing. But survival is not failure. Sometimes getting out of bed is the step. Sometimes making the appointment is progress. Sometimes paying one bill, setting one boundary, or making one healthy decision is the entire game plan for the day. In this episode, we talk about: Why Limbo has no predictable timelineThe difference between self-reflection and self-condemnationWhy shame can keep you stuck long after the circumstances begin to changeHow small wins become evidence of progressWhy you need wise, steady people around you during transitionHow to stop comparing your timeline to someone else’sWhy Limbo may be preparing you for what comes nextHow to focus on the next step instead of demanding the entire planOne of the biggest lessons I learned in my own Limbo season was this: You do not need to see the whole path to begin moving. The work you are doing in the middle may not be visible yet, but that does not mean nothing is happening. You are learning. You are releasing. You are rebuilding. You are becoming. And eventually, those small steps begin forming a path. This Week’s Game Plan Companion Available Friday, August 21. Paid subscribers to The Limbo Letters on Substack will receive this week’s Game Plan Companion: The Limbo Training Ground. It will help you identify: What has changedWhat is still unresolvedWhat thoughts may be keeping you stuckWhat you are learning, releasing, rebuilding, and becomingOne small win you may be overlookingYour next play for the weekNeed Help Building Your Comeback? If you are in the middle of a major life transition and need help figuring out your next step, this is the work I do with my coaching clients. We sort through the noise, identify what is true, determine what you can control, and begin building a game plan that actually fits your life. You can also go deeper with my book, Start Your Comeback, and the companion workbook, Start Your Comeback Game Plan. You do not need the whole plan today. You need the next play. Limbo is not failure. It is your training ground. Don’t wish it away. Let's create your transition gameplan: Book your discovery call You can find me at: Book: Start Your Comeback Workbook: The Game Plan Website Instagram Facebook Shock Limbo Re-Entry ...

  8. Aug 13

    You Raised Them to Leave with Brenda Seefeldt

    Dropping your child off at college isn't only a transition for them. It's a transition for you. In this final episode of the Shock portion of our empty nesting series, I'm joined by pastor, author, speaker, and longtime youth pastor Brenda Seefeldt, who has worked with teenagers and young adults since 1981. Brenda and I talk about what young adults are really experiencing as they leave home, why parents may be unintentionally preventing their kids from developing resilience, and why failure might be one of the greatest teachers we allow our children to have. We also talk about the natural separation that happens between young adults and their parents, the importance of trusted adults outside the family, how faith becomes personal during the college years, and why constantly rescuing our kids can make adulthood harder instead of easier. In this episode, we talk about: Why today's young adults may feel less prepared for independenceThe difference between protecting children from danger and protecting them from discomfortWhy middle school and high school are safe places to learn how to failHow failure develops resilience, grit, coping skills, and confidenceWhy ages 18–25 are naturally years of separation and identity formationHow a young adult's faith begins becoming their ownWhy your teenager needs trusted adults besides Mom and DadHow too much communication can make the college transition harderWhy parents must resist the instinct to rescueThe emotional growth happening in the parent after the child leavesWhy prayer becomes such an important part of letting goThe truth I want you to remember: Failure is survivable. Failure may change the plan, but it does not eliminate God's ability to redeem the story. Your child cannot fail so badly that they move beyond God's heart toward them. And neither can you. Connect with Brenda Seefeldt Brenda Seefeldt is an ordained pastor, speaker, author, longtime youth pastor, and lead pastor of Larger Story Church. Find more from Brenda at Bravester.com. Her books include: I Wish I Could Take Away Your PainTrust Issues with God Story of Two Lost SonsWhat's Coming Next This episode closes our Shock series. Next week we're stepping into Limbo—that strange middle space between what was and whatever comes next. Read along with the series on Substack and join me each Thursday on the Start Your Comeback podcast. And if you're walking through a transition of your own, grab a copy of Start Your Comeback and the Start Your Comeback Game Plan workbook. Links below. Your next chapter doesn't begin when everything makes sense. Sometimes it begins when you decide to take the next step anyway. Let's create your transition gameplan: Book your discovery call You can find me at: Book: Start Your Comeback Workbook: The Game Plan Website Instagram Facebook Shock Limbo Re-Entry ...

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I'm Toni and a certified Life Coach. Is there a major life transition benching you? Let’s create a winning game plan to move into your new adventure. Your life only seems to be over, however, there’s still time on the clock. Let’s get you off the bench to start your comeback.

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