The Turkish Diplomats Present Charming Noise

Turkish Diplomats Present Charming Noise
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  • TV & FILM
  • UPDATED BIWEEKLY

Tom, Calvin and Paul talk about their long history as fans of bad movies and as good friends, and generally embarrass everyone they know. They also do what they can to ruin podcasting for the rest of the world.

  1. JAN 1

    Season 3, Episode 8: Macon County Line

    Finally, the boys bring you a new Episode! This time it's the 1974 drive-in hit, "Macon County Line," which once you see it, you'll say, "Well...it was 1974." This hicksploitation classic has everything you want in a drive-in movie, and quite a few minutes of stuff you don't. Jethro Bodine himself, Max Baer, Jr., is the Sheriff in Macon County, and he's also the co-writer of the movie. I won't tell you much before you listen to the episode or see the film, but know it's not going to be an animated Disney classic anytime soon. Several recognizable character actors are in the movie, including the great Geoffrey Lewis. The boys talk about all this, and how it wasn't quite what they thought it would be.

    37 min

  2. 09/20/2025

    Season 3, Episode 7: Double Feature of Eat My Dust and ZAAT

    The Turkish Diplomats are back, but this time it's a double feature! It's two movies in one show, so you know the time mismanagement is strong with this one. First up, Tom, Calvin, and Paul tackle the 1976 Ron Howard vehicle (literally) called "Eat My Dust," followed by the 1971 Florida monster flick no one can spell called "ZAAT." Our first movie is about a kid who steals a race car, angers his dad who is also the county sheriff, nearly murders a couple of dozen spectators, and somehow evades dozens of police and prison. The second movie is about how a really bitter scientist with an apparent fish fetish transforms himself into a monster, murders rivals and anyone else in his way, kidnaps beautiful sunbathers to make his own seafood spouse, and creates a Superfund site in the middle of the Florida wetlands. Both are bad, but in their own way, and the boys try to make sense of all this for you, dear listeners. As always, this show is available on most of the finest podcast platforms, and also available on the Turkish Diplomats channel on YouTube.

    39 min

  3. 09/02/2025

    Season 3, Episode 6: The Big Doll House

    The Turkish Diplomats are back, and we have reviewed a movie to create what can be described as audio! Only Tom, Calvin, and Paul love you enough to review movies out of any semblance of order, so this episode is on the movie "The Big Doll House," another women's prison escape movie set in the Phillipines. This came out a couple of years before "Black Mama, White Mama" which was also directed by Jack Hill, and also starred Pam Grier and Sid Haig. The difference between the two is, unfortunately, that they made a far better movie with their next outing. Still, there's shootouts, violence, torture, inappropriate sexual overtones, drugs, and humidity, and it just gets better from there! Remember, we are on all the big services, like Apple Podcasts, Spotify, TuneIn, and even YouTube (and a couple of others that slip my mind). Don't forget to check out our Facebook page and our website for all things Turkish Diplomattilicious.

    35 min

  4. 06/26/2025

    Season 3, Episode 5: I Dismember Mama

    Greetings! The boys from Charming Noise are back with a movie that is both terrifying and cringe-inducing. We could only be describing "I Dismember Mama" from 1972, also known as "Poor Albert & Little Annie." Albert has, let's call them issues, and ends up institutionalized just because he tried matricide once. Unfortunately, therapy has not helped much, and he escapes and heads home to finish off mama. She's not there, but...well, it gets bad. It's got murders, sure, and then a long section where he grooms one of his victim's daughters. That's right, you do not want to see this movie. But we have, and are willing to convey our displeasure with hilarity and a bit of therapy.

    31 min

  5. 04/25/2025

    Season 3, Episode 4: Black Mama White Mama

    FOR IMMEDIATE RELEASE – AND POSSIBLY PAROLE The Turkish Diplomats Present: Charming Noise Next Episode – “Black Mama, White Mama”: Pam Grier, Chains, and Mid-Jungle Mayhem Hold onto your polyester, kids—because the Turkish Diplomats are back, and this time we’re handcuffed to 1973’s Black Mama White Mama, a film that asks the timeless question: “What if The Defiant Ones had more cleavage, a flamethrower, and a funk soundtrack?” Starring the indestructible Pam Grier and her very sweaty co-star Margaret Markov, this explosive romp through revolution, bathhouse brawls, and jungle justice gets the full diplomatic treatment in our next Charming Noise episode. It’s social commentary with a side of gunfire, smuggled cash, and an evil nun who probably missed her calling in Bond villainy. Coming soon to Podbean, Spotify, Apple, iHeartRadio, and anywhere fine podcasts flee the authorities. Subscribe now, or risk solitary confinement with nothing but a VHS copy and no tracking button.

    37 min

  6. 04/12/2025

    Season 3, Episode 3: Frogs

    The boys are back with a new episode of The Turkish Diplomats Present Charming Noise! This time, we subjected ourselves to the 1972 drive-in classic Frogs. This one has some genuine stars of the screen, including Joan Van Ark, Ray Milland, and Sam Elliott. We have confirmed it is him although the mustache is not present in this film. Basically it's a warning not to throw Sevin dust or giant canisters of "No More Amphibians" around your island. Sam meets a wealthy family fighting with each other for the wealthy Grandpa's attention, yet all the animals yearn for their demise. Will any survive? Will Joan and Sam become an item? Will Sam take off his shirt? Yeah, you know that last one is true.

    35 min

  7. 03/03/2025

    Season 3, Episode 2: Empire of the Ants

    Incoming madness! The Turkish Diplomats are diving headfirst into Empire of the Ants (1977), a film that dares to mix real estate fraud, toxic waste, and *giant mind-controlling ants**—all with the sheer audacity of 70s B-movie insanity. Joan Collins tries to survive, but will we? Tune in soon for our latest episode of *Charming Noise, where we unravel this glorious disaster—coming soon on Podbean, Spotify, Apple, and now *iHeart Radio*! #CharmingNoise #EmpireOfTheAnts #BadMovieGold

    35 min

  8. 02/17/2025

    Season 3, Episode 1: She Demons

    By God, the boys have finally posted the first episode of a new season! Yes Season 3, Episode 1 of the Turkish Diplomats Present Charming Noise is finally live. In this extra-long very special episode, Tom, Calvin, and Paul review what some have referred to as "a movie." From 1958, "She Demons" by B-movie director Richard Cunha provides the fodder for the boys to nearly talk longer than the actual movie. There's a lot to check out...hurricanes, shipwrecks, mild but pervasive racism, barely-clothed dance troupes, and that's before the Nazis show up! Then there's a laboratory, an unlikely love story, underground laboratories, monster ladies, German geothermal energy exploitation, and maybe a nuclear bomb! Speaking of a bomb, that may be what this movie is, but you'll have to listen to find out. We're on Spotify, Apple Podcasts, TuneIn, and YouTube, or you can check out our website at www.turkishdiplomats.com.

    1h 10m
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Tom, Calvin and Paul talk about their long history as fans of bad movies and as good friends, and generally embarrass everyone they know. They also do what they can to ruin podcasting for the rest of the world.

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