I Wish You Knew

Adam Lane Smith & Andrey Korikov
  • 4.8 (50)
  • RELATIONSHIPS
  • UPDATED WEEKLY

Join the duo, Andrey Korikov, and Adam Lane Smith The Attachment Specialist, as they cut through the noise with bold, unfiltered discussions on love, connection, and relationships. From questions about love, psychology, and relationships to discussing the latest shifts in the culture and media, they’ll cover it all. If you’re ready for a podcast that’s as insightful and real as it gets—buckle up and get ready to rethink everything you thought you knew about relationships!

  1. The Forgotten Attachment Psychology of Biblical Marriage | Jonathan Pageau & Adam Lane Smith

    1D AGO

    The Forgotten Attachment Psychology of Biblical Marriage | Jonathan Pageau & Adam Lane Smith

    Most people have been sold a version of marriage that's either a power grab or a slow sacrifice into nothing. This conversation dismantles both. Adam Lane Smith sits down with Jonathan Pageau, symbolic artist, Orthodox Christian thinker, and author, to go deep on what Biblical marriage actually asks of a man, what it gives a woman, and why the model most people are running has nothing to do with Christianity. What you'll learn in this conversation: → Why hierarchy in a Christian marriage looks nothing like the Roman model most people are reacting against → What it actually means for a husband to "die to self" and why it's not what you think → The covenant framework God uses with Israel and what it reveals about secure attachment in marriage → How oxytocin, the nervous system, and masculine sacrifice are biologically connected → Why women become contemptuous of men who collapse into the home and what a wife actually needs → The undervalued power of the feminine private sphere and why dismissing it is destroying families → What repair looks like inside a covenant and why so many Christians don't believe it's available to them → How the seasons of a woman's life create a different kind of contribution than a man's and why that's worth honoring If you've been told that submission means suffering, or that self-sacrifice means disappearing, this conversation will give you a language for something you've felt but couldn't name. 📚 WORK WITH ME 🫂 RELATIONSHIP MASTERY INTENSIVE April 23–26, 2026 | San Diego, California 3 days of real skill-building with people who understand exactly what you're going through.  Apply here: https://adamlanesmith.com/retreat/?utm_source=youtube&utm_medium=retreat 💬 1:1 COACHING Work directly with my team: https://adamlanesmith.com/private-coaching/ 📋 FREE ATTACHMENT QUIZ Find out your attachment style in under 5 minutes: https://adamlanesmith.com/attachment-assessment/ 📬 NEWSLETTER Get weekly insights on attachment patterns: https://adamlanesmith.com/newsletter-signup/ --- Jonathan Pageau's website: thesymbolicworld.com Jonathan's YouTube channel: https://www.youtube.com/c/jonathanpageau Connect with Adam on your second preferred platform: Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/attachmentadam/    TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@attachmentbro    X: https://twitter.com/adamlanesmith    Threads: https://www.threads.com/@attachmentadam    Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/AdamLaneSmith/   I Wish You Knew Podcast: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCh_uRUnpQwNZb_WG76TxTTw?sub_confirmation=1

    47 min
  2. Attachment Styles at Work: Why Avoidant Leaders Destroy Companies

    3D AGO

    Attachment Styles at Work: Why Avoidant Leaders Destroy Companies

    80% of management strategies create addiction and fear. Your best employees aren’t burning out because they’re weak. They’re burning out because you’re running their nervous system on the wrong chemical. You keep giving them dopamine: bonuses, titles, corner offices. And every single hit requires a bigger one tomorrow just to feel the same. Meanwhile, their cortisol climbs higher with every promotion, every new responsibility, every quarter where the targets get bigger and the recognition gets emptier. This is the episode where Adam Lane Smith and Andrey Korikov break down the Secure Loyalty Formula: the biochemical equation that separates companies people would fight for from companies people quietly escape from. Adam’s recent TEDx talk introduced Bio Loyalty: the concept that real human loyalty isn’t built through manipulation or incentive structures. It’s built the same way a healthy family is built: through deep need fulfillment that makes people genuinely want to stay. Most companies have never even considered this. They’re running the same addiction cycle they use in bad relationships: give a hit, withdraw the hit, punish for not performing, repeat. The equation is simple: Attraction + Commitment ÷ Cortisol. Most companies only target attraction. That’s the dopamine. That’s the “we are all family here” lie. That’s the pizza party nobody asked for. What’s missing is the commitment piece: vasopressin bonding through shared achievement, serotonin through genuine belonging, and cortisol managed at the right level so people actually care without being crushed. In this episode, you’ll learn why two thirds of dopamine is just anticipation (and why the reward never feels as good as you imagined), why avoidant leaders scoff at loyalty and only understand manipulation, why Gen Z isn’t lazy but has been dopamine burned out since birth, the difference between the Secure Love Formula and the Secure Loyalty Formula, how Japanese work culture got the bonding right but destroyed their people in the process, why anxious and disorganized employees are actually more likely to become deeply loyal, the mentorship model that builds tribal belonging instead of learned helplessness, and the three steps any leader can deploy today to start building the Secure Work Home Balance. This conversation breaks down the nervous system science applied to how humans actually bond in professional environments: the same biochemistry that builds lasting marriages, applied to building teams that stay, perform, and recruit your next best hire for you. The research shows teams built on this formula are up to 30% more productive and 30% more profitable. 📚 WORK WITH ME 🫂 RELATIONSHIP MASTERY INTENSIVE April 23–26, 2026 | San Diego, California 3 days of real skill-building with people who understand exactly what you're going through. Apply here: https://adamlanesmith.com/retreat/?utm_source=youtube&utm_medium=retreat 💬 1:1 COACHING Work directly with my team: https://adamlanesmith.com/private-coaching/ 📋 FREE ATTACHMENT QUIZ Find out your attachment style in under 5 minutes: https://adamlanesmith.com/attachment-assessment/ 📬 NEWSLETTER Get weekly insights on attachment patterns: https://adamlanesmith.com/newsletter-signup/

    1h 4m
  3. Your Body Keeps Score When You Stop Feeling (The Attachment Style Nobody Talks About)

    FEB 21

    Your Body Keeps Score When You Stop Feeling (The Attachment Style Nobody Talks About)

    She schedules her crying every week. She hasn't processed a single painful experience in her entire life. And her body is keeping score. Raina is a brand strategist, agency owner, mother of two, and one of the most high-functioning people you'll ever meet. She's also been running on pure survival mode since childhood; dissociating from every emotion that slowed her down and treating the people around her like objects she navigates around instead of humans she connects with. In this episode, Adam breaks down how quiet disorganized attachment combined with autistic features creates a double-layered wall between someone and every person who's ever tried to love them. He explains why "understanding why someone hurt you" isn't the same as forgiving them; it's actually stripping them of their humanity. And he walks Raina through the exact moment her nervous system learned that love is just a setup for betrayal. his conversation covers: Why high-functioning women with chronic dissociation often develop autoimmune disorders by their mid-30s The difference between short-term dissociation (useful) and lifelong dissociation (destructive) How your brain processes trauma using left brain logic and right brain emotion; and why it gets stuck What happens when you remove someone's agency by excusing everything they do Kohlberg's morality scale and why you should only open up to the top 10% The "resolve and repair" model for confronting people without rupturing the relationship Why the people who confused you in your life were probably the ones who loved you most How 40 collaborative conversations in 90 days can rewire your neural pathways If you've ever been told you're "cold" when you're actually terrified; this one's for you. 📚 WORK WITH ME 🫂 RELATIONSHIP MASTERY INTENSIVE April 23–26, 2026 | San Diego, California 3 days of real skill-building with people who understand exactly what you're going through. Apply here: https://adamlanesmith.com/retreat/?utm_source=youtube&utm_medium=retreat 💬 1:1 COACHING Work directly with my team: https://adamlanesmith.com/private-coaching/ 📋 FREE ATTACHMENT QUIZ Find out your attachment style in under 5 minutes: https://adamlanesmith.com/attachment-assessment/ 📬 NEWSLETTER Get weekly insights on attachment patterns: https://adamlanesmith.com/newsletter-signup/

    1h 23m
  4. Why Modern Parenting Is Creating a Mental Health Crisis (ft. Erica Komisar)

    FEB 13

    Why Modern Parenting Is Creating a Mental Health Crisis (ft. Erica Komisar)

    🚨 LOVE FOR LIFE: VALENTINE’S 2026 — SALE 🚨  Are you working on yourself or building love together as a couple? This is for anyone ready to break unhealthy attachment patterns, build emotional security, and create a foundation for love that feels safe, connected, and built to last. 👉 https://bundle.adamlanesmith.com/vale... Children are born neurologically and emotionally fragile. They're born feeling frightened and unsafe. And somewhere along the way, we decided that was someone else's problem to solve. Erica Komisar joins Adam Lane Smith for a conversation about what we've lost: the understanding that the first three years of a child's life shape everything that comes after. In this video:  → Why 85% of your child's social-emotional brain develops before age three  → The attachment foundation that determines mental health for life  → How we told women that careers matter more than shaping the next generation  → What chronic absence does to a child's nervous system (and why we're medicating the result)  → The feminist message that backfired: "Women should be more like men"  → Why 60% of mothers would stay home if they had financial and emotional support  → The father's role: vasopressin, protection, play, and teaching risk  → How fatherlessness connects to the behavioral crisis in young boys  → The deathbed question: who will be holding your hand when you die?  → Why sibling rivalry spikes when parents aren't present enough  → The CEO/CFO model of marriage: equal value, different specialization  → How wives can pull workaholic husbands back into the family ABOUT ERICA KOMISAR: Erica Komisar is a psychoanalyst, parent guidance expert, and author of "Being There: Why Prioritizing Motherhood in the First Three Years Matters." Her new book on raising healthy children through divorce releases March 2026. 🔗 Erica's Website: komisar.com  🔗 Attachment Circles (Nonprofit): attachmentcircles.org 🔗 Instagram: @ericakommisar 📚 WORK WITH ME 🫂 RELATIONSHIP MASTERY INTENSIVE April 23–26, 2026 | San Diego, California 3 days of real skill-building with people who understand exactly what you're going through. Apply here: https://adamlanesmith.com/retreat/?ut... 💬 1:1 COACHING Work directly with my team: https://adamlanesmith.com/private-coa... 📋 FREE ATTACHMENT QUIZ Find out your attachment style in under 5 minutes: https://adamlanesmith.com/attachment-... 📬 NEWSLETTER Get weekly insights on attachment patterns: https://adamlanesmith.com/newsletter

    1h 4m
  5. How to Stop Attracting Emotionally Unavailable Men (ft. Danica Patrick)

    FEB 7

    How to Stop Attracting Emotionally Unavailable Men (ft. Danica Patrick)

    She's won races most people can't finish. Built businesses. Commanded stages. But relationships? That's where the pattern kept breaking. Danica Patrick joins Adam Lane Smith and Andrey Korikov for a raw conversation about why high-achieving women keep attracting emotionally unavailable men: and what actually has to change. In this video:  → The "quiet disorganized" attachment pattern most successful women don't know they have  → Why making life easy for men destroys the bond you're trying to build  → The four levels of safety men must provide: and where most fail  → Adam's three-date method for filtering out avoidant men fast  → How to stop erasing yourself in relationships  → The CEO/COO model that lets you stay in your feminine at home  → Why male discomfort is actually a good sign 📚 WORK WITH ME 🫂 RELATIONSHIP MASTERY INTENSIVE April 23–26, 2026 | San Diego, California 3 days of real skill-building with people who understand exactly what you're going through. Apply here: https://adamlanesmith.com/retreat/?ut... 💬 1:1 COACHING Work directly with my team: https://adamlanesmith.com/private-coa... 📋 FREE ATTACHMENT QUIZ Find out your attachment style in under 5 minutes: https://adamlanesmith.com/attachment-... 📬 NEWSLETTER Get weekly insights on attachment patterns: https://adamlanesmith.com/newsletter-signup

    1h 32m
  6. Why Dating Is A Failed Concept

    JAN 30

    Why Dating Is A Failed Concept

    Why is dating broken?  Why are young men flooding back to church?  In this conversation, I sit down with Patrick Coffin: Catholic broadcaster, close-up magician, and host of The Patrick Coffin Show. We go deep on the real reasons relationships are falling apart: and it goes back further than you think. We cover:  → Why dating is a failed concept (and what humans actually need)  → The 3 "divorces" that broke Western civilization  → How your image of God shapes your attachment style  → Why empaths and narcissists can't stop finding each other  → The difference between emotional permanence and emotional impermanence  → What the Traditional Latin Mass has to do with secure attachment  → Why "spiritual but not religious" is code for "I don't want to be challenged"  → The biochemistry of feeling loved (oxytocin, vasopressin, and cortisol)  → How to repair after conflict: the skill most families lost 120 years ago Plus: Patrick performs a live magic trick that lands. This is the intersection of faith, neuroscience, and attachment theory: the stuff that actually changes how you bond. 🔗 RESOURCES MENTIONED: Patrick Coffin's Podcast: https://patrickcoffin.media  True North Community: https://patrickcoffin.media 📚 WORK WITH ME: 🫂 RELATIONSHIP MASTERY INTENSIVE April 23–26, 2026 | San Diego, California 3 days of real skill-building with people who understand exactly what you're going through. Apply here: https://adamlanesmith.com/retreat/?utm_source=youtube&utm_medium=retreat 💬 1:1 COACHING Work directly with my team: https://adamlanesmith.com/private-coaching/ 📋 FREE ATTACHMENT QUIZ Find out your attachment style in under 5 minutes: https://adamlanesmith.com/attachment-assessment/ 📬 NEWSLETTER Get weekly insights on attachment patterns: https://adamlanesmith.com/newsletter-signup/ 🎙️ ABOUT THIS CHANNEL: I'm Adam Lane Smith, The Attachment Specialist. I've spent 16 years helping people understand how their brain learned to bond: and how to change it. I work with anxious, avoidant, and disorganized attachment styles to build secure relationships that actually last. Subscribe for weekly videos on attachment, relationships, and the psychology of connection.

    1h 20m
  7. Schedule Your Feelings. Here's Why.

    JAN 23

    Schedule Your Feelings. Here's Why.

    Dr. Chris Lee opens with the truth most people avoid: men are dying from loneliness.  In this conversation, Adam Lane Smith and Dr. Chris Lee break down the science of emotional regulation, why your amygdala hallucinates up to 340% more threats if you have insecure attachment, and why scheduling your feelings might be the most counterintuitive (and effective) thing you ever do. About Dr. Chris Lee: Neuroscience researcher, consultant, father, homeschool parent. Lost his father to suicide at 22, had his daughter two weeks later. Built his career understanding why men suffer in silence and how to break the pattern. 🔗 Instagram: @drchrislee  🔗 Website: drchrislee.com About Adam Lane Smith: The Attachment Specialist. 17 years married. Six children (number six on the way). Helping one billion people become securely attached. 🔗 RESOURCES: 🫂 RELATIONSHIP MASTERY INTENSIVE April 23–26, 2026 | San Diego, California 3 days of real skill-building with people who understand exactly what you're going through. Apply here: https://adamlanesmith.com/retreat/?utm_source=youtube&utm_medium=retreat 📋 FREE ATTACHMENT QUIZ  Find out your attachment style in under 5 minutes: https://adamlanesmith.com/attachment-assessment/ 📬 NEWSLETTER Get weekly insights on attachment patterns: https://adamlanesmith.com/newsletter-signup/ #mentalhealth #mensmentalhealth #suicide #loneliness #attachment #emotionalintelligence #stressmanagement #cortisol #relationships #healing

    1h 13m
  8. The Science of Why Men Cheat (And How to Stop)

    JAN 16

    The Science of Why Men Cheat (And How to Stop)

    New Year's Sale. Up to 40% Off All Programs https://bundle.adamlanesmith.com/nynm?utm_source=youtube&utm_medium=nyny RELATIONSHIP MASTERY INTENSIVE 2026 April 23 to 26 | San Diego, California https://adamlanesmith.com/retreat/?utm_source=youtube&utm_medium=retreat 🔗 Attachment Assessment: Dr. Orion Taraban returns to break down what most relationship advice gets completely wrong. We dive into the neurochemistry behind attraction and commitment: dopamine, oxytocin, vasopressin, cortisol; and why chasing "good feelings" is destroying modern relationships. Adam reveals the Secure Loyalty Equation he and Andrey developed, explaining why purpose and shared challenges create bonds that last decades. We cover:  → Why "love bombing" actually works (and what that reveals)  → The 58 to 63 day window for rewiring attachment patterns  → What the prairie vole experiments teach us about human monogamy  → Building a 1000 year family legacy vs. optimizing for immediate happiness  → The spiritual case for non;attachment in relationships 🔗 Dr. Taraban's new book Starry Night: https://amzn.to/4sGcqOY Find him: youtube.com/@OrionTaraban About Adam Lane Smith: Attachment specialist. 17 years married. Author and coach helping one billion people become securely attached. 🔗 Website: adamlanesmith.com 🔗 Attachment Assessment: https://adamlanesmith.com/attachment-assessment/ 🔗 Attachment Repair Program: https://adamlanesmith.com/attachment-repair/ 🔗 Retreat: https://adamlanesmith.com/retreat/?utm_source=youtube&utm_medium=retreat 🔗 New Year's Sale: Uutm_source=youtube&utm_medium=nynybundle.adamlanesmith.com/nynm?utm_source=youtube&utm_medium=nyny

    1h 38m
See All (100)

4.8
out of 5
50 Ratings

About

Join the duo, Andrey Korikov, and Adam Lane Smith The Attachment Specialist, as they cut through the noise with bold, unfiltered discussions on love, connection, and relationships. From questions about love, psychology, and relationships to discussing the latest shifts in the culture and media, they’ll cover it all. If you’re ready for a podcast that’s as insightful and real as it gets—buckle up and get ready to rethink everything you thought you knew about relationships!

Information

  • Creator
    Adam Lane Smith & Andrey Korikov
  • Years Active
    2023 - 2026
  • Episodes
    100
  • Rating
    Clean
  • Copyright
    © Copyright 2023 All rights reserved.
  • Show Website
    I Wish You Knew

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